Elliot
Wednesday, January 15th
"Elliot, what's going on?" Kathy asked me, looking up from the book she was reading. "Talk to me."
I sat down, facing her. "It's nothing. Just a case."
"Just a case is when you talk about it. You've checked on the kids four times in the last two hours."
I exhaled slowly. "It's not one you want to hear about."
"I'm not asking for the visuals. Is this about the boy who was killed?"
"Josh. That's part of it. Do you remember the girl that Stephanie was talking about?"
"Vaguely. Jenny something?"
"Jamie."
"What about her?"
"She was Josh's girlfriend. And while we were investigating his murder, we found out that she was raped at a debate."
"By who?"
"A guy who had been one of her judges. There was a party in the dorm she was staying in. He got her into her room for some reason, and he raped her."
She looked down. "And this was the debate we were going to let Maureen go to with Stephanie. It could have been her, Kathy. It could have been her."
She looked up and put her hand on my shoulder. "But it wasn't. Elliot, I know that you have to deal with so much crap with your job, and it doesn't make it any easier to have to come home and deal with two teenage daughters. But you have to talk to me. You can't just keep shutting me out. It's not good for you, me or the kids."
"Yeah," I said softly.
In my mind, work and home were two completely different things. Work was work and home was home. I lived far away from the office, so the drive home was my chance to let it go. To stop being a cop and start being a dad. I separate the two, and there was no cross contamination. Except for cases like this. Cases where the victims could so easily be my kids. Jamie being my daughters, and Josh being my son. Kathy thought I deliberately tried to block her out. It wasn't like that. The easy thing would be to go home and dump it on her. But she was my wife, and I loved her. I couldn't tell her about the most horrific crimes that this society committed. I couldn't put her through what I felt everyday.
Sometime after Kathy fell asleep, I got out of bed, still unable to sleep. I opened the door and found myself in Elizabeth and Dickie's room.
They still hadn't gotten sick of sharing a room. Maureen and Kathleen had gone through a stage when they were sure that they wanted to share a room. It had only worked out for three weeks before they were ready to kill each other. This week, Elizabeth was on the bottom bunk.
I worried about her a lot. She was ten, and she was smart, but still acted about seven. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe she wouldn't start giving me attitude or dating at age twelve like her sisters had. Or maybe she would be like so many of the victims I saw everyday. She was innocent, and could end up an easy target. I wiped her bangs off her small forehead and kissed her, pulling her blanket up to her chin.
Then there was Dickie. He was really special. Possibly the only normal one in the house, considering I lived with four other women. He was the opposite of Elizabeth- mature for his age. He was determined to become a rock star. That's what had scared me so much when we looked through Josh's room. Dickie was going to start playing saxophone next year, as Josh did. Fear seized me when we looked through his room. I saw the picture of him and all I saw was Dickie. I pulled up his blankets and kissed his forehead. I silently shut their door and went into Maureen's room.
Maureen was something else. She was at the awkward stage between being a kid and a grown up. She was moody and had just started dating. After a case Olivia and I had worked last year when we found out about girls her age having oral sex at the drop of a hat, I had tried in every possible way to keep her from dating. Of course Kathy had stepped in and straightened me out, but I was still afraid that she could become one of those girls. I hated the looks she got from guys, and the guys who looked at her. She was fourteen, but looked older. She thought she was older as well, and expected to be given special privileges. I was so afraid that someone would think that she was older, and act accordingly. She wasn't ready for a sexual relationship, no matter what she thought. I kissed her cheek and left her room.
And finally there was Maureen. Kathy and I were so young when she was born. For a long time I thought that I hadn't done a good enough job as a father to her. But she turned out okay. Sometimes, I thought, better than the others. We had learned so much from her, probably more than she had learned from us. The first time I saw her, I couldn't believe that it was possible to love some one so much. She still looked just like Kathy. She had fallen asleep with her Discman on, music blaring. I gently pulled the earphones from around her neck, turned the Discman off and put it on her head board. I kissed her cheek and went back to my own bed, hoping that Kathy didn't notice that I was gone.
Wednesday, January 15th
"Elliot, what's going on?" Kathy asked me, looking up from the book she was reading. "Talk to me."
I sat down, facing her. "It's nothing. Just a case."
"Just a case is when you talk about it. You've checked on the kids four times in the last two hours."
I exhaled slowly. "It's not one you want to hear about."
"I'm not asking for the visuals. Is this about the boy who was killed?"
"Josh. That's part of it. Do you remember the girl that Stephanie was talking about?"
"Vaguely. Jenny something?"
"Jamie."
"What about her?"
"She was Josh's girlfriend. And while we were investigating his murder, we found out that she was raped at a debate."
"By who?"
"A guy who had been one of her judges. There was a party in the dorm she was staying in. He got her into her room for some reason, and he raped her."
She looked down. "And this was the debate we were going to let Maureen go to with Stephanie. It could have been her, Kathy. It could have been her."
She looked up and put her hand on my shoulder. "But it wasn't. Elliot, I know that you have to deal with so much crap with your job, and it doesn't make it any easier to have to come home and deal with two teenage daughters. But you have to talk to me. You can't just keep shutting me out. It's not good for you, me or the kids."
"Yeah," I said softly.
In my mind, work and home were two completely different things. Work was work and home was home. I lived far away from the office, so the drive home was my chance to let it go. To stop being a cop and start being a dad. I separate the two, and there was no cross contamination. Except for cases like this. Cases where the victims could so easily be my kids. Jamie being my daughters, and Josh being my son. Kathy thought I deliberately tried to block her out. It wasn't like that. The easy thing would be to go home and dump it on her. But she was my wife, and I loved her. I couldn't tell her about the most horrific crimes that this society committed. I couldn't put her through what I felt everyday.
Sometime after Kathy fell asleep, I got out of bed, still unable to sleep. I opened the door and found myself in Elizabeth and Dickie's room.
They still hadn't gotten sick of sharing a room. Maureen and Kathleen had gone through a stage when they were sure that they wanted to share a room. It had only worked out for three weeks before they were ready to kill each other. This week, Elizabeth was on the bottom bunk.
I worried about her a lot. She was ten, and she was smart, but still acted about seven. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe she wouldn't start giving me attitude or dating at age twelve like her sisters had. Or maybe she would be like so many of the victims I saw everyday. She was innocent, and could end up an easy target. I wiped her bangs off her small forehead and kissed her, pulling her blanket up to her chin.
Then there was Dickie. He was really special. Possibly the only normal one in the house, considering I lived with four other women. He was the opposite of Elizabeth- mature for his age. He was determined to become a rock star. That's what had scared me so much when we looked through Josh's room. Dickie was going to start playing saxophone next year, as Josh did. Fear seized me when we looked through his room. I saw the picture of him and all I saw was Dickie. I pulled up his blankets and kissed his forehead. I silently shut their door and went into Maureen's room.
Maureen was something else. She was at the awkward stage between being a kid and a grown up. She was moody and had just started dating. After a case Olivia and I had worked last year when we found out about girls her age having oral sex at the drop of a hat, I had tried in every possible way to keep her from dating. Of course Kathy had stepped in and straightened me out, but I was still afraid that she could become one of those girls. I hated the looks she got from guys, and the guys who looked at her. She was fourteen, but looked older. She thought she was older as well, and expected to be given special privileges. I was so afraid that someone would think that she was older, and act accordingly. She wasn't ready for a sexual relationship, no matter what she thought. I kissed her cheek and left her room.
And finally there was Maureen. Kathy and I were so young when she was born. For a long time I thought that I hadn't done a good enough job as a father to her. But she turned out okay. Sometimes, I thought, better than the others. We had learned so much from her, probably more than she had learned from us. The first time I saw her, I couldn't believe that it was possible to love some one so much. She still looked just like Kathy. She had fallen asleep with her Discman on, music blaring. I gently pulled the earphones from around her neck, turned the Discman off and put it on her head board. I kissed her cheek and went back to my own bed, hoping that Kathy didn't notice that I was gone.