A/N: I must give credit here to Silver Queen, the author of the self-insert fic Dreaming of Sunshine. That fic is where I got the idea for putting storage seals inside your mouth, and it is because of that fic too that I developed that basic idea into...this chapter. Go read that story. It's very creative and the protagonist never gets too meta, never makes a lot of references to knowing everything that's going to happen because she watched the show. She really does become a true hybrid character, a Naruto character obviously but one with the ambition and the kinds of ideas that could only come from someone who had lived in this world. It's wonderful. Even though it's not complete and looks like it never will be, I love all 151 chapters that are there.

And now, on to the reason why I said that.

Edit: oh, and in case anyone got an email for a chapter 174 of this story last Tuesday: that was because of a mistake on my part. The process of posting a new chapter has become so quick and effortless for me that I didn't notice I'd selected the wrong story until I saw the chapter number. I was trying to post a new chapter for Twospirit that day. THIS is chapter 174 of this fic.

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Kisame

Kisame went back to the lake.

"Same," he warned. The shark refrained from rushing in. He chirped at the lake instead. It did not respond.

Kisame knelt at the edge, closed his eyes, and dipped his fingers in. The touch of the water seemed to fizzle, but under his skin. It spread through him. It felt really good. Kisame remembered that a large number of things had died to give him this experience and pulled his hand back with a shudder.

Samehada warbled questioningly. "No, it doesn't feel bad. I just can't stand the idea of who knows how many fish and algae and shit dying so I could feel nice. It's like I'm soaking up the essence of death."

Samehada made a sound much like laughter and gestured towards Kisame. Then he gestured toward a nearby plant, then toward the lake, and finally toward himself. "Me, plant, lake, you," Kisame muttered. "Alive?" Samehada nodded. Kisame's brow furrowed. "The essence of death is life." Samehada lolled his tongue out like he was happy Kisame had finally realized.

Kisame stared at the lake. He imagined it was staring back at him. "No," he told it, then turned and walked away.

Samehada wanted to explore more of the forest. I should train. I certainly don't have time for it during the week. "Same, are you okay exploring by yourself? I should get back and train my ninja skills." The shark warbled sadly, but understood. He pressed his snout into Kisame's leg and made a reassuring hum. "Thanks." He's so understanding. I really don't know how this happened to me. I don't deserve it.

As Kisame crossed the backyard, he thought he heard the sound of a vehicle. Who was driving around on the weekend and why? He circled the building. Nobody was there. But when he turned back, he saw a big box on the front doorstep. Oh, thank goodness. Just a delivery driver. Kisame grinned and hauled the box inside. He tore it open as frantically as any child on Christmas Day. The halls echoed with his laughter.

Hidan and Konan arrived in less than five seconds. "What the fuck is -"

"Stay back unless you want to mess with me," Kisame said with a giant grin. He tilted an enormous sword towards Hidan. "This feels right." The weight of the sword in his hands felt like a long-lost piece of him had come home. How did I not know I needed this? It's wonderful. Itachi is a fucking genius.

Hidan looked at the sword, then turned and went back down the hall. He came back with his scythe. He tapped it against the sword's blade. "I might be able to match ya," he concluded.

Kisame dug the giant scabbard his sword had come with out of the box. He could tell immediately that wearing it would not be as natural as holding the sword. But since his new sword was a metal blade, and not Samehada's scales, it needed a cover. He laid both on the floor and ripped open the interior packaging that held the weapon packs. "'Scuse me." He took his sword, scabbard, and weapon pack back to his room so nobody would see him struggle to put on the scabbard. I might need Youtube videos.

Konan

Konan knocked on the door of the shed before entering. "Status report on the storage seal."

Sasori did not interrupt what he was doing. "Still going strong."

Konan wondered about that as she walked away. Really? Storage seals are one of the special seals that can be drawn on a human body? Why was I never told about this? Why isn't this common knowledge? What possible downsides could there be to having storage seals drawn on your body? Several downsides came to mind, but none of them were severe enough in her opinion to prevent people from using seals this way. It would be impossible to direct chakra towards that region of the body without activating the seal, but most people had large regions of skin that they never propelled chakra out of, so it shouldn't matter very much. Seals could not be drawn on top of each other, so if one needed to have some other kind of seal applied in the same spot, they would have to go through a time consuming procedure to remove the first one. Again, most people did not get body seals, so not much of a problem. Enemies would be able to activate seals placed on outer skin with a touch, thus potentially using them against their owner. But storage seals? How could anyone possibly take advantage of those? Releasing everything that was held in them from storage would certainly inconvenience their owner, but no shinobi would ever keep essentials in there when that was a risk, so it wouldn't be too bad. The downsides seemed to be dwarfed by the upsides.

"How is it?" Nagato asked. Yahiko grinned at his weapon pack, looking at it from all angles. Hidan hugged his to his chest and purred.

"It is intact," Konan reported.

Nagato took his seal drawing supplies off the lobby desk. "Great! Who wants to go first?"

"Me!" Hidan raised a hand. "I want one right here." He partially unzipped his cloak and indicated the spot.

"There?!"

They all looked at Konan. "Is something wrong with that spot?" Nagato asked.

Konan stared at the place just below the point where Hidan's collarbones met, almost directly over his heart. The place where his Jashinist necklace should be. She closed her eyes and controlled herself. "No. It was just surprising. Most ninjas would use a more peripheral body part: an arm or a leg."

"Is there a reason for that?"

"The center of the body is where the major chakra centers are located. A seal in that location would impede medical care."

"I don't need medical care since I'm immortal, so I'll be fine. Put it on me," Hidan said. Nagato did as requested, painting a large storage seal right over his heart.

"It does feel a little weird to put a seal over the heart, of all places," Yahiko murmured. "What if his chakra is so strong there that it messes with the seal?"

"Not to mention storing weapons on a major organ seems like a setup for disaster," Nagato said. He stared at the seal. "I'm not so sure this was a good idea."

Hidan took his weapons out of their individual packaging. He tilted a shuriken back and forth, watching the way the light glinted off of it. "Shiny!" He then slapped it onto his chest. In a puff of air, it disappeared. He did the same for a kunai. There was no puff of air. He blinked. "This feels weird."

"Generally, the entire pouchful of weapons is stored at once." How did I forget that? "You would have to pile them on your chest before using the seal." This explains why people don't put storage seals on their bodies. It's just too inconvenient.

Hidan rubbed his chin. "Fuck that. Let's modify this thing."

"Not on your body," Nagato and Yahiko said at the same time. Nagato turned to Konan. "I'm gonna need some paper."

What on earth? Who learns about a limitation to a technique and immediately tries to change the technique? What lunacy. Konan gave them plenty of paper and instructed Hidan to take the shuriken out of his seal. It should not be modified with something in it. He agreed readily.

"Okay, how do we modify the seal?" Nagato asked nobody in particular. "First, we have to figure out what's going on." He paced back and forth a few times, then turned to Konan. "It sounds like the basic storage seal is binary. If it's empty, it stores whatever is outside of it. If it's not empty, it releases whatever's inside. Is that right?"

Konan nodded.

"In order to change it so that you can put things in one at a time, we would need to upgrade it to a completely different level of functioning. We would need a lot more than simple 'If X, do this, if not X, do that.' We would need a way to tell it whether or not it was supposed to store or release something every single time. Which means we wouldn't channel chakra into the main seal that does the storing and releasing, but rather some other control seal that tells the main seal what to do."

Konan had no idea what he was talking about. He used familiar words, but he seemed to be using them differently from how they were usually used. "You have developed the basic logic of how a seal works into something much greater, I see."

"It seems like seals are just very simple programs," Nagato replied. He paused. "Which you don't know about because your world does not have computers. Right."

Konan tilted her head. "You are applying knowledge of how computers work to understand seals? Interesting." Does this approach work? That is the important question.

"Hold up," Hidan said. "I may not have lived in a house for most of my life, but I've used computers. I want to have a chance to say something smart about them. I can know stuff too. Please?" Nagato and Yahiko showered him with encouragement. He grinned. "How complex can a single seal be?" he asked Konan. "I mean, how many different things can they do? We just established that storage seals can do two different things: storing and releasing. Is there any seal that can do three or more?"

Konan began to think. As the others watched her, she realized she should do her thinking out loud so they could follow. "Storage seals perform two functions: storing and releasing. Restraint seals perform only one function: they restrain what or whom they were installed on until they are broken. Explosive tags perform only one function: they explode when triggered. Medical seals seem to help in the process of healing, but I don't know how. I do not know of any kind of seal that performs more than two functions."

"If most seals do only one thing, then we should use two control seals. One to store, one to release," Yahiko said.

"Great! Now we just have to figure out how to design a seal to do a thing." Nagato slumped. "I have no idea how to do that."

"How did the storage seal we have now get designed?" Yahiko asked.

They looked at Konan. Her heart sank. I was starting to hope. "I don't know."

"Well, there must be some way to find out." Yahiko stood. "Let me see." He studied Hidan's seal closely. "Wait a sec, are these words?"

Nagato took a closer look. "They look a little like words. Some kind of writing, anyway."

"I can't read them."

Konan shrugged. "I do not know either." Can they really do it?

"Hold on. If seals have words in them, and chakra is a form of soul energy, maybe you were more right than you thought," Hidan said to Nagato. "You're literally telling the seal what to do."

"So we need to write the words 'store' and 'release' into the seal?" Yahiko asked.

"But it also has a pictorial element," Nagato murmured. "The writing, if that's what it is, is arranged in a circle around empty space. It literally forms a doorway, or portal, with its shape. Writing and drawing, combined." He went to the desk, got a sheet of paper and went to work. When he finished, he laid it down in the middle of the floor for them all to look at. He had made a regular storage seal to start with. Then, to the left of it, was a small seal formed from stylized versions of the words "seal" and "store." The words curved and overlapped each other, suggesting a circular shell composed of two parts that were partially retracted to allow something to enter. This small circle was connected to the main seal by a line formed from a stylized version of the word "control." To the right of the main seal was another small seal, similar to the first. But its words were "seal" and "release," and they did not overlap. They formed a closed circle. No more would be permitted to enter. This one was also connected by a stylized version of the word "control."

When everyone had gotten a good look, Hidan said, "Let's test it." He picked up a weapon, put it on the main seal, and activated the control seal that said "store."

Nothing happened.

A stunned silence followed. "How could it not work?" Yahiko asked.

"My modification has to do something. I didn't do anything wrong," Nagato insisted.

Konan shook her head. "Clearly, you did."

"I guess not everything can work," Yahiko muttered.

"But I was so sure it would…"

"Is there something wrong with the writing, or the drawing, or both?" Hidan asked. Nagato shrugged. Konan could not guess. Yahiko tried, but also couldn't figure it out.

"Maybe someone can help," Yahiko said while posting a request for help in the group chat.

They waited several minutes for someone to answer their call. The group chat was silent. But then Kakuzu's footsteps could be heard coming from the training rooms. He leaned around a doorway. "What's going on?"

Yahiko picked up the piece of paper and gave it to him. "Seals are powered by writing and drawing, combined. Based on the words in it and how they're drawn, what do you think these seals do?"

Kakuzu joined their little group, sitting down in the middle of the lobby floor in front of the desk. "Hmm. I see that one of them makes the inner seal store things, and it seems to do so by holding it open." He got up and left the room. He came back with a glass of water. "So I use it to make the main seal open…" He placed his left thumb on the storage control and sent a continuous flow of chakra into it. While doing that, he poured water onto the main seal. The water disappeared as soon as it touched the paper. "And I can release it by pressing and holding…" He turned the paper over and held it over the glass. When he pressed his thumb against the release control, a stream of water began to pour from the seal into the glass. He took his thumb away when the glass was only half full, and the stream stopped. He put his thumb back. The stream resumed. He held it until the seal was empty. "This is a good seal for storing something that continuously flows."

"Oh. We weren't trying to make a seal for that. We were trying to make a seal that could store multiple discrete units. Not that a water seal isn't good, it is, in fact that was one of the primary things we wanted to learn about storage seals for, but how do we make the one we wanted to make?" Nagato got up and started to pace again. "It was the drawing that was the problem. The drawing looked like something you hold open. We need something that opens and then closes, that isn't continuous. How do you draw that? You can't draw the passage of time."

Hidan, Yahiko, and Kakuzu applied their minds to this problem. "A door?" Hidan asked.

"A door doesn't automatically close. You have to close it," Yahiko replied. "A flap?"

"How the fuck can you draw a flap? Maybe a hatch," Kakuzu muttered.

"A lightning bolt," Konan said.

They all looked at her. "A lightning bolt is the ultimate example of something that cannot be sustained," she explained. "It flashes, then is gone. If that is the idea you must convey, a lightning bolt would be perfect."

"Something on the edge of collapse!" Nagato exclaimed. "Or in the process of collapsing. Maybe that can…" He trailed off, too busy working on a new sheet of paper. When he finished, he laid it on the floor on top of the old sheet of paper so they could all look at it. There was a storage seal in the center. To the left of it was the storage control, composed of stylized versions of the words "seal" and "store." The word "seal" was written horizontally, while the word "store" was written vertically above it, with a gap between them. The release control had the word "seal" written horizontally and the word "release" written vertically with no gap between them. A wall falling into place.

Hidan tried to use it on his weapons, but it didn't work. "This one might have the word 'store' in it, but it doesn't show the process of opening," he said. "It doesn't look right."

"Again, you can't draw the passage of time," Nagato repeated.

"Animators do it," Yahiko said. "They use repeated images."

"That's not an option here."

"Lemme try." Hidan went over to the desk and worked with a third sheet of paper. When he was done, he showed them the results. The words "seal," "store," and "open" made up the first control seal. "Seal" and "store" curved to form an oval that lay on its side, while "open" was written vertically and elongated so that it passed through them both. The other control seal used the words "seal," "store," and "release," with "release" fitting snugly in a horizontal line bisecting the oval.

Nagato blinked. "Is this supposed to be a spinning manhole cover?"

"Yup!"

It didn't work.

Konan ended up producing an enormous amount of paper. All five of them took turns drawing something that looked like it opened temporarily. They all failed. After an hour, they were utterly demoralized.

"I'm not as creative as I thought," Hidan whined.

"There has to be something," Yahiko protested.

"Let's try again tomorrow. Maybe someone'll get a bright idea in their dreams. That's exactly the kind of solution that would happen in a story like this," Kakuzu argued. Nobody could argue with him, so they started to gather up papers. When this several-minutes-long process was done, they sat in a circle and indulged feelings of disappointment.

Deidara walked in the door. "Guys! You're not going to believe what Laurie told me, yeah!"

"Whazzit?" Hidan asked.

"I told her about our training idea, and she said she's into it! In fact, she took up martial arts training again! She's been going to a local place a couple times a week ever since Sasori inspired her. She finally told me because she thought she'd improved enough that it would be noticeable and Sasori would be impressed."

"Nice! Man, Sasori's way cooler than I thought!" Hidan got up and high fived Deidara.

"So what were you guys doing, yeah?"

"Trying to draw words so that they looked like something that could store and release one item at a time, but like, multiple times."

Deidara plucked a piece of paper off the top of their pile, turned it over to a blank side after a glance at the seal already drawn, hesitated, then took the chakra ink and drew something. "Like this?"

He had drawn the words "seal" and "store" in an exaggerated, spiky way that made them look like teeth. On the left, the two words intersected each other at angles just like the jaw of a bear trap. The trap was currently open, with the word "catch" curled like a spring at the bottom. On the right, the two words intersected exactly the same way, with the word "release" at the top like a stick forcibly holding the jaws open. Hidan tried it. It worked. "The fuck?!"

"You said something you could pop one thing after another in," Deidara said. "So, a mouth."

"Did we get the imagery wrong?" Yahiko asked. "All our previous tries had the storage side open and the release side closed. Because, y'know, letting things in versus not letting any more in. You did the opposite. On the storage side, it's ready to slam shut, but on the release side it's held open."

"'Cause storing a thing involves grabbing it, and releasing it means getting it out of whatever it's grabbed in, yeah," Deidara said. "How can you release something if you stay closed?"

"I got my idea stuck in everyone's heads," Nagato admitted. "So even though there were multiple of us, we couldn't get any new ideas. Sorry, everyone."

"Hey, what's this?" Deidara had noticed the water seal, which was kept apart from the stack of failed attempts at weapon seals. He studied it. "This one has only two words for each control, yeah."

"That one works on materials with a continuous flow, like water," Kakuzu told him. "Don't ask me why Nagato's imagery actually worked there when it was completely wrong here."

"The second one doesn't have the word store in it, yeah."

"Aw, shit. I'm the one who started using three words for each one, and 'store' being one of them," Hidan said. "Sorry, everyone."

"I think it has a different meaning in the weapon seal? Like, there, there's a store that has to be released. But here, 'store' is only a verb."

"That was the original idea." Nagato took the seal from Deidara. "What the fuck? As our ideas changed, as we started defining the word 'store' differently, its effect on the seal changed?"

Yahiko gasped. "It's just like Hidan said. Seals work with chakra, and chakra is soul energy, so our thoughts can affect them. We're telling them what to do."

"I don't imagine your computers do this?" Konan asked. Nagato shook his head. So the analogy helped, but not completely.

"Well, this is kind of awesome!" Hidan said. "We got it! Ink me." Yahiko added the revisions to his chest. Hidan stored one weapon in the seal on his heart, then another, then another, until he was out of weapons. "Feels great!" he reported with a thumbs up. "I can kinda feel it, like it's pressing on my chakra network. It feels good, like I'm supposed to have something there."

"You're supposed to have something pressing on your chakra network?" Yahiko sounded incredulous. He looked at Konan.

What is he looking at me for? When she didn't answer, others looked at her. She had to give them something. "Original Hidan wore a necklace with the Jashinist symbol in that exact spot."

"Oh. So, Hidan's right. He is supposed to have some form of power pressing on him there." Yahiko seemed perfectly happy with this explanation. Others looked away. Only Nagato continued to hold her gaze.

Yahiko started to excitedly describe their plans to put water and food storage seals inside everyone's mouths. The bottle of chakra ink was severely depleted, so he gathered the two working seals and moved away as he did so. Kakuzu and Deidara followed him. Hidan glanced back, saw Nagato staying, and went after the others. Nagato and Konan were left behind in the lobby.

She glanced at him. Why did he stay?

He looked back at her. "You miss him, don't you?"

Konan's throat tightened. She nodded.

"Do you want to tell me about him? I mean, because we, uh, have him in common. So I might be able to understand."

Konan considered it. While she was considering, Itachi came back. "Something else has happened, Itachi. We'll discuss your topic later." He nodded and left. "I think I would," she decided.

Nagato smiled. "Your room or mine?"

Itachi

Itachi had long since found other things to think about, anyway. He went out the back door, intending to visit the Hatakes. He found Kisame attacking dark shapes with a giant sword. The shark man seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.

"I had no idea you had an interest in helping us train," Itachi said.

The dark shapes flowed together into the shape of a young boy. "Swords are cool!"

"Yes, they are," Kisame confirmed. He looked up at the sky. "Holy shit, the sun moved. How long have I been out here?"

"I know exactly how long it's been, but ~ I'm not tellllinnnnng ~," the demon boy said in a singsong voice.

"Where's Samehada?"

"Exploring the woods. I hope nothing's happened to him…"

"I was just about to head over to the Hatakes. I will look for him on my way."

Itachi did not meet Samehada on his way to the Hatakes. Ought I to look for him? Or should I trust him to handle himself? He stopped, unsure what to do. Anything could happen around here. Anything. But the demon boy said he saw only evidence of friendliness. I ought to trust, then, that Same will be safe. He kept walking.

Lights and voices could be detected in the outer cabin. The rest of the camp appeared to be deserted. Itachi stopped again. What should I do? They seem to be having a clan meeting. Would I be welcome as a representative of an allied group? Or is it a clan-only function, with outsiders not welcome? Which is it? He lamented his inability to predict what others would be thinking when they were out of his sensory range. Perhaps if I listened to what they were saying, I would know how to proceed. But that would be rude. He had little choice. With a sigh, Itachi walked up to the stairs. He stopped at the base of them and looked up, again unsure how to proceed.

It was just as well. He'd forgotten another crucial factor: the wolves. A large black wolf slunk out from beneath the porch and sniffed him warily. Never mind. I will definitely not spy on their meeting with their wolves guarding the porch. Itachi held out his hand for further sniffing. The wolf blinked at him like he was stupid, and went around behind him. Of course. How patronizing of me. They are not domestic dogs looking for treats. They are fully grown wolves, and they want to know my mood, social status and intentions. There are much better scent sources for that than my hand, which barely even has hair. He could hear the wolf sniffing around his armpits and groin area. It sat down beside the stairs. Whatever it had smelled satisfied it, apparently.

With nothing else to do, Itachi sat down in front of it. "Hello. Do you understand my language?"

The wolf twitched one ear. That might be wolf for Yes, or it might have heard a distant birdcall. I haven't studied wolf communication like I have human…

"I am a friend to Ruta," Itachi told it. "I came here to meet him. I think he and I have a lot in common."

The wolf snorted. It got up and circled him again. Itachi sat still, not sure what to do. Was this some kind of interaction, or was it smelling him for something? If so, for what? He had not the slightest clue what the wolf's intentions might be.

The wolf sat back down in front of him and snorted again. It looked at him for a while. Then, after chuffing to make sure it had his attention, it lowered its head up and down. The movement was awkward, but the intent unmistakable: it knew he could not understand it and was trying to communicate in a way he could understand. Itachi's eyes widened. These wolves have a theory of mind! That's long been thought to be a solely human attribute!

He eventually got around to wondering what it was nodding Yes to, after fifteen minutes of thinking about theory of mind. What did I say right before that? I can't remember. I told it… Ruta. I told it I have a lot in common with him. Was it agreeing with me? Itachi blushed as he realized yes, it probably had been. How had he missed that? "When you nodded, were you agreeing with me that I have a lot in common with Ruta?"

Another wolf beneath the porch snorted. It came out and licked the side of Itachi's head. It raised a paw and placed it on the top of his head. "Are you calling me a pup?" The wolf he could see lowered its head up and down again. "...I shall take it as a compliment on my adorableness."

Itachi ended up surrounded by three wolves, all of whom seemed amused by his very presence, though he did nothing but look around and wonder what he was supposed to do. Occasionally he asked them questions about how things were in the clan, and if hunting was good lately, and if they had met the vampires since the night of the howl. The black wolf twisted its head from side to side at the last one; all other questions were answered with a lick on the side of his face. Itachi was very confused. Is being called adorable a complement or an insult? I never figured that out.

The door above opened. Sakumo blinked down at him. "...Itachi?"

"Yes."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see Ruta, but I didn't want to interrupt your meeting."

"Why are the wolves treating you like a pup?"

"I told them I had a lot in common with Ruta, and they seem to agree. I think they think I'm cute?" Another lick on the head.

"...I see. I'll get Ruta for you."

Sakumo went back inside. A minute later, Ruta came out. He descended the stairs, maneuvered carefully between the wolves, and sat down near Itachi. "Hey! What'd you want to talk about?"

Itachi blinked. "I don't remember. Have you realized these wolves have theory of mind? Are they half human? If so, it would be hard to disprove the anthropocentric bias…"

.

A/N: Yayyyy! In Google Docs and Word, the ~ symbol is placed at the top of a letter space, like an apostrophe. But to convey a singsongy voice, it works much better in the middle of a letter space. So I'm glad this site's formatting changes its location! Yay! I have a particular scene in mind for one of my stories where I need to have a singsongy voice, so this is extremely useful knowledge.

Again, literally everything said here about seals, even the basic suppositions of how they work, come from another fic. The main character in that fic is a seal master, so the author put a lot of work into developing the logic of how seals work. Imma borrow it, 'cause this is fanfiction and no one can stop me.

Anywhoos, Happy Fall Back! This is a day to celebrate! Hope you all had a wonderful Halloween, and see you next week.