February
Tommy:
Love was in the air, at least at SHHS. The whole school was decorated for Valentine's Day, with
streamers, balloons, and posters announcing the Valentine's Day Dance. I had a big surprise
planned for Lil, and the whole gang was looking forward to the actual day, because it was falling on
a Saturday.
"So, you're going to..." I asked Chuck a week before everything happened.
"I'm sending Susan a candygram. They have this big old box of chocolate, which she'll like... and
some other stuff. She's going to be surprised. What about you?"
"I'm giving Lil a balloon bouquet, and some other stuff. I'm going to give it to her at the V day
dance."
"What's the other stuff?"
"You'll have to see at the dance, my friend." I patted Chuck and shouted a good-bye before running
to my next class. In French, all of my friends were waiting outside the door, along with some of our
other classmates.
"Um, isn't the point to actually enter the classroom?" I quipped.
"Look inside the window, but be discreet about it," Lil said.
I peeked and saw the teacher, Mrs Pieff, on her cell phone. She appeared to be in a heated
conversation. Every so often, she hit the riding crop across her leg. Every time she did so, I winced.
"Are we eventually going to go in?" I asked after backing away from the door.
"We were actually inside the room and she came in and kicked us out!" Kim laughed and then said,
"Does this mean that we can cut out?"
"Why don't we try it and see?" Phil suggested.
We started walking down the hall. "So, where are we heading?" I asked.
"Why don't we just go and sit in the car? We can listen to the radio." Lil started for the student
parking lot.
"Doesn't security patrol the lot?" Kim questioned.
"Only the teachers' lot. Besides, it's my car. What can they do?" We stepped out into the chilly air.
Although it hadn't snowed since New Year's Day, it was still very cold outside.
"We're going to turn on the heat, right?" Lil said, rubbing her hands together.
"Of course. Where's your coat?" I asked her.
"In my locker. You know, no wearing coats to class."
I shrugged out of my letterman jacket that I had received for track the previous year and wrapped it
around her shoulders. "Better?"
"Yeah, thanks."
As I unlocked the doors of my car, I saw Chuck approach his own car. "Hey," I yelled, "where are
you headed?"
"To get some coffee. My Calc teacher gave us a chance to do some independent study and my
brain needs caffeine to learn. Wanna come?"
"Sure." We all piled into Chuck's car.
"So, why are you guys out of class?" he asked us.
"Mrs Pieff's having a breakdown that involves self-flagellation." Lil explained.
"What?" Phil and I said together.
"The riding crop thing."
"Oh."
We pulled up into the coffee bar, where a few people were sitting around, drinking hot beverages.
The majority of the place was empty. "Okay. I know what I'm getting Angelica for Valentine's Day,"
Phil said unexpectedly while we were in line.
"What?" both Lil and Kim asked together.
"There's this company, Graham's Crackers, that sends out big gift baskets. They have a cookie
basket that you can put all kinds of stuff in. I know Angie likes chocolate chip cookies, so I picked
out this one that's called Choco-crazy."
"Isn't that romantic?" Lil teased her brother. I watched in amusement as he turned a bright red.
We ordered and sat down in a booth. "So, are any of you planning to go to the Valentine's dance?" I
asked.
"No," Chuck, Kim, and Phil said simutaneously.
"I mean, what's the point?" Chuck added. "It's stupid to go to one of the couple events of SHHS
stag."
"And Angie already said that she wasn't coming back home until spring break, and that's only to
pack for Cancun." Phil mused.
"Wait a minute? Angelica's going to Cancun for spring break? How'd she pull that off?" I wondered.
"Her parents said if she stayed on the dean's list, that she could go where she wanted for spring
break. I'm just jealous that her spring break's two weeks earlier than ours."
"Speaking of spring break, shouldn't we be planning for ours? I mean, this is the last year that we'll
all be able to go to the same place at the same time for a while." Kim looked thoughtfully at us.
"And we should do something memorable."
"When is our spring break, again?" Phil asked.
"First week of April."
"Oh, it'll be memorable, all right," I said as a plan began to form in my head.
Dil:
"So..."
"So..."
Dil and Joe looked at each other, then burst out laughing. At the moment, they were at Joe's house,
supposedly studying. Instead, they were watching a movie and snuggling on the couch.
"You go ahead," Joe said finally after dropping a light kiss on Dil's forehead.
"It's nothing really. It's just that, well, I'm telling my parents tonight."
"You're coming out tonight! And you're this calm? Man, before I told my parents, I was throwing up
for days."
"Well, I'm pretty sure I know how they'll react. Besides, we have been dating for almost two months.
It's not fair to you to have my mom say every time you call, 'So, is Joe seeing anyone? You and him
should double date sometime.' I wanna tell her to get a clue, but it's not her fault."
"Well, I did have something I wanted to ask you. Did you want to go to the Valentine's Day dance
with me?"
"Sure. You do realize though, that this will be the first dance I've actually attended."
"How did you always get out of them?"
"Most of the time my friends and I all skipped the dances, but once they started getting serious, I
would just stay home and make up some excuse about not liking organized school events."
"Well, I'm about to change your reputation in a big way, aren't I?"
Dil turned around and kissed Joe before he sat up. "You've already done that. Now, can we at least
look at the homework I have? I can do it later, but if I'm going to lie to my mom, I need to make it
sound believable."
Dinner that night at the Pickles' was a quiet affair. Dil was waiting until after dinner to tell his
parents, and Tommy was unusually quiet. Right after dinner, before anyone could get up from the
table, Dil said, "Mom, Dad? Could I talk to you guys?"
"Sure, you can talk to us anytime, Dil," his dad said. "What's up?"
"Um, do you want me to go?" Tommy asked, starting to stand.
"No, you need to hear this too," Dil said. "I really don't know how to do this except to say it. You
know how you're always asking me why I never go out with Meagan, or Lori, or Tara, even though
they call here all the time? It's because I like someone else. And um, they like me back. We've
been going out for almost two months now."
Tommy sat there with a growing expression of understanding on his face. "It's Joe, isn't it." It was
not a question.
Dil and his parents turned to face Tommy. The understanding on his face turned to denial. "No," he
mumbled. "There's no way my brother's gay." He pushed his chair from the table and ran out of the
kitchen.
"Is this true, Dil?" his mother asked softly.
"Yeah, it is," he replied. "I tried denying it, but I've known for a while."
"Are you sure?" his dad asked.
"Yeah, I am."
"Well, you know this doesn't change anything. We still love you." His mother got up and hugged
him. His father stood up too, and Dil found himself in the middle of a three-way hug.
"Um, if you'll excuse me, I wanna go talk to Tommy," Dil said. He extracted himself from his
parents and started walking up the stairs, smiling slightly as he heard his mother say "Lipshitz."
He walked into the bedroom he and Tommy shared. Tommy was lying on his bed, hands behind his
head.
"Um, did you want to be alone?" Dil asked awkwardly.
"Yes," was the clipped answer.
"Okay," Dil muttered under his breath, as he exited the room and headed for his mom's office. He
went to her computer and logged on to the Internet. He went to the chat room that he and his
friends used, The Gang of SHHS 1002. As usual, Kim and Lil were in there, talking about what they
were getting their boyfriends for Valentine's Day. He was tempted to join in, but decided to just send
Joe an e-mail.
To: Joecool526swiftnet.com
From: Dillpickles1222swiftnet.com
Re: the big speech
Well, Joe, I told them. My parents were cool, but Tommy is freezing me out. He'll come around,
though. Looking forward to the dance. Your'e not going to make me wear a corsage, are you?
Dil
It took a few minutes to get a response.
To: Dillpickles1222swiftnet.com
From: Joecool526swiftnet.com
Re: Yay! Boo!
Was glad to hear that your parents were cool. Sorry to hear that Tommy wasn't. Anyway, if you're
still online, we can chat in my family room, All's Wellton. My name's Joecoolboxer.
-Joe
Dil immeadiately went over to the chat room.
Joecoolboxer: Hey, you made it. Sure you're ok?
Dillpickles: Fine. Just a little freaked. Never expected Tommy to react badly.
Joecoolboxer: How bad is it?
Dillpickles: Right now he's giving me the freeze out. Tommy can hold a grudge for years, so I'm a
little worried that he still won't be talking to me before he leaves for college.
Joecoolboxer: So, still wanna go to the dance?
Dillpickles: Of course. Can't ditch me.
Joecoolboxer: Coolness. Gotta run- still have homework.
Dillpickles: I lov delete
Dillpickles: Kay. See you tomorrow.
Dil got off the computer and wandered back into his bedroom. Tommy was still on the bed, but now
he appeared to be asleep intead of just sulking. Dil sighed as he changed into a pair of sweatpants
and climbed into bed.
Chuck:
"Chuck! Can we talk to you for a second?"
Chuck glanced up from his homework, surprised. It was already 11pm, and he was supposed to be
asleep. "Um, sure. Come in."
His door opened and his parents entered his room. "We're sorry to disturb you so late. But we were
discussing something and we wanted to let you know what we talked about." His father came and
sat on his bed.
"Basically, we talked about your going to SFAA," his mom began. "And I decided that I was being
too hard on you. I realize that art is a passion for you, and since you have the opportunity to hone
that skill, you will be successful."
"Wow, um, I don't know what to say," Chuck said, then went over to both of them and hugged them
tightly. "Thanks. I'm glad that I have your approval."
"You always do, son," his father said.
After they left his room, Chuck started on another drawing. This one was a family portrait. For the
first time in months, the people in the picture were smiling.
Kim:
As we pulled up to the school, I could see Tommy's car ahead of us. We usually all walked into the
school together, so I was surprised to see Tommy dash into the school without a backward glance.
Chuck and I walked over to Phil, Lil, and Dil. "Anyone know what's up with Tommy?" I asked.
"He was quiet all morning," Lil said. "But no, I don't know why."
"I do," spoke up Dil. He sighed heavily, as if the weight of the world was all on his shoulders. "I
didn't want to have to tell you guys like this, but... I came out to my parents last night."
For a second, you could hear a pin drop. Then four people shouted, "What!"
"Um, okay," I said, looking at Dil closely. He was blushing, uncharacteristically. "Do you want to
give us some more details?"
"There's really not much to tell. I'm seeing Joe."
"Joe? As in, dude we all know Joe?" Chuck looked shocked.
"The one and the same," Dil replied.
"Oh, okay." Lil glanced at her watch. "Is it me or is the bell late?"
"Is that all you're going to say?" Dil asked.
"Hey, I'm cool. If your'e happy, and I don't have to beat up Joe, then it's all good." Phil joked.
"Same here," I said. "Your'e our friend, Dil. We support you."
"Tommy's my brother, and look how he reacted," Dil pointed out.
"He'll come around," Lil said confidently.
"We'll make sure of that," Chuck said. As Dil opened his mouth to say more, the bell finally rang.
"We can talk more after school, okay?" Chuck ran ahead of us.
As Dil moved off to go to his homeroom, I said, "That was not excactly what I was expecting Dil to
tell us. But... he seems more comfortable with himself."
"True." Lil put on her 'thoughtful' face. She threw her books in her locker. "Now, we just have to talk
to Tommy and get him to come around."
Phil:
As we entered homeroom, Tommy was already sitting there, staring out of the window. I took a seat
in front of him. "Hey, Tommy!" I said to get his attention.
He looked at me, clearly startled. "Oh, hey Phil."
"Feel like talking?" I asked him bluntly.
"About Dil? What's there to say?" He threw his hands up in a gesture of futility. "It's not like he'll
listen to me, anyway."
"What do you want him to listen to you about?"
Tommy looked me dead in the eyes, and I could see the storms brewing in his normally placid
eyes. "It's just that, Dil's not even old enough to drive a car yet. He's my little brother. And I don't
want to see him make a mistake so early."
"Do you think homosexuality is wrong?" I asked.
He started a little. "Not really. Guess I never really thought about it. But that's not the point! The
point is, this guy's supposed to be Dil's best friend. He's our age. And all of the sudden, Dil's gay
and in love with him!"
"Dil loves this guy?" 'Man,' I was thinking, 'Dil moves fast.'
"Well, he hasn't said it in so many words, at least to me, but it has to be serious for him to tell
Mom and Dad."
"Okay, I can buy that. Tommy, look. Dil might be young, but he has a good head on his shoulders.
And he's only a year younger than Joe. It's not like they're joining NAMBLA."
"Joining what?"
"NAMBLA- the National Assciation of Man-Boy Love of America."
Tommy made a face. "And you know about this how?"
"Well, I was online, and...." I stopped and blushed. "That's not the point! The point is that Dil is your
only brother, and he needs your support, now more than ever."
Tommy looked at me levelly. "Well, he's going to have to wait a while for that."
Lil:
The day of the dance arrived. Kim was over my house, helping me get ready. "And you're sure that
you're not going?" I asked her again. "What if... my dress rips in the back?"
"That's why I'm putting safety pins in your clutch," Kim replied patiently. "And no, I'm going to stay
with your brother and mine for our 'My Life Sucks Because my Partner's Away at College' party.
Movies, popcorn, long sobbing calls to our various loves- it's my dream come true."
"Thanks again for coming over." I told her, as I pinned my hair into place. "Are you driving to your
house?"
"Nope," Kim replied cheerfully. "Chuck dropped me off and I'm riding home with Phil."
I stood up and slipped into my dress. Fitting with the Valentines' theme, it was red and pink, and
had little hearts on the trim. I secretly thought that it looked like a walking Valentine, but since
Tommy had bought the matching cummerbund, I couldn't take it back. As I was looking in the mirror
critically, I wondered aloud, "I wonder why you and Phil never got together."
Kim made an exaggerated face. "Ew, Lil, if you're like my sister, then he's my brother. And before
you ask, Tommy's like my brother-in-law. No offense to either one."
"None taken." I stepped into my shoes and admired the two inches that they gave me. "Okay. I
think I'm ready. Tommy's probably downstairs, about to kill me."
Kim and I walked down the stairs together. The guys were in the den, as usual. Phil was playing
some video game and Tommy was cheering him on. "Um, Tommy?"
Tommy swung around. "Wow Lilly, you really clean up nice."
"Good to know." I smirked. "Well, ready to roll?"
"Okay. Bye Kim, bye Phil." Tommy waved as we walked out the door.
"Bye, you crazy kids!" Phil called out after us.
We laughed as we got into the car.
At the dance, the people were already on the dance floor, and a fast song was playing. Tommy and
I took to the floor. We can both dance, because we grew up with parents who liked taking their
children to dances, so we learned early.
We stayed on the floor for about five songs before Tommy stopped and fanned himself. "Why don't
we get some punch, Lilly?"
"Sure." We moved to the refreshments table and drank thirstily. After that, we greeted some of our
classmates before Tommy tugged my hand.
"Can we go outside for a sec?"
I looked into Tommy's dancing eyes and said, "Okay." We went into the parking lot. I shivered as a
cold wind swept across the back of my neck. "Whatever this is, can it be kinda fast? I'm freezing!" I
smiled to take the sting out of the words.
Tommy smiled nervously. "Okay, here goes." He pulled a small jewelery box out of his jacket
pocket. He opened the box to reveal a ring. For a split second, I thought he was going to propose,
but then he said in an obviously rehearsed speech, "This is a promise ring, and I'd be honored if
you'll wear it."
"Of course I'll wear it!" I slipped it onto my right hand and then hugged Tommy hard. "Thank you!"
"You're welcome." As we stood there, a man came walking up to us.
"Are you Thomas Pickles?" the man asked Tommy.
I saw Tommy wince slightly before he nodded his head.
"Sign here, please," The man pulled out a clipboard, which Tommy signed. The man handed
Tommy a huge bag, which he uncovered with a flourish. "Here is your balloon bouquet! Enjoy."
"Thank you," Tommy said politely. The man left as we admired the balloons and what things they
had inside.
"You really went all out! Thanks again!" I said happily, after we stuffed the balloons in the car.
"Like you didn't! I love the cds and the cookies. And you made them yourself!"
"Yeah, me and Betty Crocker," I said dryly. Even though my cooking skills had gotten better, they
still were below average, to me anyway.
We went back inside the school to find the gym packed out. We went back on the dance floor for a
slow song. I laid my head on Tommy's shoulder and closed my eyes. For the moment, I was in
heaven.
I felt Tommy come to a dead stop. "Why aren't we dancing? The song's still going!" I asked, still
with my eyes closed.
"Look at the doorway," Tommy said in an oddly strained voice. I opened my eyes to see Dil and Joe
in the doorway, dressed in matching tuxes, and holding hands. I took in both the happy expression
on their faces and some of the shocked ones around us.
"How could they!" Tommy sputtered. Before I could stop him, he ran out of the gym. I rolled my
eyes heavenward and followed him at a more leisurely pace.
At the door, where Dil and Joe were still standing, I paused. "You guys look good!" I said
admiringly.
"So do you, Lil," Joe replied.
Dil looked over at his date. "Hey, I need to talk to Lil for a second. Is that okay?"
"Sure. I'll go grab us some punch, okay?" Joe released Dil's hand and moved torwards the
refreshment table, ignoring the stares he was receiving.
"So, what did you need, short stuff?" I asked Dil, using an old nickname.
"I really want Tommy to be able to accept this. I mean, it's very important to me. Why can't Tommy
see that?"
"I know, but you and I both know how stubborn he is. I can't make him do anything he doesn't want
to."
Dil sighed. "It's just that, well, I love Joe," he blurted.
"Really!"
"Yeah. I have for a long time now. And I'm happier than I've ever been. If my own brother would come
around, that would...."
"I know." I patted Dil's arm. "I will talk to him. Now, I've got to go before he leaves me. Have fun."
For the first time, Dil looked around and noticed all of the stares that people were directing his way.
He gulped. "Um, I'll try?"
"That's the spirit," I quipped as I walked out to the parking lot. As expected, Tommy was sitting in
the car, with the motor running. I got in and barely fastened my seatbelt before Tommy took off.
"Slow down! Are you trying to make me wet myself?"
"Oh, sorry Lilly." He slowed down about ten miles.
"Are you going to talk about what happened back there?" I asked after we had ridden a while in
silence.
"What's there to say?"
"How about, that's your brother, who's dying for you to at least act like you care about him. He's
torn up about you!"
"First Phil, and then you! Do you guys think that I'm some kind of bigot?"
"No, and that's what's so bad! We know how cool you are. Don't you think that's why Dil was
unafraid to tell you? Because he knew that how bad anyone else reacted, you would be there for
him." I half turned in my seat to face Tommy. "Please, I'm not acting you to accept everything
overnight. But give Dil some support."
"I'll try." He looked at me sharply. "But don't expect miracles, okay?"
"I won't. Now that the serious talk's done, and we ditched the dance, do you want to make out at
Lover's Road?"
He laughed, relieved. "Sounds like a plan."
Dil:
Dil shuffled through his closet, increasingly irritated. He was going out to dinner with Joe, and all
Joe would say was that it was a fancy place, so "your jeans are not going to cut it, Dillon." So far,
Dil had found a pair of flat front khakis, but no kind of sweater or anything to match.
Tommy entered the room, throwing his jacket on the desk. "Whatcha looking for?"
"A damn sweater. And I can't find one to match these pants! Why couldn't I been born with your
fashion sense?"
"Because no one has my fashion sense," Tommy grinned. He went to his own closet and pulled out
a ribbed brown sweater. "Here, try this. The sleeves are too long for me."
Dil slipped into the sweater and found that it fit perfectly. "Hey, thanks man."
"No prob."
As Dil left the room, he smiled. Tommy and his relationship was still strained, but both of them were
making efforts to reach out to each other.
As he got downstairs, Dil heard Joe's horn blowing. He went outside and got into the car. "Hey."
"Hey. Nice sweater." Joe cranked up the stereo as they drove off.
"Thanks. Tommy picked it out for me. Think he's coming around, and I'm glad, because I want him
to accept the person I love."
As the car stopped at a red light, Joe looked over at Dil. "You love me?"
"Of course! Think I date you for your money?"
Joe laughed. "Well, I love you! Thank we should kiss now?"
Dil, while carefully keeping an eye on the light, kissed Joe on the cheek. "And there's more where
that carme from."
They both laughed as the light changed and they sped off.