Chapter 20: Doomed From The Start

A/N:  Hmmm… sorry it's been so long guys, the end of soph year and the beginning of jr year have been really tough… Anyway, this is my last pre-written chapter, so from here on out, all suggestions would be VERY much appreciated… But I DO have a few ideas… Anyway, here's a Nera, Lily and Lewen chapter.  In other words, a chapter all about doomed love! Woot! Woah, and I just realized that I have about 10 characters that I left hanging several chapters back *scurries away to write about them*

Review Replies:

Lyra of Queenscove and Arcander- Thanks so much for your reviews! It's good to know that at least a few people out there read this and can understand it ;) My ideas are a little…. Disjointed at times..

Lady Rhian- So, what'd ya think? I'm glad to see that I can keep fans despite my lack of updates… urgh…

Lisa- Here you go darlin'! I finally got one up for ya… Make sure to let me know by review or email if you have ANY ideas for the next few chapters… I NEED HELP! EEK!

          (A/N: Okay, we're going back FORWARD in time, to the time of the sequence with Jasson and Kendi, and that's where we'll stay until further notice.)

          Lily sat in the main hall of the Dunlath castle, and shivered.  She wasn't going to come, but Maura had insisted.  With a resigned air, the young woman had followed her hostess to the main hall to hear the new bard.  She sat now, waiting for him to begin, her thoughts drifting to Haalen.

          "I'm going to sing one of my favorite ballads for you all, tonight.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do." The bard began, and Lily faintly recognized the melody.

"Columns of Fire haunted his soul of ice,

And he followed his heart towards

The Beacon on the Horizon.

She, driven by duty, pressed on to their center

Towards their meeting place.

And when they met, their souls combined

Recognition a shock through their souls.

How were they to know the sacrifice?

How were they to know how much

Desolation their love would bring?

All they knew was they could never let go,

They could never be apart,

for as long as they both would live.

But it wasn't meant to be perfect,

For Fire and Ice never should combine.

And so they changed their world, all for the worse,

And in the end came together

To banish their loving spirits forever

To banish the Immortals forever

To save their beloved world."

          Silent tears began to course down Lily's face as she heard the ballad Haalen had told her of at their parting.   This was the ballad of the Ice Prince and his Fire Princess, and it was the ballad of her own love.  Driven by tragedy, pain, and the knowledge that they must use their love only to help save their world.  It made her long to see Haalen's face, with his icy eyes and prominent nose, and the mouth she loved so much.

          "Haalen… come back to me…"

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(okay, I realized that I put the overdose scene BEFORE Zara helps Nera, and I need to clear that up.  That was actually AFTER the Zara sequence, and about three or four days before this one… silly editing errors :))

          Nera chatted happily with an acquaintance, and traced the paths she knew so well.  Timos had been sent from court in disgrace the day before, and Nera couldn't have been happier.  Today, she walked the paths of the Queen's Garden with her friend.  The Queens's Garden had been used as a rendevous place for high courtesans of different factions and their Court patrons.  However, with the reign of Roald's grandmother, Lianne, the courtesans had been banned from Court, and this garden, now mostly unused, had been remade to be a haven for the Queen and her ladies.  Nera waved goodbye to her friend, and continued to walk the familiar paths, deep in thought.  She had just turned a corner when she heard a rustling.  She turned to the bushes, and saw a familiar back buried among the branches.  Groaning, she pulled on the back of the figure's tunic.

          "Lewen, what have I told you about…" Nera gasped.  That was no noble lady trying to sink deeper into the bushes.  If she wasn't mistaken, that was the young Sir Jinden, with lips that were quite bruised from passionate kisses.  Nera groaned again.

          "Lewen, why didn't you tell me! Jinden, I'd suggest you go back to your rooms for the moment.  The Crown Prince and I need to talk." Her subtle stress of the title caused a strange look to pass over Lewen's face.  She took Lewen's bandaged wrist, then released him and took his elbow instead and dragged him over to a secluded bench.

          "Lewen, I thought we were friends! Why haven't you told me that you don't like women?"

          "It's not that I don't like women, per say… It's more that I like men more…" Nera contained the urge to slap him.

          "Lewen, you're the Crown Prince! You have to marry! You have to produce heirs… Spending all of your life on sexual escapades with men is not appropriate.  You know that, I know that.  You can't let your lovers think that you can acknowledge them, and you can't have real relationships with them.  Your great-great-great grandfather was killed by his own wife because he indulged his male lovers and highly favored them openly.  You can't do that." He looked very dejected.  She understood how he must feel.

          "I know that.  I'm not stupid. I just... I like women well enough, and I'll be able to produce heirs, but I haven't yet found a woman I could be happy being married to.  I just can't see myself marrying any of them.  Maybe I should abdicate to Ames."

          "You know that's not fair.  Ames is going through his own thing, whatever that could be.  And he's not made to rule.  He wouldn't make a good King.  It wouldn't be fair to him or to your country.  I know you know that." He nodded sadly.

          "I know.  I just wish there was some way I could actually be happy."  Nera looked at him in pity, then brightened.

          "I've got it, Lewen! You and I could get married! Your parents wouldn't object, and I don't mind, as long as you don't begrudge my occasional affairs on the side.  You already said you can produce heirs, so we will. I mean, it's been done before.  At least we'd be friends." Nera wasn't really as happy about the idea as she sounded, and she was hoping desperately that he would discard it.  However, Lewen just nodded.

          "Well, we should at least court, then get engaged.  If we have to, we could always cut it off.  It just might work Nera! Thank you so much! You don't know how much this means to me!" She knew, oh she knew.  She was giving up any chance at a happy, loving marriage to make her future King and husband happy.  She was giving up everything she hoped for, all for him.  That was one thing he could never, ever know.
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A/N: Still a little short, but intense… No?

Next time: Who the hell knows? I sure don't… Hopefully inspiration will strike soon *bites nails and thinks* *inspiration taps at the door* okay, well, I'm off to invite in my muse ;)

Note: I just wanted to say a little something… I remember Sept 11th well, as it was my first day of freshman year at boarding high school, and it seems amazing to me that it's 2 years later.  I  personally have not agreed with the ways that some things have been done since then, but I do not necessarily argue that they needed to be done.  Anyway, I'm not here to discuss political theory (as much as I'd like to) but to just say thanks to all of the people who helped with the 9/11 disaster and all of the sniper shootings.  I have a great many friends and family that could have been dead if not for these people. 

And goodbye to Johnny Cash.  I was not a huge fan, but he affected all music in some way, and his loss was surprising and sad to everyone I know.