Harry seemed wan as he stepped through the door into the house. He was
tense, which Neville could see easily.
And which Ron and Hermione probably didn't see, since they went charging at him the moment the door was opened.
He was pressed into Hermione's arms so hard his face went red, and she babbled excitedly.
Neville kept his distance, knowing the three were better friends than he was, and he ought to give them time.
He watched, though, and saw Ron's face go soft and sweet and caring as Harry turned to him.
He saw the awkward moment between the two, broken when Hermione pushed Harry into Ron for a hug and told them to stop being such boys about everything.
He wondered if he should go ahead and pack his things and get them out of Ron's room.
"Hello, Harry," he greeted with a smile when Harry noticed him over Ron's shoulder.
Harry smiled at him oddly, pulling away from Ron. "Neville. What are you doing here?"
Neville shrugged. "Long story."
"Someone's trying to kill him," Ron spoke up.
"Okay, short story." Neville blushed. "It was just the one time, but my Gran."
Harry nodded. "I'm glad you're safe." He turned away from them and looked slowly around at the house. His forced smile faded and he sighed. "I wish we could have gone anywhere but here."
"This is the safest place right now, Harry." Hermione replied gently. She looked immediately concerned.
"I know, but."
Ron swallowed, went up behind Harry and touched his shoulder. "I guess there's a lot of Sirius here, huh?"
Harry jerked away from his grasp. "Yes. There is."
Ron stepped back instantly, his face falling. Guilt clouded his eyes.
Neville frowned at that, looking between Harry and Ron.
An awkward silence was broken by Mrs. Weasley, who came out from the kitchen with a towel in her hand. "Harry!" She beamed at him and approached with arms wide open. "It's so good to have you here with us, dear."
Harry hugged her stiffly, but managed a smile when she pulled back. "Thanks, Mrs. Weasley. Moody said I wouldn't be here so soon but you practically ordered Dumbledore to let me come."
She laughed. "Oh, nonsense. A person like me order Dumbledore to do something? Ridiculous."
But Harry grinned at that almost sincerely. Neville understood why - Mrs. Weasley, when she was determined, could probably have ordered You-Know-Who to take anger management classes if she set her mind to it.
"I just couldn't have you on your own this summer, Harry. Not after the horrid time you had last year."
Just like that Harry was tense again. "Well. Thank you. I'd like to go up to my room, if you don't mind. It was a long flight."
"Of course!" Mrs. Weasley turned and caught sight of Neville. She hesitated, remembering that Neville was now in Ron's room where Harry would have stayed. "Oh. Neville, dear, would you mind very much if-"
"Mum." Ron stepped forward at that, looking determined.
But before he could say anything, Harry cleared his throat softly, his eyes going to Ron. "I was wondering, if it wasn't too much trouble, if I could maybe stay by myself. For now."
Ron stared at him unhappily.
Harry looked away from him. "I would feel more comfortable."
"Of course!" Mrs. Weasley looked concerned, but started up the stairs. "You remember how large this house is. There are more than enough rooms."
Harry followed her without a look back.
There was an uncomfortable silence. Neville frowned at the troubled look on Ron's face.
Hermione went to Ron and touched his arm. "He still needs time. You understand that, right?"
"Of course I do." Ron's voice was oddly clipped. "I'm not." He trailed off, looking up the stairs, then shook his head and moved towards the kitchen. "It doesn't matter."
Neville stopped Hermione from following him. "Can I.?"
She nodded gratefully. "I'll just go make sure Harry gets settled."
Neville went to the kitchen, wondering what on earth he was planning to say. He was secretly glad Harry was still being so distant - he hadn't wanted to leave Ron and go back to sleeping in a quiet, lonely room. Still, he couldn't very well say that, could he?
He wondered what Ron had been about to say to his mother when Harry had stopped him.
Ron was sitting on the counter, long legs dangling. He smiled sheepishly at Neville when he came in. "I'm making a mess of things already."
"You? Of course you're not." Neville went up to him in surprise. "Why would you think that?"
Ron shrugged, swinging his legs absently. "I'm very selfish, you know. I'm a horrible person sometimes."
"Ron!"
He smiled. "I am. I was last year. So worried about myself and playing Quidditch when there were so many other things going on that I should have been worried about."
"Ron, you-"
Ron shook his head. "Look, I.I wasn't even that glad to hear Harry was coming. Isn't that horrible?"
Neville's brow furrowed. Harry and Ron were best friends. No one could touch that, and everyone else at Hogwarts knew it. "You weren't?"
"No. Because he reminds me of how selfish I am. If I was a real friend I would know what to do for him, wouldn't I? I would be able to say something to make him feel better about everything. I would help. That's what friends do. But I don't know how. He deserves someone better than me."
"Ron! That's ridiculous. Everyone knows how good a friend you've been to him."
"Really? What about fourth year? During the Triwizard Tournament?"
Neville remembered clearly the times Ron and Harry had been fighting their fourth year. They had both talked to him a lot more during those weeks, he remembered somewhat wryly.
"So you had a fight. Friends fight."
"No. It wasn't a fight. It was me being stupid and accusing him of something he didn't do, and then not helping him at all, even when his life was in danger. What kind of person does that make me? He knows, too," Ron went on without pausing to let Neville answer. "He knows how rotten I am. He knew last year. Things weren't the same. And he probably wants nothing to do with me now. You heard what he said."
"He said he wanted to be alone. He didn't say it was because he didn't want to be with you."
"But he wouldn't if I was a better friend."
Neville shook his head unhappily. "That's stupid."
Ron frowned.
Neville went to the counter, standing right in front of Ron. "Listen. I've been sharing a room with you two for five years now. Everyone in our year knows that if we mess with Harry, we mess with you, too. We know you and Hermione have done really, really brave things to help Harry. We all knew you were fighting, yeah, but we also knew that as soon as Harry got into danger, you'd be there. And you were. Right after that first task with the dragons, you made up with him, and you helped him."
"But-"
"Ron. Everyone in our school who knows you two knows you're as good a friend as anyone could be. You're better to Harry than any friend any of us have ever had, I'll bet you that much. If you can't see that, I'm sorry. If Harry can't see it." Neville glared back towards the living room where Harry had brushed Ron off. ".and I don't think he can see it.then he's just stupid."
"Harry isn't-"
Neville held up a hand, cutting of Ron's immediate, heated denial. "He is about some things."
Ron frowned at him. "He's been through so much."
Neville nodded easily. "Yes, he has. So it's sad he doesn't realize who his friends are, otherwise he might be having an easier go of it right now, instead of wanting to suffer by himself."
Ron studied him hard, as if looking for insincerity.
Neville meant every word of it, though, so he returned Ron's measuring gaze evenly.
Ron smiled finally, a faint lifting of his lips. "I didn't realize you paid such close attention."
Neville shrugged, flushing slightly. "You're my friends. Both of you."
Ron reached out a hand, shyness in his eyes. "Just friends?"
Neville smiled and took Ron's hand in his own more than happily. He answered Ron's question with a look. It would have been a kiss, but Ron was too high sitting up there on the counter. Instead he just smiled and tugged Ron's hand gently and felt himself turning pink.
Ron relaxed, his apprehension chased away. For now, anyway. "In a way I'm glad nothing's changed. I mean, I was going to ask mum if we could all three stay in a room. There are a lot of rooms big enough in this house. But this is good, too."
Neville relaxed at that, letting go of some tension he hadn't realized he'd been carrying around. "Yeah. I always knew Harry would take my place when he got here. I'm glad I was wrong."
"Me, too." Ron smiled, but it faded, and that apprehension came back.
Neville could read his mind easily - Ron was worried that wanting to stay with Neville made him even worse of a friend to Harry.
Neville sighed to himself. He had been worried about Harry coming, because he thought that once he was there that Ron would go back to being his best friend and forget all about Neville.
Now he was still worried, for a completely different reason. He hadn't realized that Harry made Ron feel so unbalanced lately.
He just hoped they worked out whatever was wrong between them. Even if it meant Ron leaving Neville to himself while he went off with Harry. That was better than seeing the guilty self-loathing in Ron's eyes.
***
Morning came, bright and new and sparkling and all that other stuff.
Ron made a face against the light of the sun and flipped over onto his side, away from the window.
Which left him staring right at Neville.
Neville was still sound asleep, a hand flopped over his head, the other on his stomach. The covers were down around his knees, and he was snoring quietly.
Ron grinned into his pillow, watching quietly.
Neville Longbottom. It was really strange to think of him as the same boy Ron had first met years ago.
Not much had changed about him, though, now that Ron thought about it. He looked the same, pretty much. He was still quiet, still klutzy and shy. Still had a patchy memory that made tests a pain for him in school.
But he seemed so different now, all of the sudden.
It was probably Ron who saw him differently now. Ron who changed.
He had changed a lot the last year, he thought. This was probably the one change that was for the better. That he could open his eyes to Neville and see more than what he first thought Neville was.
Look at what that one change had brought him.
Neville was a really, really good person. A lot stronger than Ron (or anyone) had ever given him credit for. And nice.
He made Ron feel good. Talking to Neville was different from talking to anyone else in Ron's life, and he wasn't sure why.
He knew he liked it, though, and he wanted to keep talking to Neville. Keep being there with Neville.
There was a lot of things he wanted to do with Neville. And tops on the list was maybe sharing more of those shy little kisses with him.
Those were really nice.
He sighed and sat himself up slowly, stretching his long arms over his head.
Harry, he remembered suddenly.
Harry was there.
Apprehension immediately bubbled around in his stomach, and Ron angrily forced it down. Harry was his best friend. Harry had gone through way too much the last year, and Ron was going to be there for him. Because that's what friends did for each other.
Maybe Ron wasn't much good at finding the right things to say or do, but he would be there for Harry no matter what.
And it was time to prove that. He had left Harry alone the day before after he arrived, and that was too long as it was.
He climbed out of bed, determined, and threw on a t-shirt and some jeans. He dressed quietly, keeping one eye on Neville.
And then he headed for the door.
His determination got sidetracked a bit, though, when Neville shifted a bit and mumbled something in his sleep.
Ron froze, waiting. A minute later he relaxed; these weren't nightmare mumbles. Just regular sleepy sounds.
He went to Neville's side, just in case, and sat gingerly on the edge of his bed. He would be there for Harry, yeah, but he wasn't about to leave Neville on his own either.
Neville murmured again, scrunching his nose and furrowing his brow before everything smoothed out again.
Ron grinned. Neville was just cute sometimes.
He reached out with light fingers and touched the hand Neville had resting on his stomach. He let his index finger trace over knuckles and veins along the back of Neville's hand lightly.
Neville sighed and his hand twitched a bit.
Ron's chest filled with warmth. He really liked Neville. A lot. It was strange, maybe, but it was real.
Still. He had to make sure Harry was okay. So he stood, reluctantly, and left Neville to his dreams.
***
Harry was standing in the kitchen staring out the window when Ron found him.
"Hey," Ron said quietly to announce his presence.
Harry jumped slightly, turning to him. "Ron."
Ron smiled nervously. "Sleep okay?"
Harry frowned. "Not really. I don't like it here."
"Oh." There had to be something to say to that. Something to soothe Harry's feelings. Anything at all.
But Ron's mind was blank. "Um. Maybe Dumbledore will let us go to Hogwarts early. Or.something."
Harry looked back at the window. "It doesn't really matter, does it? Running away from things doesn't make them go away."
"No." Ron moved in slowly. "But.I mean, so maybe you shouldn't run."
Harry laughed darkly. "I'm here in his house. How is that running?"
"He.Sirius wouldn't want you to be unhappy, Harry."
Harry turned to him, glaring. "How do you know? Maybe that's exactly what he would have wanted."
Ron stared at him. "Harry, come on."
"Oh, Ron. You're just.if all you want is to offer me the same stupid comforts everyone else has, than just go away. I know he's gone, I know someday I'll feel better. I know he would want me to be happy. I know all that, and it doesn't help!"
"I'm sorry," Ron said quickly. "I don't know what to say."
Harry sighed. "I guess you wouldn't. Who have you ever lost?"
Ron winced. You, he wanted to say. But he didn't think that would help. "I'm sorry," he said again.
Harry looked at him for a minute, then turned back to the window.
Ron watched him silently. His determination was starting to crumble.
He should have known better. What made him think he would suddenly be able to help, when he hadn't helped once the whole year? Harry was right; who had he ever lost? He had his whole happy family right there with him.
He sat down at the table, sighing in defeat. So he couldn't help - he could still be there. At least Harry would know he wasn't alone, despite losing so many people.
The room was silent for a while, and Ron watched Harry's back.
He cleared his throat finally and spoke. "So maybe I can't think of anything to say. If you want me to just listen or something, I can do that."
Harry glanced back over his shoulder. "What is it you think I need you to listen to?"
Ron grimaced and looked away. "I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what to do. I wish I did."
"So why bother trying?"
"You're my friend!"
Harry turned to him fully. "Ron. I'm not feeling very good lately, and the last thing I need, honestly, is you hovering because you feel bad. I can't deal with your feelings when I can't even handle my own, okay?"
Ron swallowed. "So.you want me to.?"
Harry's glare softened. He hesitated, then lowered his eyes. "Just give me some time to myself, okay?"
Ron nodded, his throat feeling too clogged to speak around. He blinked at Harry, then stood up and moved out of the kitchen without a word.
He should have known better than to even try.
***
Neville watched in surprise as Ron walked right past him without even seeing him there.
Ron headed up the stairs, his eyes on the ground, his skin pale. His shoulders were slumped.
Neville looked after him, then turned to the door he had just come out of.
He moved quietly and opened the door a crack, peering in.
Yes, just as he figured. Harry stood there, all stiff, looking out a window.
Neville frowned and shut the door again.
And which Ron and Hermione probably didn't see, since they went charging at him the moment the door was opened.
He was pressed into Hermione's arms so hard his face went red, and she babbled excitedly.
Neville kept his distance, knowing the three were better friends than he was, and he ought to give them time.
He watched, though, and saw Ron's face go soft and sweet and caring as Harry turned to him.
He saw the awkward moment between the two, broken when Hermione pushed Harry into Ron for a hug and told them to stop being such boys about everything.
He wondered if he should go ahead and pack his things and get them out of Ron's room.
"Hello, Harry," he greeted with a smile when Harry noticed him over Ron's shoulder.
Harry smiled at him oddly, pulling away from Ron. "Neville. What are you doing here?"
Neville shrugged. "Long story."
"Someone's trying to kill him," Ron spoke up.
"Okay, short story." Neville blushed. "It was just the one time, but my Gran."
Harry nodded. "I'm glad you're safe." He turned away from them and looked slowly around at the house. His forced smile faded and he sighed. "I wish we could have gone anywhere but here."
"This is the safest place right now, Harry." Hermione replied gently. She looked immediately concerned.
"I know, but."
Ron swallowed, went up behind Harry and touched his shoulder. "I guess there's a lot of Sirius here, huh?"
Harry jerked away from his grasp. "Yes. There is."
Ron stepped back instantly, his face falling. Guilt clouded his eyes.
Neville frowned at that, looking between Harry and Ron.
An awkward silence was broken by Mrs. Weasley, who came out from the kitchen with a towel in her hand. "Harry!" She beamed at him and approached with arms wide open. "It's so good to have you here with us, dear."
Harry hugged her stiffly, but managed a smile when she pulled back. "Thanks, Mrs. Weasley. Moody said I wouldn't be here so soon but you practically ordered Dumbledore to let me come."
She laughed. "Oh, nonsense. A person like me order Dumbledore to do something? Ridiculous."
But Harry grinned at that almost sincerely. Neville understood why - Mrs. Weasley, when she was determined, could probably have ordered You-Know-Who to take anger management classes if she set her mind to it.
"I just couldn't have you on your own this summer, Harry. Not after the horrid time you had last year."
Just like that Harry was tense again. "Well. Thank you. I'd like to go up to my room, if you don't mind. It was a long flight."
"Of course!" Mrs. Weasley turned and caught sight of Neville. She hesitated, remembering that Neville was now in Ron's room where Harry would have stayed. "Oh. Neville, dear, would you mind very much if-"
"Mum." Ron stepped forward at that, looking determined.
But before he could say anything, Harry cleared his throat softly, his eyes going to Ron. "I was wondering, if it wasn't too much trouble, if I could maybe stay by myself. For now."
Ron stared at him unhappily.
Harry looked away from him. "I would feel more comfortable."
"Of course!" Mrs. Weasley looked concerned, but started up the stairs. "You remember how large this house is. There are more than enough rooms."
Harry followed her without a look back.
There was an uncomfortable silence. Neville frowned at the troubled look on Ron's face.
Hermione went to Ron and touched his arm. "He still needs time. You understand that, right?"
"Of course I do." Ron's voice was oddly clipped. "I'm not." He trailed off, looking up the stairs, then shook his head and moved towards the kitchen. "It doesn't matter."
Neville stopped Hermione from following him. "Can I.?"
She nodded gratefully. "I'll just go make sure Harry gets settled."
Neville went to the kitchen, wondering what on earth he was planning to say. He was secretly glad Harry was still being so distant - he hadn't wanted to leave Ron and go back to sleeping in a quiet, lonely room. Still, he couldn't very well say that, could he?
He wondered what Ron had been about to say to his mother when Harry had stopped him.
Ron was sitting on the counter, long legs dangling. He smiled sheepishly at Neville when he came in. "I'm making a mess of things already."
"You? Of course you're not." Neville went up to him in surprise. "Why would you think that?"
Ron shrugged, swinging his legs absently. "I'm very selfish, you know. I'm a horrible person sometimes."
"Ron!"
He smiled. "I am. I was last year. So worried about myself and playing Quidditch when there were so many other things going on that I should have been worried about."
"Ron, you-"
Ron shook his head. "Look, I.I wasn't even that glad to hear Harry was coming. Isn't that horrible?"
Neville's brow furrowed. Harry and Ron were best friends. No one could touch that, and everyone else at Hogwarts knew it. "You weren't?"
"No. Because he reminds me of how selfish I am. If I was a real friend I would know what to do for him, wouldn't I? I would be able to say something to make him feel better about everything. I would help. That's what friends do. But I don't know how. He deserves someone better than me."
"Ron! That's ridiculous. Everyone knows how good a friend you've been to him."
"Really? What about fourth year? During the Triwizard Tournament?"
Neville remembered clearly the times Ron and Harry had been fighting their fourth year. They had both talked to him a lot more during those weeks, he remembered somewhat wryly.
"So you had a fight. Friends fight."
"No. It wasn't a fight. It was me being stupid and accusing him of something he didn't do, and then not helping him at all, even when his life was in danger. What kind of person does that make me? He knows, too," Ron went on without pausing to let Neville answer. "He knows how rotten I am. He knew last year. Things weren't the same. And he probably wants nothing to do with me now. You heard what he said."
"He said he wanted to be alone. He didn't say it was because he didn't want to be with you."
"But he wouldn't if I was a better friend."
Neville shook his head unhappily. "That's stupid."
Ron frowned.
Neville went to the counter, standing right in front of Ron. "Listen. I've been sharing a room with you two for five years now. Everyone in our year knows that if we mess with Harry, we mess with you, too. We know you and Hermione have done really, really brave things to help Harry. We all knew you were fighting, yeah, but we also knew that as soon as Harry got into danger, you'd be there. And you were. Right after that first task with the dragons, you made up with him, and you helped him."
"But-"
"Ron. Everyone in our school who knows you two knows you're as good a friend as anyone could be. You're better to Harry than any friend any of us have ever had, I'll bet you that much. If you can't see that, I'm sorry. If Harry can't see it." Neville glared back towards the living room where Harry had brushed Ron off. ".and I don't think he can see it.then he's just stupid."
"Harry isn't-"
Neville held up a hand, cutting of Ron's immediate, heated denial. "He is about some things."
Ron frowned at him. "He's been through so much."
Neville nodded easily. "Yes, he has. So it's sad he doesn't realize who his friends are, otherwise he might be having an easier go of it right now, instead of wanting to suffer by himself."
Ron studied him hard, as if looking for insincerity.
Neville meant every word of it, though, so he returned Ron's measuring gaze evenly.
Ron smiled finally, a faint lifting of his lips. "I didn't realize you paid such close attention."
Neville shrugged, flushing slightly. "You're my friends. Both of you."
Ron reached out a hand, shyness in his eyes. "Just friends?"
Neville smiled and took Ron's hand in his own more than happily. He answered Ron's question with a look. It would have been a kiss, but Ron was too high sitting up there on the counter. Instead he just smiled and tugged Ron's hand gently and felt himself turning pink.
Ron relaxed, his apprehension chased away. For now, anyway. "In a way I'm glad nothing's changed. I mean, I was going to ask mum if we could all three stay in a room. There are a lot of rooms big enough in this house. But this is good, too."
Neville relaxed at that, letting go of some tension he hadn't realized he'd been carrying around. "Yeah. I always knew Harry would take my place when he got here. I'm glad I was wrong."
"Me, too." Ron smiled, but it faded, and that apprehension came back.
Neville could read his mind easily - Ron was worried that wanting to stay with Neville made him even worse of a friend to Harry.
Neville sighed to himself. He had been worried about Harry coming, because he thought that once he was there that Ron would go back to being his best friend and forget all about Neville.
Now he was still worried, for a completely different reason. He hadn't realized that Harry made Ron feel so unbalanced lately.
He just hoped they worked out whatever was wrong between them. Even if it meant Ron leaving Neville to himself while he went off with Harry. That was better than seeing the guilty self-loathing in Ron's eyes.
***
Morning came, bright and new and sparkling and all that other stuff.
Ron made a face against the light of the sun and flipped over onto his side, away from the window.
Which left him staring right at Neville.
Neville was still sound asleep, a hand flopped over his head, the other on his stomach. The covers were down around his knees, and he was snoring quietly.
Ron grinned into his pillow, watching quietly.
Neville Longbottom. It was really strange to think of him as the same boy Ron had first met years ago.
Not much had changed about him, though, now that Ron thought about it. He looked the same, pretty much. He was still quiet, still klutzy and shy. Still had a patchy memory that made tests a pain for him in school.
But he seemed so different now, all of the sudden.
It was probably Ron who saw him differently now. Ron who changed.
He had changed a lot the last year, he thought. This was probably the one change that was for the better. That he could open his eyes to Neville and see more than what he first thought Neville was.
Look at what that one change had brought him.
Neville was a really, really good person. A lot stronger than Ron (or anyone) had ever given him credit for. And nice.
He made Ron feel good. Talking to Neville was different from talking to anyone else in Ron's life, and he wasn't sure why.
He knew he liked it, though, and he wanted to keep talking to Neville. Keep being there with Neville.
There was a lot of things he wanted to do with Neville. And tops on the list was maybe sharing more of those shy little kisses with him.
Those were really nice.
He sighed and sat himself up slowly, stretching his long arms over his head.
Harry, he remembered suddenly.
Harry was there.
Apprehension immediately bubbled around in his stomach, and Ron angrily forced it down. Harry was his best friend. Harry had gone through way too much the last year, and Ron was going to be there for him. Because that's what friends did for each other.
Maybe Ron wasn't much good at finding the right things to say or do, but he would be there for Harry no matter what.
And it was time to prove that. He had left Harry alone the day before after he arrived, and that was too long as it was.
He climbed out of bed, determined, and threw on a t-shirt and some jeans. He dressed quietly, keeping one eye on Neville.
And then he headed for the door.
His determination got sidetracked a bit, though, when Neville shifted a bit and mumbled something in his sleep.
Ron froze, waiting. A minute later he relaxed; these weren't nightmare mumbles. Just regular sleepy sounds.
He went to Neville's side, just in case, and sat gingerly on the edge of his bed. He would be there for Harry, yeah, but he wasn't about to leave Neville on his own either.
Neville murmured again, scrunching his nose and furrowing his brow before everything smoothed out again.
Ron grinned. Neville was just cute sometimes.
He reached out with light fingers and touched the hand Neville had resting on his stomach. He let his index finger trace over knuckles and veins along the back of Neville's hand lightly.
Neville sighed and his hand twitched a bit.
Ron's chest filled with warmth. He really liked Neville. A lot. It was strange, maybe, but it was real.
Still. He had to make sure Harry was okay. So he stood, reluctantly, and left Neville to his dreams.
***
Harry was standing in the kitchen staring out the window when Ron found him.
"Hey," Ron said quietly to announce his presence.
Harry jumped slightly, turning to him. "Ron."
Ron smiled nervously. "Sleep okay?"
Harry frowned. "Not really. I don't like it here."
"Oh." There had to be something to say to that. Something to soothe Harry's feelings. Anything at all.
But Ron's mind was blank. "Um. Maybe Dumbledore will let us go to Hogwarts early. Or.something."
Harry looked back at the window. "It doesn't really matter, does it? Running away from things doesn't make them go away."
"No." Ron moved in slowly. "But.I mean, so maybe you shouldn't run."
Harry laughed darkly. "I'm here in his house. How is that running?"
"He.Sirius wouldn't want you to be unhappy, Harry."
Harry turned to him, glaring. "How do you know? Maybe that's exactly what he would have wanted."
Ron stared at him. "Harry, come on."
"Oh, Ron. You're just.if all you want is to offer me the same stupid comforts everyone else has, than just go away. I know he's gone, I know someday I'll feel better. I know he would want me to be happy. I know all that, and it doesn't help!"
"I'm sorry," Ron said quickly. "I don't know what to say."
Harry sighed. "I guess you wouldn't. Who have you ever lost?"
Ron winced. You, he wanted to say. But he didn't think that would help. "I'm sorry," he said again.
Harry looked at him for a minute, then turned back to the window.
Ron watched him silently. His determination was starting to crumble.
He should have known better. What made him think he would suddenly be able to help, when he hadn't helped once the whole year? Harry was right; who had he ever lost? He had his whole happy family right there with him.
He sat down at the table, sighing in defeat. So he couldn't help - he could still be there. At least Harry would know he wasn't alone, despite losing so many people.
The room was silent for a while, and Ron watched Harry's back.
He cleared his throat finally and spoke. "So maybe I can't think of anything to say. If you want me to just listen or something, I can do that."
Harry glanced back over his shoulder. "What is it you think I need you to listen to?"
Ron grimaced and looked away. "I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what to do. I wish I did."
"So why bother trying?"
"You're my friend!"
Harry turned to him fully. "Ron. I'm not feeling very good lately, and the last thing I need, honestly, is you hovering because you feel bad. I can't deal with your feelings when I can't even handle my own, okay?"
Ron swallowed. "So.you want me to.?"
Harry's glare softened. He hesitated, then lowered his eyes. "Just give me some time to myself, okay?"
Ron nodded, his throat feeling too clogged to speak around. He blinked at Harry, then stood up and moved out of the kitchen without a word.
He should have known better than to even try.
***
Neville watched in surprise as Ron walked right past him without even seeing him there.
Ron headed up the stairs, his eyes on the ground, his skin pale. His shoulders were slumped.
Neville looked after him, then turned to the door he had just come out of.
He moved quietly and opened the door a crack, peering in.
Yes, just as he figured. Harry stood there, all stiff, looking out a window.
Neville frowned and shut the door again.