Realizations In A Whirl of Cherry Blossoms





I didn't need her anymore. The realization of this shocked me. When had I been lead astray from her opinions, her encouragement? It was a strange feeling, satisfying, yet sad. I had finally gained something along the lines of true independence and obtained the one thing that I had wanted most; the feeling of what it was like to be 'normal'.



I stopped in the courtyard to gaze at the cherry blossom petals drifting in the light breeze, littering the ground in pink. The scene made me feel serene, but as of late I had been calmer than usual, more self-assertive. I had achieved all of this without her help. I was walking on my own two feet doing what I thought was right with more confidence then I ever felt before. I have done all of this without her.



I didn't need her anymore.



Days have come and gone and we have shared the same house and gone to the same school with each other. I thought I loved her. I thought I couldn't live without her. I was so sure I would break if she were to ever leave me. Months ago at the summer beach house I had said my good-byes to her while at the same time displaying as much love as I could give her. A kiss on the forehead, a symbol of how much she meant to me; a symbol of farewell.



I had thought I had done that solely to protect her. I could never live with myself if anything were to happen to her. She was the world to me. Even now I would never forgive myself if anything were to happen to her, but what I feel for her seems to have changed. I still feel love for her, but it's... Different.



When I see her walking down the hall with Kyo, I feel... Okay. I suppose I can't say I'm all smiles because I have felt regrettable, but the idea of them doesn't seem to bother me so much. I don't approve of Kyo because he's going to leave her in little less than a year. He's being selfish, but perhaps he doesn't see it that way. Our views have always clashed except for one thing. That one thing that we share is how precious Tohru Honda is to us.



Even so, the truth of the matter is I don't love her the way I thought I did.



To me it felt so strange to admit that. Tohru was always there for me. She was the first person to actually show me there was love in this world, that there was such a thing. In a way I wonder if perhaps I used her for that one thing that she gave so willingly: her love.



I do love Tohru, there is no changing how much she matters to me. It's just a different kind of love than I thought it was. All I wanted now was for her to be safe and happy. I sacrificed what I thought my feelings to have been for her safety. I think I really did love her in the way that you can only adore one, but it changed as feelings tend to do.



I just thought it would never be possible for my love to change for her.



It seems I have been proven wrong though and surprisingly that was okay. As long as I know that she is there and she is well and happy, that's all that mattered. I would be a protector in the background, and if I were to meet someone... I think I'd be willing to give them a chance. I would love Tohru for everything she has given and done for me, she would always be /my/ precious flower.



"Yuki," Came a female voice. "I... Came to get you. The others are waiting." Kuragi Machi, the Student Council secretary said quietly.



It was odd seeing her standing there, flower petals falling through the clear blue sky. A certain elegance and quietude surrounded her. She seemed reserved and I noticed something about her then, as her dark hair blew about her in the gentle breeze. She was beautiful. As my earlier realization of confusing what my love for Tohru was had shocked me, so had this. I nodded to her before turning once more to stare at the falling cherry blossoms.



Even if one love should fade into another, even if I drifted from place to place in bliss, I would always remember the truest kindness and affection I had been dealt. Tohru would always be my precious flower.



Always.







The End.