DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legolas, though god knows I'd like to. I don't own
Aragorn and his chest hair, or Eowyn and her chest hair. Ew who would want
to own her? And I'm VERY sorry for the disparaging remarks to Tolkien. He's
a genius and I love him, all of this belongs to him.
***Hope you like this next chapter. It's not very long, but I still like it.***
"Mmm, that was nice. I'll never be able to look at your thumb the same way again." Legolas murmured as he snuggled into the crook of Aragorn's arm. It was the fifth time they had met at night, and Legolas never ceased to amaze himself.
"Yeah, well it's a gift." Aragorn said, sticking his chest out a little in pride. Legolas wrinkled his nose, and pushed away from him.
"Aragorn, your chest is so hairy."
"Yeah, I know. It took a lot of work but I got it to be that way." Aragorn beamed in happiness that his love had noticed.
"Ew, you actually *cultivated* the hair?" Legolas asked, and gaped at Aragorn when he nodded.
"Why?"
"Makes me look strong and manly like bull." Aragorn grunted. Legolas squealed and jumped out of bed, grabbing his satin robe, and quickly tying it tightly.
"First of all that sentence made no sense. Second, that's disgusting. Third, why on earth would you want to be like a bull?" Legolas cried. Aragorn sighed, and got up, not bothering to cover himself up.
"If it makes you so angry, I'll......shudder.....get rid of it." Aragorn said, putting his arms around Legolas.
"Really?"
"Really." Here, they began to make out like it was 1999. All of a sudden the door opened, and Legolas turned to see who it was.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY MAN?!" A very angry Eowyn screamed from the doorway. Aragorn gulped, and then realised he wasn't wearing any clothes. He yelped and dove under the duvet for cover. Legolas rolled his eyes and sauntered over to Eowyn.
"What's the matter honey?" Legolas asked in a sickly sweet voice. Eowyn's eyes grew to roughly the size of large dinner plates.
"That's my man! If you are so desperate to get someone, then go screw Gimli. He's not taken." Eowyn cried indignantly. Legolas regarded her coldly for a moment, before calling over his shoulder,
"Aragorn darling, you don't want to be with Eowyn do you?" Aragorn peeked out of the covers for a moment, shook his head violently, and then descended back to his hiding place. Legolas smirked and turned back to Eowyn.
"It doesn't look like he's your man at all. Looks like he's mine, so you better keep away." Legolas said, suggestively fingering an arrow in his hands. Eowyn looked at him in shock for a moment, looked at the pile of blankets which was Aragorn, and then back to Legolas.
"You'll pay for this. I swear! Do you have any idea what kind of men live in Rohan? Haven't you read the books? He's supposed to love me! ME!" She cried. Legolas grinned and pushed her out of the doorway.
"Oh yeah? Well you can tell the author of your so called "book", that he can kiss my ass, cause I just re-wrote the book." And with that said, Legolas promptly slammed the door in Eowyn's shiny and annoying face.
***DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW PPLZ! I'm fuelled on reviews and only write more when I get them.***
***Hope you like this next chapter. It's not very long, but I still like it.***
"Mmm, that was nice. I'll never be able to look at your thumb the same way again." Legolas murmured as he snuggled into the crook of Aragorn's arm. It was the fifth time they had met at night, and Legolas never ceased to amaze himself.
"Yeah, well it's a gift." Aragorn said, sticking his chest out a little in pride. Legolas wrinkled his nose, and pushed away from him.
"Aragorn, your chest is so hairy."
"Yeah, I know. It took a lot of work but I got it to be that way." Aragorn beamed in happiness that his love had noticed.
"Ew, you actually *cultivated* the hair?" Legolas asked, and gaped at Aragorn when he nodded.
"Why?"
"Makes me look strong and manly like bull." Aragorn grunted. Legolas squealed and jumped out of bed, grabbing his satin robe, and quickly tying it tightly.
"First of all that sentence made no sense. Second, that's disgusting. Third, why on earth would you want to be like a bull?" Legolas cried. Aragorn sighed, and got up, not bothering to cover himself up.
"If it makes you so angry, I'll......shudder.....get rid of it." Aragorn said, putting his arms around Legolas.
"Really?"
"Really." Here, they began to make out like it was 1999. All of a sudden the door opened, and Legolas turned to see who it was.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY MAN?!" A very angry Eowyn screamed from the doorway. Aragorn gulped, and then realised he wasn't wearing any clothes. He yelped and dove under the duvet for cover. Legolas rolled his eyes and sauntered over to Eowyn.
"What's the matter honey?" Legolas asked in a sickly sweet voice. Eowyn's eyes grew to roughly the size of large dinner plates.
"That's my man! If you are so desperate to get someone, then go screw Gimli. He's not taken." Eowyn cried indignantly. Legolas regarded her coldly for a moment, before calling over his shoulder,
"Aragorn darling, you don't want to be with Eowyn do you?" Aragorn peeked out of the covers for a moment, shook his head violently, and then descended back to his hiding place. Legolas smirked and turned back to Eowyn.
"It doesn't look like he's your man at all. Looks like he's mine, so you better keep away." Legolas said, suggestively fingering an arrow in his hands. Eowyn looked at him in shock for a moment, looked at the pile of blankets which was Aragorn, and then back to Legolas.
"You'll pay for this. I swear! Do you have any idea what kind of men live in Rohan? Haven't you read the books? He's supposed to love me! ME!" She cried. Legolas grinned and pushed her out of the doorway.
"Oh yeah? Well you can tell the author of your so called "book", that he can kiss my ass, cause I just re-wrote the book." And with that said, Legolas promptly slammed the door in Eowyn's shiny and annoying face.
***DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW PPLZ! I'm fuelled on reviews and only write more when I get them.***