A/N: First things first. I LOVE ALL OF YOU REVIEWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know it's been awhile since I updated, but wow, I've got so many reviews since last chap! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!! YOU'RE THE GREATEST!!! You've all made a very tiny person in this world extremely, intensely, and undeniably HAPPY! :D:D
'div: yes, I agree, the man has a bubbling ego (like a lot of men-sowwie, me being mildly sexist at the moment, eheh, forgive me!). But anyway, I hope this chapter will satisfy your anxious wait!
Crystalline Lilly: you're first impression is very, very good *winks*
avapouhi: don't be sorry, I love over-enthusiasm from reviewers! :D:D and I hope I can keep D and Hr IC for a long while…thanks!
Twinkles: yes, he's definitely gone mad…I think at one time or another, they all will, haha. To answer your question, no they're not dead…Ron and Ginny obviously aren't, and I love the Weasleys far too much to kill them all off…but I can't say as to whether they all will be in the story just yet…you don't want them to fall in love?? *pouts* but I agree, it would be interesting if they ended up killing each other for real, and of course, the other reviewers will most likely bomb my e-mail if I did that :P
tom4eva: thank you! More fights likely to be on their way!
Sage: I can't spill all of the beans, but they do get married don't they? *hint hint*
Kid Majere: yup, he's gonna do the honors! Well the honeymoon is the next chap, but stick around anyhow!
Madame Plot Bunnie: we love Draco no matter how idiotic or nasty he is, don't we? Of course! Glad u loved that comment :P
Hgbookworm: thank you, but it might be awhile until near the end of the story comes along…I have a hunch that this is going to be kind of a long story…
Coconut: I will never ditch this fic! Not unless I get a hundred reviews telling me to do so, that is…hehe
WindRider-Damia, porkypop, playboibunnie69, Jennifer, rei, Mysticpixie, Poppy, Janice: thank you and I will! Romance will come in due time, promise!
Twitch: I think all of their arguments tend to be that way…amusingly silly at the core :P
Embyr-Dragon: thank you! I'm ecstatic that you like my fic despite it having a ship you don't go for…hopefully it will make you reconsider? Hopefully? *double blinks*
ariel: no! please! I will finish it, so, kindly spare my muggle ass and don't send out your pet basilisk! :P:P
Cecelia: I love all of your reviews so much, you are a terrific reviewer! *hugs* Your last idea is absolutely hilarious (and embarrassing for Hermione at that!). yes, I admit to being a tease, but because I'm an evil person (a nice one, mind you, never mind the hypocrisy) I will keep on dropping clues mwuhahaha! However, I'd like to clear a bit of misunderstanding I think you had there…the seer isn't a Potter…but what Voldemort meant was he was telling the seer to show him Potter (Harry) through the crystal ball…sorry for not making it clear enough, my bad (but on another note, I think McD's is full of lies anyway, hehe *grins*)
Silver Dragon Goddess: glad you loved that line! Don't worry, the answers will come in due time…hehehe…*ducks as you throw an apple at me*
Phoenix Flight: I don't imagine a lot of things were what she imagined as a teenager! Your line is really funny! Another reviewer who has great ideas! Big thanks for that, I sort of incorporated in a bit of the idea in this chap, you don't mind terribly do you? It's under your copyright, of course ;)
DazzilinAngel555: I burst out laughing writing that part too, haha, thanks and I'll keep going for sure!
DracoLover788: I seriously imagine her battling eyelashes that way, haha…it's interesting how different lines appeal to different ppl! Keep reviewing!
dracoJAE: hehe you can tell your mom that I'm the nutter one! guess what! I read your story- not IYCB but the one where Draco is the dark lord, but you only have 2 chaps! It seems kind of dark, I want to see where you're gonna go with it (your cue to update). Would have reviewed, but as I've mentioned somewhere before, my computer repels the use of java so I can't :(
Lily of the Shadow: I'm sorry I haven't been exercising my quick updating reflexes *ducks once more as you throw me a banana peel* but I had all this other academic boring snoring stuff to do! Anyway, here it is, hope you like it!
Dreaming One: truth be told, I don't know what's going on in my head either! But I do love your review. Hope you like this chap just as well!
Mistress Moony: thank you! Keep on laughing!
Eclipse Rider: you're adding this to the list?!? AHH THANK YOU SO MUCHIE!! *gives you bigass hug* I'm very flattered and happie!
Oliver's gurl: you're the second one whose mother thinks has gone nuts from laughing at my story! Feel free to put all the blame on little clinically insane me :P You are also the second one who made a guess about who the seer is…very perceptive you are is what I have to say! *winks* Seamus will come on and off, and he's in this chap, but not a really big role yet…
Esperanza: thanks so much for taking the time to write a lot, I really do appreciate it! The reason why Hr isn't flirting just yet is because she's still IC…but as the story progresses, who knows how long her sanity will last? I'm also glad you liked how Voldy is…this is my version of mad voldy gone even madder haha :D
c0okie: thingis? There are 'thingis' on your body (please enlighten me, I have no clue what you're talking about :P) But anyway, it's going to be a longish story, so it mite be awhile until I finish it, but keep staying tuned, k?
There! I hope I didn't forget anyone who reviewed the last chap (if I did, I'm sorry!). Again, BIG HUGE THANKS to you all, you reviewers are brilliant.
One more thing. I'd like to thank my new beta-reader Erin for offering to beta my story and beta-reading this chap! Without her, this story would have quite a few silly mistakes. Thanks Erin!
Now moving on.
Major time skipping in this chap! I can't dwell too long, knowing that we're all waiting for the wedding and that the story still has a loooooong way to go…so sorry if it seems that the events are a bit rushed here and there, but time skipping is necessary! Anyway, this is the longest chap in this fic so far, so please bear with me…I'm not sure if it's as good as last one, I'll just have to wait for your reviews on that (at least my beta likes it so I'm being very hopeful)! Enjoy!
**
Chapter 5: Married!
The next week passed in a blur for Hermione. Not only did she have to repeatedly visit Madame Malkin's for measurements and the sort for her wedding dress, but she also had to endure Narcissa's hourly teachings of proper upper-class, Pureblood etiquette and behavior as well. Fortunately, during this whole time, she barely crossed paths with Malfoy, and was quite glad for that. However, her luck ran out when the Monday before the wedding rolled around and Voldemort decided to drop in.
Everyone was gathered in the Study this time when Voldemort was led in by an extremely nervous-looking Seamus Finnigan. Ginny, who had been doing the excruciatingly menial job of dusting the shelves in the Study visibly flinched at the sight of him. Hermione, perched on a small stool as far away from Draco as possible, was determined to look calm but fierce. Both Narcissa and Draco looked weary and uncertain, while Severus Snape seemed horribly sullen and tormented. So as it turned out, only Lucius looked gleeful, but even his brightness was no match for the exuberant radiance that emanated from Voldemort as he pleasantly strolled into the Malfoy Study and sat himself down on his usual black velvet high-chair.
He seemed to be a happy man today, and this, naturally, was nerve-racking to everyone around him.
"Ah, all here, face to face. Perfect. I assume everything is going as planned?" Voldemort asked Lucius, after observing every single face in the room.
"Yes, sire. We are right along schedule," answered Lucius.
"Wonderful. Just came to check up on the progress of my lovely people, really," Voldemort explained, to the puzzlement of his small audience. "Oh, but there is one thing…"
Everyone held their breath. They were certain it had to be unpleasant news.
"…I forgot to mention the last time we met that I believe it is customary for a bride to be given away by her father. However, being that you, Miss Granger, are not allowed to contact those Muggle parents of yours, I would like to appoint Severus Snape here to take the place of your father at the wedding."
At his words, Hermione's and Snape's jaws dropped.
"That is absurd! Why, Lord, she looks nothing like me!" protested Snape from his position on the floor.
"And it doesn't have to be a father figure to give me away! I'll be perfectly content if Seamus were to do the honors…" added Hermione urgently.
But Voldemort merely chuckled and raised his hands to stop their meaningless protests. "Now, now, Butler Finnigan will have far too much to do, what with entertaining the guests with their drinks and all. Besides he, Miss Weasley, and one other person will be the only guests from your side at the wedding. They have much to do as it is."
Hermione could not believe this. Snape giving her away to Malfoy? It sounded like one big joke!
Or nightmare…
Voldemort took no heed of Hermione's troubled face, and simply continued. "Now, before I leave, Narcissa has informed me of a very interesting point to discuss with you."
At this, everyone, including Lucius and Malfoy, turned to look questioningly at Narcissa, whose face held a serene, blank expression, revealing no answers.
"I have heard that the news has not been well received, though. However, I find it rather exciting! What I'm talking about, of course, is Narcissa's proposal for young Draco and his new wife to go on a honeymoon!"
At this, Narcissa smirked at her accomplishment, while Draco visibly tensed and Lucious looked like someone had knocked the breath out of him. Seamus gave a stunned expression, Ginny smiled knowingly, and Snape…well, was just being Snape and looked indifferent. Hermione sat abashed.
"My Lord, you, er- can't be serious, now! I mean, isn't it enough that Draco has to-"
"Now, now, Lucius, I have my reasons. I think a honeymoon would be a brilliant opportunity for the two newlyweds to get to know one another and possibly forge a friendship."
Forge a friendship?! Was the thought that instantly racked through the minds of Hermione, Draco, Lucius, Snape, and Seamus, though the latter two were slightly amused.
"But Master-" pressed Lucius further, unwavering.
"Hush, Lucius! I know what I am doing. And this is not a choice, really. The honeymoon for Draco and Miss Granger is an ordered offer. I order you to go on this honeymoon, the way I ordered you both to marry. Simple as that. And don't worry. I will take care of all the expenses and details, including the destination of your honeymoon. All I know is that it will be an enthralling experience. Consider it your wedding gift from me. Is that clear?"
"Crystal," spat Hermione, infuriated. How dare he order her like that? It was bad enough that-
"No hard feelings, now, Miss Granger. I assure you, you will want to thank me for the great time you'll have when you return," said Voldemort easily.
His response made both Hermione and Draco burst out laughing derisively. Great time my arse! they thought.
Narcissa gave a triumphant smile, and Voldemort looked quite pleased. "See? It hasn't even begun yet and the both of you are already sharing a laugh. I daresay, a possible bond might already be formed…" the evil dark wizard suggested sneakily.
That shut Draco and Hermione up at once.
**
After Voldemort's departure, Draco trailed after his mother up the stairs.
"Mother, how can you do this to me? Going to Voldemort with that ridiculous idea! And scheming with him, how could you?!" he wailed angrily.
Narcissa seemed unfazed and continued strolling pleasantly. "Well, Draco, I wasn't in Slytherin for nothing, now, was I?"
"But Mother-"
"Oh stop it, Draco, you're being very irritating. You heard what the Dark Lord said. His orders. This is out of my hands," she said. "Now, hadn't you be checking up on your groom robes? I remember alterations had to be made."
"My groom robes are pathetic. I don't care about the alterations. There is no way I am wearing them to my wedding." The Malfoy family wedding robes for grooms were long, slightly frilly at the neck and cuffs, and white, resembling a cross between an old-fashioned nightgown and a dress.
"Seriously, Draco, it's what your father wore-"
"And you weren't bothered at all that he looked like a woman?"
"Well, Draco, it's just that-"
"It's just that I've being dragged into this marriage against my will, and the least anyone can do for me is to let me choose what I want to wear!" Draco exploded in frustration.
Narcissa's eyes flashed. "Don't you take that tone with me, Draco!"
"Mother, you simply do not see the absurdity of anything anymore!"
"Fine! Ruin tradition if you must! But you'll be sorely punished if there isn't at least one white garment in your attire!" Narcissa shouted at him, very vexed.
"Done!" he shouted back, then stormed downstairs.
**
A few days later found Hermione walking around Malfoy Manor with Volumes I, II, and III of Malfoy: A Genealogy balanced on her head.
"That's it, shoulders straight up now!" commanded Narcissa from the foot of the grand stair case.
Presently, Hermione was enduring one of her etiquette classes with Narcissa. Apparently, the way she walked was not graceful enough so Narcissa was making her practice.
"Narcissa, I can't walk down the stairs like this! I'll lose my balance and fall!" complained Hermione from the top of the stairs.
"Well, we'll see about that won't we? Might do you good, if you break your spine then no one will have to bear seeing you walk so insufferably! Now come down this instant!"
Groaning, Hermione attempted to do what she was told, and stepped down carefully. Taking one slow step at a time, she felt her legs shake and her heartbeat increase. There was no way she'd get to the bottom step alive with those torturously heavy volumes on her head.
"We haven't got all day now! You're getting married in two days and I can't have you hunching down the aisle!" Narcissa called up in annoyance.
"I do not hunch!" Hermione argued vehemently, nearly making herself fall. "Whoa!"
"Hurry up, I did this exercise when I was three!" Narcissa continued.
Hermione decided to quicken her pace, but it proved unsuccessful as the heavy books shook frightfully on her head.
"If any of those books fall, you don't want to know what's in store for you, young lady!" threatened her future mother-in-law.
"I'm trying!"
"So, Mudblood, are you having fun?" That was Draco. He had been coming down from his room as well, and now was walking easily down the same flight of stairs as Hermione, passing where she was.
"Shut it, Malfoy, you're supposed to be nice to-" Hermione began but broke off suddenly. With her added frustration and anger at Malfoy, she lost her footing, consequently missing a step, and began to tumble downwards.
Instinctively without a thought, Malfoy reached out to halt Hermione's fall and caught her in his strong arms before she tumbled further. However, the force of her descent was too strong and it ended up being that both of them plunged down the steps with flying books, rolling down into a miserable heap on the floor by Narcissa's feet.
"DRACO!" cried Narcissa in horror, bending down to wrench her son free from Hermione. "Are you hurt? Draco dearest, are you alright? Speak to me! DRACO!"
"I heard you!" he mumbled back to his mother, slightly dazed, with all parts of his body in pain. He was completely on top of Hermione, his face buried in her neck. He couldn't help noticing, however, that the filthy Mudblood smelled sweetly of strawberries.
Mmmm…
"Ugh you're crushing me! Get off!" rasped Hermione, who was laying flat on her back on the floor with the burdensome weight of Draco Malfoy on her.
Realizing his position, Draco pulled himself up with the aid of his mother. Leaning on her shoulder to steady his balance, he began inspecting himself for any signs of injury. Looking at his arms, he saw that bluish-green blobs were beginning to form in various places on his pale skin.
"You stupid Mudblood! You made me bruise on my perfect skin! It's tainted!"
"Oh no!" cried Narcissa alarmed, observing his son's bruises. "RED! Finnigan! Somebody get Snape now! My son's injured!" she shouted, after reaching for her wand and placing a Sonorous charm on herself.
"What about me?" said Hermione, still on the floor. She had tried most unsuccessfully to get up.
"You can stay down there for being so impertinent! Look at what you did to my son!" raged Narcissa, softly rubbing her son's arms and back, trying to think of any simple healing spells to soothe his pain.
Soon, both Ginny and Seamus came rushing about with Professor Snape. "What happened here?" asked Snape, seeing his two former students bruised and three thick books scattered around. He feared they had tried another one of their killing matches again.
"That inane bitch of a Mudblood down there tumbled into me-" began Draco.
"That's not true, you tried to catch me-"
"And I fell because of that so whose bloody fault was it?"
"Alright!" Snape said, fed up, and reached down to pull Hermione up. "Follow me, both of you, and I'll heal you up and cover your bruises," he said, motioning for them to follow. Slowly, they staggered behind him, refusing to converse with one another, disappearing from the foyer.
"At the rate this is going, they'll be dead by their wedding night!" moaned Narcissa to a worried Ginny and Seamus, who were still standing and staring after the disastrous pair and their former professor.
**
"Severus, my boots are filthy and not polished!"
Lucius Malfoy's roar echoed through the whole Manor. It was the morning of the dreaded wedding day and Lucius was very upset to find that the expensive black boots he was planning to wear were covered in dried muck.
Snape appeared moments later, calm and collected. "You called, sir?" he purred most pleasantly.
Lucius eyed him suspiciously. "A merry mood we're in, are we?" he asked sarcastically.
"As merry as can be, sir," Snape replied, smiling just a bit.
Something was off with Snape, but Lucius couldn't exactly pinpoint what. For some reason, the man's sour demeanor had gone. Surely he couldn't be happy about Hermione Granger marrying Draco?
"Whatever. Look at this." Lucius pointed to his boots. "This is absolutely unacceptable. They are horrid! And they are brand new! I've never worn them before. So tell me, how is it that they're covered in mud?"
Snape looked thoughtful. "Hmmm, that is very interesting indeed. I haven't a clue, sir," he replied innocently.
Lucius narrowed his eyes. "You did this, didn't you?"
Snape uttered a cry of shock. "Why, sir, I would never! Here, Finnigan or one of the elves probably dropped it on the wet ground and forgot to clean it. Why don't I clean it up," and with that Snape reached out to grab the boots.
Lucius stopped him. "Nevermind, I haven't got time. The guests will be arriving any minute now and I can't wait forever for you to clean it up. I'll wear something else. ARGH!" Lucius pounded his own head in distress.
"A headache, sir?" Snape asked coyly.
"As a matter of fact, yes. Say, why don't you go fetch me one of your headache relieving potions now, Severus. Don't believe I can last this atrocious day with a throbbing head."
"Certainly, sir." Snape was gone in a flash, racing back to his slave chambers. This was the moment he had been waiting for.
A few minutes later, he arrived back in Lucius Malfoy's bedchambers with a vial in his hand.
"Here is your potion, sir," he announced upon entering.
Lucius looked at Snape warily. Something odd was definitely at play here. Snape was being a bit too…subservient. And even nice. Something had to be up. But with all the fuss and planning, Lucius was much too tired to question anything now.
"Good. You take a sip now, Severus," he ordered.
Snape gladly opened the vial and poured some of its liquid contents down his throat. "As you can see, I've got no tricks, Lucius," Snape replied after his sip.
"That's Master Malfoy to you," Lucius said before walking over to obtain his potion.
At that moment, Snape's eyes grew wide and he pointed urgently at the window behind Lucius. Not knowing what to fear, Lucius whipped his head around and looked over to where Snape was pointing. Within that quick second, Snape dug into his robes and swiftly replaced the vial in his hand with another similar-looking one.
Abruptly, Lucius turned back, narrowing his eyes. "What is it Severus? I don't see anything!"
"Oh, silly me, I thought I saw a pussy cat," Snape replied readily. "I mean, I know how you despise cats, sir."
"Right, right, bloody cats and their fur. Allergies. Eck."
Ha! The oldest trick in the book still works!
"Well then, here is your potion, sir. I'll leave you to finish dressing now." And with that Snape strolled out.
Without any further thought, Lucius tipped the vial to his mouth and swallowed the potion in one single gulp.
Hmm…a bit bitter today…
All of a sudden, he felt extremely lightheaded.
It's a good thing I'm mostly dressed, because by Merlin can't think straight now…
Just then, the world around Lucius spun and he began to see dancing stars.
**
"Crabbe, Goyle, you never cease being idiots do you?!"
Finally, the day that would make him the unhappiest of men arrived, and Draco Malfoy was furious. While helping Draco get ready in his room, Crabbe and Goyle, his cronies from school and also his designated best men, had sneaked in some Chocolate Frogs, all of which had decided to jump around all over Malfoy's newly polished black leather shoes.
"Well, Draco, it can be cleaned…" Crabbe offered. "Here, I'll do it."
Draco snatched his pants away from Crabbe's grasps. "Not a chance. You'll probably tear a hole in the damn thing, you fool of an oaf. You too, Goyle. Now get me my groom's cloak while I clean this mess you both created."
Goyle hurriedly complied with Draco's demands, and retrieved him his brand-new custom designed cloak. It was made of unicorn hair and some other wizardly material. Of a glowing silver-white color with a bit of a golden tint when under the sun, it was custom-made especially for Malfoy and his bride (in place of the white robes). Grabbing it from Goyle's hands, he draped it over the long-sleeved, ebony satin dress robe he was currently donning. He then proceeded to slip on his now cleaned leather shoes.
After wearing them, he began to carefully groom his platinum-blond hair, slicking it back most aristocratically (no surprise there). Then, he adorned his hands with huge, golden rings with the Malfoy crest engraved on it. When he was finished, he applied some expensive cologne onto himself and stood there, admiring his looks in front of the mirror from various angles.
"You look wonderful, Master Draco. Your bride will be charmed, I'm sure," the mirror eerily spoke.
"I don't care about her. I'm just looking good because-well, I always look good. Isn't that so, Crabbe, Goyle?"
The two pigs nodded in assent, both trying to hide the Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans they just popped into their mouths.
Thirty minutes later, Draco decided he was done admiring himself, and went over to his trunk. Opening it, he reached inside for a small, mahogany box. Sighing with disappointment, he opened it to reveal an expertly crafted platinum ring embedded with a single, enormous glinting diamond. On the inside of the ring was an inscription engraved in pure gold that read HERMIONE.
"Crabbe, Goyle. This is the wedding ring. I trust you'll use the brain in your head as opposed to the usual air in there so as to not lose it within the next hour? Because I'll be needing it then," Draco told them, then flung the ring worthlessly at them.
"You made this ring just for her?" asked Goyle, surprised.
"No, you dim-wit. It's the Malfoy family wedding ring passed down from one Malfoy heir to the next when their time came to present it to their wife. Unfortunately, as you know, this is my time. And the gold inscription is enchanted to engrave the name of the current Malfoy bride. It really should've read PANSY," Malfoy explained grimly.
Crabbe and Goyle still stared at the ring in fascination and awe. It was truly exquisitely beautiful, and in their limited opinions, much too beautiful to be given to a Mudblood.
"Well, c'mon, we're already fashionably late as it is. I think the guests have already arrived. I'm needed at the altar. Get up you fools!" Malfoy barked, and the three of them soon exited his bedchambers.
**
"Hermione, all the guests are here! Malfoy's been at the altar for nearly an hour now…we have to go."
"Stop worrying, Gin, I'm almost done. Just this one necklace," Hermione told her friend.
"Don't pretend, I know you've been stalling as much as you could. But this can't wait. Might as well get it over with."
"Easy for you to say, Gin. You're not about to go on a honeymoon with him afterwards!"
Ginny looked thoughtful. "True."
Just then, the door to Hermione's room burst opened and Narcissa angrily stormed in.
"Whatever are you two doing? Voldemort and the guests have been waiting nearly an hour out there! It's a small, simple wedding, it shouldn't take you this long!" the elder woman agonized.
"We're almost done," Hermione said.
"You better be. Snape is waiting for you in the foyer. I expect you down there in five minutes. I repeat FIVE MINUTES. Come with me, Red, I need some help down stairs," commanded Narcissa.
Ginny gave Hermione a reassuring pat on the back. "See you at the altar!" she said, before following Narcissa out of the room.
Alone, Hermione stared at her reflection in the mirror. She had always wanted to get married in a Muggle wedding dress like her mother, but of course, this was not an option here. So, instead, she was now wearing a long, flowing white gown made of silk, chiffon, and some other magical fiber, so that it could be enchanted to glow slightly. Golden unicorn hair was threaded at the hems of the dress and sleeves as well. Covering her back was a lengthy cloak similar to that of Draco's, though hers was custom-designed to suit her feminine body. On her feet were a pair of delicate glass slippers that Narcissa had worn on her wedding day. As for her characteristic bushy hair, Madame Pristine had spent two hours earlier taming it, and presently it was sleek and only slightly curled at the ends. They decided to let most of her hair loose and graceful, but tying up a bit of the upper half, so as to better show the gleaming silver tiara ornamented on her head. Madame Pristine also studded Hermione's hair with little glinting crystals here and there, and together they created an almost angelic effect. On her face, slight magical make-up decorated it- not much, but just enough to highlight her features and make them shine up a bit. Finally, completing her look, a golden necklace hung around her neck, and sapphire rings adorned her fingers. Truthfully, Hermione had to admit that she was the most beautiful she had ever been in her life, and was sorry that it had to happen when she was marrying the beast Malfoy as opposed to her long-time love, Ron Weasley.
"You look utterly beautiful, dear. Elegant and ravishing. Like a princess. I daresay your husband will be charmed," the mirror in front of Hermione complimented.
"That's highly doubtful," she muttered wryly. If there was anything she never wanted more, it was this. But she had no choice. It was marriage or certain death.
After ten minutes- she didn't care that she wasn't meeting Narcissa's deadline- she finally left her room and made her way towards the foyer. Upon reaching the top of the stair case, she couldn't help but notice the exquisite decorations that had been enchanted for this occasion. Flowers of all sorts decorated the railing and walls. Through the large window overlooking the gardens, she saw that it was even more magnificent outside, where an altar had been set up and the ceremony was to take place. Long, white pews for guests also lined the lawn on two sides, leaving an aisle in the center. Around them were white tables with all sorts of food and refreshments, including a fairly large wedding cake with a figurines of Draco and Hermione on top, dancing serenely with one another. A simple enough wedding, with a touch of Malfoy extravagance. It was hard to believe all of this was Voldemort's idea. Who would've thought?
Giving another loud sigh, Hermione tore her eyes away from the large windows and headed down the grand staircase to the foyer where Snape was waiting for her. He paced about grumpily, decked in simple dark blue dress robes. His greasy black hair that usually drooped about his face had been gelled back somewhat (thank god) though not slicked back the way Malfoy's hair was. Picking up the bouquet of flowers awaiting her at a table in the foyer and clutching it tightly, she slowly approached him.
"I'm glad you've decided to join us after all," he remarked when he saw her.
"Never in my dreams did I ever think I'd be given away by you, Professor," she told him.
"The same goes for me and my nightmares," Snape replied. "And I do think it's about time you stopped calling me Professor," he added.
"Sure. Should I call you Father then? It'll seem more real you know."
Snape looked absolutely revolted. "Your sardonic sense of humor comes out at the best of times, doesn't it? But if it makes you hurry up, then by all means, do so."
Hermione grinned gingerly, before looking uncertain again. After five more minutes, she still hadn't budged from her spot.
Snape clicked his soles impatiently. "Well? What are you waiting for, the sky to fall?"
"No." Hermione breathed in and out nervously. In a few minutes, she and Malfoy, her worst enemy, would be married. "This is a nightmare and I will wake up."
"Oh, glory, not again. But go ahead, now, don't mind me, pinch yourself all you want. Make sure you're not dreaming. Here I'll even help," Snape said, then reached out and pinched her arm. Hard.
"Ow!" she cried in sudden pain.
"There. You're awake. Can we go now?"
"Prof-Severus, I'm…nervous. I hate him. And the thought of marrying him is making me sick. What if I puke all over the altar?"
"Don't be silly, Hermione," he told her.
Hermione looked up at him, surprised. He had never called her by her first name.
Snape shifted uneasily. "Look, I can imagine how awful you must feel…but it could be for the best. You might learn much needed useful information and you know that. If there's anyone who could work it to our benefit, it's you."
Hermione took one last deep breath. She did know that.
"And if it makes you feel any better, I think you look beautiful and I reckon your vile husband will think so too," Snape added uncomfortably, looking away. "Of course, I never said that."
Hermione smiled at him knowingly. "No, you never did. This conversation never took place."
He returned a hesitant smile before gesturing towards the door.
"Alright, I think I'm ready. C'mon Papa Severus, let's go."
"I'll ignore that," Snape gruffly mumbled.
And with that she linked her right arm with his left, and together, they walked out of the Manor towards the gardens where everyone awaited them.
**
Draco was beyond annoyed. What the hell was taking Granger so long? He wanted to get this over and done with as speedily as possible.
Standing in front of the altar he looked nervously about the small group of guests that had been invited. On his side of the pews were his parents and cousins, the Notts, the Pettigrews (yes, Scabbers is a married rodent of man now), the Bulstrodes (save for Millicent), the Crabbes and Goyles (minus Crabbe and Goyle, who were standing behind Draco as best men), the Baddocks, and finally the Parkinsons. Currently, Pansy was bawling her eyes out at the fact that she was attending her ex- fiancé's wedding. Draco looked at her sympathetically. Up until two weeks ago, they had been engaged. He wasn't sure if he loved her, to be perfectly honest, but he didn't mind marrying her.
Poor Pansy, he thought. After this whole charade's over, I'll make you happy Pansy, you just wait…
Passing time, Draco ventured a glance towards the other side of garden, where Hermione's guests would be seated. Of course, the pews were practically empty. Ginny, Hermione's bridesmaid, was already standing around the altar, and Seamus Finnigan-who was allowed to take a quick break from butler duties in order to attend the ceremony- was the only one sitting on a bench. Well, Seamus and another hooded figure who he didn't recognize.
Glancing towards the far side of the lawn, Malfoy saw the classical wizard band that they had hired in for the occasion. He saw that they, too, were more than eager to start.
"Where is bridy?"
Draco was snapped out of his thoughts by his father's strange voice.
Bridy?
He looked over at his old man and saw that something about him was out of place. Lucius seemed a little dazed, and though he had asked his son a question, his eyes were wandering wildly around the place.
"Bridy? Do you mean bride-Hermione? I don't know. Are you alright, Father?"
"Fine, fine. Just didn't know there were so many of them."
"So many of what?"
"Pixies."
Draco stared. There wasn't a single pixie in sight. "Erm- there aren't any pixies, Father," he said, baffled.
"No? Oh, my mistake, they're flying elves."
Draco shot a worried glance at his mother, who immediately walked up to them.
"Something's wrong with Father. He's hallucinating," Draco informed his mother.
"What? Lucius, what do you see?" Narcissa asked her husband.
"Stars. And I only thought they came out at night!" exclaimed the elder Malfoy.
Narcissa blanched. Of all days, her husband chose today to go nutters. Taking his arm, she led him back to his seat on the bench-with him still amazed that stars and flying elves were floating above them- and prayed silently for the ceremony to pass as fast as wizardly possible.
Behind the altar, Voldemort stood, high and erect, grinning like a loon. He seemed proud and enthusiastic- very much the way he did after he won that last battle against the Light side. Draco narrowed his eyes at the dark wizard. What was it that he wanted with him and Hermione?
Draco began to get absorbed in this thought when someone suddenly shouted "Here comes the bride!" and the musicians instantly began playing the 'Wedding March'.
About ruddy time. Senseless Mudblood, kept us all waiting like insignificant idiots, why I'll get her for this…
Draco Malfoy whipped his head towards the aisle to see two figures strolling pleasantly towards it. As they neared, his jaw visibly fell to the ground and every part of his body froze in shock.
Upon him, walking down the aisle, was the face of the most beautiful witch he ever saw. Okay, one of the most beautiful, but still.
Holy Voldywarts, what did they do to her? She's absolutely…wow…gorgeous…wow…it can't be Granger, it can't be…wow…wow…no! Stop, it's just Granger…yes, but wow…ok this is enough…
**
As she steadily treaded down the aisle, Hermione saw the enthralled look on Malfoy's face at the altar as he looked her up and down and couldn't help but inwardly smirk. So, she wasn't just another filthy Mudblood now, eh? He found her attractive, huh? Well too bad he won't be able to-
"Oof!"
Hermione tripped on the hem of her dress and stumbled down, pulling Papa Severus down with her. Luckily, he was strong enough to hold his own and catch her before she fell flat on her face and made a fool out of the both of them in front of the Death Eaters.
"Careful!" Snape snarled embarrassingly at her.
Hermione felt her face flush and chided herself in her head for making such a silly blunder. Looking up, she saw that Malfoy had already averted his eyes from her and a quick glance towards his right showed Narcissa looking absolutely mortified.
Well, it's not like I asked to be a Malfoy…
After a couple of minutes more, she reached the altar. Snape let go of her and joined Seamus and the mysterious figure on the bench, while Draco took his place beside Hermione. Together, the pair unwillingly stepped forward towards Voldemort, who looked ecstatic.
After a moment of beaming at the couple, Voldemort began. "Fellow respected Death Eaters and their subordinates. We are gathered here today to witness the union of a most unlikely yet magnificent pair. There are no need for much formalities as I have taken upon myself to see that there are no better matches for these two than each other ('Nooo' moaned Pansy softly in tears). However, if there is anyone out there who believes that these two should not wed for whatever reason imaginable (Hermione and Draco both snorted here), speak now and perish at my hands or forever hold your peace."
Voldemort paused and looked expectantly at the crowd. Of course, no one would speak, not even Pansy dared.
"Brilliant. Now, it is time to exchange your marriage vows. The rings, please."
Ginny handed Hermione a simple gold wedding band, courtesy of Narcissa Malfoy, as usual, for her to give to Draco when the moment came.
Draco stood and waited for either Crabbe or Goyle to hand him the ring. They did nothing.
"Oy, fools, the ring!" he finally barked at them, exasperated.
Realizing their duties, Crabbe dutifully reached inside his robes for the wedding band and handed it over to Draco, who then stepped forwards and took Hermione's hand.
"Now, for your vows."
Draco gulped and crossed his fingers.
"Do you, Draco Lucius Octavius Augustus Constantine Caesar Arthur Xavier Malfoy take this woman, Hermione Elizabeth Ann Granger to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, to honor and respect, to cherish and protect, and be magically bound to her in the name of marriage, until Harry Pott- oops, pardon me, I mean, until you both shall live?"
Silence.
Voldemort waited.
And waited.
And waited.
One of the guests on the pews yawned.
More silence.
Voldemort coughed.
"Hmm? Well? Young Malfoy?"
"I do," Draco finally uttered in chagrin. At his words, Pansy Parkinson burst into even louder, wailing sobs.
"Wonderful. Please slip the ring on her finger."
Very reluctantly, Draco complied. Hermione stared astonished at the beauty of her ring as Draco slipped it on her index finger.
Voldemort then turned towards her. "Do you, Hermione Elizabeth Ann Granger, take Draco Lucius Octavius Augustus Constantine Caesar Arthur Xavier Malfoy to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, to honor and respect, to cherish and protect, and be magically bound to him under the name of marriage, until you both shall live?"
Again, silence.
Hermione glared darkly at Draco Malfoy. Oh, how she loathed him so.
You are all I never wanted, she thought glumly.
From Hermione's death glare, Draco could tell what she was thinking. She loathed his very presence and this very abominable moment.
The feeling's mutual, he thought back.
"Ahem. Miss Granger?" Voldemort asked, now growing impatient. Why couldn't she just say the damn word and be done with this?
Still silence.
Voldemort cleared his throat. "Miss Granger?"
Hermione closed her eyes and exhaled. "I do."
The Dark Lord's smile brightened. "Brilliant. You may slip the ring on Draco's finger."
Reluctantly as well, Hermione slipped the plain gold ring on Draco's index finger.
"And now I pronounce you man and wife! You may kiss the bride!" Voldemort cheerfully and excitedly announced.
Hermione and Draco gaped at each other in horror. They had entirely forgotten about this stage of the ceremony!
Nooooo! they thought simultaneously.
After a long moment of awkwardness, Hermione finally whispered to him, "Make it quick, you prat, so we can be done."
He responded by saying, "Only if your breath doesn't make me gag, Mudblood."
"Well?" Voldemort was looking expectantly at them again. "You don't think this is optional, do you?" *
Groaning, the couple inched closer towards each other and Draco leaned down to kiss his bride. In a jolt, his lips pressed hard against hers and their marriage was successfully initiated. As fast as his lips touched hers, he lifted it away, breathing in disgust.
"Here, here! Cheers for the newlyweds!" ordered Voldemort from behind them.
Hesitantly, the guests began clapping and cheering monotonously, before hoarding towards the buffet tables for food.
Hermione and Draco stood rooted in their spot, unsure of what to do next. Voldemort draped his arms around both of them, as though they had been chums for life.
"Well, congratulations, you two, my job here is done for the moment. I will be off now, another pressing engagement to attend. But you will find that all the necessary arrangements concerning your honeymoon have already been made. Enjoy your trip! Ta ta!" Then, with a pop, Voldemort vanished.
After that, Narcissa, pulling Lucius, came towards them.
"Well congratulations, you've both made it out alive. The reception's starting now, but I'll give you both a choice. After cutting the wedding cake, you can choose to stay and try to enjoy yourselves, or you can immediately embark on your honeymoon. Voldemort has planned everything, and a flying carriage is awaiting you near the front gate. Details on your destination are inside the carriage," Narcissa informed them.
Lucius stood still, smiling weirdly. "Frothberg shmooth," he happily told Draco.
"What's wrong with him, Mother?" Draco asked, eyeing his Father carefully.
"Merlin knows. Just began speaking gibberish a few minutes ago. Maybe it's the stress, I'll have Severus take a look at him afterwards. Well anyway, what do you say?"
Draco and Hermione looked at each other.
"The honeymoon," they both replied in unison.
"Good choice. Let's go cut the cake now."
Together they all made their way towards the fairly large, five-layer cake, when a hand reached out to halt Hermione. Stopping, she whirled around to see Seamus, Ginny, and the hooded figure seated on the pew alongside Seamus.
"Congratulations, Hermione," the figure spoke, revealing the fact that she was female.
"Thank you. But, who are you?"
Slowly, the figure pulled down her hood to reveal her aged, creasing face and gray hair. "Forgotten me already, have you?"
"PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL!!"
"Hello, Hermione," her former Transfiguration professor greeted.
"How? I don't understand, I thought-"
"Voldemort invited me. Would you believe that! Thought it appropriate if some motherly figure were to be at your wedding. Wrenched me from my slaving duties down at his cellars just so I could be here." Professor McGonagall then lifted her hands to Hermione's face to show that it was bounded together by magical ropes.
"Oh, Professor, I'm sorry!" With that, Hermione pulled her old teacher into a tight hug, plain glad to see a trusting familiar face after so long.
"Don't be, Miss Granger- I will never call you by your scum of a husband's last name- but it is life during these dark times. Well, I don't have long. I'm to automatically Disapparate back to my cellar in a few minutes. But I just wanted to tell you to take care of yourself. We don't know what Voldemort is up to- I fear for your safety."
"I will take care, Professor, don't you worry. I'll kill Malfoy before he even touches me," Hermione declared.
"Good. I must leave now. You take care too, Mr. Finnigan and Miss Weasley. And look after Snape, for me, will you? Until we meet again. Long live the Alliance." After that, she was gone in a puff.
Tears began to sting in Hermione's eyes as a feeling nostalgia floated around inside her.
Seeing this, Seamus and Ginny drew her in for a group hug.
"It'll be okay, we'll make it out of this victorious," Seamus tried to reassure them.
"Yes, we will, won't we Hermione?" Ginny put in.
Hermione nodded, though she wasn't entirely sure.
"Hurry up, wife, we haven't got all day!" came the aggravated shout of Draco Malfoy from behind the wedding cake, spoiling their sentimental moment.
"I guess you oughta go now. I have to get back to my duties, anyway," Seamus said.
"Same here," agreed Ginny. "Have a safe trip, Hermione, and don't let Malfoy get to you! Remember, we need him!"
With that, her two friends went bustling about their business before Narcissa caught them slacking off on their duties. Sighing-she seemed to be doing a lot of that today- she continued on her way towards the cake.
"Finally, woman, you sure take your time," grumbled Malfoy. Hermione noted that he no longer called her Granger, but 'wife' then 'woman'. Interesting.
Narcissa handed them a long knife.
"Lovely guests! Now's the time for the bride and groom to cut their cake!" Narcissa announced.
Soon, a small crowd gathered around Draco and Hermione. Slowly, they both placed their hands on the knife and cut through their first slice. Everybody clapped customarily.
Narcissa then enchanted the knife so that it began to cut the other slices by itself, so that the guests may have their share.
"Now, I regret to inform you that the bride and groom will be leaving for their surprise honeymoon now!" Narcissa announced some more.
However, nobody seemed to care, and kept on gobbling down their cakes.
"As I said, the bride and groom will be leaving now, and the bride will also be throwing her bouquet!"
That caught some attention. Pansy Parkinson rushed forward instantly.
"It's mine!" she growled.
"Good, have it!" Hermione growled back and threw her bouquet at Pansy. It hit the other girl smack in the face.
"Ow!"
"Pansy!" cried Draco. "Are you okay?" he asked, rushing to his former fiancée.
"Who cares," snarled Hermione. When Malfoy didn't budge, she yanked his arm and began dragging him away from the gardens, turning round the house towards the front gate.
"Slow down! Easy, witch!"
So now its 'wife', 'woman,' and 'witch' instead of 'Granger'…
Hermione, however, refused to stop, and stomped harder towards the carriage. She wanted to get out of this place as fast as she could, even if it meant going with Malfoy alone. She didn't care what anyone said. If he turned out to be too big of a pain to handle, she'd just exterminate him.
**
Voldemort appeared once more into that dark, cold chamber.
His favorite Seer of the moment immediately greeted him.
"Welcome back, Lord. I trust they are successfully married?" she asked.
"Yes. They should be on their honeymoon shortly."
"That was such a brilliant idea, my Lord. First marriage, then honeymoon."
"All ideas that you foresaw, were they not?"
The Seer gave a dewy smile. "Why, of course, your Grace."
"Amazingly, I trust your Sight. This plan had better work."
"It will, sire, it definitely will. They will fall in love, and you will be eternally invincible."
**
Upon reaching the flying carriage, all courtesy of Voldemort, Hermione and Draco heard Narcissa running after them.
"I just wanted to say a little farewell before you left," she said, once she neared them.
"This will be the worst trip ever, Mother," Draco bluntly stated.
"Perhaps, but do try to get better acquainted, alright? Who knows how long you two will remain married, and I don't want any homicidal thoughts between the two of you now, do you hear?"
The two nodded solemnly.
"Right. Your luggage have already been loaded into the carriage, and I believe your destination is in an envelope on the seat inside."
Hermione opened the carriage door and peered in. Sure enough, a white envelope was lying on the cushion. She deftly picked it up and brought it out. Tearing it open, a small piece of parchment dropped out, with words written on it in Middle-English calligraphy.
"Well? Where are we going?" demanded Draco.
With the parchment in hand, Hermione started reading it.
" 'Congratulations! The great Lord Voldemort has awarded his most promising newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Draco Malfoy, an all-expense paid, two-week honeymoon at one of Europe's finest and most mysterious castles in the heart of…' " Hermione's voice caught and she trailed off.
Narcissa and Draco watched as Hermione's eyes bulged in terror and stupefaction.
"What? What is it? Where are we going??" Draco demanded anxiously.
Hermione looked up at him with a horror-stricken face.
"TRANSYLVANIA!"
**
A/N: Ahhh, this chap was much better when I was planning it in my head. *frowns* In any case, it has taken me forever to complete. I realize it got a bit dry around the wedding and afterwards (actually in so many parts, I think), and some parts seem kind of silly, and I apologize profusely for that. I mean, that's kinda what happens to me when I write really long chapters such as this one. So now I feel totally bummed that I've let you guys down. Boo. Anyway, I hope you managed to enjoy it somewhat…did you? I was trying to incorporate in a lot of things at once here in this chap…like Snape's first revenge (which I promised for last chap but didn't get around to)…which wasn't as horrible as I'd like, so he'll get a bigger revenge next time…as well as more clues as to why Voldie wants Draco and Hermione to marry.
Anyway, how was it, overall? Liked it? Hated it? You know what to do! Review!!!! And please do, I've gotten this far because of them! A lot of you have given me great ideas, I welcome them all! So if you got any ideas, do let me know in your reviews, yeah?
Teasers for next chap:
Warning: Madness makes a full return in the next chap.
Also many cameos coming up. Including…a certain eternal resident of Transylvania…who oh who could I be possibly talking about? In addition, a brief appearance will be made by our favorite Gryffindor hero…yes, he finally makes his entrance into this story in the next chap (though that's just the beginning)! Oh, and Hermione is about to scare Draco badly…real badly…stay tuned to find out what the hell I am talking about.
* thanks again, Phoenix Flight! :D:D
That's it for now!
Peace!
~ smashing sugar ~