Level 3-Crouching Ren, Hidden Bean
Ren and Bean closed the door to Ren's room. Ren collapsed on the bed and started to cry. Bean moved over and put his hand on her shoulder. He was feeling terrible, but Ren needed comfort. He thought of speaking, but demurred. Talk would come later.
A short while later, Ren recovered. She looked at Bean.
"We're getting Tawny back." said Ren.
Bean smiled. He loved the normal Ren.
"There's a dreamcatcher in your shirt pocket." said Bean.
Ren pulled out the dreamcatcher and inspected it. It had a paper wrapped around it. Ren removed it and saw it had writing. She read it to Bean.
"If Tawny is in trouble, please read the incantation on the dreamcatcher and help will come. Signed Holly, Rose and Alissa."
"Cool." said Bean. "Let's do it."
"Ok." said Ren, sounding dubious. "Here goes."
"'Zippty bam, zippty bop, zippty boo, '"
"'May the Great Bird of the Galaxy fly away with you.''
"Huh?" asked Bean.
"So not what I expected." stated Ren.
Both Ren and Bean felt a strange sensation of dislocation. The surroundings went dark. Then the darkness faded.
"Cool, Ren!" exclaimed Bean. "You teleported us to my house."
"I did?" asked Ren.
Two people walked into the room.
"Mom, Dad!" said Bean
"Welcome, Ren Stevens." said Bean's mother. "You are seeking Tawny."
"Yes." replied Ren.
"We will help you." spoke Bean's father. "As you brother Lewis has imagined, we are aliens. We have technology to make us look human so that we may hide among you."
"Ok." said Ren. "But why Tawny and I?"
"Because you and her are important to us. Tawny will be President and you will be her chief of staff. She will be the first woman President and you the first female chief of staff. You both will preside over first contact. We are the race you will contact."
"That's heavy." said Ren.
"It is also time for Bean's coming of age ceremony." added his father. "He must go on a quest. That quest is the rescue of Tawny."
Bean replied with burst of words in his alien tongue.
"That was 'yes, sir' in English." stated his mother.
Bean's parents loaded Ren and Bean with alien gadgets.
"Go forth to victory." said both of Bean's parents. Then Ren and Bean were back in the Stevens house.
"Neato." said Bean.
"I'm not used to the alien stuff." said Ren. "So give me a little time to recover."
"Sure." replied Bean.
After awhile Ren said,
"Let's do it."
"Ok." replied Ren.
"Put your hands on the device and think about what you need to rescue Tawny." said Bean. "You may feel strange for awhile. But it will go away."
Ren and Bean put their hands on two alien devices and thought. Ren felt tingles in her mind. The sensation spread to her body. After a time she opened her eyes.
She was no longer clad in blouse and skirt. Instead she wore form fitting black sweatpants, a black T-shirt and black tennis shoes. Over her back a boken (wooden Japanese sword) was slung. Her belt was brimming with useful spy gadgets.
"Cool!" exclaimed Bean.
"What's all this stuff?" she asked.
"Useful gadgets." answered Bean. 'Don't worry, you know how to use them and the boken. It's inside your head."
"How about you?" asked Ren.
"Psi powers." said Bean. He gestured. Ren and her desk both rose. "And a baseball bat."
"Let's find Tawny."
Bean looked at Ren's computer. The screen flashed as he hit a series of databases rapidly. And he never touched the machine, nor did the keys move. ***
In their new location, Landtear faced Tawny.
"'My cause is just.'" he mocked. "'My Lewis will come for me.'" He paused
"Your Lewis is a pathetic moron. He and his equally stupid companion Twitty. Now there's a real twit."
"Pot, kettle, black." replied Tawny. "At least he came. And he's got something you don't have."
"Like what?" asked Landtear.
"A spine!" exploded Tawny.
"That's rich." replied Landtear. "Really rich. Since I provide telemarketing jobs for miserable people like you."
"Spare me." said Tawny scornfully. "Interrupting someone's dinner to sell them useless junk? Some job."
"It's a living." responded Landtear.
"Some living." said Tawny acidly. "All those Web sites about tormenting telemarketers? What other job has that?"
"Enough!!" screamed Landtear. "Your juvenile logic disgusts me! Let's see how much you fight after listening to hours of whiny country music. Roll tape!" ***
Ren and Bean dropped silently from the sky into an alley adjacent to the building where Tawny was.
"Just like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." remarked Ren.
Both crept to a door. Bean tried it. It was unlocked.
"Too easy." said Bean.
"I agree." replied Ren.
The two crept down a dark hallway to a door at the far end. Light seeped from the door cracks.
They burst in and saw a chair, in front of which sat a TV and video player. Ren took out her electrobinoculars and viewed the seat.
"Still warm." she said, setting the viewer to DNA analysis mode. "Tawny's DNA. She was here."
"How did they know we were coming?" asked Bean. "We flew invisibly.
"Bad luck, perhaps." said Ren.
"I've got a bad feeling about this." said Bean. Ren nodded.
They both heard a whine and saw several platforms descend from the ceiling.
"Bad guys descending from the ceiling." commented Ren. "Original."
They watched a larger platform descend as well. On it was a young woman wearing punk clothes and excessive makeup. She spoke.
"Greetings Renbo and Beanstomper. We meet for the first time."
"Why do they always have to be so melodramatic?" sighed Ren.
"I am Avril of Landtear." said the young woman. "Resistance is futile. You will be telemarketed."
"Up yours!" shouted Bean "Foolish child!" roared Avril of Landtear. "You will become one with the Kenny."
"No." replied Ren.
"Who are you to speak like that?" demanded Avril of Landtear.
"I'm your worst nightmare." said Ren, drawing her boken.
"My skater boys will teach you manners." boomed Avril of Landtear. "Seize them!"
A horde of teen boys on skates charged Ren and Bean. Ren selected the leader and leapt high. She twisted in mid-air and stuck the leader from above. Another cut with the boken felled the leader's guard.
Bean pulled out a small cylinder and touched it at a certain spot. It extended from both ends, becoming a fighting staff. He expertly swung the staff, mowing the skater boys down like grass.
Soon Ren and Ben had knocked out all the skater boys. Both Ren and bean now stood before Avril of Landtear, weapons ready.
"Next!" called Ren.
"Insufferable insects!" bellowed Avril of Landtear. "Brittany clones, attack!!"
Secret doors slid open and in charged a horde of scantily dressed blondes.
"Houston, we have a problem." said Bean.
Ren struck fast and hard with her boken. Clones went down, but the herd seemed endless. Then one seized her weapon and disarmed her.
Ren did a high backflip and landed away from the crowd. She thought and the boken flew to her hand.
"It's clobberin time!" she exclaimed.
Ren pointed her sword outward and began to spin. When she was a spinning blur, she moved into the crowd of clones. Soon the clones flew like sparks from a wheel.
Bean was almost overwhelmed. His fighting stick mowed the clones down like grass, but still they came.
He crouched and thought. A wave of telekinetic force propelled Bean up. The clones that had been piling on burst away like water ejected from a fountain. He twisted and saw a tower from which many clones issued. The replicator. He thought again and flew toward the replicator tower, fighting stick extended like a spear. The pole struck the tower, wrecking it. White sparks gushed from ruined machinery.
Ren's dervish move was working. The clones tossed aside by her boken now crashed into other clones and clearing the way. The way to Avril of Landtear.
Ren came to a clear space and stopped her spin. A trail of unconscious clones lay behind her. Bean was neutralizing the rest.
"Don't make this complicated." she said. "Surrender now."
"Never!" she roared.
"As you wish." responded Ren. Ren charged
Avril of Landtear whipped out two large barrel full auto handguns and fired. A swarm of high velocity hockey pucks headed for Ren.
Ren saw the pucks coming as a horde of black blurs. Then they slowed to a crawl. She saw the rippling of the shock waves torn in the air by the projectile's passage. It was easy to dodge most and parry a few with her weapon.
Avril of Landtear swung the weapons to track Ren in slow motion. Ren struck the right gun with her boken and it lazily fell. Another stroke dispatched the left weapon. A flying kick sent Avril of Landtear to the floor. Ren landed slowly, drift down as if wearing a parachute. Then time resumed its normal flow.
"Had enough?" asked Ren.
Avril of Landtear tried to rise. Ren clubbed her down.
"I guess not." said Ren.
Avril of Landtear tried to get up, but could not. Ren reached in her tool belt and pulled out a makeup remover cloth.
"Let's see what's under there." she said, wiping Avril of Landtear's cheek. The flesh melted where the cloth had touched her face.
"I'm melting!" screamed Avril of Landtear.
Ren and Bean watched in horror as Avril of Landtear melted down.
"Let's go, Ren." said Bean.
Ren and Bean closed the door to Ren's room. Ren collapsed on the bed and started to cry. Bean moved over and put his hand on her shoulder. He was feeling terrible, but Ren needed comfort. He thought of speaking, but demurred. Talk would come later.
A short while later, Ren recovered. She looked at Bean.
"We're getting Tawny back." said Ren.
Bean smiled. He loved the normal Ren.
"There's a dreamcatcher in your shirt pocket." said Bean.
Ren pulled out the dreamcatcher and inspected it. It had a paper wrapped around it. Ren removed it and saw it had writing. She read it to Bean.
"If Tawny is in trouble, please read the incantation on the dreamcatcher and help will come. Signed Holly, Rose and Alissa."
"Cool." said Bean. "Let's do it."
"Ok." said Ren, sounding dubious. "Here goes."
"'Zippty bam, zippty bop, zippty boo, '"
"'May the Great Bird of the Galaxy fly away with you.''
"Huh?" asked Bean.
"So not what I expected." stated Ren.
Both Ren and Bean felt a strange sensation of dislocation. The surroundings went dark. Then the darkness faded.
"Cool, Ren!" exclaimed Bean. "You teleported us to my house."
"I did?" asked Ren.
Two people walked into the room.
"Mom, Dad!" said Bean
"Welcome, Ren Stevens." said Bean's mother. "You are seeking Tawny."
"Yes." replied Ren.
"We will help you." spoke Bean's father. "As you brother Lewis has imagined, we are aliens. We have technology to make us look human so that we may hide among you."
"Ok." said Ren. "But why Tawny and I?"
"Because you and her are important to us. Tawny will be President and you will be her chief of staff. She will be the first woman President and you the first female chief of staff. You both will preside over first contact. We are the race you will contact."
"That's heavy." said Ren.
"It is also time for Bean's coming of age ceremony." added his father. "He must go on a quest. That quest is the rescue of Tawny."
Bean replied with burst of words in his alien tongue.
"That was 'yes, sir' in English." stated his mother.
Bean's parents loaded Ren and Bean with alien gadgets.
"Go forth to victory." said both of Bean's parents. Then Ren and Bean were back in the Stevens house.
"Neato." said Bean.
"I'm not used to the alien stuff." said Ren. "So give me a little time to recover."
"Sure." replied Bean.
After awhile Ren said,
"Let's do it."
"Ok." replied Ren.
"Put your hands on the device and think about what you need to rescue Tawny." said Bean. "You may feel strange for awhile. But it will go away."
Ren and Bean put their hands on two alien devices and thought. Ren felt tingles in her mind. The sensation spread to her body. After a time she opened her eyes.
She was no longer clad in blouse and skirt. Instead she wore form fitting black sweatpants, a black T-shirt and black tennis shoes. Over her back a boken (wooden Japanese sword) was slung. Her belt was brimming with useful spy gadgets.
"Cool!" exclaimed Bean.
"What's all this stuff?" she asked.
"Useful gadgets." answered Bean. 'Don't worry, you know how to use them and the boken. It's inside your head."
"How about you?" asked Ren.
"Psi powers." said Bean. He gestured. Ren and her desk both rose. "And a baseball bat."
"Let's find Tawny."
Bean looked at Ren's computer. The screen flashed as he hit a series of databases rapidly. And he never touched the machine, nor did the keys move. ***
In their new location, Landtear faced Tawny.
"'My cause is just.'" he mocked. "'My Lewis will come for me.'" He paused
"Your Lewis is a pathetic moron. He and his equally stupid companion Twitty. Now there's a real twit."
"Pot, kettle, black." replied Tawny. "At least he came. And he's got something you don't have."
"Like what?" asked Landtear.
"A spine!" exploded Tawny.
"That's rich." replied Landtear. "Really rich. Since I provide telemarketing jobs for miserable people like you."
"Spare me." said Tawny scornfully. "Interrupting someone's dinner to sell them useless junk? Some job."
"It's a living." responded Landtear.
"Some living." said Tawny acidly. "All those Web sites about tormenting telemarketers? What other job has that?"
"Enough!!" screamed Landtear. "Your juvenile logic disgusts me! Let's see how much you fight after listening to hours of whiny country music. Roll tape!" ***
Ren and Bean dropped silently from the sky into an alley adjacent to the building where Tawny was.
"Just like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." remarked Ren.
Both crept to a door. Bean tried it. It was unlocked.
"Too easy." said Bean.
"I agree." replied Ren.
The two crept down a dark hallway to a door at the far end. Light seeped from the door cracks.
They burst in and saw a chair, in front of which sat a TV and video player. Ren took out her electrobinoculars and viewed the seat.
"Still warm." she said, setting the viewer to DNA analysis mode. "Tawny's DNA. She was here."
"How did they know we were coming?" asked Bean. "We flew invisibly.
"Bad luck, perhaps." said Ren.
"I've got a bad feeling about this." said Bean. Ren nodded.
They both heard a whine and saw several platforms descend from the ceiling.
"Bad guys descending from the ceiling." commented Ren. "Original."
They watched a larger platform descend as well. On it was a young woman wearing punk clothes and excessive makeup. She spoke.
"Greetings Renbo and Beanstomper. We meet for the first time."
"Why do they always have to be so melodramatic?" sighed Ren.
"I am Avril of Landtear." said the young woman. "Resistance is futile. You will be telemarketed."
"Up yours!" shouted Bean "Foolish child!" roared Avril of Landtear. "You will become one with the Kenny."
"No." replied Ren.
"Who are you to speak like that?" demanded Avril of Landtear.
"I'm your worst nightmare." said Ren, drawing her boken.
"My skater boys will teach you manners." boomed Avril of Landtear. "Seize them!"
A horde of teen boys on skates charged Ren and Bean. Ren selected the leader and leapt high. She twisted in mid-air and stuck the leader from above. Another cut with the boken felled the leader's guard.
Bean pulled out a small cylinder and touched it at a certain spot. It extended from both ends, becoming a fighting staff. He expertly swung the staff, mowing the skater boys down like grass.
Soon Ren and Ben had knocked out all the skater boys. Both Ren and bean now stood before Avril of Landtear, weapons ready.
"Next!" called Ren.
"Insufferable insects!" bellowed Avril of Landtear. "Brittany clones, attack!!"
Secret doors slid open and in charged a horde of scantily dressed blondes.
"Houston, we have a problem." said Bean.
Ren struck fast and hard with her boken. Clones went down, but the herd seemed endless. Then one seized her weapon and disarmed her.
Ren did a high backflip and landed away from the crowd. She thought and the boken flew to her hand.
"It's clobberin time!" she exclaimed.
Ren pointed her sword outward and began to spin. When she was a spinning blur, she moved into the crowd of clones. Soon the clones flew like sparks from a wheel.
Bean was almost overwhelmed. His fighting stick mowed the clones down like grass, but still they came.
He crouched and thought. A wave of telekinetic force propelled Bean up. The clones that had been piling on burst away like water ejected from a fountain. He twisted and saw a tower from which many clones issued. The replicator. He thought again and flew toward the replicator tower, fighting stick extended like a spear. The pole struck the tower, wrecking it. White sparks gushed from ruined machinery.
Ren's dervish move was working. The clones tossed aside by her boken now crashed into other clones and clearing the way. The way to Avril of Landtear.
Ren came to a clear space and stopped her spin. A trail of unconscious clones lay behind her. Bean was neutralizing the rest.
"Don't make this complicated." she said. "Surrender now."
"Never!" she roared.
"As you wish." responded Ren. Ren charged
Avril of Landtear whipped out two large barrel full auto handguns and fired. A swarm of high velocity hockey pucks headed for Ren.
Ren saw the pucks coming as a horde of black blurs. Then they slowed to a crawl. She saw the rippling of the shock waves torn in the air by the projectile's passage. It was easy to dodge most and parry a few with her weapon.
Avril of Landtear swung the weapons to track Ren in slow motion. Ren struck the right gun with her boken and it lazily fell. Another stroke dispatched the left weapon. A flying kick sent Avril of Landtear to the floor. Ren landed slowly, drift down as if wearing a parachute. Then time resumed its normal flow.
"Had enough?" asked Ren.
Avril of Landtear tried to rise. Ren clubbed her down.
"I guess not." said Ren.
Avril of Landtear tried to get up, but could not. Ren reached in her tool belt and pulled out a makeup remover cloth.
"Let's see what's under there." she said, wiping Avril of Landtear's cheek. The flesh melted where the cloth had touched her face.
"I'm melting!" screamed Avril of Landtear.
Ren and Bean watched in horror as Avril of Landtear melted down.
"Let's go, Ren." said Bean.