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Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 17
(Content Warning: This chapter contains non-graphic, somewhat ambiguous description of assault.)
The Normandy SR2
The installation of the Normandy's new Thanix Cannons was taking slightly longer than he'd expected, but Garrus was very satisfied with the projected increase of the Normandy's fire power capabilities. He'd been working on it for the better part of a week since Shepard had requisitioned the parts he'd requested, and it was good to finally see it starting to come together.
The Thanix Cannons had been a peculiar and sudden jump forward in turian weapons technology, and Garrus couldn't help but find the timing a tad suspicious, given their development directly following the Battle of the Citadel and the ensuing clean up and salvage efforts. Regardless, they were an amazing piece of technology and would play an important role in ensuring their survival during their mission, so he wasn't going to complain.
The door wooshed open, and given the time, Garrus smiled, knowing who it probably was without having to look up from his work. He was currently wedged into an awkward position as he installed a particularly tricky component, but he felt his brows jump up as he heard a different set of footsteps than he expected.
Click, click, click-
"Garrus?" Jane called out from the vicinity of the door, and he felt himself relax. Extracting himself, he carefully stood and turned. His greeting died as he took in her attire.
Jane stood before him wearing the same little black dress from the Donovan Hock incident when she'd helped Shepard retrieve Kasumi's partner's gray box. She crossed her arms and jutted out one hip smugly as his eyes wandered down to take in the pair of black high heeled shoes that elevated her ever so slightly.
"What do you think? How do I look?" Jane asked with an amused smile and he couldn't help but grin back at her as he wiped his hands clean on a rag he'd tucked in his pocket.
"You know perfectly well that you look amazing in that dress." Garrus stated as he slowly approached where she stood before the control console, tossing the dirty rag on a nearby crate before stopping in front of her.
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I don't like hearing you say it." She laughed as she closed the space between them, tracing a few fingers lightly up his forearms where he'd rolled his sleeves up. "Or, if you like," She whispered, drawing nearer as he wrapped his arms around her waist, "You can tell me how good my hair looks and how supportive my waist is."
Garrus groaned as his head dropped onto her shoulder, heat creeping up his neck at the memory of his own words on the last occasion she'd worn that dress.
"Can't we just pretend that never happened?" He mumbled into her neck and he felt more than heard her chuckle at that.
"I don't know, I thought it was pretty cute." She murmured, causing him to lift his head up, rolling his eyes affectionately.
"Yeah, because turians definitely love being thought of as cute." Garrus replied dryly, "It's the adjective of choice for all apex predators, afterall."
"Apex predator, huh?" Jane asked as she looked up at him, her eyes laden with challenge, "I don't know, you don't seem all that intimidating to me, Big Guy." He felt himself draw up at her words, his mandibles flaring as he grinned in a way that he knew made many humans nervous.
"Is that so?" Garrus purred, giving Jane a heartbeat before gripping her firmly and spinning them around. In the same movement, he lifted her up, depositing her on the control console. "And here I was thinking humans felt a little weary of our talons-" He let his fingers trail up her thigh, his talons pressing ever so slightly into her skin, "and our teeth." He leaned in close to give her shoulder a light nip, smirking when he heard her gasp.
"Ah, good point." Jane said after a moment, one eyebrow raised as a corner of her lips curled upwards. She carefully grasped one of his hands, bringing it close to her lips, "But then again, I know for a fact that you file your talons down just for me."
Garrus' breath hitched as her soft, pink tongue darted out to slowly swipe up the pad of his thumb before flicking over his dulled talon. Then, in a flash, she took the entirety of the tip of his thumb into her mouth, sucking on it lightly in a way that made his hips jerk forward involuntarily. He groaned, but then just as suddenly, she released his thumb with a quiet pop.
"Spirits." He muttered as he leaned into her, his fingers trailing down her neck, dipping down to graze the soft flesh peeking out through the black dress's cutout before dropping to the hem of her dress. Slowly, he began inching it up her thighs as he fought the desperation to get as close to her as he possibly could. Jane took his face in her hands, guiding him closer so that she could kiss him, her lips and tongue warm and inviting.
Without warning, she pulled away a minute or two later, her breathing fast and uneven to match his own, her pupils dilated as she gazed at him.
"Sorry to be a buzzkill," Jane murmured as she leaned forward to nuzzle her forehead against his, causing him to hum happily, "But I can't stick around, and I definitely can't let you mess up my outfit. Kasumi spent a little too much time getting me ready for me to let it go to waste."
"Uh-huh." Garrus let his hands wander up her hips until they came to rest on her bottom. Gripping her, he pulled her even closer to him, causing her to gasp. He pressed another kiss to her, and she moaned softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Okay, seriously though. I do need to go. I can't stay and play this time." Jane said breathlessly as she pulled away, and with a sigh Garrus reluctantly took a half step back. His fingers trailed down her thighs lightly, causing her to shiver before she slid forward off the control console, landing shakily on her feet. "I'll, uh-" She readjusted her skirt, pulling it back down to cover herself properly, "I'll let you get back to work."
"Riiight. 'Cause I'm in a great place to be optimizing firing algorithms right now." Garrus drawled as she smirked, the door opening as she turned to leave. "Not that I'm complaining, but-" He called out as she took a step, causing her to look back at him, "What's the occasion for the outfit?" Jane looked at him oddly at the question, as though he should know.
"I'm heading out with Samara soon to go to the club. You remember, to help her draw out the Ardat-Yakshi? I thought you were coming along for that as back up?"
Garrus froze, his eyes widening as his previous warmth evaporated in an instant to be replaced by a cold dread. The same dread he felt every time he let himself think about this spirits-forsaken mission.
"You're going… dressed like that?"
"What? I thought you said I looked good." Jane raised a skeptical eyebrow at him as she crossed her arms. Garrus' mouth flailed for a moment as it struggled to keep up with his racing thoughts.
"You do... I did-" He brought a hand up to his face in frustration before taking a breath and continuing, "I thought you were going in your hard suit and properly armed, not dressed-" He gestured to her outfit, "like this." Both her eyebrows jumped up at that, and he could almost hear the scorn on the tip of her tongue. "Spirits, Jane, she's a serial killer. I thought you were going in properly armed and prepared."
"We are prepared, Garrus." Jane seemed to relax, her shoulders loosening as she stepped back into the main battery. "I'm not going to be alone, Samara is going to be watching my every step. And I had been under the impression that you and John had insisted on being nearby as backup, as well. I trust you guys, and I'm not exactly defenseless, even without a weapon." She shrugged, a small smile back on her face, "I thought you'd sparred against me enough times to know that." Garrus clenched his jaw, his discomfort at the situation struggling to overpower his reason.
"I know. I know, you're right. I'm just… nervous." He gestured back to his console, "I've been doing a little digging since our initial investigation last night. It was hard to find anything, but what I did find… Jane, these Ardat-Yakshi… They're scary. Samara wasn't joking around."
Garrus didn't know what to add to that, struggling to find words to properly describe the dread building in his chest.
"I agree." Jane looked down for a moment before glancing back up at him, her face set. "But I trust you guys to watch my back. And, just as importantly, I trust Samara to stop Morinth before things go too far." As gratified as Garrus felt to hear of her trust in him, it was far outweighed by his inability to agree with her about Samara. From what he knew of Justicars, he wasn't quite as sure she would choose protecting Jane over catching her prey.
"Well, just for the record, I think this is a horrible idea." Garrus closed the gap between them, pulling her into a hug, "Let's just hope I don't have to say 'I told you so' when this is all over."
Garrus' already sour mood darkened further when they stepped foot back on Omega a little later that day. Every time he stepped foot there, all the progress he'd made since choosing to spare Sidonis seemed to inch backwards, his mindset reverting as he struggled to get the faces of his dead teammates out of his mind.
The day before they'd investigated the home of Morinth's latest victim, learning enough for Jane and Samara to feel comfortable setting the trap. But Garrus couldn't shake the feeling that nothing good ever happened on Omega.
"I don't like this, Shepard." Garrus growled quietly as the two men followed after the other two, and Shepard nodded his head grimly.
"I'm with you. Nothing about this plan sits well with me." Shepard replied tersely, "I wish I could have talked Samara into letting me be the bait, but she and Jane both seem set on this. And what with Jane being a goddamn-" He mouthed the word 'Spectre', "I can't exactly forbid her from doing something like this. Not that she'd listen, anyway. When she gets it into her mind that she's going to do something, nothing stops her."
As they weaved amongst the patrons of Afterlife, making their way toward the VIP section, Garrus couldn't help but notice the occasional glances Jane attracted. In her black dress instead of her usual armor, Jane seemed like any other woman in the club, there for a few drinks and a good time. Shepard seemed to notice the looks she was getting too, and his expression seemed to darken by the moment.
"I hate this." Shepard spat, "I hate that she's going to be a carrot on a stick, just waiting for a goddamn serial killer to come snap her up. She's not a biotic, she has no defense against someone like this. But she won't listen."
Before they knew it, they were standing outside the VIP section and Samara was attempting to reiterate how dangerous Morinth was. They reviewed what they knew of her and what Jane was going to have to say when they met. Garrus and Shepard were going to head in first, find themselves a booth and keep watch while Jane went in alone not long after. Samara would then keep an eye on her from the shadows until it was time for her to strike.
Garrus chanced a look at Jane before leaving, and she smiled at him in what he assumed was meant to be a reassuring manner. He tried to smile back at her, but he felt as though it probably looked more like a grimace.
"Are you sure about this?" He asked quietly, and she nodded firmly. After a pause, he nodded back and turned to follow Shepard into the club.
The VIP room had a very different feel than the rest of the club. The lighting was darker, the music headier, the people more sedate. A low buzz of conversation seemed to permeate the room instead of the loud, drunken shouts of the bar upstairs. Garrus could see why Morinth preferred this atmosphere to conduct her hunts, it seemed to draw an entirely different crowd.
He followed Shepard to a booth perfectly situated to watch most of the room, sliding into the seat across from the other man. They ordered drinks, but neither planned on indulging that night. Not when Jane's life was on the line.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, each scanning the room. Garrus wasn't sure if Shepard, too, was watching for a demon haunting the corners, but he wouldn't have bet against it. Tension creeped up his spine, each shadow seeming to shift and transform into phantasms before he could blink them away again. As the minutes inched on, he finally gave in to the need for distracting conversation.
"So," Garrus began, continuing with all the tact of a freighter, "How's it going with you and Tali?" Shepard spluttered at the sudden, unexpected question, his eyes widening as he stared at Garrus.
"What?" Shepard looked away, his hands coming up to rub his neck uncomfortably before continuing, "Er, no, I…," He trailed off, his face seeming to fall slightly before slipping behind a mask of neutrality. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He stated offhandedly in a way that would have screamed liar even if he hadn't been starting to flush a delicate pink, visible even in the dim lighting.
"Suuuure." Garrus raised a brow plate at him before looking away to scan the room again, "Guess it was just my imagination, then." He added after a beat, letting the unconvinced words hang between them.
"There's nothing going on between us, you don't have to worry." Shepard grunted, his face suddenly drawn and tight, his eyes refusing to meet Garrus'. Garrus cocked his head in confusion as he looked back to the Commander.
"Worry about…? What would I be worried about?" He asked hesitantly, honest confusion written across his face. Shepard's eyes finally met his, the other man's brows drawing down in confusion of his own.
"I thought… Are you and Tali not…?"
"Are Tali and I what? What are you-" Garrus cut himself off as realization washed over him, his eyes widening. Understanding cemented into place and he couldn't stop his mandibles from flicking with amusement. "Wait, did you think Tali and I were together?" He asked incredulously, watching as Shepard's expression became unreadable, his shoulders loosening.
"So… you guys aren't together? I-" Shepard cut himself off as he brought a hand up to his forehead, "Shit, Garrus, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed. The other day I overheard one of the crew mentioning that they'd seen you on a date during shore leave, and I just lept to conclusions."
Shepard brought his hand down, his face relieved and somewhat more relaxed. "Well. That's good." He continued, a small smile appearing on his face for a moment. Then, he focused back on Garrus with a grin so reminiscent of Jane's that Garrus was forced to remember that they were, in fact, siblings. "Okay, but then if Tali isn't who they were talking about, who was it that you were out on a date with?" Garrus felt his shoulders tense at the sudden change in the line of questioning.
"Oh, uh-"
"It's Jane." Shepard interrupted in a quiet hiss and Garrus' jaw popped open, but it snapped shut again as he noticed Shepard's sudden return to seriousness, his gaze having shot to the door across the room. Turning slightly, Garrus felt his stomach tighten with anxiety as he recognized Jane where she stood in the entrance to the VIP lounge.
For not the first time, her beauty struck him like a hammerblow to the gut. He'd seen plenty of other human women over the years, he knew she wouldn't be considered the epitome of beauty standards by some. She was about as different from a turian woman as it was possible to be. And yet, she had the ability to make his knees weak, his mouth dry, and his heart race by doing nothing more complex than entering the room.
Jane's gaze swept across the bar, lingering on their table for maybe half a second before continuing on. She slowly made her way to the bar, her hips swaying in a way he rarely got the pleasure of seeing, and never in public.
"At least she seems confident." Shepard muttered as they tried their best not to watch her too closely.
"When doesn't she?" Garrus chuckled, and they watched as she quickly downed something that looked like it burned before heading toward the dance floor. Soon, she was dancing up close and personal with an asari in a way that made Garrus feel more than a little envious. And surprised. "I'm not sure I've ever seen Jane dance when she wasn't, err…"
"Plastered?" Shepard finished for him with a snort, rolling his eyes as he leaned back on his couch, draping an arm over the back of it while crossing one ankle up over his knee in a pose that looked more relaxed than he knew Shepard felt.
"Yeah," Garrus chuckled, nodding his head, "I just assumed she couldn't dance, but she's not that bad when she's a bit more sober." Shepard laughed as well, shaking his head.
"She likes to joke that I can't dance, she just won't dance… unless drunk." He added, his annoyed expression belying his feelings on the matter. Garrus leveled a dry stare at him, his mandibles flicking again.
"Well, I mean… She's not wrong."
"Hey!" Shepard cried, his face indignant despite his smile, "I can dance just fine, thank you."
"Uh-huh. We've all seen you try." Garrus let the words linger before adding, "No comment." They shared a laugh, and he continued a minute later, "I mean, it makes sense. You can drive like a sane person, while I would never voluntarily get in a car with Jane without a helmet unless it was an emergency. I guess one Shepard couldn't end up with all the talent."
"Ha! Okay, that's fair." They shared another laugh, but cut off abruptly at the sound of raised voices from the dance floor. It was hard to see exactly what was happening, but Jane seemed to be staring down a drunk looking turian, an asari dancer looking on nervously.
"-don't care if it's you or this bitch, I just like good times." The turian stated loudly enough that the words manage to carry across to them before he moved in toward Jane, who's stance changed almost imperceptibly. But Garrus recognized it with a knowing smirk.
The fight was over before it really started. A few well placed blows by Jane had the man doubled over, and it didn't take much after that for her to get a good grip on him, flipping him over her shoulder and onto the ground as he screamed.
Jane sneered down at the man with cold eyes, saying something that was lost in the din of the music. She looked over to the nearby asari, who seemed to be thanking her, before dusting her hands and leaving the dance floor. But not without a quick glance over her shoulder, leaving them with a small smirk and a wink before turning and making her way back toward the bar.
"Show off." Shepard scoffed with an affectionate eye roll as he pretended to take a sip of his drink. At the bar, Jane picked up another glass, though this one appeared to be one for sipping, which she did as she started walking slowly through the room, her eyes scanning and evaluating as she went.
Garrus was about to agree with Shepard when he noticed Jane come to a stop not too far off, her eyes narrowing as she noticed two turians sitting in the corner. She was close enough to them that she could probably make out what they were talking about, and from the quickly darkening expression on her face, she didn't approve. After a moment, she took a few steps closer to the pair, finishing her drink off before placing it on a nearby table and stopping before them, her arms crossed.
They apparently didn't like what she had to say much either, because in an instant they were on their feet and approaching her, their stances aggressive and angry. Both Garrus and Shepard were a breath away from standing to assist her when one of the turians reached out to push her back.
Jane, the N7 ranked Spectre that she was, reacted as one might have expected. Dodging the blow, she deflected with one hand while reaching up and grabbing him with the other, pulling the turian down as her knee came up to catch him hard in the soft flesh of his stomach. As he fell, his companion darted forward, aiming a punch at Jane, who dodged and returned with a punch of her own all in one movement.
The man crumpled from a single blow to midriff, and in as much time as it took to blink, Jane stood looking down at two groaning turians at her feet, her expression less than impressed. As she carefully picked her way over the prone forms, Shepard couldn't help but chuckle.
"Someday, she's going to run into a problem she can't solve with violence and she's not going to know what to do with herself." He muttered after a moment, his smile melting. "That's part of why this whole mission has me feeling uneasy. I don't think Jane realizes how vulnerable she is against a biotic when she's unarmed. You can't just punch your way out of a…"
Shepard trailed off as Jane stopped, her attention having been grabbed by… someone. Garrus could see Jane speaking to someone standing partially encased in shadows across the room from them, but it was hard to make out details. Whoever it was, an asari he was almost certain, took her hand and led her to a booth situated in a dark corner of the lounge.
"Shit. I think that's her. Morinth." Garrus breathed, his heart suddenly hammering in his chest. He'd never really thought of Jane as small before, but suddenly it was impossible to ignore as she lowered herself into the booth alongside the biotic murderer. Somehow, even with all their sparring matches, the battles they'd gone into side by side, even in their more intimate moments together, her stature had never seemed anything less than larger than life. But now…
Now Jane seemed so unbelievably exposed and defenseless. Her absolute mortality seemed to crash into him, and in that moment, despite her battle prowess, extensive training, and considerable experience, Jane seemed as fragile as glass. A single misstep, and he could lose her in an instant.
It was hard for both him and Shepard to watch what was happening at the same time without it being obvious that they were staring, so they wordlessly worked out a rotation so that one of them had eyes on her at all times.
Time became hard to judge as the minutes passed, sometimes seeming to creep, sometimes seeming to fly. It became increasingly difficult to watch as Jane and Morinth chatted and flirted, every brush and touch seeming significant and intentional. The memory of the night he and Jane had first gotten together was forcibly brought to mind, their sparring match interlaced with lingering touches that had been hard to misinterpret in the end. Her goal had been to draw him in, and he had been inexorably drawn. Garrus felt his jaw clench painfully. He forced the thought from his head.
It felt like they'd sat there half the night while Jane and Morinth talked, and Garrus was starting to get a feeling that the plan wasn't going to work. If Jane hadn't succeeded in catching the Ardat-Yashi's interest by now, surely she wasn't going to?
Just when he was about to voice his concerns to Shepard, however, Morinth stood and offered a hand to Jane, who took it and allowed the asari to lead her toward the exit. Shepard tensed, and Garrus could immediately tell by looking at Jane that something was wrong.
Her gait was missing its usual confidence, her expression bordering dazed and disoriented. She smiled as Morinth looked back at her to say something, and yet it seemed as though Jane's nerves were shining through in a way wholly unlike her. In the split second before she was led out of sight, she glanced back at them, something like concern or confusion in her eyes.
"Something's wrong." Garrus stood in an instant, no longer caring if they were noticed. He inched out of their booth and almost took off after them when Shepard grabbed his arm.
"I agree. But she hasn't given the signal to pull her out yet, and we need to trust her for now. Plus, look-" Shepard pointed across the room to where Samara was carefully picking her way toward the door in hot pursuit. Garrus relaxed somewhat and they waited a minute or two before following Samara out of the club.
Following the plan they'd laid out beforehand, the two men quickly acquired a skycar and followed Jane's tracking beacon to an apartment building not too far away. Shepard got out first, carefully slinking along the building's balconies until he was positioned just below one of Morinth's apartment windows. Garrus then parked the skycar on a rooftop just across from her building, pulling out his sniper rifle as he situated himself. Adjusting the scope, he quickly scanned the windows until he got a clear view into the apartment.
"In position, target spotted." He muttered into his com, his subvocals thrumming with his anxiety.
"Understood. Hold your position, wait for the signal." Shepard stated quietly through the com, and after a moment he asked, "Can you keep me updated on what's happening in there?"
"Of course. Morinth seems to be lounging on a couch. Her back is to the window, but I wouldn't chance peeking into the window just yet. Jane seems to be moving around the apartment. From what I can see, she's examining some art. They seem to be talking."
"Okay. Continue to keep me posted as-"
"Wait." Garrus interrupted suddenly, watching as the asari got up and sauntered toward Jane, her gait that of a predator on the hunt, "Morinth is moving, approaching Jane-" He felt the words hitch in his throat as Morinth lifted a hand to ghost her finger tips up Jane's arm, causing her to jump and spin, her expression surprised and startled.
Morinth's finger continued its trip up her arm, and Jane seemed to wince as it trailed up her neck, pausing on her chin as the other woman tilted her face up. They stood like that for a moment, frozen as Morinth spoke and Garrus felt something in his chest twist painfully as Jane's expression seemed to slowly waver between fear and dazed surrender.
"Shepard, I don't think-" He started, cutting off as Jane managed to pull away from the Ardat-Yakshi, taking a few steps toward the couch as she brought a hand up to cradle her head, her expression pained and uneasy. "Something is definitely wrong with Jane." Garrus stated, fear flooded his subvocals as Morinth caught Jane's hand, tugging her back and pulling her close.
"What do you mean? Did Morinth…?" Shepard trailed off, his voice urgent as he stretched up in an attempt to see into the apartment surreptitiously. Jane started to pull away, and Garrus could feel his finger tighten on the trigger. But he cursed and stayed his hand, Jane being too close to Morinth to get a safe shot. He'd never forgive himself if he messed up.
"I'm… I'm not sure. Where is Samara? It's time to end this." Garrus growled, doing his best to breathe, forcing down the strained, rising panic.
At that moment, Jane seemed to sag slightly in Morinth's arms as the asari brought a hand up to lift her chin again. Morinth closed her eyes, and when they opened again, they were as black as the void, pits opening up into nothingness.
"Shepard! She's attempting to meld with Jane, get in there! You need to stop her!" Garrus yelled into the com, his heart feeling like a gong resounding in his chest as he waited for an opportunity to take a shot. His finger itched on the trigger, but the two were so intertwined at this point that it was impossible to take the shot without risking Jane.
Samara's entrance was so sudden and seamless that he barely noticed her until her blast sent Morinth flying into the window, cracks radiating outward. Flung from the asari's grasp, Jane crumpled like a puppet with her strings cut, and as she hit the floor Garrus felt the air leave his lungs like a punch to the gut.
"Jane!"
Shepard's own biotic blast succeeded in shattering the glass completely, and within moments he was climbing into the apartment, dragging Jane's body away from the melee playing out between Samara and Morinth.
"Garrus, we need to end this!" Shepard yelled at him, and Garrus had to rip his eyes away from Jane's prone form in order to focus. Lining up his sights, he watched the battle between the two biotics, waiting for an opportunity. "Take the shot."
He pulled the trigger. Morinth shifted, blocking a blow from the Justicar, and Garrus' shot caught her in the shoulder, blood flying as she spun and crashed to the floor. In an instant, Samara was upon her, a fist shimmering with biotic energy raised in the air before smashing down upon her victim.
Without even waiting to see if the fight was truly over, Garrus had holstered his sniper rifle and dashed to the nearby skycar. Diving into the driver's seat, he quickly took to the sky and made his way toward the apartment. Details seemed to blur in his vision, sounds muffled, his body numb, nothing mattering more than haste. In a matter of heartbeats, he was leaping out of the skycar again and racing through the open door, skidding to a stop as he fell to his knees before the two humans on the floor.
"Jane…" Garrus murmured, completely disregarding the terror and grief harmonizing in his subvocals as he took in the sight before him. Shepard clutched Jane to him as she groaned, still limp in his arms, her cheeks ashen. "Is she okay?" Garrus asked, his eyes thirstily drinking every sign of life as her hand twitched, her eyelids fluttered.
"I'm not sure. She's alive, but…" Shepard trailed off as Jane groaned again, her eyes finally cracking open.
"G-Garrus?" Her green eyes stared at him blankly, glazed and uncomprehending. They flicked up to Shepard and she winced at the movement as pain seemed to lance through her. "John?"
"You're okay, you're safe." Shepard whispered as he leaned down to gently hug her, resting his cheek on her forehead for a moment before sitting back up. "How are you feeling?"
"I've… felt better." Jane muttered through gritted teeth, wincing again as she shifted slightly. Guilt gripped Garrus and he squeezed a fisted hand.
"I'm so sorry, Jane." He reached his other hand up to brush a lock of hair out of her face, letting his finger brush her cheek briefly, "I should have taken the shot when I had the chance. I shouldn't have let it get that far, I should have-"
"No." Samara stated harshly, and Garrus turned slightly to see her turn away from Morinth's bloodied body. "No, the fault lies with me, not with you, Garrus Vakarian. I should not have let it carry on so long, I should have intervened sooner."
She came over to kneel beside them, lifting one faintly glowing hand to place it delicately on Jane's forehead. "Morinth liked playing with her meals before devouring them, and I should have guessed she would indulge herself with a game or two." After a moment, Jane closed her eyes again, seeming to drift off into unconsciousness again as her body relaxed into Shepard's arms. "Whatever Morinth has put her through, she has most likely suffered a good deal of neurological strain, possibly some damage to her nervous system. Morinth was forcing her way into her mind, and I'm sure she was neither kind nor gentle." Samara looked away towards the nearby corpse before continuing, her voice softer, "You have my apologies."
"When you say she was forcing her way in… Do you mean-" Shepard swallowed, his eyes dropping to his sister as he held her closer. "Did she-" He stumbled, seeming to struggle to put his worries into words, as though giving them voice would make them real, "What she experienced, was it like-" Shepard looked back up to Samara, his eyes beseeching as he silently begged her to deny his suspicions. Garrus felt bile rising in his throat as he realized what the other man was insinuating. Samara looked down at Jane for a moment, her eyes heavy and somber before she looked away again.
"Perhaps. I doubt Morinth was trying to fully meld with her, as she rarely moves in for the kill that quickly. However, it is not unlike her to dominate someone's mind so completely that they willingly welcome the horrors she enjoys inflicting before she reaches that point. The only one who can tell you what actually happened…" Samara seemed to force her eyes from flicking back to Morinth's body, finally shutting them with a defeated sigh, "Is Jane."
Garrus struggled to remain calm as an old, half healed anger threatened to rear up and lash out. He firmly kept his hands at his side instead of reaching for Jane as he wished he could, respecting Shepard's desire to find comfort in holding his sister. Garrus wondered idly whether or not it was easier to cope with the feelings lodging in his chest knowing that the perpetrator lay dead just feet away. While it was true that she could never hurt someone like this again, damn if it wouldn't feel good to kill her with his own hands right now.
"Damn it, Jane." Shepard growled, his face scrunching up as emotion welled in his eyes, "You should have let me be the bait. I was better prepared for this than you were, I should have insisted that it be me." The words sent a jolt through Garrus, echoing back to his first few weeks after his team had been killed… Echoing back to Jane's words at Shepard's memorial. Silently, Garrus put his hand on Shepard's shoulder, offering what little support he could.
"I recommend getting her back to Doctors Chakwas and Solus as soon as possible." Samara continued a few moments later, her voice stronger, "They will be able to run the necessary tests in order to determine the extent of the damage done to her, and begin whatever treatment she requires." Shepard remained silent for a moment, his fingers tightening before he sighed, some of the tension leaving him. He looked up, his eyes hard as he held Jane up towards Garrus.
"Take her to the skycar, get her to the Normandy ASAP. I'll help Samara finish up here and we'll follow as soon as we can." He said, his voice tightly controlled as though he was fighting to contain a tangle of emotions to mirror Garrus' own.
Nodding solemnly, his own words stuck somewhere in his throat, Garrus gently took Jane into his arms, trying to not let himself be alarmed by her dead weight. As he looked down at her, he was suddenly flung back two years to their fight against Saren. He'd carried her away from the fight only to fling them both into cover when Sovereign's debris had crashed through the window.
Shaking the memories from his mind, Garrus stood and quickly made his way out of the apartment, being careful not to jostle her too much. As he carefully lowered her into the backseat of the skycar, it was hard to escape the infuriating thought that nothing good ever happened on Omega. But then he flashed back to the moment she'd first arrived in his apartment having battled her way across the bridge to save him. He vividly remembered the moment their eyes had met. Maybe not everything that happened on Omega was wholly terrible.
"Garrus, she's asking for you." Garrus heard from his vigil in the mess hall, his head snapping up to see Dr. Chakwas standing by the door to the medbay. He stood up, pushing his chair back in his haste, and hurried toward the door without a word. She caught his arm, her face firm but gentle. "You can go in to see her, but please don't stay too long. After everything, she needs rest." He nodded and she let go of his arm, allowing him to approach the door.
Garrus had spent the last two hours replaying everything that had happened that night, desperately trying to figure out what he'd done wrong, what he could have done to prevent the suffering Jane had been forced to endure. Shaking the thoughts from his head, he stepped into the medbay, but his feet froze as his eyes landed on the figure that lay on one of the beds.
Jane looked so small laying there, her vibrant hair strewn out across the pillow a contrast to her unnaturally pale skin even in the dimmed lights. She had one hand resting on her stomach, the other forearm resting across her face. She was no longer wearing the black dress, but had instead changed into a tank top and sleep pants.
Hesitantly, he took a few steps closer, and after a moment, she turned her head toward him slightly. As she smiled softly, he felt something in his chest unwind for the first time since she'd left the club with Morinth.
"Garrus." Spirits, he loved the sound of his name on her lips, but the tired, strained quality to the word made his browplates draw down in concern. He hurried the last few steps to her bedside, and she lifted the hand on her stomach slightly so that he could slip his fingers under hers to take her hand. He gave it a soft squeeze, which she reciprocated after a moment. But he could feel the slight trembling of her hand.
"Jane, are you okay?" Garrus asked quietly, and Jane nodded but looked back up toward the ceiling, her forearm still resting across her eyes. "I'm… I'm so sorry," He continued, looking down, "I should have stepped in sooner, I should have taken the shot when I had the chance. Before she…" He trailed off, scared to put words to whatever it was that she'd experienced. She tugged his hand and he looked up to see her wince in pain.
"Ah, sorry-" She shifted uncomfortably, gasping softly in pain, "Chakwas says it will be a little while before the pain fades, and my vision clears, and…" She trailed off, lifting her hand off her forehead for a moment as she watched her fingers quiver out of her control. She let her hand fall back down onto her head with a sigh, "But I'll be okay." She shifted slightly to look up at him, and Garrus noticed that her eyes seemed slightly hazy and unfocused. The guilt twisted in deeper. "Garrus, I'm going to be okay. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't anyone's fault but my own." She winced again, gripping his hand tighter, "I shouldn't have let her weasel her way into my mind. I should have resisted her better. I should have been stronger."
"Jane, that's nonsense. I don't know anyone as strong as you." She smiled at that, a smile full of despondent disbelief.
"Well, I wasn't strong enough. And she-" Jane's voice caught, her whole body tensing. After a breath, she continued, her voice tight, "I just let her-" She grit her teeth in a pained snarl, and Garrus felt alarms ringing in his mind as he noticed a shimmering wetness in her eyes.
"Shhh," He hushed, pulling their interlaced hands up so he could press an approximation of a kiss to hers, "It's okay. You don't need to tell me what happened if you're not ready to talk about it." She swallowed and nodded silently, but after a moment, she continued in a whisper.
"I just let her in, Garrus. It hurt so much and it was awful, but I just let her in and she-" She looked away, "By the end, I wanted her to. Everything she did to me. I wanted her to hurt me." The self disgust in her voice stung almost as much as the words themselves as they dug under his plates.
"Jane, whatever she did, it wasn't your fault." Garrus insisted, steel in his voice, and she looked up at him silently, "We knew she had the power to insinuate herself into people's minds, to dominate them. Samara said as much before the mission. It's as though she drugged you, so all of that? It wasn't your fault." Jane shut her eyes at that, taking a deep breath.
"I know." She breathed, "I know. But I should have been stronger. I should have been better prepared than that. I thought I was better than that." The disgust was back in her voice and Garrus sighed as he reached a hand toward her hair, pausing to insure she was okay with being touched. When she nodded, he gently brushed a few stray strands away from her forehead before running his fingers through a few locks trailing down around her pillow.
"I don't think any of us were really ready to face that. Even if you'd been properly armed, it probably wouldn't have made a difference. But I…" Garrus clenched his eyes shut, turning his face away, unable to look her in the eyes, "I should have taken the shot when I had the chance. I was afraid of hurting you." He finished lamely, as though his paltry, cowardly excuse made up for the pain she'd been forced to endure.
Garrus felt a soft, cool, trembling hand on the side of his face, and he looked back to Jane as she smiled up at him. He leaned into her touch, gripping her other hand firmly. She pulled him closer, and they met in a slow, sweet kiss that lingered like the taste of honey on the tongue. When they pulled apart, he leaned down to brush his forehead against hers, the exhales of their contented sighs mingling in the meager space between them.
"Is Mor-" She stumbled over the name, "Is she…? What happened after I…?" She whispered hoarsely, and he pulled away to sit on the edge of the bed beside her, their hands still clasped firmly.
"She's dead." Garrus stated firmly and succinctly. She didn't need to know the details, not unless she asked, which he hoped she wouldn't. As numbed to the violence and gore of battle as he was, even he didn't want to remember the splatters of blood left over in that apartment.
Jane looked up at the ceiling, and after a moment, shut her eyes, taking a deep breath in. As she slowly let it go, he could see some of the tension leave her.
"Then I just need to move past this. I just need my body to heal," She lifted her free hand, watching as it trembled slightly, "And I need to…" She trailed off, letting her hand fall back down onto the bed. "I think this was a wake up call for me."
"What do you mean?" Garrus asked hesitantly, unsure, and she looked back up at him.
"I've let myself get cocky and complacent. We've been jumping around the galaxy, building this amazing team, shooting up mercs, and dicking around." Jane smiled but there was no mirth in it, her eyes pinched despite their unfocused gaze. The smile disappeared slowly, and when she continued her voice had dropped to a cold, terrified whisper. "But the Reapers are coming, Garrus. And I'm not ready."
The words, quiet as they were, seemed to echo in the empty, sterile room as though she had shouted them. Garrus felt her squeeze his hand, and he held fast to hers as his own fear reared up to roar in his chest. He felt the truth of her words reverberate in his bones. He, too, had been trying his best not to think about the reality facing them, about the true enemy lurking out in dark space.
"I don't think any of us are really ready for them, Jane." Garrus replied somberly, trying his best not to wonder if he was one of the distractions and amusements that she was currently regretting. "The best thing we can do for now is put a stop to whatever the Collectors are doing." With a sigh, Jane closed her eyes, nodding slowly.
"I know, you're right. But I still need to be better. I can't continue on being just Commander Shepard's delinquent kid sister, not with the Reapers coming." Once again, they fell into a heavy, uncomfortable silence, and Garrus found himself falling into his old standby. Forcing a smile, he reached for levity.
"Well, I hope you don't plan on completely dropping the whole 'bad girl' thing, I find it pretty sexy." He growled playfully, causing her eyes to pop open in surprise. She looked at him for a full moment before bursting into laughter so genuine that, for a moment, he wanted to cry in relief. As soon as she quieted, catching her breath, Jane smiled a warm, genuine smile up at him, and he felt himself stroke her fingers lightly with his thumb. "And you've never been just anything. Not to me."
"Who would have thought I'd fall for such a sap." Jane muttered as she rolled her eyes affectionately, her cheeks finally regaining a little warmth as she flushed. She grabbed the front of his shirt, giving it a weak tug and pulling him down for another kiss. "Thanks, Garrus. I'm glad I had you and John watching my six. I think I owe you my life."
"Well," Garrus felt himself smile as he sat back up and reached a hand up to rub the back of his neck, "You have given me a little incentive." He laughed as she smacked him lightly.
"Okay, get out of here and go find John. I get the feeling I'm going to have to beat the guilt out of him, too." He chuckled at that, nodding his head as he stood, squeezing her hand one more time before letting go and pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"That's probably not far from the truth. He took the whole thing pretty rough, I think." Garrus said before taking a step back. "I'll be back in a moment." Turning, he headed toward the door, but stopped as she called out.
"Wait." Turning back to her, Garrus waited as she stared up at the ceiling, her smile gone. "After, will you go get Miranda for me? I think it's time I swallowed my pride and asked for her help with something."
(Note: Happy (early) N7 day, everyone! I've been pretty sick and super appreciated the support I received from my regular reviewers last week. I'm slowly starting to feel better! I've also been participating in NaNoWriMo, and am super excited to finishing up the writing for the final chapters of part 2. I hope you are all enjoying it so far! Until next week, lovely readers!)