Disclaimer - I have no money for a witty disclaimer, which means I
sho'nuff don't have enough money to buy Cowboy Bebop.
"Look Me in the Eye"
a product of Nataku-chan Incorporated ^_^
Chapter 2 - Silent Discomfort"
"Your rebirth can't hurt
Branch out behind the pain
Closure has come to me myself
You will never belong to me"
- Chevelle, "Closure"
His life was in her hands, that much Spike was sure of. He
had made it clear to Jet in unspoken terms that he was not to
be followed. He had gone off to die and Jet knew it. Who
else would refuse that fact other than Faye?
With that last gunshot echoing through the ship, Spike feared
Faye had hurt herself in her grief. While, that thought alone
was a little unsettling for the bounty hunter to contend with,
he knew that it had not been the first time she had done
something so rash. However, he later discovered that not
only had she followed him to Mars, but Faye had been the one
to retrieve his beaten and bloodied body and bring it back to
the Bebop.
He assumed she had had help of course, but
Spike knew it was Faye who had nursed him back to health.
She had quieted him and soothed him, nurtured him and
protected him from the nightmares. It was Faye who had
given him the kiss.
And he had called her Julia.
Spike stopped in his tracks, feeling the guilt and shame
burn through him. True was it that the two had flirted
shamelessly with each other - moreso than they argued.
It had almost been a game, a way the two could communicate
with each other without having to reveal anything about them-
selves. Never had it gone any further than that; in fact, if
either one of them were to ever make a move on the other,
Spike thought it would have been himself - perhaps in a
drunken stupor or something of that nature.
In fact, unknown to everyone but Spike, before he had left
the Bebop, Spike had made a move to kiss Faye during their
confrontation in the hallway. He hadn't really thought much
would come from it and didn't think she would either - but
her eyes had stopped him.
People always seemed to be awed by his mismatched eyes,
while he never thought much of them at all. However, nothing
astounded and fascinated him more than Faye's eyes. For a
woman who hid behind a plethora of masks and barricades,
Faye's eyes did more to reveal her character than words ever
could. They were truly windows to her soul; to tell how she felt,
all one had to do look deep within those emerald depths and pray
they didn't get swept away with them.
When Spike had moved in to kiss Faye that day, she backed
awaystartled. That didn't bother him until he really looked at
her. What hehad found there shook him, though he didn't show
it. Faye's eyes hadshown contempt, anger, and rage.... but what
showed in the forefront was fear.
~~~
She had been afraid that day, deathly afraid. He was going to
throw his life away, just as she had attempted, only she was
powerless to stop him. She felt weak, cheap - his mind had been
made up; there was no stopping him, no deterring him from his
task. She had to let him go.
But had she really? There had been only one bullet left in her
clip when she followed after him. She hadn't expected there'd be
anyone left to offer opposition; one bullet would be all she need to
end it all by his side.
In the end, that's all she had really wanted; to be near him. The
moment she set eyes on him, Faye just knew she was what she
needed. Not to be dept free, rolling in cash, she just needed to be
loved by that man and that man alone - Spike Spiegel.
However, it was the day he called her by the other woman's name
did she realize she had lost. Fighting against hope, fighting against
reality, Faye had hoped Spike would someday hold her in his heart,
as she held him in hers.
'Was that so freaking much to ask?' Faye sighed, rubbing her
temples in frustration. Realizing she wasn't going to accomplish
anything in this mindset, she got up from her perch on her bed
and walked towards the door.
With a push of a button, the door slid open revealing a bedraggled
looking bounty hunter on the other side. Faye's game face quickly
slid into place as she regarded him with a bland look. "G'mornin',
Sunshine."
Exhausted from the walk, and feeling like shit, Spike still managed
a smirk - he had caught the slight glimmer of worry beneath the
mask. He managed a raspy chuckle.
"I should say the same to you." He noted the dark circles under
her eyes. "You look like hell."
Faye scowled, taking note of the dark path of color slowly forming
next to his shoulder. "You might wanna take that back, cowboy..."
She grasped his arm, leading him towards her bed.
"Don'cha think you're moving a bit fast?" Spike joked. "We barely
know each other."
"Please," Faye eyed him dubiously, "Like I want you bleeding all
over my bed." With a flick of her hand, she pushed him backwards
onto her bed. Worry flickered in her eyes as he let out a hiss of pain.
"Jeez, what'd you do now?"
Spike smiled knowingly; that was Faye-lingo for 'Are you okay?'
Making himself comfortable, he watched as Faye fumbled around
in her closet - presumably looking for a first-aid kit. His attention
soon wandered to the bed itself.
His first thought was that he was surrounded in scrap. However,
after a clser look, wires and cords, cameras and beta-tapes, along
with pictures and papers containing numerous notes filled his vision.
Next to his head sat a beta-tape player and Edward's Tomato.
"I guess you're wondering what I've been doing these past three
days." Faye replied, sitting down next to him with a pair of scissors
and a roll of bandages.
"The though may've crossed my mind once or twice," Spike
answered carelessly as he watched her snip away at the bandage
around his shoulder. "Where'd you get all this crap?"
"Most of it's Ed's." she answered.
"What's it for?" Spike asked, noting Faye's tenseness.
"If you really want to know," she replied after a few moments of
deliberation, laying on the whole 'I don't give a damn' act. "I'm
trying to document some info."
Spike gave her a 'You?!' look before coming back with, "What for?"
"No reason." Faye replied moodily. "Do I have to have a reason for
everything?"
"No," Spike answered, feeling the absence of Faye's hands on his
injured shoulder. Was it just the pain from the wound or did he
actually feel a type of sudden longing?
Faye's voice snapped him off that train of thought, "I mean, it's not
like you care or anything."
"I never said I didn't." Spike protested; the look on Faye's face
made him amend his sentence. "What I meant..."
"I'm done with your bandage." Her tone was icy, indicating the
discussion was over. "Why don't you just leave now?"
"But it's comfier here."
Faye glared at him. "You're in my way, Lunkhead. Can't you
seeI'm working?"
"What're you working on?" Spike asked, an innocent grin
plasteredacross his face.
"Why should I tell you?"
Spike's grin widened. "I'll leave if you tell me."
Faye faltered for a moment, as if debating the thought. Did she
really want him to leave? The thought alone registered a
strange feeling in Spike.
"All right," Faye replied after a long silence. "I've been doing a
lot of thinking since you came back - don't laugh." Spike didn't
flinch. "Remember when I told you my memories had come
back?"
"How could I forget?"
Faye wasn't sure how to take that one, so she continued on.
"Well, that wasn't exactly true. Y'see, not all my memories came
back. I only have fragments; bits and pieces of memories - names,
faces, places, stuff like that. They came at me so fast I couldn't
handle them all. I was so afraid of what would happen if I lost
my memories again so I decided to document what I could so-"
"It would never be forgotten." Spike took his eyes off of Faye
for a moment to stare at the jumble of mess around him.
Faye had somehow managed to gather maps, scraps of old
postcards, photos and other bits of info from various places
that had survived the Gate Incident. He doubted many of them
had anything to do with the bounty huntress in particular, but he
was awestruck to see how much she had accumulated in such a
short time.
"So, what're you gonna do with all this?" he asked, fingering all
that was left of a small button. He frowned slightly, looking down
at it.
What kind of place was 'Dine World'?
"Well, I'm gonna have Ed scan it all and create a database for
me." Faye answered. "So I can always look back on it."
"Don't you think that's a bit pointless?"
Faye flinched. "It may be to you, but not to me!" she exclaimed.
"My memories are all I have! I won't lose them again!"
"C'mon, Faye," Spike replied. "Those memories your holding onto
are 50 some-odd years old, you have to let--"
Fiery green eyes turned on his. "Don't you dare say anything to
me about letting go!" Faye snapped. "You dragged yourself
through Hell and back over people who should've been left buried
in the past!"Spike flinched slightly at this. "You pompous jackass...
you nearly died!"
He remained quiet for some time. "And that bothers you?"
"Damn straight it does!" she snapped, disregarding that little voice
of reason in her head that was screaming at her to shut up. "Do
you know how scared I was at the thought of never seeing you
again? You and the Bebop are the only constants in my life and
without you there -is- no Bebop!"
Spike chuckled wryly, trying to shake the feeling the look in Faye's
eyes were giving him. "I'm not that important, Faye..."
"You are to me!"
The world around them screeched to a halt as the last of Faye's
words died off into the silence.
"Damn, I need a cigarette."
"You ain't the only one."
~End of Chapter 2
sho'nuff don't have enough money to buy Cowboy Bebop.
"Look Me in the Eye"
a product of Nataku-chan Incorporated ^_^
Chapter 2 - Silent Discomfort"
"Your rebirth can't hurt
Branch out behind the pain
Closure has come to me myself
You will never belong to me"
- Chevelle, "Closure"
His life was in her hands, that much Spike was sure of. He
had made it clear to Jet in unspoken terms that he was not to
be followed. He had gone off to die and Jet knew it. Who
else would refuse that fact other than Faye?
With that last gunshot echoing through the ship, Spike feared
Faye had hurt herself in her grief. While, that thought alone
was a little unsettling for the bounty hunter to contend with,
he knew that it had not been the first time she had done
something so rash. However, he later discovered that not
only had she followed him to Mars, but Faye had been the one
to retrieve his beaten and bloodied body and bring it back to
the Bebop.
He assumed she had had help of course, but
Spike knew it was Faye who had nursed him back to health.
She had quieted him and soothed him, nurtured him and
protected him from the nightmares. It was Faye who had
given him the kiss.
And he had called her Julia.
Spike stopped in his tracks, feeling the guilt and shame
burn through him. True was it that the two had flirted
shamelessly with each other - moreso than they argued.
It had almost been a game, a way the two could communicate
with each other without having to reveal anything about them-
selves. Never had it gone any further than that; in fact, if
either one of them were to ever make a move on the other,
Spike thought it would have been himself - perhaps in a
drunken stupor or something of that nature.
In fact, unknown to everyone but Spike, before he had left
the Bebop, Spike had made a move to kiss Faye during their
confrontation in the hallway. He hadn't really thought much
would come from it and didn't think she would either - but
her eyes had stopped him.
People always seemed to be awed by his mismatched eyes,
while he never thought much of them at all. However, nothing
astounded and fascinated him more than Faye's eyes. For a
woman who hid behind a plethora of masks and barricades,
Faye's eyes did more to reveal her character than words ever
could. They were truly windows to her soul; to tell how she felt,
all one had to do look deep within those emerald depths and pray
they didn't get swept away with them.
When Spike had moved in to kiss Faye that day, she backed
awaystartled. That didn't bother him until he really looked at
her. What hehad found there shook him, though he didn't show
it. Faye's eyes hadshown contempt, anger, and rage.... but what
showed in the forefront was fear.
~~~
She had been afraid that day, deathly afraid. He was going to
throw his life away, just as she had attempted, only she was
powerless to stop him. She felt weak, cheap - his mind had been
made up; there was no stopping him, no deterring him from his
task. She had to let him go.
But had she really? There had been only one bullet left in her
clip when she followed after him. She hadn't expected there'd be
anyone left to offer opposition; one bullet would be all she need to
end it all by his side.
In the end, that's all she had really wanted; to be near him. The
moment she set eyes on him, Faye just knew she was what she
needed. Not to be dept free, rolling in cash, she just needed to be
loved by that man and that man alone - Spike Spiegel.
However, it was the day he called her by the other woman's name
did she realize she had lost. Fighting against hope, fighting against
reality, Faye had hoped Spike would someday hold her in his heart,
as she held him in hers.
'Was that so freaking much to ask?' Faye sighed, rubbing her
temples in frustration. Realizing she wasn't going to accomplish
anything in this mindset, she got up from her perch on her bed
and walked towards the door.
With a push of a button, the door slid open revealing a bedraggled
looking bounty hunter on the other side. Faye's game face quickly
slid into place as she regarded him with a bland look. "G'mornin',
Sunshine."
Exhausted from the walk, and feeling like shit, Spike still managed
a smirk - he had caught the slight glimmer of worry beneath the
mask. He managed a raspy chuckle.
"I should say the same to you." He noted the dark circles under
her eyes. "You look like hell."
Faye scowled, taking note of the dark path of color slowly forming
next to his shoulder. "You might wanna take that back, cowboy..."
She grasped his arm, leading him towards her bed.
"Don'cha think you're moving a bit fast?" Spike joked. "We barely
know each other."
"Please," Faye eyed him dubiously, "Like I want you bleeding all
over my bed." With a flick of her hand, she pushed him backwards
onto her bed. Worry flickered in her eyes as he let out a hiss of pain.
"Jeez, what'd you do now?"
Spike smiled knowingly; that was Faye-lingo for 'Are you okay?'
Making himself comfortable, he watched as Faye fumbled around
in her closet - presumably looking for a first-aid kit. His attention
soon wandered to the bed itself.
His first thought was that he was surrounded in scrap. However,
after a clser look, wires and cords, cameras and beta-tapes, along
with pictures and papers containing numerous notes filled his vision.
Next to his head sat a beta-tape player and Edward's Tomato.
"I guess you're wondering what I've been doing these past three
days." Faye replied, sitting down next to him with a pair of scissors
and a roll of bandages.
"The though may've crossed my mind once or twice," Spike
answered carelessly as he watched her snip away at the bandage
around his shoulder. "Where'd you get all this crap?"
"Most of it's Ed's." she answered.
"What's it for?" Spike asked, noting Faye's tenseness.
"If you really want to know," she replied after a few moments of
deliberation, laying on the whole 'I don't give a damn' act. "I'm
trying to document some info."
Spike gave her a 'You?!' look before coming back with, "What for?"
"No reason." Faye replied moodily. "Do I have to have a reason for
everything?"
"No," Spike answered, feeling the absence of Faye's hands on his
injured shoulder. Was it just the pain from the wound or did he
actually feel a type of sudden longing?
Faye's voice snapped him off that train of thought, "I mean, it's not
like you care or anything."
"I never said I didn't." Spike protested; the look on Faye's face
made him amend his sentence. "What I meant..."
"I'm done with your bandage." Her tone was icy, indicating the
discussion was over. "Why don't you just leave now?"
"But it's comfier here."
Faye glared at him. "You're in my way, Lunkhead. Can't you
seeI'm working?"
"What're you working on?" Spike asked, an innocent grin
plasteredacross his face.
"Why should I tell you?"
Spike's grin widened. "I'll leave if you tell me."
Faye faltered for a moment, as if debating the thought. Did she
really want him to leave? The thought alone registered a
strange feeling in Spike.
"All right," Faye replied after a long silence. "I've been doing a
lot of thinking since you came back - don't laugh." Spike didn't
flinch. "Remember when I told you my memories had come
back?"
"How could I forget?"
Faye wasn't sure how to take that one, so she continued on.
"Well, that wasn't exactly true. Y'see, not all my memories came
back. I only have fragments; bits and pieces of memories - names,
faces, places, stuff like that. They came at me so fast I couldn't
handle them all. I was so afraid of what would happen if I lost
my memories again so I decided to document what I could so-"
"It would never be forgotten." Spike took his eyes off of Faye
for a moment to stare at the jumble of mess around him.
Faye had somehow managed to gather maps, scraps of old
postcards, photos and other bits of info from various places
that had survived the Gate Incident. He doubted many of them
had anything to do with the bounty huntress in particular, but he
was awestruck to see how much she had accumulated in such a
short time.
"So, what're you gonna do with all this?" he asked, fingering all
that was left of a small button. He frowned slightly, looking down
at it.
What kind of place was 'Dine World'?
"Well, I'm gonna have Ed scan it all and create a database for
me." Faye answered. "So I can always look back on it."
"Don't you think that's a bit pointless?"
Faye flinched. "It may be to you, but not to me!" she exclaimed.
"My memories are all I have! I won't lose them again!"
"C'mon, Faye," Spike replied. "Those memories your holding onto
are 50 some-odd years old, you have to let--"
Fiery green eyes turned on his. "Don't you dare say anything to
me about letting go!" Faye snapped. "You dragged yourself
through Hell and back over people who should've been left buried
in the past!"Spike flinched slightly at this. "You pompous jackass...
you nearly died!"
He remained quiet for some time. "And that bothers you?"
"Damn straight it does!" she snapped, disregarding that little voice
of reason in her head that was screaming at her to shut up. "Do
you know how scared I was at the thought of never seeing you
again? You and the Bebop are the only constants in my life and
without you there -is- no Bebop!"
Spike chuckled wryly, trying to shake the feeling the look in Faye's
eyes were giving him. "I'm not that important, Faye..."
"You are to me!"
The world around them screeched to a halt as the last of Faye's
words died off into the silence.
"Damn, I need a cigarette."
"You ain't the only one."
~End of Chapter 2