Chapter 10 - (Interlude 2) Memory
"Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again"
Linkin Park, "Breaking the Habit"
Faye decided that she no longer believed in happy endings. And why should
she? The life she had been living up to this point had been one big joke.
Stripped of any memories of her past, she had woken up in a world unfamiliar
to her only to fall sucker to the first moron to come along. A heavy burden was
unjustly thrown upon her shoulders – 300 billion woolongs… she hadn't even any
idea what a woolong was let alone how to come up with that many! What kind
of life was that to wake up into?
And to top it all off, she had been left all alone with no one to depend on but
herself. She learned the hard way that those among her claiming to help her
usually weren't, or did notunderstand that they were doing more harm than good.
She was forced to harden her heart towards everyone – good and bad – to keep
herself from being exploited ever again.
She wasn't completely apathetic yet though; deep down she still held onto the
hope that the person she had once been would re-emerge, allowing her to become normal again. This thought alone not only kept her up at night, but helped her make
it through the day. After all, Poker Alice never said 'die'.
However, Fate can often be cruel. Faye was no saint, she knew that better than anyone. This was often her excuse for all the bad hands life had dealt her. She
had done something in a past life to screw up her karma – that had to be why her
life sucked. Right?
That theory, was effectively thrown out the window, run over by numerous transport
vehicles, incinerated, and then scattered to the winds once the fateful beta tape had arrived. It was bad enough that she had to wait to see the whole thing (she had to
save up the 300 some-odd woolongs before she even attempted asking Jet for it –
she did have her pride), but what she saw on that archaic screen was completely different than what she had expected.
She had been… happy. Not only did she seem to be pretty well off financially, but
also there were people surrounding her that cared about her as much as she cared about them. There were no debt collectors, no bounty hunters after her head, no fighting… her life had been… perfect.
No matter what she told herself, Faye could not bring herself to be happy about
all this. She had waited so long to find some piece of her past, and what she had received had completely thrown her for a loop. She couldn't remember it; she
couldn't accept it! How could this have been the life she had once had? Poker
Alice, a smiling, bright-eyed girl with future hopes and aspirations for herself? Why,
this just couldn't be right!
She had been upset at first, and then she had become angry. What had she done? What crime had she committed that was so foul, so heinous, so wretched and
horrible that deserved such a punishment? What had she done in her past life,
that deserved having everything she had once known and come to hold dear
stripped so violently away from her?
The Gate Accident had ruined everything. Earth had been laid to ruins by
meteorites that had broken free from the Moon in the explosion. The beta tape,
she believed, had been her only hope, the key to finding what had been lost.
However, once she returned to Earth, she finally received the rude awakening she
had feared. Upon waking up from a cryogenic sleep, all data on her – her name,
her history, her reason for being preserved in the first place – everything that had
once been her life had been incinerated in fire, smoke, and debris.
But Faye was not about to give up. She searched, constantly and endlessly
through the rubble of what had once been her home. Scraps and bits became
worth more to her than any of the diamonds and pearls and woolongs anyone could
ever offer her. She had been determined to make some sense of her past – even if it killed her.
However, somewhere deep down, a part of Faye still believed that there was no
suchthing as happy endings, no matter how hard she struggled to make things
right. Upon leaving Earth with her finds, still nothing had come from regaining her memories - in fact, upon returning to the Bebop Faye lost the only other thing that
had managed to keep her together for so long; Spike had gone off to meet his
destiny… He was prepared to go off and never come back.
She would have lost him forever, and it to make matters worse, it would have been
all because of a memory.
~ End of Chapter 10
Author's Notes -
Yeah... so um... Faye's definitely going through some issues right now... And for
those of you who are wondering, no, Faye is not dead. And no, she will not die.
I don't really believe in that kind of angst. Like I said before, I like happy endings.
For the most part, the plot of this fic has really gotten away from me in the time
that I had it on hold. However, I will continue with it as it is (unless anyone has
any suggestions they'd like to offer) and hopefully get back on track. But in the
meantime, let me know what you guys think. I'd loved to hear from ya!
Remember the three R's of fanfiction, everyone! =)
"Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again"
Linkin Park, "Breaking the Habit"
Faye decided that she no longer believed in happy endings. And why should
she? The life she had been living up to this point had been one big joke.
Stripped of any memories of her past, she had woken up in a world unfamiliar
to her only to fall sucker to the first moron to come along. A heavy burden was
unjustly thrown upon her shoulders – 300 billion woolongs… she hadn't even any
idea what a woolong was let alone how to come up with that many! What kind
of life was that to wake up into?
And to top it all off, she had been left all alone with no one to depend on but
herself. She learned the hard way that those among her claiming to help her
usually weren't, or did notunderstand that they were doing more harm than good.
She was forced to harden her heart towards everyone – good and bad – to keep
herself from being exploited ever again.
She wasn't completely apathetic yet though; deep down she still held onto the
hope that the person she had once been would re-emerge, allowing her to become normal again. This thought alone not only kept her up at night, but helped her make
it through the day. After all, Poker Alice never said 'die'.
However, Fate can often be cruel. Faye was no saint, she knew that better than anyone. This was often her excuse for all the bad hands life had dealt her. She
had done something in a past life to screw up her karma – that had to be why her
life sucked. Right?
That theory, was effectively thrown out the window, run over by numerous transport
vehicles, incinerated, and then scattered to the winds once the fateful beta tape had arrived. It was bad enough that she had to wait to see the whole thing (she had to
save up the 300 some-odd woolongs before she even attempted asking Jet for it –
she did have her pride), but what she saw on that archaic screen was completely different than what she had expected.
She had been… happy. Not only did she seem to be pretty well off financially, but
also there were people surrounding her that cared about her as much as she cared about them. There were no debt collectors, no bounty hunters after her head, no fighting… her life had been… perfect.
No matter what she told herself, Faye could not bring herself to be happy about
all this. She had waited so long to find some piece of her past, and what she had received had completely thrown her for a loop. She couldn't remember it; she
couldn't accept it! How could this have been the life she had once had? Poker
Alice, a smiling, bright-eyed girl with future hopes and aspirations for herself? Why,
this just couldn't be right!
She had been upset at first, and then she had become angry. What had she done? What crime had she committed that was so foul, so heinous, so wretched and
horrible that deserved such a punishment? What had she done in her past life,
that deserved having everything she had once known and come to hold dear
stripped so violently away from her?
The Gate Accident had ruined everything. Earth had been laid to ruins by
meteorites that had broken free from the Moon in the explosion. The beta tape,
she believed, had been her only hope, the key to finding what had been lost.
However, once she returned to Earth, she finally received the rude awakening she
had feared. Upon waking up from a cryogenic sleep, all data on her – her name,
her history, her reason for being preserved in the first place – everything that had
once been her life had been incinerated in fire, smoke, and debris.
But Faye was not about to give up. She searched, constantly and endlessly
through the rubble of what had once been her home. Scraps and bits became
worth more to her than any of the diamonds and pearls and woolongs anyone could
ever offer her. She had been determined to make some sense of her past – even if it killed her.
However, somewhere deep down, a part of Faye still believed that there was no
suchthing as happy endings, no matter how hard she struggled to make things
right. Upon leaving Earth with her finds, still nothing had come from regaining her memories - in fact, upon returning to the Bebop Faye lost the only other thing that
had managed to keep her together for so long; Spike had gone off to meet his
destiny… He was prepared to go off and never come back.
She would have lost him forever, and it to make matters worse, it would have been
all because of a memory.
~ End of Chapter 10
Author's Notes -
Yeah... so um... Faye's definitely going through some issues right now... And for
those of you who are wondering, no, Faye is not dead. And no, she will not die.
I don't really believe in that kind of angst. Like I said before, I like happy endings.
For the most part, the plot of this fic has really gotten away from me in the time
that I had it on hold. However, I will continue with it as it is (unless anyone has
any suggestions they'd like to offer) and hopefully get back on track. But in the
meantime, let me know what you guys think. I'd loved to hear from ya!
Remember the three R's of fanfiction, everyone! =)