Carrying the small box in his hand, he walks out of the Velaris trinket shop. He tucks it into his shirt pocket and takes off, flying over Prythian and taking in the view of the courts. It's the best part of his travels to Rose Hall. He debated on telling Gwyn his plans for today, but she made it clear that Merrill was being particularly bitchy this week and she would rather him stay away to avoid the headache while she was working.

At the thought of Gwyn, his heart flutters and he can't help but blush. He shakes his head, realizing what a typical mate-like response that is, but smiles to himself nonetheless. If there was one thing about Gwyn, it was her ability to completely change his outlook on his life, even when she's not with him. He very rarely smiles before her and now, he's smiling while he's alone, just thinking of her. Cassian would poke fun if he ever knew, though he supposes Cassian most likely feels the same way about Nesta.

Flying above his small cottage near the border Of Spring and Autumn, he descends and lands softly on his feet. Even though Tamlin despised Rhys and the Inner Circle, he had yet to ever complain about Azriel visiting to simply see his mother. After he had grown up a bit, she had spoken with him about fleeing the Night Court because of all that had happened to her and to him. She knew he would remain, not only because he was loyal to his 'brother', but because he was an asset to the Court.

He knew she was hurting there. He had seen the pain and the hopelessness etched onto her face every time he has seen her in Illyria, and even after he had relocated her to Velaris. The city, however beautiful, unsettled her with its bustling crowds and nightlife, making her anxiety worse. Azriel can't help but take a deep breath, realizing just how much he has in common with his mother, even down to their mental destruction at the hands of his 'father'. Despite his small protests due to the tension with Spring, she had chosen it as her home. Not only for its brightness and warmth, but for the quiet, the soft breezes, and the beauty of its rolling hills of wildflowers and inviting hot springs. It was a calm, cozy cottage on the outskirts of the Court.

For fifty years when Amarantha was after everyone, especially Tamlin and his Court, his anxiety was through the roof. Since Rhys had trapped them in Velaris, he was not able to leave to check on her, and it was like he was back in that cage, his father dictating that he couldn't see her all over again. Not only was he terrified for his brother, but the uncertainty around his mother, the only one who he could truly lean on to know him and comfort him, was nearly unbearable. It made him feel like that lost and broken child again.

He approaches the cottage, its cream-colored stucco a nice contrast to the heavy ropes of ivy crawling up the building. He knocks softly and waits for his mother's familiar voice to ring out on the other side.

"Who is it!?"

Azriel can't help but smile and roll his eyes. "Ma, who else would it be?"

The door swings open and she grins brightly, her sapphire blue top and dark hair a stark comparison to Azriel and his siphon.

"My baby!", she squeals happily and throws her arms around him. A familiar greeting, but one that still makes him blush hundreds of years later.

"Gods, Ma."

"Oh, hush. You'll always be my baby no matter how old you get. Now come in, come in!", she ushers him in the door. "Be careful of your beautiful wings."

"You too", he replies, as he tucks them close and ducks through the small door, suppressing a smile and rubbing his temples.

"Oh, I'm quite used to this little house now. Oh, Azzy, are you getting headaches again?", she asks, immediately concerned.

"They're not too bad now, Ma. I'm okay."

"Well, let me get you some tea anyway." She pulls out another chair which is suitable for Illyrian wings and smiles fondly at him.

"It's so good to see you, sweetheart."

"You too, Mom. Oh, I got you a gift."

"You didn't have to do that", she tsks.

"I wanted to." He takes the box from his breast pocket and hands it to her.

She smiles softly and opens it, gasping softly. She takes out a glimmering silver bracelet with bright teal and deep sapphire glittering stones in a wave-like pattern. "Ohh, Azriel. It's gorgeous", she breathes.

He grins. "I'm glad you like it, I thought you may."

She hugs him tightly and he helps her put it on, clasping the ends together.

She beams at him and cups his cheek softly, looking at him sweetly. "So. There is usually a reason. Which will it be? Goodness or grievance this time?"

Azriel sinks into the chair and takes a breath. "Goodness. And I will tell you, but you have to promise not to freak out."

She raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms, flaring her wings in suspense, a slight twitch indicative of her bubbling anticipation. "I make no promises I cannot keep."

"Ma", he groans."

"Azzy, spill it."

Azriel takes a breath but shakes his head, unable to keep himself from grinning happily, fiddling with his hands.

"Oh look at that handsome smile! It must be good news! Go on, go on, tell me."

"Mother, keep it together now..."

"Azriel Erebus."

"I found my mate", he says softly, beaming.

She gasps loudly and squeals shrilly again. He cringes but a laugh escapes his lips as she once again launches a hug at him. "Oh my gods! Oh my gods! Where is she? Azzy, ohhh...you're going to bring her here, right? You have to! I have to meet this female who can make my son smile like that!"

Azriel chuckles and hugs her back. "She's working right now. But, her name is Gwyn—Gwyneth. Berdara. She's a priestess who hailed from the Sangravah Temple", his eyes soften.

"Oh, wow...the one—"

"Yes. She's actually the same female I helped save that day. It's a convoluted story really."

She bustles around preparing some tea for them in the kitchen. "Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I don't even know what to say. Tell me more about her."

"Well, she became friends with the High Lady's sister. She's one of the females I told you had won the Blood Rite and is training to be a Valkyrie."

"I knew her name sounded familiar!", she grins. "Azzy, you have a female who is truly your equal, don't you?"

"I do. She's everything I never knew I needed and wanted, and the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Tears well up in her eyes as she places his tea on the table and cups his cheek. "I've always wanted the best for you, Azriel. I couldn't be more thrilled that the Mother has gifted you with a lovely mate. I can't wait to meet her."

"I know, Ma." He looks at her softly. "You deserved that too, instead of everything you suffered through. You should have had a mate who could have loved you the way you deserved. You never ever deserved—"

She shushes him and smiles slightly. "I have accepted everything, and I have turned it into a good thing. I speak to many women from most of the Courts when they need a place to talk. I've made it into something good, something to use to give back to Prythian. I don't want to be bitter about the past. Plus, if I had to suffer through it all again, just to have you, I would in a heartbeat."

Azriel tears up and shakes his head, thinking about how many times he had thought about ending his life. It only took one thought of his mother and all that she had already lost, for him to shut the thoughts down immediately. He hugs her close and closes his eyes. "I love you, Ma."

"I love you too, Az. You're my heart and soul, sweet boy. You have been since the moment I knew about you."

He takes a deep breath and kisses her cheek.

"Now, drink your tea and tell me more about this Gwyn. You'd better be bringing her around here soon. I won't be patient for long. When did you know? How did you find out? Did she accept it already?", she fires off.

"Ma", he chuckles. "I've known for a couple months now. I found out when I was checking up on her and her friends, which includes the High Lady's sister, and she was tipsy. So we were equally vulnerable, because she always made me feel...softer. Yes, she has accepted me, and I, her. She is actually part lesser fae as well."

"Oh?" Her eyes sparkle with happiness for him as she sips her own tea.

"Yeah. She is mostly High Fae, but he has some nymph and lightsinger genes from her grandmother's line. But she's the sweetest and kindest female I've ever met. There isn't a single mean bone in her body."

"She sounds intriguing, son. I'm glad you are happy. I'm thrilled you are happy. Finally. You deserve it."

"She still lives at the library in the House of Wind. It's where she has grown and learned to heal. Of course, she still struggles sometimes with crowds and everything. Her attack was brutal", he whispers quietly, a distant and icy rage in his eyes. "You know that Mor and I were the ones who—who went in to save the priestesses. It was one of the most horrific scenes I've ever come across in my life. The images haunt me still sometimes, so I can only imagine the pain and the memories that Gwyn has of her attack. Multiple Hybern soldiers...", he trails off, choking up. "I killed them all, but obviously that doesn't take away what already happened to her."

Leila tears up and looks at her son, the hurt for her future daughter-in-law potent in her gaze. "It's not easy to overcome such an atrocity. The only comfort is knowing that you protected her to the best of your ability and now you are helping her heal as her mate. You already know this, but it will take a lot of patience on your part. Intimacy will not come easy to her. There will be steps you have to take. And just because she was traumatized does not mean she can't be sexual too when she's comfortable. Remember that."

Azriel groans and turns red, covering his face at his mother's notion of his "intimacy". "Ma. I know. Please, I'd rather not discuss...that."

"Oh, Azzy", she rolls her eyes and scoffs. "I'm nearly eight hundred years old, I've been around. I know how males are. You act as if it's wrong to discuss."

"Gods", he whines. "No, I'd just rather not discuss my sex life with my mother."

She snorts. "Oh, alright. But remember, I am a therapist for women who have been abused, so I may get some info from your mate anyhow."

Azriel scrubs his hands down his face and blushes. "Don't worry, we—we haven't...it's too soon anyway. I want her to be comfortable going outside into the city first anyway. Plus, we are in the process of building a home in Velaris. She's nervous, but she said she wants to. I'm a bit nervous too. She's...she's so perfect, Ma."

She grabs one of his scarred hands and clasps in between hers. "I know you will treat each other right. I want the best for you, always. Seeing the love in your eyes when you talk about her makes me the happiest mother on the continent right now. You deserve this, Azzy. I've been praying to the Mother that you would find who you were meant to be, and the female you were meant for. I know how incredible you are as a son, and I couldn't be prouder of you, knowing how sweet you treat your mate. I'm so so proud of you."

Azriel swallows the lump in his throat and squeezes her hand back. "Thanks, Ma. You deserved that too. It still kills me that you had to go through everything alone", he whispers. "And then how hard you tried to fight for me instead of taking care of yourself. You need to know that there was nothing else you could've done back then, and those sixty minutes I got with you a week is what kept me fighting, what kept me sane as a kid. Ma, you're the only reason for all the good parts of me, and all of my good days."

Tears fall down her face softly. "When he finally released you, I should have gotten us a good home and taken care of you. I-I should have been the one to raise you the rest of your childhood. I was ultimately selfish, and I'm so sorry, Azzy. I know that Darcy was good to you, and that you got to grow up with Illyrian brothers who loved you the way your real ones didn't, but I was your mother. Your mother who barely saw you until you were eleven and I still let you be raised by Rhysand's mother instead of me."

Azriel tucks his wings and sits next to her on her sofa, hugging her side and gently placing his head on her shoulder. "If anyone can understand trauma, especially now, as an adult, it's me. Not only have I had my own, but I've met and loved many people who have suffered and been abused. Maybe as a kid I was confused and sad, but as I stand now, I completely understand why you had to focus on your healing. I'm glad you did, or you wouldn't have been as incredible of a mother to me as a teen and into my adulthood as you have. I'm lucky I still have you around, Ma. Not many people still have their parents, and even out of the ones who do, most don't have loving ones. You're the best, Mum. I love you."

Leila sniffles and fusses with his hair gently. "I love you so much, Azriel."

He smiles softly and crinkles his nose as she messes with his hair.

"How about we make a nice homemade meal, hm? You used to love cooking with me when you'd stay over."

"Sure. I could use some more lessons, especially now that I have a mate and will have a home soon. Cooking can be therapeutic. Maybe if you teach me, I could teach Gwyn too."

"Or if you bring her here, I could teach both of you", she grins.

"That too", he chuckles. Getting up, he extends his hand to her, helping her stand. "So what's on the menu for tonight?"

"We will start simple. How about chicken parmesan?"

"Anything you make is delicious."

"Ah, well you're making it. I'm simply instructing."

"Oh..."

"We're going to make the pasta from scratch too. It tastes so much better than way, come on", she beams, dragging him into her cozy kitchen. "Mind your wings, tall boy."

.

.

.

Emerie giggles hysterically with Gwyn about some dirty joke she had told about Nesta and Cassian. Nesta fakes a scowl but presses her lips together firmly to keep from laughing. It's drizzling today, but Cassian was adamant that they do not miss a single day of training, especially if they want to be able to battle in the looming war.

Nesta has been quiet and reserved all day, which is not normal for her, especially around her friends. She had done a simple spar with Cassian but did not put full force or effort into it.

Cassian growls in annoyance. "Nes, you said you were feeling better today. If you're going to half-ass it, you may as well quit, it's all the same."

Gwyn chews on her lip and Emerie stretches as they watch. Nesta tears up and tosses her sword down.

"I'm sorry."

Cassian's face softens immediately. "Woah...woah, woah, what is this? Nes, this isn't like you,"

"I said I'm sorry", she snaps, wiping the tears from her face.

Cassian goes over and gently takes her hands in his. "What's going on? Is this about the war...what you told me last night?"

Nesta takes a shaky breath. "I don't know. I don't—I know I'm jittery and anxious and everything I'm usually not. I can't stop it. I'm trying."

Cassian hugs her close and strokes her hair as Nesta breaks down, something very out of character, especially in front of everyone. Gwyn and Emerie rush over, joining the hug.

"Oh, Nesta...", Emerie croons.

"Nesta, what's wrong?", Gwyn's teal eyes look at her, full of concern.

Nesta crumbles to the ground and pulls her knees to her chest, trembling and crying quietly. Cassian's brow furrows, and he has never been so shell-shocked in his entire life. They always banter, and nothing he has said in training has ever upset her. She bites right back, all the time.

"Girls, why don't we take a break? Go in and grab some water for Nes, please?"

Emerie and Gwyn nod, squeezing Nesta's shoulder as they head inside the House.

Cassian squats down, trying to cover her from the light rain with his wings. "Nes...Nes, talk to me. Hey..." He gently tips her chin up with his two fingers. Tears fall down her face and she trembles uncontrollably.

Nesta crawls over and wraps her arms around his neck tightly, crying into his neck. "I'm scared, Cass. I'm so fucking scared and I can't stop thinking of it. It's taken over all my thoughts and dreams and...I think I need help. I think we should see Madja. There's something wrong with me."

"Of course. I can take you to see her. Let's just tell the girls and we will go."

"Cass?", she sniffles.

"Yeah, Nessie?"

"There is something you need to know before we go, a-and I think it's part of why I'm spiraling."

"What is it?", he looks at her worriedly.

Nesta swallows hard and meets his hazel eyes with her piercing pale blue ones and takes a deep, shaky breath. "I...I-I'm pregnant, Cass."

He stares and blinks. Okay, now he is the most shell-shocked he has ever been in his life. "Wh-What?"

Her lip trembles. "I'm sorry, I know we—"

Cassian tugs her close and kisses her deeply and passionately, crying outwardly with abandon, breaths coming fast against her lips. "You're pregnant...you're...oh, fuck, Nes. Nes! Nessie, we—oh gods, I'm gonna be a Dad?", he blubbers, clinging to her.

Nesta cries and hugs him tightly. "Are you upset?"

"What? No. No way. No fucking way, Nes. I'm so happy. I'm extremely elated. Fuck baby. A baby, oh gods, a baby. My—our baby", he rants in disbelief. He laughs hard through the tears, cupping her face in adoration.

Nesta giggles through her sobs. "I was going to tell you last night and I was a coward, I couldn't say it after everything...but I need help, I don't know why I'm spiraling. The hormones are already messing with me."

"I'll take you to Madja right away. Oh my gods. Oh my gods", he mutters, running both hands through his hair. "Oh fuck."

Nesta laughs gently and wipes her tears, kissing him. "I love you. I know we weren't ready and—"

Cassian presses a finger to her lips. "Shhh. No. It's perfect. It's a gift. You're also a gift, I love you too." He holds her close and sniffles.

"The big strong oaf of a warrior crying? Never thought I'd see the day", Nesta mumbles.

Cassian roars out a laugh. "There she is. Though you must know, there is no way you are training until this baby is born. Fae babes aren't too common, there can be complications, and the risk of miscarriage is usually high in our species so...there is absolutely no risk I'd take with you. You shouldn't have sparred with me today either."

"I'm sorry, but that's why I wasn't going hard. I'll sit out, even if it kills me. I'm sure these horrible hormones will take the energy out of me, as well as my peace of mind clearly."

"Well, I mean, some hormones may not be so bad", he says, flashing her a wolfish smirk.

"Ugh, you're so annoying."

He chuckles and kisses her cheek.

Gwyn and Emerie come running out with some water and see them huddled together on the training mat. Cassian takes the glass and hands it to Nesta.

Nesta blushes and looks up at them. "Should I tell them?"

"Tell us what?", they ask.

Cassian grins proudly and nods. "If you'd like."

"I'm...I'm expecting."

Emerie gasps and Gwyn squeals. "Oh my gods! Oh my gods, Nesta!"

The girls squeal and gently tackle her in hugs, putting their hands on her flat belly.

"Oh my godssss, get off me", she laughs happily now.

Emerie drapes an arm around her shoulder and Gwyn grins between her and Cassian. "Congrats Mummy and Daddy."

Cassian grins and flexes. "What can I say? Daddy gets the job done."

"Cassian!", Nesta snaps, turning red.

Emerie laughs hysterically and Gwyn snorts. "I was going to do a prayer for the babe's safety. If that's okay. It's a prayer many of the priestesses say over expectant mothers for the health of the babe.

Nesta nods shyly. "Of course, I'd love that."

Gwyn smiles sweetly. "I've never done this not in my robes, and leathers are different, but I'm still a priestess."

"Always", Emerie smiles. "The most badass one there is."

She blushes and holds her hands over Nesta's abdomen gently, saying the prayer for them. Cassian holds Nesta's hand, and Emerie holds her other.

Once she finishes, she smiles. "If you'd like me to perform the prayer again with your sisters, I'd be glad to."

Nesta tears up and nods. "I haven't told them yet, I'm a bit nervous to."

Cassian bites his lip and strokes her hand. "They'll be thrilled for us, Nes."

"I know they will, it's just...different. I know we got past a lot, but I still feel like an outsider around them, I might always feel that way. We may be sisters, but there is still the divide stemming from childhood, and it'll always be there. If we have more than one child, I don't want them to be like us."

Cassian pulls her into his lap and cuddles her. "They won't because they will have two parents who love all of them, who do what's best for all of them, and who adores their differences and nurtures each of their talents and who they are. I promise, Nes."

She sniffles and nods. "Can you take me to Madja?"

"Yes, we will go now. Gwyn, Em, are you okay to stay until we return? The House will get you anything you need."

"Yes, that's fine. Don't worry, just get her looked at."

He nods politely and scoops up Nesta, flying towards the healer's.

Nesta is eerily quiet.

"Nes, talk to me."

"I don't know how to be a mother, Cass. I-I have no good example of how to be one, and I'm messed up as I am. I don't want to hurt them or ruin them because of who I am. I don't want to turn into my mother." Tears sting her eyes and flow down her face, getting whisked away by the wind.

"Nesta Archeron, you will be a fantastic mother. At an early age, you protected Elain from the horrors of your grandmother, and you went after Feyre when Tamlin took her away because you felt responsible, even when you weren't. You care deeply. I know everyone gets the sense that you are the rigid or colder sister, but I know better. You feel so fucking deeply. Our baby will be your entire heart, except for maybe a tiny piece for me", he winks at her as he flies, his long hair whipping behind him. "I promise you will be a fantastic mom, Nes. And I get the honor to watch that wonder. It's going to be nerve-wracking, neither of us has had a baby before, and it's a learning curve. But we have Nyx to practice with, and we have."

She nods softly and tucks herself closer into his arms until he lands gently in front of Madja's building. "Let's go get you and the babe checked", he murmurs on her cheek before kissing her lightly. "I'll make sure she finds something to help you."

"Thanks, Cassian", she cups his face. "I felt like I was going out of my mind and my body was rebelling against me. I've been so nauseous, jittery, anxious, scared. To insane amounts, scary amounts."

"I'll make sure you get help, my love." He strokes her abdomen gently and kisses her again before taking her hand and entering into the small cabin.