***This one's about Sam and Frodo, with a bit of Pippin and Merry thrown
in.....hope you like it***
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, but that doesn't stop me from passing judgement....and Rosie is a WHORE....ok I'm done
"Sam, are you sure you want to meet her?" Frodo asked nervously, wringing a pair of short pants in his hands. Sam looked up from where he was meticulously plucking eyebrow hairs.
"Of course darling. Hmmm, do you think I still look bushy?" Sam asked, furrowing his brow. Frodo glanced over and shook his head.
"Never plucked for me." Frodo muttered under his breath.
"What was that?" Sam called. Frodo jumped, startled that his husband had heard him from across the room.
"N-nothing." Frodo said, and then added again under his breath, "Haven't had decent sex since we got here, all cause of HER, yeah *sure* she's JUST a friend. Friend my hairy ass."
"Frodo stop muttering and put on your pants, she should be here any moment." Sam said distractedly. Frodo nodded, and hunched his shoulders over as he pulled on his pants.
"I still don't see why we have to ruin our honeymoon by seeing *her*." Frodo muttered, then jumped when he felt Sam's hand on his shoulder.
"Don't be jealous darling. It isn't very becoming." Sam said indulgently, and then turned as he heard the doorbell ring. "That must be her now."
"Oh yeah, forget about me." Frodo said angrily. Sam just shrugged and opened the door.
"Hi....oh it's you." He said wearily.
"Now that's not very nice, now is it Pip?" Merry asked. Pippin shook his head with a mischievous glint in his eye.
"Oh Pip." Merry said breathily, "You know I can't stand it when you have that glint in your eye."
And with that, Merry jumped on Pippin and they began to make out like it was 1999. Sam looked at Frodo pointedly with that, get-your-stupid-impolite- gay-friends-off-my-clean-floor-or-you'll-pay look, Frodo just shrugged and began to chant happily.
"Stupid Sam, getting what he deserves now! Soon, soon he'll know my worth, and then he'll be sorry....they'll ALL be sorry!" he yelled frantically. Sam rolled his eyes and then prodded Merry gingerly with his foot.
"Merry, I'm sorry to disturb your little erm.....*gathering* but you really must leave. I'm expecting company."
"Really?" Merry asked uninterestedly.
"Who?" Pippin asked, though the word came out rather muffled seeing as Merry was busy shoving his fingers into some very delicate areas.
"Rosie."
"WHA-?!" Pippin and Merry forgot about making out like it was 1999, and gaped at Sam.
"What would you do that for?" Merry demanded.
"She's my friend." Sam said nonchalantly.
"Yeah, and she's a whore,-- what it's true." Pippin protested angrily when Merry nudged him sharply.
"Hey, don't talk about her like that." Sam said angrily.
"I'll SHOW YOU ALL!" Frodo's screams came from the corner. Merry and Pippin eyed each other uneasily and got up off the floor, where they had been busy groping.
"We'll see ourselves out." Merry said as they quickly scampered out.
Sam sighed and looked towards where Frodo was rocking and eyeing the sofa suspiciously.
This was not the honeymoon he had planned.
***Well, I'll be going back and forth between Aragorn/Legolas, and Frodo/Sam. I really missed Gimli, and since he's dead SOMEBODY had to take his place. Well don't forget to review.***
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, but that doesn't stop me from passing judgement....and Rosie is a WHORE....ok I'm done
"Sam, are you sure you want to meet her?" Frodo asked nervously, wringing a pair of short pants in his hands. Sam looked up from where he was meticulously plucking eyebrow hairs.
"Of course darling. Hmmm, do you think I still look bushy?" Sam asked, furrowing his brow. Frodo glanced over and shook his head.
"Never plucked for me." Frodo muttered under his breath.
"What was that?" Sam called. Frodo jumped, startled that his husband had heard him from across the room.
"N-nothing." Frodo said, and then added again under his breath, "Haven't had decent sex since we got here, all cause of HER, yeah *sure* she's JUST a friend. Friend my hairy ass."
"Frodo stop muttering and put on your pants, she should be here any moment." Sam said distractedly. Frodo nodded, and hunched his shoulders over as he pulled on his pants.
"I still don't see why we have to ruin our honeymoon by seeing *her*." Frodo muttered, then jumped when he felt Sam's hand on his shoulder.
"Don't be jealous darling. It isn't very becoming." Sam said indulgently, and then turned as he heard the doorbell ring. "That must be her now."
"Oh yeah, forget about me." Frodo said angrily. Sam just shrugged and opened the door.
"Hi....oh it's you." He said wearily.
"Now that's not very nice, now is it Pip?" Merry asked. Pippin shook his head with a mischievous glint in his eye.
"Oh Pip." Merry said breathily, "You know I can't stand it when you have that glint in your eye."
And with that, Merry jumped on Pippin and they began to make out like it was 1999. Sam looked at Frodo pointedly with that, get-your-stupid-impolite- gay-friends-off-my-clean-floor-or-you'll-pay look, Frodo just shrugged and began to chant happily.
"Stupid Sam, getting what he deserves now! Soon, soon he'll know my worth, and then he'll be sorry....they'll ALL be sorry!" he yelled frantically. Sam rolled his eyes and then prodded Merry gingerly with his foot.
"Merry, I'm sorry to disturb your little erm.....*gathering* but you really must leave. I'm expecting company."
"Really?" Merry asked uninterestedly.
"Who?" Pippin asked, though the word came out rather muffled seeing as Merry was busy shoving his fingers into some very delicate areas.
"Rosie."
"WHA-?!" Pippin and Merry forgot about making out like it was 1999, and gaped at Sam.
"What would you do that for?" Merry demanded.
"She's my friend." Sam said nonchalantly.
"Yeah, and she's a whore,-- what it's true." Pippin protested angrily when Merry nudged him sharply.
"Hey, don't talk about her like that." Sam said angrily.
"I'll SHOW YOU ALL!" Frodo's screams came from the corner. Merry and Pippin eyed each other uneasily and got up off the floor, where they had been busy groping.
"We'll see ourselves out." Merry said as they quickly scampered out.
Sam sighed and looked towards where Frodo was rocking and eyeing the sofa suspiciously.
This was not the honeymoon he had planned.
***Well, I'll be going back and forth between Aragorn/Legolas, and Frodo/Sam. I really missed Gimli, and since he's dead SOMEBODY had to take his place. Well don't forget to review.***