Darcy felt that Kitty's desire to call upon Miss Lucas could not have been
better placed. If Elizabeth felt that they should carry on walking without
Miss Kitty, he decided, it would be then that he declared himself. He had
too much hope, was too much in love to wait-he had to know all before he
could live on in peace. His mind was in turmoil, now, trying to decide if
her behavior to himself was encouraging or no. She had barely spoken to him
when he called and came to dine with Bingley, but she did not seem to
dislike the fact that he came so often. And could he entirely discount her
behavior to him at Pemberley? It had not been encouraging in the flirting
meaning of the word, but her kindness and amiability then had been a great
encouragement to him. If she hadn't been called away on behalf of her
sister's elopement, he had little doubt that he would have been brought to
propose again, shameful as it might seem, and he still wondered if she
would have accepted.
Darcy felt a thrill of anticipation and nerves as Elizabeth informed the Lucases that 'they could not stay, but that she would continue rambling with Mr. Darcy to ensure that he did not get lost along the walks, which, she feared, would be quite unknown to him, seeing as he dedicated his time to shooting and balls when in the neighborhood.' He had bowed compliantly and felt a trifle less worried-if she was jesting with him, then it must result from a kindness of feeling. They continued on their way, and Darcy, gathering his courage while it was high, was ready to begin (yet in no way sensible of how he would address her) when Elizabeth spoke in slightly unsure tones.
"Mr. Darcy, I am a very selfish creature; and, for the sake of giving relief to my own feelings, care not how much I may be wounding yours. I can no longer help thanking you for your unexampled kindness to my sister. Ever since I have known it, I have been most anxious to acknowledge to you how gratefully I feel it. Were it known to the rest of the family, I should not have merely my own gratitude to express."
He was surprised, and moved that she would thank him. Yet how wrongly could she have misconstrued it?
"I am sorry, exceedingly sorry, that you have ever been informed of what may, in a mistaken light, have given you uneasiness. I did not think Mrs. Gardiner was so little to be trusted." Darcy watched her closely, attempting to discover any signs of emotion in her face. All he could detect was a slightly hightened color on her cheeks.
"You must not blame my aunt," she replied. " Lydia's thoughtlessness first betrayed to me that you had been concerned in the matter; and, of course, I could not rest until I knew the particulars. Let me thank you again and again, in the name of all my family, for that generous compassion which induced you to take so much trouble, and bear so many mortifications, for the sake of discovering them."
Darcy's hopes were high-had she really wanted to know about what he'd done? He saw an opening to tell of his own feelings. Heart throbbing in mingled hope and fear, he replied; "If you will thank me, let it be yourself alone. That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe, I thought only of you."
When she looked, down, her color high, and did not respond, Darcy pressed on, bent on knowing, now, whether it pained him or not. "You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings were still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wished are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever."
He did not quite believe the former, but he also doubted that she loved him, doubted it more severely now that it was said than before. His heart pounded and he was pained with anxiety-he did not know what would become of him if she wished him silent. When she spoke, he listened at first with anxiety, and then with heartfelt joy and rapture.
"Mr. Darcy. I pray you, understand that.I am filled with wonder and abhorrence at my own feelings in April. I can only be gratified that you have retained your affections until now, when I.can receive them with all my heart."
Darcy was scarcely able to believe it, his happiness was such, but one look at her face reassured him that she really was in love. Her cheeks were flushed, her pretty lips curved up in an embarrassed smile, and her eyes, though modestly cast down, were full of their regular sparkle, plus the warmth of real love. He drew her arm into his, wanting to express his love and gratitude now that she had made him the absolute happiest of men.
"Dearest, most perfect Elizabeth!" he exclaimed in rapture. "You do not know. you cannot guess how much happiness and satisfaction this gives me! You are truly the loveliest and dearest woman in all of England, nay, in the entire world! My affection has never gone astray, I have always loved you, and wished you to be my wife." Now she met his eyes, and held them, and their beauty and warmth washed over Darcy in a flood of joy and love.
Together, they wandered on, talking of everything and of nothing, but speaking always about their love. Darcy, in every way as happy as was humanly possible, lost himself in walking with his-finally his-Elizabeth, and felt the bond that connected them stronger than ever before.
Darcy felt a thrill of anticipation and nerves as Elizabeth informed the Lucases that 'they could not stay, but that she would continue rambling with Mr. Darcy to ensure that he did not get lost along the walks, which, she feared, would be quite unknown to him, seeing as he dedicated his time to shooting and balls when in the neighborhood.' He had bowed compliantly and felt a trifle less worried-if she was jesting with him, then it must result from a kindness of feeling. They continued on their way, and Darcy, gathering his courage while it was high, was ready to begin (yet in no way sensible of how he would address her) when Elizabeth spoke in slightly unsure tones.
"Mr. Darcy, I am a very selfish creature; and, for the sake of giving relief to my own feelings, care not how much I may be wounding yours. I can no longer help thanking you for your unexampled kindness to my sister. Ever since I have known it, I have been most anxious to acknowledge to you how gratefully I feel it. Were it known to the rest of the family, I should not have merely my own gratitude to express."
He was surprised, and moved that she would thank him. Yet how wrongly could she have misconstrued it?
"I am sorry, exceedingly sorry, that you have ever been informed of what may, in a mistaken light, have given you uneasiness. I did not think Mrs. Gardiner was so little to be trusted." Darcy watched her closely, attempting to discover any signs of emotion in her face. All he could detect was a slightly hightened color on her cheeks.
"You must not blame my aunt," she replied. " Lydia's thoughtlessness first betrayed to me that you had been concerned in the matter; and, of course, I could not rest until I knew the particulars. Let me thank you again and again, in the name of all my family, for that generous compassion which induced you to take so much trouble, and bear so many mortifications, for the sake of discovering them."
Darcy's hopes were high-had she really wanted to know about what he'd done? He saw an opening to tell of his own feelings. Heart throbbing in mingled hope and fear, he replied; "If you will thank me, let it be yourself alone. That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe, I thought only of you."
When she looked, down, her color high, and did not respond, Darcy pressed on, bent on knowing, now, whether it pained him or not. "You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings were still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wished are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever."
He did not quite believe the former, but he also doubted that she loved him, doubted it more severely now that it was said than before. His heart pounded and he was pained with anxiety-he did not know what would become of him if she wished him silent. When she spoke, he listened at first with anxiety, and then with heartfelt joy and rapture.
"Mr. Darcy. I pray you, understand that.I am filled with wonder and abhorrence at my own feelings in April. I can only be gratified that you have retained your affections until now, when I.can receive them with all my heart."
Darcy was scarcely able to believe it, his happiness was such, but one look at her face reassured him that she really was in love. Her cheeks were flushed, her pretty lips curved up in an embarrassed smile, and her eyes, though modestly cast down, were full of their regular sparkle, plus the warmth of real love. He drew her arm into his, wanting to express his love and gratitude now that she had made him the absolute happiest of men.
"Dearest, most perfect Elizabeth!" he exclaimed in rapture. "You do not know. you cannot guess how much happiness and satisfaction this gives me! You are truly the loveliest and dearest woman in all of England, nay, in the entire world! My affection has never gone astray, I have always loved you, and wished you to be my wife." Now she met his eyes, and held them, and their beauty and warmth washed over Darcy in a flood of joy and love.
Together, they wandered on, talking of everything and of nothing, but speaking always about their love. Darcy, in every way as happy as was humanly possible, lost himself in walking with his-finally his-Elizabeth, and felt the bond that connected them stronger than ever before.