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Chapter 3

Rating: PG-13

Don't own a one of 'em!  They just borrow my head for their playground.  A LOT!

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Meanwhile, the Wicked D.A. ~ um, I mean Witch of the West was monitoring Jordan and the gang's progress via the security cameras she had strategically placed throughout the Land of Morgue. 

"Damn it!  They're almost to Crypt City.  I have to find some way to stop them."  She stroked her pointy green chin.  "I wonder. . .  No, poppies would never work.  They've seen the movie."

She looked over at her head winged-monkey who was trying to escape through the window.

"Winged-monkey Garret!  Get back here right now!"

"But Renee. . .Ma'am. . ."

"But what?  How dare you think that you're in charge.  I can have your job in a second.  All I have to do is snap my fingers and. . ."

"Alright." Garret decided he'd better go along with her.  Under his breath, he was muttering, "for now anyway.  When Jordan gets here. . ."

"When what?  Jordan?  Why are you worried about her.  You work for me!"

"They're almost to the field.  Aren't you going to do something?"

"I suppose poisoned poppies will have to do.  Since you've derailed my train of thought in your misguided attempt to escape."  She turned to a computer, typed in her instructions and hit enter.  In less than a second, one of the surveillance cameras showed poppies covering the path leading to the City of Morgue, aka Crypt City.  "There we go.  Let's see that incompetent egotistical little girl you hired as 'grief counselor' top that!"

Garret sighed and settled back on his haunches to await the instructions he knew were coming.

Jordan and the gang came to the edge of the forest.  They all groaned when they saw the poppies.

"Why?  Haven't we done enough with the drug references?"  Peter groaned.

"Peter, you're the one reading stuff into it.  They're just poppies that Renee. . .um, the Wicked Witch of the West has arranged to put us to sleep.  But you're Scarecrow.  You're not even one who's affected."

"Oh yeah.  Wait, what's that bubble thing? Please don't tell me I'm. . ."

"It's Lily. . .um, Glenda!"  Bug jumped up excitedly.

"Down boy."  Jordan rolled her eyes.

Max patted Bug on the head.  "It's ok.  Just give it time.  We'll get you a bit of a backbone before you know it."

Woody had been standing still, just observing.  When he remembered what the poppies were supposed to do, he moved towards Jordan.  "You cannot go through there.  I will not let you!"

"Hey, I'm already in this ASC!  What's a little more. . .?"

"No!  I won't let you."

"Really?  Then. . .whacha gonna do when ya rust?  I've got the oil can farm boy!"  She punched him playfully on the arm.

"Oh.  Well. . ."  Woody had to admit he was stuck.

"Ha! Now just follow me."

"Jordan, aren't we going to see what Glenda has for us?"  Peter tugged at her sleeve.

"Oh.  Sorry, I got. . .distracted."  She turned and grinned at Woody.  "Yeah, let's see what she has to tell us."

The shimmering golden bubble came closer and closer.  Finally Lily stepped out of it.  "Boy, I could get used to that mode of transportation."

"Lily!!!!!!!"  The entire gang yelled.  They were all more than ready for this to end.

"Lily, please.  The sooner we finish this, the sooner I can come out of this ASC and get on with my life."

"Alright, alright.  As I lack the ability to make it snow, I managed to procure some of these from the local Army-Navy Surplus."  She pulled three gas masks from the bag she had over her shoulder.  "These should get the three of you who are actually supposed to breathe across safely.  Now go, quickly.  The Wicked D.A. of. . ."

"Witch!"  5 voices chimed in.

"Yeah, whatever. She'll be after you soon.  You know the rest.  Go!  You're almost to the Computer Wizard of Morgue."

"Alright.  Thanks Lily!" Jordan slid her gas mask on, then helped Max/Lion put his on as his paws were getting in the way.  Peter/Scarecrow helped Bug with his.  And the little band trooped through the poppies.

They soon found themselves at the door to the City of Morgue.  They started to reach for the bell when a hole opened and a familiar head poked out.

"What are you doing here?"

"Eddie! Hey!"

"Hey Jordan.  Max, good to see you.  Nice mane."

"Thanks Eddie."

"So wait, weren't we supposed to ring the bell and then there's all that. . ."

"Hey, we're high tech around here.  I saw you coming from halfway across that field."

"Oh.  Ok."  Jordan looked at her party then back at Eddie.  "We need to see the Computer Wizard of Morgue."

"Sorry.  No one gets to see him.  He just emails our orders."

"But we have to!  He's got to help Dad get some courage to tell me the truth.  To help Peter get enough confidence that we realize that he does have a brain.  To give Woody some kind of armor around that heart of his.  And to get me the hell out of this stupid ASC!  Eddie, please!"

"Alright.  I might lose my job for this, but I guess I owe you.  Come on.  I'll take you down to the door."

"But we have to. . ."

"Bug, shut up!"  Jordan had had just about enough of his insistence on keeping the silliest parts of the movie true to form.

"Alright, alright.  I'll play along.  It is your ASC."

"Thank you."

Eddie led them to the door to the room that contained the Computer Wizard of Morgue.  "Alright.  Here you are.  Go ahead. But don't say I didn't warn you.  He has quite the temper."

Jordan raised a hand and knocked on the door.

"What?"  A disgruntled British voice sounded.

"Oh great Computer Wizard, may we come in?"

"Fine. Whatever.  I don't have the energy to fight right now.  Come in."

"Nigel!  Aren't you supposed to be behind a curtain or something?"

"I'm not interested my dear.  I'm just so tired of only being thought of one way."

"Nigel, I don't think of you just in one way.  You're so much more than what you can do with your computer."  Jordan was trying to placate Nigel in the best way she knew how.

"Do you mind?  I think I might get sick." Woody turned away from the scene in front of him.

"Oh my.  No need to ask what you need.  Don't you worry, Woody my man.  We'll get that heart of yours girded up very nicely."

"Gee.  Thanks."

"Now.  You know the drill.  Blah, blah, blah.  Bring me the gavel of the Wicked D.A./Witch of the Courtroom. Then we'll see what we can do for each of you."

"Ok.  But where do we find her?"  Jordan was trying hard to remember that part of the movie.

"Oh, don't worry.  Just take the bloodstained path and she'll find you soon enough."

"Alright.  We'll be back soon."  Jordan circled her troops and they waved at Nigel on their way out the door.

Nigel turned towards his computer screen and sighed. "I really hope she knows what she's doing this time.  Renee is not one to be trifled with."

. . .to be continued. . .