Daria wakes up to the sound of her alarm, and hits the thing to silence it.
It reads 6:30. She sits up and rubs her eyes, waits a moment for them to
focus to their normal blurry state, then fumbles for her glasses.
CUT TO INSIDE OF CLOSET, FACING THE DOOR-Daria opens the door, a column of light illuminating the clothes resting on hangers inside. Once her eyes focus on the clothes inside, her eyes widen suddenly. She curses.
CUT TO INSIDE OF CLOSET, FACING THE CLOTHES-Instead of the usual green jackets, orange t-shirts, and pleated black skirts that make up Daria's wardrobe, there are tight pink t-shirts and flare blue jeans hanging off the hangers, reminiscent of the episode "Quinn the Brain"-only there is the word PRINCESS written across the front in bright, cheerful red lettering. The boots, fortunately, are still there, resting in the corner. She grabs a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and, still wearing her pajamas, walks into Quinn's room. Quinn is already fully dressed and on the cordless phone, brushing her hair with one hand and holding the phone to her ear with the other.
QUINN: (still on the phone) Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Yeah, I know. Uh-huh. Stacey, what kind of blush do you think would go better with that blue blouse? Oh, really. Yeah.
DARIA: (gives Quinn a scathing glare)
QUINN: Ah, Stacey, I think I'll have to call you back. Uh-huh. Talk to you in class. Bye. (walks over and places the phone on the bed)
DARIA: (brandishing clothes) Quinn, what is this all about? I have a nagging feeling that you were involved in this.
QUINN: I, uh, thought your wardrobe needed an update from that horrible green thing you wear everywhere. Green is sooo last season. I'm sick of having to hide you all the time, Daria, it's really not good for my reputation. Sandi's beginning to suspect that you're my sister. So, if I'm going to break the news to them anytime soon, well, you have to look at least a little respectable.
DARIA: Quinn. Where the hell are my clothes? (her eyes slant angrily)
QUINN: (puts a hand to her mouth) Oh, look at the time, Daria. I'd better get going. Don't wanna be late for school, you know? Skylar promised he'd drive me to school this morning. See ya!
DARIA: No! Wait! (reaches out to Quinn, but she's already out the front door before further protest can be made.) (she looks down at the small pink t-shirt and flare jeans.)
DARIA: Damn.
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CUT TO DARIA'S ROOM-Daria searches everywhere for one of her black skirts, or green jackets.something, anything to keep her from wearing some of the current contents of her closet out of necessity. She peers under the bed, behind the desk, behind the door, but ultimately finds nothing. She stops, and once again opens the closet and takes a long stare at the clothes inside.
DARIA: (thinking) Oh, god. I can't believe I'm doing this.
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CUT TO THE MORGENDORFFER KITCHEN-Daria walks in wearing the form-fitting pink t-shirt and flare jeans, looking as she did that time in "Quinn The Brain" only this time wearing glasses and the same black boots as always- their nearly knee-high tops covered by the flares so that only the bottoms show. Of course, her face is devoid of makeup and expression. Jake is seated at his usual place at the table, reading a newspaper. A cup of coffee is by his elbow, and he takes a sip. Helen is sitting across from Jake, cup of coffee also in hand, reading a paper of some sort from her briefcase.
HELEN: (without looking up) Quinn honey, I thought you let with your date a few minutes ago.
DARIA: I'm not Quinn.
JAKE: (looks up) Huh? Oh. Daria. (confused expression on his face) Um, nice outfit. (continues reading)
DARIA: Yeah. Quinn hid all my clothes and replaced them with the mall's latest fashions. There will be all hell to pay. (beat) Hey, Mom, do you think I could skip school today? I've been feeling kinda down lately.
HELEN: Now Daria, you should really think about expanding your social horizons.
JAKE: Daria's making friends? Well, I think that's wonderful, Daria! Way to go, kiddo!
HELEN: (shoots Jake a murderous look)
DARIA: (blank expression) (turns and walks out of scene. in the background you hear a door opening and closing with a bang)
JAKE: What? What'd I do? (looks around)
CUT TO INSIDE OF CLOSET, FACING THE DOOR-Daria opens the door, a column of light illuminating the clothes resting on hangers inside. Once her eyes focus on the clothes inside, her eyes widen suddenly. She curses.
CUT TO INSIDE OF CLOSET, FACING THE CLOTHES-Instead of the usual green jackets, orange t-shirts, and pleated black skirts that make up Daria's wardrobe, there are tight pink t-shirts and flare blue jeans hanging off the hangers, reminiscent of the episode "Quinn the Brain"-only there is the word PRINCESS written across the front in bright, cheerful red lettering. The boots, fortunately, are still there, resting in the corner. She grabs a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and, still wearing her pajamas, walks into Quinn's room. Quinn is already fully dressed and on the cordless phone, brushing her hair with one hand and holding the phone to her ear with the other.
QUINN: (still on the phone) Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Yeah, I know. Uh-huh. Stacey, what kind of blush do you think would go better with that blue blouse? Oh, really. Yeah.
DARIA: (gives Quinn a scathing glare)
QUINN: Ah, Stacey, I think I'll have to call you back. Uh-huh. Talk to you in class. Bye. (walks over and places the phone on the bed)
DARIA: (brandishing clothes) Quinn, what is this all about? I have a nagging feeling that you were involved in this.
QUINN: I, uh, thought your wardrobe needed an update from that horrible green thing you wear everywhere. Green is sooo last season. I'm sick of having to hide you all the time, Daria, it's really not good for my reputation. Sandi's beginning to suspect that you're my sister. So, if I'm going to break the news to them anytime soon, well, you have to look at least a little respectable.
DARIA: Quinn. Where the hell are my clothes? (her eyes slant angrily)
QUINN: (puts a hand to her mouth) Oh, look at the time, Daria. I'd better get going. Don't wanna be late for school, you know? Skylar promised he'd drive me to school this morning. See ya!
DARIA: No! Wait! (reaches out to Quinn, but she's already out the front door before further protest can be made.) (she looks down at the small pink t-shirt and flare jeans.)
DARIA: Damn.
--------
CUT TO DARIA'S ROOM-Daria searches everywhere for one of her black skirts, or green jackets.something, anything to keep her from wearing some of the current contents of her closet out of necessity. She peers under the bed, behind the desk, behind the door, but ultimately finds nothing. She stops, and once again opens the closet and takes a long stare at the clothes inside.
DARIA: (thinking) Oh, god. I can't believe I'm doing this.
--------
CUT TO THE MORGENDORFFER KITCHEN-Daria walks in wearing the form-fitting pink t-shirt and flare jeans, looking as she did that time in "Quinn The Brain" only this time wearing glasses and the same black boots as always- their nearly knee-high tops covered by the flares so that only the bottoms show. Of course, her face is devoid of makeup and expression. Jake is seated at his usual place at the table, reading a newspaper. A cup of coffee is by his elbow, and he takes a sip. Helen is sitting across from Jake, cup of coffee also in hand, reading a paper of some sort from her briefcase.
HELEN: (without looking up) Quinn honey, I thought you let with your date a few minutes ago.
DARIA: I'm not Quinn.
JAKE: (looks up) Huh? Oh. Daria. (confused expression on his face) Um, nice outfit. (continues reading)
DARIA: Yeah. Quinn hid all my clothes and replaced them with the mall's latest fashions. There will be all hell to pay. (beat) Hey, Mom, do you think I could skip school today? I've been feeling kinda down lately.
HELEN: Now Daria, you should really think about expanding your social horizons.
JAKE: Daria's making friends? Well, I think that's wonderful, Daria! Way to go, kiddo!
HELEN: (shoots Jake a murderous look)
DARIA: (blank expression) (turns and walks out of scene. in the background you hear a door opening and closing with a bang)
JAKE: What? What'd I do? (looks around)