Okay I lied. This WAS going to be a one shot fic but last night an interesting twist for a second chapter came to me and I decided to write it. So be happy people.

The first chapter is still dedicated to Dark Mimi-chan, who is such a fan of the Tsukasa/Mimiru coupling.

But this chapter is dedicated to Akichi who still believes Tsukasa/Subaru is the only coupling possible for Tsukasa. Enjoy, Akichi!

Samanda

Disclaimer: I do not own dot hack or any of the characters named in this story.

Discreet Secrets Part Two

Mimiru's POV:

I squeeze Tsukasa's hand and smile at him encouragingly. Reassured, he's able to smile back at me before he drops back to talk to Subaru.

With him behind me I'm able to drop the mask of cheerful optimism without worrying that he'll see it and ask me what's wrong.

But then he doesn't know. He's sees me as his best friend and to him that's all I'll ever be. I feel so much more than friendship for Tsukasa but I'll never be able to share it with him.

You see he's in love with Subaru.

When he asked to talk to me alone last week, my heart sped up and all I could think was: Yes! He's finally noticed me!

And so I went with him.

But when he took my hand and looked into my eyes I started to shake. Then he turned a little away from me as he made his request.

"I need your help, Mimiru. I need Subaru to notice me." He said with a little blush.

I think that was the point that I paled. I know for certain that that was the point where I felt ill. I excused myself quickly, telling him that my mother was calling me and I would be back shortly before I logged out.

I barely made it to the bathroom on time to rid myself of my lunch. As I sat there shaking with the coldness of the tile seeping into my body, I came to a decision.

I had already known that I would do whatever it took to make Tsukasa happy. It made him happy to have me as a friend. And Subaru also made Tsukasa happy in a way I couldn't do for him it seemed.

And that stung.

But life is full of things that never seem to go your way and I had learned that lesson already. And so I walked back to my room on shaky legs to log back onto The World.

I told Tsukasa I would help him with what he asked me while I silently prayed for the strength to finish this task to the end. Maybe by then I'd be able to accept his choice.

But that point is here but I still haven't accepted it. I think it will take much longer than a week for that.

And now he's gone to tell his love how he feels. It's what I suggested he do. Subaru doesn't need to notice him, she already has. I can tell that Subaru loves him because she has all the signs that I've been hiding.

I wonder when Bear and BT will realize that my mask of childishness and naivete is too perfect to be real. That no one can have grown to the age of fifteen without gained some maturity.

But enough of that subject. I don't have the time to ponder questions like that one right now.

What's this I see? Subaru is shaking her head 'no' to Tsukasa? Could he have bungled that simple speech I gave him?

Well Tsukasa looks devastated. He turns away from Subaru and gates away. I guess it's time for me to stick my oar into the waters so to speak.

I head over to where Subaru is standing and ask her a question. "What did you say to him?"

Subaru looks up at me. Beyond the doll like mask every character has I can see traces of hurt and despair. Her suffering must be great indeed for it to show through no matter how faintly.

She spoke to me with jealousy in her voice. "I told him that he cannot love me. I see the way he looks at you and I know he feels more for you than he ever will for me."

"You fool," I said harshly. "He approached me so I could help him win you. He wanted you to notice him. I told him all he needed to do was tell you how he felt. I kept to myself how I know you felt in return since that is a private thing between you and him. I knew you wouldn't appreciate me telling him something so personal."

"He really said that?" Subaru was uncertain.

"Yes." I gentled my tone as I looked at Subaru biting her lip. "He loves you, Subaru. You need not be jealous of me. I hold only the place of 'friend' and nothing more."

Subaru's uncertainty faded and she stood up tall like Crim had once bade her to do so. "Thank you, Mimiru. How can I ever repay you?"

Her thanks and offer of repayment wounded my already tortured soul so I spoke more harshly than I meant to. "Just make him happy, Subaru. That's all I want from you."

I turned and started walking back into the direction I had come from. I was only a few feet away when her soft voice called out to me again.

"Why are you helping us anyway?"

I stopped then looked back at her then answered simply. "Because Tsukasa asked me to."

For that one moment I had forgotten my mask and whatever she saw quieted her. She hesitated then embraced me quickly as she whispered something to me before gating away to follow Tsukasa.

I abruptly changed my mind and left The World. I had had enough of reality and fantasy today.

"I understand." Her two words haunted me as I became aware of the real world again.

I guess I'm not the consummate actress I thought I was.