Chapter 8
Letting Her Go
May gently stroke her brother's hair trying to calm him. His crying came in choking sobs as he tired to stop and control them. Halfred was the older brother and he should have been the one to help his younger sister with her grief, but she was comforting him. He lightly pushed May away so he could look into her eyes. Her beautiful little face was that of an angel, so trusting and so kind. Her soft hazel eyes were clouded with thick flowing tears that ran down her full chubby, white cheeks. Her face was etched with so much fear and doubt it took his breath away and brought him back from his own despair.
"It will be okay, May. I am here and I promise I will always be here for you," Halfred told her. He securely wrapped his arms around his little sister as they both clung to each other crying.
~*~
The Gaffer reached his arms under his wife and picked her up from the ground. He carried her gently into the house and made his way to their bedroom. Laying her down on the bed he carefully folder her hands and he pressed them between his. "What should I do now, Bell? How am I to go on with you?" The Gaffer looked at her dear face and he put his hands over his eyes and he sobbed. He knew he needed to get the healer and have him prepare her body for her funeral, but he could hardly pull himself away from her. Hearing his children's crying, he knew he needed to do something.
Sam stood at the end of the bed with his sister Daisy, looking down at his mother. He was so lost in his own grief that he could not speak. The Gaffer stood and approached both his children. He put his arms around them, but still Sam did not respond. The Gaffer walked out of the bedroom so the children could say their good-byes. He went in search of the healer to begin preparations for her funeral.
Sam walked over to his mother and sat down next to her on the bed. "Forgive me Mama, please forgive me," Sam cried from his heart. He pressed his hand to hers and held it tightly.
Daisy's heart broke for Sam watching him crying so hard that she turned and ran out of the bedroom. She leaned against the wall sobbing and sunk to her knees.
~*~
Climbing onto his wagon, the Gaffer snapped the reins and headed the ponies towards Hobbiton. Alone in the wagon, all of his memories of Bell rushed through his mind. He remembered the day he had met her, the day he started courting her and the day they were wed.
Bell was born and raised at Bagshot Row with her parents and three brothers and her sister. They were poor folk with little to nothing to live on. Even though Bell knew more of work than of the finer things in life, her spirit was always kind and gentle. The Gaffer took a summer job in the gardens during the harvest when he first met Bell. When they married, she made him promise to take her away from Bagshot Row and never return. They began to build their own dreams together. They were blessed with two strong boys when her father suddenly died. Bagshot Row was left to Bell in her father's will and the Gaffer soon convinced her that they should return. He promised her that he could turn Bagshot Row into a fine hobbit home with beautiful gardens and more tatters than a hobbit could eat. However, after one hard year after another, those dreams crept further and further away. As the years past, and having three beautiful girls and another boy, they continued to struggle to make ends meet. The Gaffer worked harder than any hobbit could possibly trying to make their dreams come true. However, when Marigold was born and became very sick, she died. From then on it changed the Gaffer forever. All that he promise Bell, he could not make it come true. The Gaffer became bitter and angry with life at how unfair it had treated them. However, this was the final straw that broke the Gaffer. How would he ever heal from the greatest lost that he had ever suffered?
The Gaffer spotted a healer walking down the streets of Hobbiton and he called him over to his wagon. Some town folk heard what the Gaffer told the healer and they began to spread the word through out Hobbiton of Bell Gamgee's death.
The healers grabbed his bag and join the Gaffer in his wagon. The Gaffer turned the team of ponies around and headed back to Bagshot Row.
~*~
Frodo walked outside to wait for Sam and the Gaffer as they were both very late. Frodo paced outside of Bag End when he looked down at the road that led into Hobbiton. He saw the Gaffer's wagon as it was heading back to Bagshot Row and he saw that a healer was sitting next to him. Frodo knew something had happened and he worried thinking it was Sam.
Frodo quickly ran into Bag End and told Bilbo what he saw and they both decided to walk to Bagshot Row to see if there was anything that they could do to help.
~*~
The healer climbed from the wagon and went directly into Bell's bedroom. When the healer asked Sam to leave his mother's side so he could prepare her. Sam would not respond. The healer tried to gently coax Sam from the room, but Sam shoved him away and he sat back down next to his mother. Sam would not allow anyone to touch her.
When Frodo and Bilbo entered Bagshot Row. The Gaffer told them what had happened and told them that Sam was taking it very hard. He would not allow anyone to prepare Bell for her funeral.
Frodo understood exactly how Sam felt since he lost both of his parents. Even though Frodo was twelve years old at the time of his parent's death, he still remembered that day as if it was yesterday. The many years that had past did not take away the memories and the pain he felt that day. He still had carried it with him even after all these years.
Frodo went into Bell's bedroom and sat down next to Sam. He began talking with Sam about his parent's death. He told them about their funeral and how hard it was for him.
Sam hearing about Frodo's experience began to cry and he hugged Frodo. Sam knew that he and Frodo now shared something that they would both carry for the rest of their lives.
When Frodo asked Sam to leave his mother's side and follow him into the next room. Sam refused and turned away from Frodo.
"Sam, I do not understand. Why won't you leave your mother's side?" asked Frodo.
"I can't Mr. Frodo, not until I know that my mother has forgiven me. I need to know that before I let her go," Sam told him.
"Sam, what is it that you need forgiveness for?"
"It is my fault, Mr. Frodo. I caused this to happen to my Mama. This time when I blunder, it took Mama away," Sam told him.
"Sam, you did not cause your mother to die," said Frodo.
"Yes, I did. I dreamed that she died when I woke up this morning. In my dream, Mama drowned in the pond we were at yesterday. I tried to save her, honestly I did. The water was too deep and I was afraid. Every time I jumped into the water to save her, she just floated away from me. It is because I dreamed this that I made it happen that she died," Sam told him.
"Sam, listen to me. No one can cause a person to die because they dreamed it. That can not happen. You must believe me, Sam," Frodo told him.
"I saw her Mr. Frodo, just before she died. My Mama told me she loved me and called me her dearest son." Sam said as he broke down in tears as he heard his mother's voice speaking these words in his head.
"Yes, Sam. Your mother loves you. She would not want to you cry so much for her. She loves you enough that she wants you to be happy. Your mother would never want you to be this sad, Sam. No mother wants their child to be sad," Frodo tried to comfort him.
"How can I ever be happy again, Mr. Frodo. All my happiness was taken away from me. Gone forever, gone with my dear mother. I want to go with her," Sam sobbed.
"I too wanted to go with my mother and father. I should have been on that boat that day with them. But I wasn't. I was left on the bank watching them float away. I can not follow them where they are now, but I can remember them in my heart. They wanted me to go on without them. To live my life and find my own happiness. I know Bell would want the same thing for you. Please, Sam. For your mother's sake. Let her go," begged Frodo.
Sam gently touched his mother's face with the palms of his hand and he bent down and kissed her cheek. "Good-bye, Mama. Your Sam loves you, I'll never forget you, Mama. I will never forget."
Sam stood up and covered his face with his hands. His cries came out in choking pain as Frodo put his arm around him and walked him out from Bell's bedroom. He led Sam outside so he could have a moment to be by himself.
Sam looked up with a tear streaked face as Hamson ran past him and dashed through the open door of Bagshot Row.
Letting Her Go
May gently stroke her brother's hair trying to calm him. His crying came in choking sobs as he tired to stop and control them. Halfred was the older brother and he should have been the one to help his younger sister with her grief, but she was comforting him. He lightly pushed May away so he could look into her eyes. Her beautiful little face was that of an angel, so trusting and so kind. Her soft hazel eyes were clouded with thick flowing tears that ran down her full chubby, white cheeks. Her face was etched with so much fear and doubt it took his breath away and brought him back from his own despair.
"It will be okay, May. I am here and I promise I will always be here for you," Halfred told her. He securely wrapped his arms around his little sister as they both clung to each other crying.
~*~
The Gaffer reached his arms under his wife and picked her up from the ground. He carried her gently into the house and made his way to their bedroom. Laying her down on the bed he carefully folder her hands and he pressed them between his. "What should I do now, Bell? How am I to go on with you?" The Gaffer looked at her dear face and he put his hands over his eyes and he sobbed. He knew he needed to get the healer and have him prepare her body for her funeral, but he could hardly pull himself away from her. Hearing his children's crying, he knew he needed to do something.
Sam stood at the end of the bed with his sister Daisy, looking down at his mother. He was so lost in his own grief that he could not speak. The Gaffer stood and approached both his children. He put his arms around them, but still Sam did not respond. The Gaffer walked out of the bedroom so the children could say their good-byes. He went in search of the healer to begin preparations for her funeral.
Sam walked over to his mother and sat down next to her on the bed. "Forgive me Mama, please forgive me," Sam cried from his heart. He pressed his hand to hers and held it tightly.
Daisy's heart broke for Sam watching him crying so hard that she turned and ran out of the bedroom. She leaned against the wall sobbing and sunk to her knees.
~*~
Climbing onto his wagon, the Gaffer snapped the reins and headed the ponies towards Hobbiton. Alone in the wagon, all of his memories of Bell rushed through his mind. He remembered the day he had met her, the day he started courting her and the day they were wed.
Bell was born and raised at Bagshot Row with her parents and three brothers and her sister. They were poor folk with little to nothing to live on. Even though Bell knew more of work than of the finer things in life, her spirit was always kind and gentle. The Gaffer took a summer job in the gardens during the harvest when he first met Bell. When they married, she made him promise to take her away from Bagshot Row and never return. They began to build their own dreams together. They were blessed with two strong boys when her father suddenly died. Bagshot Row was left to Bell in her father's will and the Gaffer soon convinced her that they should return. He promised her that he could turn Bagshot Row into a fine hobbit home with beautiful gardens and more tatters than a hobbit could eat. However, after one hard year after another, those dreams crept further and further away. As the years past, and having three beautiful girls and another boy, they continued to struggle to make ends meet. The Gaffer worked harder than any hobbit could possibly trying to make their dreams come true. However, when Marigold was born and became very sick, she died. From then on it changed the Gaffer forever. All that he promise Bell, he could not make it come true. The Gaffer became bitter and angry with life at how unfair it had treated them. However, this was the final straw that broke the Gaffer. How would he ever heal from the greatest lost that he had ever suffered?
The Gaffer spotted a healer walking down the streets of Hobbiton and he called him over to his wagon. Some town folk heard what the Gaffer told the healer and they began to spread the word through out Hobbiton of Bell Gamgee's death.
The healers grabbed his bag and join the Gaffer in his wagon. The Gaffer turned the team of ponies around and headed back to Bagshot Row.
~*~
Frodo walked outside to wait for Sam and the Gaffer as they were both very late. Frodo paced outside of Bag End when he looked down at the road that led into Hobbiton. He saw the Gaffer's wagon as it was heading back to Bagshot Row and he saw that a healer was sitting next to him. Frodo knew something had happened and he worried thinking it was Sam.
Frodo quickly ran into Bag End and told Bilbo what he saw and they both decided to walk to Bagshot Row to see if there was anything that they could do to help.
~*~
The healer climbed from the wagon and went directly into Bell's bedroom. When the healer asked Sam to leave his mother's side so he could prepare her. Sam would not respond. The healer tried to gently coax Sam from the room, but Sam shoved him away and he sat back down next to his mother. Sam would not allow anyone to touch her.
When Frodo and Bilbo entered Bagshot Row. The Gaffer told them what had happened and told them that Sam was taking it very hard. He would not allow anyone to prepare Bell for her funeral.
Frodo understood exactly how Sam felt since he lost both of his parents. Even though Frodo was twelve years old at the time of his parent's death, he still remembered that day as if it was yesterday. The many years that had past did not take away the memories and the pain he felt that day. He still had carried it with him even after all these years.
Frodo went into Bell's bedroom and sat down next to Sam. He began talking with Sam about his parent's death. He told them about their funeral and how hard it was for him.
Sam hearing about Frodo's experience began to cry and he hugged Frodo. Sam knew that he and Frodo now shared something that they would both carry for the rest of their lives.
When Frodo asked Sam to leave his mother's side and follow him into the next room. Sam refused and turned away from Frodo.
"Sam, I do not understand. Why won't you leave your mother's side?" asked Frodo.
"I can't Mr. Frodo, not until I know that my mother has forgiven me. I need to know that before I let her go," Sam told him.
"Sam, what is it that you need forgiveness for?"
"It is my fault, Mr. Frodo. I caused this to happen to my Mama. This time when I blunder, it took Mama away," Sam told him.
"Sam, you did not cause your mother to die," said Frodo.
"Yes, I did. I dreamed that she died when I woke up this morning. In my dream, Mama drowned in the pond we were at yesterday. I tried to save her, honestly I did. The water was too deep and I was afraid. Every time I jumped into the water to save her, she just floated away from me. It is because I dreamed this that I made it happen that she died," Sam told him.
"Sam, listen to me. No one can cause a person to die because they dreamed it. That can not happen. You must believe me, Sam," Frodo told him.
"I saw her Mr. Frodo, just before she died. My Mama told me she loved me and called me her dearest son." Sam said as he broke down in tears as he heard his mother's voice speaking these words in his head.
"Yes, Sam. Your mother loves you. She would not want to you cry so much for her. She loves you enough that she wants you to be happy. Your mother would never want you to be this sad, Sam. No mother wants their child to be sad," Frodo tried to comfort him.
"How can I ever be happy again, Mr. Frodo. All my happiness was taken away from me. Gone forever, gone with my dear mother. I want to go with her," Sam sobbed.
"I too wanted to go with my mother and father. I should have been on that boat that day with them. But I wasn't. I was left on the bank watching them float away. I can not follow them where they are now, but I can remember them in my heart. They wanted me to go on without them. To live my life and find my own happiness. I know Bell would want the same thing for you. Please, Sam. For your mother's sake. Let her go," begged Frodo.
Sam gently touched his mother's face with the palms of his hand and he bent down and kissed her cheek. "Good-bye, Mama. Your Sam loves you, I'll never forget you, Mama. I will never forget."
Sam stood up and covered his face with his hands. His cries came out in choking pain as Frodo put his arm around him and walked him out from Bell's bedroom. He led Sam outside so he could have a moment to be by himself.
Sam looked up with a tear streaked face as Hamson ran past him and dashed through the open door of Bagshot Row.