I shouldn't be doing this, you know. I shouldn't be dialing your number. I
shouldn't be bothering you. I shouldn't let this phone ring. Too late...
Ring, ring... Ring, ring... Ring, ring...
Maybe I should just hang up? But, what if you're home, and I hang up just as you pick up? I know that really pisses you off sometimes. And other times it just makes you really paranoid. I know you, Yamato. Or, at least, I did.
-Click-
'Hi!'
"Hello?"
'We're not in right now -'
Oh... Of course not. You wouldn't be... Why would you be sitting around at home? You wouldn't be. Because, unlike me, you have a life. One that I used to be a part of... What happened, Yama? Wasn't I supposed to be your best friend?
'- So if you want, leave a message!'
Sure, why not? You like to get messages, it reassures you that people can still be bothered to call and see how you're doing... The thought of them not having a life gives you pleasure. You smirk at the thought...You never return calls, though... So what's the point of an answering machine? Yeah... Why should I leave a message? I mean, it's such a waste of my time considering I won't hear back from you anyway... You know what?
Beeeeeeeeeep!
What should I say? Anything? Maybe I should just hang up. No, that'd piss you off too... Well, you know what? I'm pissed off, Yamato. And you know what else?
"Fuck you, Yamato."
-Click-
Oh. My. Kami-sama. Taichi! How could you do that? Why did you do that? You baka. He'll recognize your voice. He always could. He'll criticize himself for not calling you in so long. He'll feel guilty. And then he'll get mad. Yea, that's just how Yamato is. He'll probably call you. Or maybe he'll just turn up at your house and punch you in the face. Yama was always blunt. Well, not as blunt as you, eh, Taichi? But your bluntness was really just ignorance, eh? Ah, quit being so down on yourself, you're starting to remind me of Yamato. Shimatta! Every-fucking-thing reminds me of Yamato. It's no use. What a jerk he is, with his fame and arrogance and stupidness. All his self- righteousness and his startlingly blue eyes, golden locks and silk-soft pale skin...
Ring, ring...
Gods, I miss you, my Yama-kun.
Ring, ring...
I guess I should answer the phone, eh? C'mon Taichi, just pick up the receiver. Oh, really now, Taichi-baka, it's not going to be Yamato!
Ring-
"Hello?"
"Well, hello, Taichi."
Oh Gods. Oh Gods. Oh Gods. Kuso!
"Y-Yamato? Hi, how are you?"
Keep cool, Tai. Just keep cool. Look on the bright side, at least he didn't decide to show up and smack you, eh?
"What's with the message you left on my machine, Taichi?"
Kuso! Bakabakabaka! He didn't answer the phone because he's hungover. For Gods sake, Taichi, it's only 11am. He's probably got one hell of a headache. Oh Gods! And you're supposed to be his best friend, Taichi. You know? The person who sticks by him through everything? You yarou!
"U-Uh... Well, Yamato..."
And here it comes, his big hissy fit about how you're supposed to be his best friend and all. You know him so well, don't you, Taichi?
"'Fuck you, Yamato'?! How the hell could you say that, Taichi? I know I haven't called you in a week or two, maybe, but you of all people should understand how hard it is to make phonecalls when you're doing gigs all the fucking time! I'm a busy person, dammit, and you're supposed to understand that, Taichi. You're supposed to be my friend. Or maybe I was just mistaken, ne Yagami-san?"
Kuso. He's fuming. He wants to bitch? Fine. I can bitch too.
"Well maybe, just maybe, Yamato, if you cut down on the partying you wouldn't be so hungover all the damn time. Did that ever occur to you? If you didn't party so much you'd have time to call your friends. You know, friends? Your real friends? Not just the idiots who party with you. The same idiots that give you all that crap. Those drugs are bad for you, Yamato, and all you're doing by taking them is worrying the crap outta all of your real friends. The people who care about you! Doesn't that mean anything to you? Do you even give a fucking damn?! You scare the people who love you, and just for a cheap thrill. A good trip. You don't care if Tekaru loves you? Or your dad, or mom? What about me, Yamato? Kisama! What about me?!"
Shimatta. I hate crying. You hate crying. You're crying, Taichi. And maybe now Yamato will know just how much he's hurting you...
"Tai... I..."
Oh no! He's crying, now. Look what you did, Taichi. Brilliant. He's trying not to show that he's crying though, of course. Typically Yamato. But he can't hide those sniffles completely. Oh, and his voice sounds miserable. My poor, poor Yama.
"Gomen, Yamato, gomen. I didn't mean to yell like that..."
You didn't? I thought you were mad at him? And now you're... You're sorry?! Baka.
"No... Tai, you have every right to yell at me. I know what kind of a horrible person I am... I'm sorry, Taichi."
Horrible person? No, Yamato. No~. You're not horrible. You're angelic. You're perfect. You're beautiful. Anything but horrible, my Yamato, anything!
"You're not a horrible person, Yamato. Hell, if you were do you think I'd be bothering with you?"
Now, fake a laugh. Good, Taichi. Very good. You're getting good at acting fine, aren't'cha? Yep. Good.
"Hah. I don't know anymore, Tai..."
You don't know what?
"What are you talking about?"
"N-Nothing... Forget it."
Su~re it's nothing. I'll drop it, for now...
"Okay,"
Yea, 'Okay,' Hah.
"Hey, Taichi?"
"Yeah, Yama?"
Bakabakabaka! He'll notice you called him 'Yama'!
"Be happy, okay, Tai?"
Be happy? Uh... sure... At least he didn't notice I called him 'Yama', right?
"What do you mean 'Be happy'? What are you talking about?"
Damn, that blond is so confusing sometimes!
"Just... Be happy. Whatever you do, don't give up. And Taichi?"
Wow, I can almost see him trying to force a smile onto his gorgeous face.
"Yeah?"
"Don't ever stop being you."
I don't like this...
"Y-Yama... You're scaring me."
And now he sighs. Yep.
"Gomen..."
Ugh. I hate uncomfortable silences!
"Don't forget me, Taichi."
Barely a whisper. Kami-sama, he sounds like he's crying again.
-Click-
"Yama-?"
Beep, beep, beep, beep...
Shimatta! Too late, he's already hung up. KUSO! I don't like the way he was talking. And knowing Yamato... Oh Gods... Oh Gods. Oh Gods. Yamato! He's going to do something stupid... He's going to...! Oh Gods! Shimatta! Get your ass over there, FAST!
"Mom, I'm going out!"
No time to wait for an answer, baka, get over to Ishida-san's! Run, breathe, run, breathe, run... Baka, forget the people looking at you, who cares what they think! Focus on running. Quit worrying, you idiot! Just run. Run, breathe, run...
Bang bang, bangbangbang!
Oh Gods, please, let him be okay.
"Yamato?!"
Answer the God damned door, you yarou! ANSWER!
Bangbangbangbang!
"ISHIDA YAMATO, ANSWER THIS DOOR!"
Calm down Taichi, ca~lm down. Count to three, and if he hasn't answered by then, you can go in. One... Two... Three...!
Bang bang bang! Creeeeak-
"Yamato?"
Oh Gods, silence is not good. Silence is so~ not good, Taichi! Hey... Hey! Chill out, maybe he's just gone out...
"Yama?"
Just look around. Shh~ It's fine, Tai. Yama's going to be just fine. Ju~st fi~ne...
"Oh Gods, Oh Gods, Oh Gods..."
There's a knife missing. A KNIFE IS MISSING, DAMMIT! Maybe it's just dirty, maybe it's in the dishwasher or something... I'll check. No. Just look for Yamato. LOOK!
"Yama~?!"
Okay, don't panic... Don't panic! His bedroom door is closed... Maybe he's just asleep? But, it usually takes Yamato a while to get to sleep... It's only been, maybe, ten minutes since he hung up on me.
Knock, knock.
"Yamato?"
Nothing. No, wait! What was that?! A groan. A Yamato groan!
"Yamato?!"
Open the door. Open the God damned door, Taichi. That's it. Turn the handle. Slowly. Good.
"Yama-?!"
Oh, FUCK.
"FUCK!"
Yamato, how the fuck could you do this? How could you? How could you even think about it? Oh, Gods!
"Yamato? Yama? Are you okay? Can you hear me? Yamato?! Open your eyes, dammit!"
So much... So much damn blood. I know where the missing knife is. Right there. Don't touch it, Taichi. Don't touch it. Fight the urge to be sick. Don't cry. Go... Go call an ambulance! Yeah! Go! Quick! Run...
Ring, ring... Ring, ring...
Oh Gods, Yamato, you better be okay...
~Two Minutes Later~
Gods, Yama...
"T-Tai?"
Sh, Taichi, don't cry. Don't let him see you cry. Be strong. Just hold him.
"W-Why, Yama? Why did you do it? Why?"
Oh Gods, Taichi, don't cry!
"T-Tai... I'm... I'm s-sorry..."
Careful, Taichi, don't squeeze him too tight.
"Gods, Yama, please... Please, no... Please, Yama, don't leave me. Don't leave me, Yama!"
Gods, look at him. Even this close to death he still looks brilliant. And he's smiling. He has a gorgeous smile. That smile always makes me melt. Right now, though, that smile just makes me cry even harder.
"S-Sorry, my T-Tai-chan... I'm s-s-sorry... I-I love you, Tai-chan..."
Oh Gods... No... Yama... Yamato? No, don't stop breathing... Please... Gods, no... NO~!
"Yama?"
No... Gods, no... Yama...
"Please, Yama... Please, don't leave me here..."
Goodbye, my angelic Yamato.
"I love you, too."
Ring, ring... Ring, ring... Ring, ring...
Maybe I should just hang up? But, what if you're home, and I hang up just as you pick up? I know that really pisses you off sometimes. And other times it just makes you really paranoid. I know you, Yamato. Or, at least, I did.
-Click-
'Hi!'
"Hello?"
'We're not in right now -'
Oh... Of course not. You wouldn't be... Why would you be sitting around at home? You wouldn't be. Because, unlike me, you have a life. One that I used to be a part of... What happened, Yama? Wasn't I supposed to be your best friend?
'- So if you want, leave a message!'
Sure, why not? You like to get messages, it reassures you that people can still be bothered to call and see how you're doing... The thought of them not having a life gives you pleasure. You smirk at the thought...You never return calls, though... So what's the point of an answering machine? Yeah... Why should I leave a message? I mean, it's such a waste of my time considering I won't hear back from you anyway... You know what?
Beeeeeeeeeep!
What should I say? Anything? Maybe I should just hang up. No, that'd piss you off too... Well, you know what? I'm pissed off, Yamato. And you know what else?
"Fuck you, Yamato."
-Click-
Oh. My. Kami-sama. Taichi! How could you do that? Why did you do that? You baka. He'll recognize your voice. He always could. He'll criticize himself for not calling you in so long. He'll feel guilty. And then he'll get mad. Yea, that's just how Yamato is. He'll probably call you. Or maybe he'll just turn up at your house and punch you in the face. Yama was always blunt. Well, not as blunt as you, eh, Taichi? But your bluntness was really just ignorance, eh? Ah, quit being so down on yourself, you're starting to remind me of Yamato. Shimatta! Every-fucking-thing reminds me of Yamato. It's no use. What a jerk he is, with his fame and arrogance and stupidness. All his self- righteousness and his startlingly blue eyes, golden locks and silk-soft pale skin...
Ring, ring...
Gods, I miss you, my Yama-kun.
Ring, ring...
I guess I should answer the phone, eh? C'mon Taichi, just pick up the receiver. Oh, really now, Taichi-baka, it's not going to be Yamato!
Ring-
"Hello?"
"Well, hello, Taichi."
Oh Gods. Oh Gods. Oh Gods. Kuso!
"Y-Yamato? Hi, how are you?"
Keep cool, Tai. Just keep cool. Look on the bright side, at least he didn't decide to show up and smack you, eh?
"What's with the message you left on my machine, Taichi?"
Kuso! Bakabakabaka! He didn't answer the phone because he's hungover. For Gods sake, Taichi, it's only 11am. He's probably got one hell of a headache. Oh Gods! And you're supposed to be his best friend, Taichi. You know? The person who sticks by him through everything? You yarou!
"U-Uh... Well, Yamato..."
And here it comes, his big hissy fit about how you're supposed to be his best friend and all. You know him so well, don't you, Taichi?
"'Fuck you, Yamato'?! How the hell could you say that, Taichi? I know I haven't called you in a week or two, maybe, but you of all people should understand how hard it is to make phonecalls when you're doing gigs all the fucking time! I'm a busy person, dammit, and you're supposed to understand that, Taichi. You're supposed to be my friend. Or maybe I was just mistaken, ne Yagami-san?"
Kuso. He's fuming. He wants to bitch? Fine. I can bitch too.
"Well maybe, just maybe, Yamato, if you cut down on the partying you wouldn't be so hungover all the damn time. Did that ever occur to you? If you didn't party so much you'd have time to call your friends. You know, friends? Your real friends? Not just the idiots who party with you. The same idiots that give you all that crap. Those drugs are bad for you, Yamato, and all you're doing by taking them is worrying the crap outta all of your real friends. The people who care about you! Doesn't that mean anything to you? Do you even give a fucking damn?! You scare the people who love you, and just for a cheap thrill. A good trip. You don't care if Tekaru loves you? Or your dad, or mom? What about me, Yamato? Kisama! What about me?!"
Shimatta. I hate crying. You hate crying. You're crying, Taichi. And maybe now Yamato will know just how much he's hurting you...
"Tai... I..."
Oh no! He's crying, now. Look what you did, Taichi. Brilliant. He's trying not to show that he's crying though, of course. Typically Yamato. But he can't hide those sniffles completely. Oh, and his voice sounds miserable. My poor, poor Yama.
"Gomen, Yamato, gomen. I didn't mean to yell like that..."
You didn't? I thought you were mad at him? And now you're... You're sorry?! Baka.
"No... Tai, you have every right to yell at me. I know what kind of a horrible person I am... I'm sorry, Taichi."
Horrible person? No, Yamato. No~. You're not horrible. You're angelic. You're perfect. You're beautiful. Anything but horrible, my Yamato, anything!
"You're not a horrible person, Yamato. Hell, if you were do you think I'd be bothering with you?"
Now, fake a laugh. Good, Taichi. Very good. You're getting good at acting fine, aren't'cha? Yep. Good.
"Hah. I don't know anymore, Tai..."
You don't know what?
"What are you talking about?"
"N-Nothing... Forget it."
Su~re it's nothing. I'll drop it, for now...
"Okay,"
Yea, 'Okay,' Hah.
"Hey, Taichi?"
"Yeah, Yama?"
Bakabakabaka! He'll notice you called him 'Yama'!
"Be happy, okay, Tai?"
Be happy? Uh... sure... At least he didn't notice I called him 'Yama', right?
"What do you mean 'Be happy'? What are you talking about?"
Damn, that blond is so confusing sometimes!
"Just... Be happy. Whatever you do, don't give up. And Taichi?"
Wow, I can almost see him trying to force a smile onto his gorgeous face.
"Yeah?"
"Don't ever stop being you."
I don't like this...
"Y-Yama... You're scaring me."
And now he sighs. Yep.
"Gomen..."
Ugh. I hate uncomfortable silences!
"Don't forget me, Taichi."
Barely a whisper. Kami-sama, he sounds like he's crying again.
-Click-
"Yama-?"
Beep, beep, beep, beep...
Shimatta! Too late, he's already hung up. KUSO! I don't like the way he was talking. And knowing Yamato... Oh Gods... Oh Gods. Oh Gods. Yamato! He's going to do something stupid... He's going to...! Oh Gods! Shimatta! Get your ass over there, FAST!
"Mom, I'm going out!"
No time to wait for an answer, baka, get over to Ishida-san's! Run, breathe, run, breathe, run... Baka, forget the people looking at you, who cares what they think! Focus on running. Quit worrying, you idiot! Just run. Run, breathe, run...
Bang bang, bangbangbang!
Oh Gods, please, let him be okay.
"Yamato?!"
Answer the God damned door, you yarou! ANSWER!
Bangbangbangbang!
"ISHIDA YAMATO, ANSWER THIS DOOR!"
Calm down Taichi, ca~lm down. Count to three, and if he hasn't answered by then, you can go in. One... Two... Three...!
Bang bang bang! Creeeeak-
"Yamato?"
Oh Gods, silence is not good. Silence is so~ not good, Taichi! Hey... Hey! Chill out, maybe he's just gone out...
"Yama?"
Just look around. Shh~ It's fine, Tai. Yama's going to be just fine. Ju~st fi~ne...
"Oh Gods, Oh Gods, Oh Gods..."
There's a knife missing. A KNIFE IS MISSING, DAMMIT! Maybe it's just dirty, maybe it's in the dishwasher or something... I'll check. No. Just look for Yamato. LOOK!
"Yama~?!"
Okay, don't panic... Don't panic! His bedroom door is closed... Maybe he's just asleep? But, it usually takes Yamato a while to get to sleep... It's only been, maybe, ten minutes since he hung up on me.
Knock, knock.
"Yamato?"
Nothing. No, wait! What was that?! A groan. A Yamato groan!
"Yamato?!"
Open the door. Open the God damned door, Taichi. That's it. Turn the handle. Slowly. Good.
"Yama-?!"
Oh, FUCK.
"FUCK!"
Yamato, how the fuck could you do this? How could you? How could you even think about it? Oh, Gods!
"Yamato? Yama? Are you okay? Can you hear me? Yamato?! Open your eyes, dammit!"
So much... So much damn blood. I know where the missing knife is. Right there. Don't touch it, Taichi. Don't touch it. Fight the urge to be sick. Don't cry. Go... Go call an ambulance! Yeah! Go! Quick! Run...
Ring, ring... Ring, ring...
Oh Gods, Yamato, you better be okay...
~Two Minutes Later~
Gods, Yama...
"T-Tai?"
Sh, Taichi, don't cry. Don't let him see you cry. Be strong. Just hold him.
"W-Why, Yama? Why did you do it? Why?"
Oh Gods, Taichi, don't cry!
"T-Tai... I'm... I'm s-sorry..."
Careful, Taichi, don't squeeze him too tight.
"Gods, Yama, please... Please, no... Please, Yama, don't leave me. Don't leave me, Yama!"
Gods, look at him. Even this close to death he still looks brilliant. And he's smiling. He has a gorgeous smile. That smile always makes me melt. Right now, though, that smile just makes me cry even harder.
"S-Sorry, my T-Tai-chan... I'm s-s-sorry... I-I love you, Tai-chan..."
Oh Gods... No... Yama... Yamato? No, don't stop breathing... Please... Gods, no... NO~!
"Yama?"
No... Gods, no... Yama...
"Please, Yama... Please, don't leave me here..."
Goodbye, my angelic Yamato.
"I love you, too."