A mistake.
This entire … thing had been a mistake. There was no doubt about it. Saitou found that, occasionally, instead of thinking about work – which he should have been doing – he found his thought drifting away. Drifting to places they shouldn't be.
It had seemed so easy before he had actually experience it for what it really was. A mistake. A complicating, horrible, never-should-have-been mistake.
He couldn't take it anymore. Time without was … too much. Saitou hadn't counted on that being the problem it was. Another mistake (or was it another part of the same one?). He couldn't take this absence … but he had to.
Saitou walked into his room, and nearly groaned in despair. There it was. His temptation, his weakness. Deliberately lying there, where there was no way for Saitou to not notice. How could anything look so alluring by doing abosolutly nothing. Saitou barely stifled a moan.
Must.
Resist.
Be strong.
Strong.
Don't.
Give.
Into …
Oh, fuck it!
Saitou all but dove to the desk, and fumbling with the package only a little, managed to extract a cigarette and light it in about .06 seconds flat. He drew in a deep breath, held it and exhaled slowly.
Bliss.
He heard a rustling behind him, but he didn't really care what it was. Dying right now would be perfectly alright with him, thank you very much.
"Mmm. 'Jime." Arms wrapped around him, and a warm body pressed up from behind to accompany the slightly accusing voice. Ah. His other mistake. "You said you'd stop." A soft, spiky brown head laid itself on Saitou's shoulder, its owner more than half-asleep.
"I lied." Saitou took another long drag at the cigarette, and made no move to push his young lover away. He'd been living with this particular mistake for a year, and didn't mind it as much. Although, if the Roosterhead kept nuzzling his neck like that, Saitou didn't think he be able to hold himself accountable for the results.
Further thought was abruptly cancelled as hands far too nimble for the lethargy in the voice snatched the cigarette from his hand and ground the stub out on the desk.
"Sa-no …" Saitou growled. Had there been any reason to do that? At all? No.
"Hush." His lover slid around so that they were chest-to-chest, his arms around Saitou's neck. "You know they're bad for you."
"So is –" Saitou was cut off as his Roosterhead leaned forward just a little bit and put something almost as satisfying in his mouth.
"No more smoking," Sano murmured against Saitou's lips, just barely breaking the kiss. "Just kissing." And then he made good.
It was, Saitou thought as he directed them both to the futon, not such a bad trade after all.
Besides, he could always smoke after sex, when the ahou was asleep.
**********************
I'm just so happy …
Alright, I thought it up, I wrote it, I posted it, and now it ceases to be mine. Kuroyousei, this story belongs to you whether you want it or not. I wash my hands of it. ^_^ (Seriously though. You like?)