"Ok, when are we going to tell Maggie and your parents? It's almost 11."
"Where is Maggie anyway?"
"Umm...I think she's about 20 minutes away from here."
"Ok, that works."
"Who are we telling first?"
"Who wakes up sooner? What time does Maggie wake up?"
"Umm...pretty early I guess."
"Are we going to tell everyone in person or are we going to tell them on the phone?"
"I don't know, how will your parents feel about that? Will they get mad?"
"I don't know. It doesn't matter, they're not in town anyway, I don't think. I was going to call them, but we can tell them when they come back. I'm not even sure where they are now. I think my dad is coming back home on Sunday, and my mom is coming back sometime this week. I don't even know where they each went. Isn't that sad?"
"No, half the time, I don't know where Maggie is. Right now Eric's in a program, thank God, but I hope he stays for once."
"It's strange how things work, the night we got engaged both of my parents aren't around, my grandma's dead, Luka's in Africa, Eric's in a program...let's see, who else is away..."
"All that matters is that we're here."
"That's true."
"But the world does work in weird ways."
"Yup. So, do you think we'll all be ready by 10?"
"All?"
"You, me, Maggie."
"Oh, we'll be up. Even if you're not, I'll wake you up, even if I have to jump on you. As for Maggie, she'll be up. Crazy people don't sleep late."
I can't resist. "So that's why you're always up so early."
"Yup, that's what it is."
"I know, but I love you anyway."
"Besides, normal is vastly overrated."
"Isn't it?"
"...So before work we're only going to tell Maggie?"
"Yeah, I guess. And everyone at work will love that they were some of the firsts to know."
"John, what's wrong?"
I guess the sadness in my mind turned into a frown on my face. Either that, or Abby can read minds. "Nothing really."
"It has to be something, it's the biggest frown I've seen you wear for a while."
"Well, I was just thinking about me grandma... she always told me how she wanted to see me get married..."
"Well I'm sure..."
"...To you."
"Oh...that's not why you did this, is it?"
"Of course not! But I did talk to her about the ring...she helped me pick it for you. I had it last time we went to the restaurant..."
"I know."
"What!?"
"I know."
"How do you know?"
"I saw the ring..."
"How...When..."
"When you were in the other room at my house, I was talking to Maggie and when I picked your jacket up, it fell out. Being me, I opened it and saw this beautiful ring. Why did you have it? Were you going to propose?"
"Yes, actually, I was going to."
"And..."
"And remember when I said 'I think we've really changed in our relationship.', well as I said that, I got the ring from my pocket. I was about to get on my knee and open it but then you said 'I don't think people really ever change but I know what you mean.' and something about that scared me so I put it back in my pocket. I still don't know why it scared me. I guess it's cause I don't really know what you meant be that. And after that, things just seemed to get worse for us, and to tell the truth, I didn't even know if you'd say yes tonight. But I so hoped you would. I just wish my grandma could be here to see this. She wanted me to propose. She liked you, you know."
"When I said I don't think people ever really change, I just meant that you can't just change yourself, you'll always be the same person, no matter what you do. You can start something, you can end something; you can be better, you can be worse but you can never really change. Do you understand? Like with us, our relationship has gotten better and grown, but we haven't really changed, have we? And I know you're grandma knows about us. This way, she's the first to know. She knew it would happen sooner or later. Wow, she must have been a very great person to like ME. You're a lot like her, John. That's good, now she'll always be with us."
I love her optimism, wait, where's the real Abby? Oh well, it's better than her usual attitude...wait, did she say 'with us'? She did, didn't she? She said that she'll always be with US, not me, us. God, she is wonderful...
"John?"
"Huh? Oh yeah. Sorry, you just got me thinking. And it looks like you're getting used to calling me John."
"So I got you thinking...that's something new."
"Not really."
"And yeah, I guess I am getting used to calling you John, John...So what's first?"
"I don't know...I've never planned a wedding before, I haven't even been to one in years, expect for Carol's that is."
"Carol was married?"
"No."
"Then..."
"She almost got married in May 1995 to John Taglieri who everyone called 'Tag'. They had everything planned and everyone was there. Tag asked Carol if she loved him as much as he loved her. She didn't really know and she never heard from him again."
"Oh. I thought she left to be with some guy named Doug."
"She did. He's the father of her twins."
"I know, she told me that."
"Oh."
"John?"
"Yes?"
"Promise you'll never let us plan our whole wedding and leave at the last minute. Promise me that you'll never leave me, please?"
As I sit there on the couch with Abby, staring into her wonderful brown eyes, I realized that just as I had a fear about being with her, she had a fear too, she was afraid to loose me. She didn't want to get too close until she was sure I wasn't going to leave. That's why she never tried to get too close to Maggie, she knew Maggie would always leave. The only person she is really very close to is Eric, and she went through hell when he was gone. She wants to protect and save him, and now she needs me to save her. "Abby, I promise I will never leave you like Tag did to Carol. I saw how heartbroken Carol was and I could never do that to you. Plus, at this point, I might die without you. I love you and I'll never leave you, I promise."
"Thank you John."
"For what?"
"For caring, for showing your feelings, for helping me, for being there, for being with me, and for just loving me. Thank you so much."
"Everyone needs someone to help them through things, you're only human. You're not superwoman either. You try to be though. You do too much. And when your power finally runs out, I'll be here for you, to lift you back up."
"God John, how'd you become so sweet?"
"I don't know. I just say what I feel when I'm around you."
"Again, another sweet line."
"They are not lines, the are things I say that come from the heart."
"I didn't mean it like that."
"Good, and don't ever think that. Ok?"
"Is that an order?"
"Yeah, it is."
"Ok, I can deal with that, as long as it's the only one."
"It is."
"Where is Maggie anyway?"
"Umm...I think she's about 20 minutes away from here."
"Ok, that works."
"Who are we telling first?"
"Who wakes up sooner? What time does Maggie wake up?"
"Umm...pretty early I guess."
"Are we going to tell everyone in person or are we going to tell them on the phone?"
"I don't know, how will your parents feel about that? Will they get mad?"
"I don't know. It doesn't matter, they're not in town anyway, I don't think. I was going to call them, but we can tell them when they come back. I'm not even sure where they are now. I think my dad is coming back home on Sunday, and my mom is coming back sometime this week. I don't even know where they each went. Isn't that sad?"
"No, half the time, I don't know where Maggie is. Right now Eric's in a program, thank God, but I hope he stays for once."
"It's strange how things work, the night we got engaged both of my parents aren't around, my grandma's dead, Luka's in Africa, Eric's in a program...let's see, who else is away..."
"All that matters is that we're here."
"That's true."
"But the world does work in weird ways."
"Yup. So, do you think we'll all be ready by 10?"
"All?"
"You, me, Maggie."
"Oh, we'll be up. Even if you're not, I'll wake you up, even if I have to jump on you. As for Maggie, she'll be up. Crazy people don't sleep late."
I can't resist. "So that's why you're always up so early."
"Yup, that's what it is."
"I know, but I love you anyway."
"Besides, normal is vastly overrated."
"Isn't it?"
"...So before work we're only going to tell Maggie?"
"Yeah, I guess. And everyone at work will love that they were some of the firsts to know."
"John, what's wrong?"
I guess the sadness in my mind turned into a frown on my face. Either that, or Abby can read minds. "Nothing really."
"It has to be something, it's the biggest frown I've seen you wear for a while."
"Well, I was just thinking about me grandma... she always told me how she wanted to see me get married..."
"Well I'm sure..."
"...To you."
"Oh...that's not why you did this, is it?"
"Of course not! But I did talk to her about the ring...she helped me pick it for you. I had it last time we went to the restaurant..."
"I know."
"What!?"
"I know."
"How do you know?"
"I saw the ring..."
"How...When..."
"When you were in the other room at my house, I was talking to Maggie and when I picked your jacket up, it fell out. Being me, I opened it and saw this beautiful ring. Why did you have it? Were you going to propose?"
"Yes, actually, I was going to."
"And..."
"And remember when I said 'I think we've really changed in our relationship.', well as I said that, I got the ring from my pocket. I was about to get on my knee and open it but then you said 'I don't think people really ever change but I know what you mean.' and something about that scared me so I put it back in my pocket. I still don't know why it scared me. I guess it's cause I don't really know what you meant be that. And after that, things just seemed to get worse for us, and to tell the truth, I didn't even know if you'd say yes tonight. But I so hoped you would. I just wish my grandma could be here to see this. She wanted me to propose. She liked you, you know."
"When I said I don't think people ever really change, I just meant that you can't just change yourself, you'll always be the same person, no matter what you do. You can start something, you can end something; you can be better, you can be worse but you can never really change. Do you understand? Like with us, our relationship has gotten better and grown, but we haven't really changed, have we? And I know you're grandma knows about us. This way, she's the first to know. She knew it would happen sooner or later. Wow, she must have been a very great person to like ME. You're a lot like her, John. That's good, now she'll always be with us."
I love her optimism, wait, where's the real Abby? Oh well, it's better than her usual attitude...wait, did she say 'with us'? She did, didn't she? She said that she'll always be with US, not me, us. God, she is wonderful...
"John?"
"Huh? Oh yeah. Sorry, you just got me thinking. And it looks like you're getting used to calling me John."
"So I got you thinking...that's something new."
"Not really."
"And yeah, I guess I am getting used to calling you John, John...So what's first?"
"I don't know...I've never planned a wedding before, I haven't even been to one in years, expect for Carol's that is."
"Carol was married?"
"No."
"Then..."
"She almost got married in May 1995 to John Taglieri who everyone called 'Tag'. They had everything planned and everyone was there. Tag asked Carol if she loved him as much as he loved her. She didn't really know and she never heard from him again."
"Oh. I thought she left to be with some guy named Doug."
"She did. He's the father of her twins."
"I know, she told me that."
"Oh."
"John?"
"Yes?"
"Promise you'll never let us plan our whole wedding and leave at the last minute. Promise me that you'll never leave me, please?"
As I sit there on the couch with Abby, staring into her wonderful brown eyes, I realized that just as I had a fear about being with her, she had a fear too, she was afraid to loose me. She didn't want to get too close until she was sure I wasn't going to leave. That's why she never tried to get too close to Maggie, she knew Maggie would always leave. The only person she is really very close to is Eric, and she went through hell when he was gone. She wants to protect and save him, and now she needs me to save her. "Abby, I promise I will never leave you like Tag did to Carol. I saw how heartbroken Carol was and I could never do that to you. Plus, at this point, I might die without you. I love you and I'll never leave you, I promise."
"Thank you John."
"For what?"
"For caring, for showing your feelings, for helping me, for being there, for being with me, and for just loving me. Thank you so much."
"Everyone needs someone to help them through things, you're only human. You're not superwoman either. You try to be though. You do too much. And when your power finally runs out, I'll be here for you, to lift you back up."
"God John, how'd you become so sweet?"
"I don't know. I just say what I feel when I'm around you."
"Again, another sweet line."
"They are not lines, the are things I say that come from the heart."
"I didn't mean it like that."
"Good, and don't ever think that. Ok?"
"Is that an order?"
"Yeah, it is."
"Ok, I can deal with that, as long as it's the only one."
"It is."