E.H.L: Well, I see that your terms are quite generous. And if all you require is an island with some slaves to amuse yourself with, that is fine. I might also consider letting the Evil Author in on this bargain, if she is as co-operative as yourself.
EXpresident Clinton: Now wait a minute. What makes you think that you can bargain us off like lollipops at an auction?
E.H.L: -_- First off, it is because of stupid analigies such as that, that I know I may bargain you off to people as I please. And second, is because I am the most powerful being placed here on the Earth. Does that answer your question, dimwit?
Clinton: Yes. Thank you.
E.H.L: Good. *to Author* Anyway, there were some questions I had for you, concerning your "subjects". Basically which particular idiot you may want to own. I know you have said that you wish to keep that.....Orlando Bloom. And that is fine by me. My head shall not feel like it would burst with rage and my eyes flee with terror, if he were to be in your....how should I put it?....Care? But I would like to know what other beings you would ask fo-
Clinton: Hey, uh, what about me?
E.H.L: WHAT ABOUT YOU?!?!
Clinton: Where am *I*going to go? I should be a ruler of some land, since I have my past experience with the United States.
E.H.L: Ah yes. You shall have a VERY important and special job. One which will require your expert skills.
Clinton: *claps hands and jumps for joy* OH YAY! What is it?
E.H.L: You shall be the master toilet cleaner.
Clinton: *dissapointed* Oh.
E.H.L: NOW OUT OF MY SIGHT!! BEFORE I SMITE YOU!!! @_@
Clinton: *cries and runs away*
E.H.L: You may have him if you wish. -_- Although I would think you to be much too intelligent to waste space on your island with the likes of him. ANYWAY. So you wish for Orlando Bloom?....(for that creature you call "Tanya", I would suppose.) And who else? It seems to me that you have an interest in the Lord of the Rings. And I would not mind lending, or even giving you all the actors and actresses from that....movie. I cannot say that I am much too picky when it comes to my slaves. Just as long as they do their jobs. And as long as they cry. Hehehe.
Mel Gibson: -_- EXCUSE ME. But, you haven't even taken over the world yet! WHAT THE HECK MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN MAKE PLANS NOW?!?!?!! I mean, there's all the armies that you must destroy, and throw people out of power....I'm no expert on taking over the world, but I think those things JUST MIGHT MATTER!!!
E.H.L: Ah, yes. And now I see that the idiot has spoken. And it seems that he wishes for me to enlighten him. I would happily do so, if it would have any lasting affect. But alas, he would not comprehend it. It is much too intellectual for him. But, I feel that I must try to anyway.
Mel: -_- WOULD YOU JUST GO ON WITH IT?!
E.H.L: *wipes Mel's spit off of her face* You see, nimrod. I have the power to cause ANYONE'S hair to grow at ANY length at ANY time. So, if I were to be faced by an army, (And I hope that the leaders of the countries of this world would have enough intelligence to see my power, and not force me to use it...)I would only have to cause their hair to grow to amazing lengths, thus rendering the army...useless. I think you would have seen that before. But, I'm afraid ignorance runs deep through the human race. And it saddens me. Perhaps when the world is mine, I shall give you creatures a second chance....Or not.....MUHAHAHAaaaa! DO YOU FEAR ME NOW?! MORTAL!
Mel: @_@ YES! I FEAR THAT YOUR STUPIDITY HAS NO BOUNDS!!! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!
E.H.L: *_* YOU!!!! FOOLISH IDIOTIC MORON!!!!!! DEATH TO YOU!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
*Mel Gibson's hair begins to grow and chokes him*
E.H.L: *regaining her control* ANYONE ELSE?!?!?!?!
*all the celebrities shrink back in fear. All except one.*
Regis: *with his huge smile* I HAVE AN IDEA! WHY DON'T WE TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH YOU!!! THAT WAY EVERYONE IS HAPPY!!! AND I COULD HAVE MY OWN ISLAND!!!!! YEAH!
E.H.L: -_- Is this what you mindless drones call "negotiating"? *sigh* I've about had it with you people. If I may even call you people....- * Suddenly E.H.L's eyes get really big and her face and voice are now filled with fear. (if she is capable of fear)* You wish to come? Now?! Yes master. You shall. *she kneels* I await your command.
The celebrities: O_o
*at that moment a sillouhette of a tall and graceful figure begins to form in front of the Evil Hairy Lady. It is Niniel. (THE ELF, lol) Her very being is pride and beauty itself. Though a deep and dark sadness is about her. None dare to look at her, save E.H.L*
Niniel: *In a deep and beautiful Galadriel voice* O, Evil Hairy Lady. What is this "bargain" that you speak of? I am sure that you intend to surrender to me full power of the Earth. *she gives E.H.L a meaningful glance*
E.H.L: *still kneeling* Yes, master. Your will is my command. The Earth is yours, as soon as the wish comes from thy lips.
Niniel: *smirks* You have done well, O faithful one. But tell me, who is this "Author"? Indeed, I would wish to speak with her about the rulings of this world.
E.H.L: Of course, M'lady! She is to be our ally. You may speak to her at any time. For our conversation is recorded, and sent to her. So if you wish to ask something of her, she shall know of it.
Niniel: I see. *turns to face the Author* You call yourself the Author. And indeed, I see why. For my loyal subject *motions to E.H.L* has shown me your stories. And they are well written, for one such as you. She tells me now that you mean good will towards us. And I should hope so. But I am aware that one that you call "Beth" has spoken against me. I see that this is not your fault, nor responsibility. Since creatures as low as she, may be unpredictable and very stupid. Indeed, I have one myself. She is a nasty creature. I only ask you now, to vow to obey my commands. Though few they shall be, for the Evil Hairy Lady is my servant. But I do not wish for you to *try* and overthrow me. That is all I ask. And if you do not agree to this, I shall smite the creature Orlando Bloom. And I understand that an action such as that would cause you many problems with your other.....what shall we call them....room mates? *she laughs deeply and elegantly* But we shall see. You seem to be a creature of some intelligence. And you shall prove yourself to be, or not in your answer.
EXpresident Clinton: Now wait a minute. What makes you think that you can bargain us off like lollipops at an auction?
E.H.L: -_- First off, it is because of stupid analigies such as that, that I know I may bargain you off to people as I please. And second, is because I am the most powerful being placed here on the Earth. Does that answer your question, dimwit?
Clinton: Yes. Thank you.
E.H.L: Good. *to Author* Anyway, there were some questions I had for you, concerning your "subjects". Basically which particular idiot you may want to own. I know you have said that you wish to keep that.....Orlando Bloom. And that is fine by me. My head shall not feel like it would burst with rage and my eyes flee with terror, if he were to be in your....how should I put it?....Care? But I would like to know what other beings you would ask fo-
Clinton: Hey, uh, what about me?
E.H.L: WHAT ABOUT YOU?!?!
Clinton: Where am *I*going to go? I should be a ruler of some land, since I have my past experience with the United States.
E.H.L: Ah yes. You shall have a VERY important and special job. One which will require your expert skills.
Clinton: *claps hands and jumps for joy* OH YAY! What is it?
E.H.L: You shall be the master toilet cleaner.
Clinton: *dissapointed* Oh.
E.H.L: NOW OUT OF MY SIGHT!! BEFORE I SMITE YOU!!! @_@
Clinton: *cries and runs away*
E.H.L: You may have him if you wish. -_- Although I would think you to be much too intelligent to waste space on your island with the likes of him. ANYWAY. So you wish for Orlando Bloom?....(for that creature you call "Tanya", I would suppose.) And who else? It seems to me that you have an interest in the Lord of the Rings. And I would not mind lending, or even giving you all the actors and actresses from that....movie. I cannot say that I am much too picky when it comes to my slaves. Just as long as they do their jobs. And as long as they cry. Hehehe.
Mel Gibson: -_- EXCUSE ME. But, you haven't even taken over the world yet! WHAT THE HECK MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN MAKE PLANS NOW?!?!?!! I mean, there's all the armies that you must destroy, and throw people out of power....I'm no expert on taking over the world, but I think those things JUST MIGHT MATTER!!!
E.H.L: Ah, yes. And now I see that the idiot has spoken. And it seems that he wishes for me to enlighten him. I would happily do so, if it would have any lasting affect. But alas, he would not comprehend it. It is much too intellectual for him. But, I feel that I must try to anyway.
Mel: -_- WOULD YOU JUST GO ON WITH IT?!
E.H.L: *wipes Mel's spit off of her face* You see, nimrod. I have the power to cause ANYONE'S hair to grow at ANY length at ANY time. So, if I were to be faced by an army, (And I hope that the leaders of the countries of this world would have enough intelligence to see my power, and not force me to use it...)I would only have to cause their hair to grow to amazing lengths, thus rendering the army...useless. I think you would have seen that before. But, I'm afraid ignorance runs deep through the human race. And it saddens me. Perhaps when the world is mine, I shall give you creatures a second chance....Or not.....MUHAHAHAaaaa! DO YOU FEAR ME NOW?! MORTAL!
Mel: @_@ YES! I FEAR THAT YOUR STUPIDITY HAS NO BOUNDS!!! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!
E.H.L: *_* YOU!!!! FOOLISH IDIOTIC MORON!!!!!! DEATH TO YOU!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
*Mel Gibson's hair begins to grow and chokes him*
E.H.L: *regaining her control* ANYONE ELSE?!?!?!?!
*all the celebrities shrink back in fear. All except one.*
Regis: *with his huge smile* I HAVE AN IDEA! WHY DON'T WE TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH YOU!!! THAT WAY EVERYONE IS HAPPY!!! AND I COULD HAVE MY OWN ISLAND!!!!! YEAH!
E.H.L: -_- Is this what you mindless drones call "negotiating"? *sigh* I've about had it with you people. If I may even call you people....- * Suddenly E.H.L's eyes get really big and her face and voice are now filled with fear. (if she is capable of fear)* You wish to come? Now?! Yes master. You shall. *she kneels* I await your command.
The celebrities: O_o
*at that moment a sillouhette of a tall and graceful figure begins to form in front of the Evil Hairy Lady. It is Niniel. (THE ELF, lol) Her very being is pride and beauty itself. Though a deep and dark sadness is about her. None dare to look at her, save E.H.L*
Niniel: *In a deep and beautiful Galadriel voice* O, Evil Hairy Lady. What is this "bargain" that you speak of? I am sure that you intend to surrender to me full power of the Earth. *she gives E.H.L a meaningful glance*
E.H.L: *still kneeling* Yes, master. Your will is my command. The Earth is yours, as soon as the wish comes from thy lips.
Niniel: *smirks* You have done well, O faithful one. But tell me, who is this "Author"? Indeed, I would wish to speak with her about the rulings of this world.
E.H.L: Of course, M'lady! She is to be our ally. You may speak to her at any time. For our conversation is recorded, and sent to her. So if you wish to ask something of her, she shall know of it.
Niniel: I see. *turns to face the Author* You call yourself the Author. And indeed, I see why. For my loyal subject *motions to E.H.L* has shown me your stories. And they are well written, for one such as you. She tells me now that you mean good will towards us. And I should hope so. But I am aware that one that you call "Beth" has spoken against me. I see that this is not your fault, nor responsibility. Since creatures as low as she, may be unpredictable and very stupid. Indeed, I have one myself. She is a nasty creature. I only ask you now, to vow to obey my commands. Though few they shall be, for the Evil Hairy Lady is my servant. But I do not wish for you to *try* and overthrow me. That is all I ask. And if you do not agree to this, I shall smite the creature Orlando Bloom. And I understand that an action such as that would cause you many problems with your other.....what shall we call them....room mates? *she laughs deeply and elegantly* But we shall see. You seem to be a creature of some intelligence. And you shall prove yourself to be, or not in your answer.