IV:

Rafael Barba couldn't have told you when the last time he'd had a day when everything went to plan. So when his deposition was postponed and two other motions were moved up, he found himself both scrambling and at a loose end. Thank god for his assistant or he would have been sunk. Upon running back into his office for the notes for the second motion, she was raising a brow at him. "You have a five o'clock with Jack McCoy," Carmen said.

"Carmen, I'm not sure how you pulled that off, but –"

"I don't know why you wanted me to make that call in the first place," she said. "And a seven o'clock reservation for two at Coppelia." The latter was said without judgement.

"Thank you," he said sincerely, glancing over the brief. "Are you pissed at me?"

"Only if you plan on hitching over to Manhattan and not taking me with," Carmen said. "You done with Kings County, boss?"

He cracked a little smile. "You sassing me?"

"I'm just saying, I know where your particular bodies are buried," she replied pointedly.

He closed the folder and said, "I'm exploring options. You'll be the first to know if I decide my services need a change of venue, Carmen."

"And about this person you're seeing tonight – they'd better not be related in any way to the theatre," she warned. "Not after the PR trouble we went through the last time."

He rolled his eyes. "Relax. She's a cop. If I step out of line, she'll just shoot me."

Carmen gave him an odd look. "She?"

Rafael raised a brow. "What, you actually listened to the gossip around the water cooler? I thought you were better than that." He grabbed a handful of pretzels from the bowl on her desk and headed back out the door, hoping that would be enough to keep him going till he could get a proper snack on the way into the city.

"Sorry I'm running a little late," Olivia apologized as she settled into her seat across from him, her cheeks a little flushed from hustling down the sidewalk. "We had a disclosure and it was a toss-up whether my partner and I would handle it or Fin and Rollins… but they took it because Nick and I were already supposed to be gone and – you don't need to know any of this, do you? Hi. Sorry."

Rafael smiled at her over his beer as he took another sip. "It's all good," he said. "I didn't know if you'd want something to drink besides water, so –"

She nodded and said, "I think I'll stick with water tonight. They might call me back in later."

"Is SVU that needy?"

She looked up from her menu and gave him a withering look. "I just took my Sergeant's exam," she said with a withering condescension that made him shrink a little. "So I might as well be second in command at this point. They call, I run. I don't exactly have a choice." She paused. "Is that a dealbreaker, Mr. Barba?"

He paused, took another sip of beer. "Nope," he said, popping the 'p' with great emphasis. "So long as my mami isn't a dealbreaker for you."

"You talk about her like she's Satan incarnate," Liv said with concern.

"Not exactly… she's just very heavy-handed with her ideas of what things should be like and god forbid you not live up to those ideals," he warned. "Also, everything here is good."

She quirked a smile. He wanted to tell her that she was beautiful, but was afraid to scare her off already, so he settled back in his seat and decided instead that he was going to have arroz con pollo with a side of brussel sprouts. "Been here often?" Olivia teased.

"I'm Cuban," Rafael shot back with a smirk. "My abuelita would be horrified if I didn't take a perfectly nice woman out for tres leches cake after she treated me to pie."

Olivia laughed and said, "I refute 'perfectly nice'. But cake sounds great." She smiled over at him and added, "Just so you know, I'm pretty sure everyone thinks you're gay."

"Yeah," he acknowledged. "I'm finding that out."

"Well, I mean, you keep telling people about Tony, the hot yoga instructor you're hooking up with in your building," she reminded him. "What do you expect?" The waitress came over and Liv smiled widely. "Waffles con chocolate, please," she said in a sweet tone. "And two eggs, over medium. Just water to drink."

"Another," Rafael said, lifting up his beer bottle delicately, "but then a glass of ice water. Arroz con pollo and brussel sprouts, please. And for dessert, we'll share a tres leches cake."

"Presumptuous that I'll want to share," Liv said as soon as the waitress had left.

He cocked his head and replied, "You're having chocolate waffles."

She rolled her eyes. "So I told you about my day –"

"Ah, yeah… my deposition was postponed this morning," he said, "and two of my motions were moved forward. So it was a bit of a hit and run situation. My assistant had to call in the reservation for tonight which is how I found out that apparently everyone thinks I'm completely gay – because she gave me the funniest look when I mentioned I would be out with a woman."

Olivia stifled a laugh. "One of my former coworkers dropped by for lunch yesterday and when I mentioned going out he got very concerned and asked if I'd properly vetted you… then mentioned he thought you were gay when I gave enough clues for him to suss out your identity."

"Well, that's not at all encouraging," he said. "My ego is definitely taking a beating here." His hand was splayed out over his chest in mock horror. "I mean, honestly… the last time I took a woman out was probably 2004, though, so I had it coming."

"You were just a baby," she teased.

"Oh, I was," he agreed. "But anyway – and I had a meeting in the city this evening before I met you here, so my day was pretty hectic. But not entirely unproductive."

"I feel that." She tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled at him. "We're in the process of digitizing the archives, and finally getting to a point where we'll be starting to do a running backup of all incoming paperwork in digital format as well as paper copy, so it's my job to remind everyone that chicken scratches are best left at the hospital." She made a face. "Unfortunately, there's been some kickback."

Rafael chuckled and finished his beer. "Can't imagine why."

"I bet you have perfect penmanship."

"You would lose that bet."

"That was sarcasm."

"It's still a sucker's bet," he said with a grin. The waitress chose that moment to bring their drinks so he made sure she took his empty bottle with her. "So… speaking of sucker's bets: we don't know each other very well. Or, at all, really. So I bet you a second date that I can guess three random things about you that are correct."

"Isn't this technically our second date?" she asked, arching a brow.

"Coffee and pie was a meeting. It doesn't count," he denied. "Bet?"

"Counterbet," she interjected.

"Oh, this should be good," he said.

"A date of my choosing if I can deduce three things about you while we're sitting here talking," she said.

"How can either of us lose?" he teased softly, leaning forward to grab his beer before taking a quick swig. "You're on, Benson. Maybe we should sweeten the pot a little – add in a piece of flan."

"You aren't shy about liking food," she said, holding up an index finger and smirking.

He raised an eyebrow and raised a finger in reply. "You are very smug when you think you're going to win."

"You don't like people making assumptions about you, but you're very quick to hide behind those assumptions and use them to your advantage," she said, raising another finger.

He frowned for a moment, then lifted two fingers. "You were at a murder scene this morning. And you had tomato soup at lunch." He indicated the faint hint of stain that was still crusted on her black shirt. "Doesn't matter how many times you shower, you can't quite wash out the smell," he said. "I've been working with homicide too long."

She hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah… sorry."

"No, it's fine. What else were you going to say about me?" he asked.

"No, you won fair and square," Olivia said. "So… what then are we doing on our next date, Counsellor? I'm sure you have some kind of big plans rolling around your head –"

He laughed. "Hell no – I'm winging it here. I never thought in a million years you would actually say yes, let alone actually show up and play along."

She smiled at him across the table. "Why?"

"Women like you don't date men like me, even for fun," he responded, gesturing at himself with a grimace.

"Women like me? What do you mean?" she asked softly.

"You're beautiful. Driven. Fierce. A fighter. You've burned the world to the ground. You don't need me – or anyone." He took a deep breath, took a drink, picked at the label on the beer bottle. "That kind of strength… I mean…"

"You think I'm intimidating?" Olivia asked.

"No," he answered without hesitation.

"Really?" she asked doubtfully. "How do you see yourself, Rafael?"

He laughed, snorted a little, took another drink. "You my shrink now?" Rafael asked with a smirk. When she just quirked a brow at him, he sighed and said, "I eat too much, I drink too much, I fuck men because I'm tired of listening to my ma and abuelita tell me that I'm not going to heaven because I didn't marry just out of high school and have a bunch of chubby babies for them to spoil, I dress well because it's the only way I fit in. I spent too much money on my education and neglected to learn how to act like a person." He hesitated a long moment, then added, "I've wanted to kiss you since you came into the restaurant but I didn't dare."

She jerked her head to look at him. The waitress brought out their food and laid it down. "Anything else?" she inquired.

"We'd like a piece of flan when you bring out the tres leches," Rafael said. "Please. And can I have that glass of water now?" He looked over at Liv as the waitress left and said, "Forget that I said anything, okay? I didn't mean to make this any worse than it had to be for you."

"Rafael…" Liv began.

"No, I shouldn't have said it," he said firmly.

"Stop," she said, reaching over to touch his hand and still his movement, to get his attention. He looked up into her eyes and she smiled just a little. "Just because I've had to be strong doesn't mean I've wanted to be that way. All those other things you said I am… I've had to learn to be that way just to survive. Except beautiful. I'm not. I might have been once, but he took that from me." Her lips pressed together into a thin line and her hand shook against his.

Rafael turned his hand over and grasped hers tightly, surprising her. "Don't whisper lies into the air thinking they won't become truths," he pleaded, an echo of something Rita had spoken to him so long ago at Harvard. "You are beautiful, so beautiful," he insisted. "Let me be the one to show you how wrong you are. Please."

"And when you decide you're tired of me?" she shot back. "When you move on to your next boyfriend because this is too complicated and too fucking real? I get it, Barba. You like your girls brainless until they annoy you and then you like an uncomplicated man who doesn't get in the way of your ambition. I'm not that."

"No, you certainly are not," he agreed. "You're Everest." And he wasn't going to admit that this was the first time since high school that he'd actually cared. The flash of emotion was genuinely disconcerting. Not to say he didn't care about Rita, no, but this was… this was like his root chakra was getting yanked out of his body and shaken up before thrust back into him at an odd angle. Oh boy.

"Are you using my words against me?" she shot back.

"Damn right I am, Detective," he said, nodding. He squeezed her hand, grounding her. When she seemed to calm down just a little bit more, he rose from his chair and leaned over the table, catching her attention by cupping her jaw and some of her hair, tilting her head slightly so he could kiss her. It was the gentlest of kisses, simple and almost chaste, but full of intention. And when he released her and settled back into his seat, he simply said, "Eat up: food's getting cold." As if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to have just given her that kiss.

They ate mostly in silence until she finally said, "We'll probably have to postpone that date."

"Because…?"

"I'm having surgery next week," she said. "Definitely won't be up to getting out and doing anything for a while afterward. And you're not going to want to hang around with me being grumpy."

"What kind of surgery?" he asked cautiously.

Olivia sighed heavily. "They're removing one of my kidneys. It's dead and effectively trying to poison the rest of me instead of doing the decent thing and shriveling up and dying. Whatever cocktail of crap Lewis gave me effectively began the process and the pregnancy and miscarriage ordeal along with the pain pills and complications following that mess caused a whole debacle and… fuck it. Whole thing has to go. Good riddance to bad rubbish." She smiled sadly. "Anyway. I'll be down a while."

"You really think I'm not coming over with movies and pizza?" he asked.

"You don't have to –"

"I'm your boyfriend."

"You can't just declare yourself my boyfriend after one date," she said.

"Two dates," he said.

"I thought you said it was a meeting," she countered.

"I reserve the right to change my mind. After all, you did kiss me," Rafael said with a grin. "Unless I was hallucinating."

She paused, contemplating his words. "All right," she conceded. "It was a date. So this is our second date. And you want this to be… more."

"Olivia… you deserve everything." He was interrupted by the waitress dropping the dessert plates and the check between them. "If everything includes me, so be it. If it doesn't…"

She blinked at him, eyes wide. "Rafael, it's a little much."

"So cake and flan," he said. "And I'll get you home."

As it turned out, she lived on 5th, in a building on the same block he lived on – just on the opposite side of the street and at the far corner over the shitty bodega and the subway station. Her rent was probably sky high, too, since she didn't have the jackass boyfriend anymore.

"Well, this is me," Olivia said, gesturing at the door and quirking a smile. "I'd ask if you wanted to come up but the elevator is down and there's no way you're making it up twelve flights of stairs after that dinner."

"Probably not," he agreed with a chuckle, leaning in and giving her a light kiss. "Good night, Olivia."

She pulled him back, deepened the kiss and made it into something more, something that would haunt his dreams – his fantasies, his wet dreams, those shameless moments when he was desperately jerking off in the shower – all the while holding him close. Until suddenly she stopped.

"Good night," she whispered.

"You're going to drive me crazy," he groaned after she had retreated inside. He rested his head against the brick wall for a moment, trying to gather his wits before he crossed the street to go home for the night. Knowing she was so damn close was absolute torture.

He sent her a quick text. Sleep well. I'm sorry if I upset you at all tonight.

Rafael was midway through brushing his teeth and reading an email from his boss when her reply came through. You didn't. I'm sorry if I upset you. Sleep well. He went back to the email and then came another ding. It was a really good kiss. And another ding. Please tell me you felt it too.

He could lie and be a safety net in her time of need, or he could tell the truth and open up her world to every possibility that they could meet together. His fingers danced over the keyboard. I felt it.

Rafael wasn't sure what had woken him up. Not until the next ring; his phone. Slowly, sluggishly, he rolled over and grabbed at it. "Hello?" he mumbled. When no reply came, only panicked breathing, he snapped, "Who the fuck is this? What the hell do you want?"

He glanced at his caller ID readout and his heart nearly fell out of his chest. "Olivia? Baby – sweetheart, breathe – it's okay. It's okay. I'm here. I'm sorry, I wasn't awake yet, honey. What happened? Do I need to come over?" He paused for a long moment. "Hey… hey… just breathe. It's okay. He can't hurt you, baby. I promise. He can't hurt you."

"Rafael…" she whimpered.

"It's okay," he promised. "Do you want me to come over?"

"Please," she whispered. She sounded so broken, so fragile it crushed him to hear it.

"Okay," he said. "I need to know what apartment number and you'll have to buzz me up. Can you do that, Olivia? I know it's hard, but I'll be there soon. I promise."

"12C," she mumbled. "I'm sorry – I should have called someone else –"

"No," Rafael said, already on his feet and pulling on a pair of sweatpants over his boxers and looking for a t-shirt. "It's okay. I want you to call me. I want you to feel safe with me, Olivia." He squinted around the room, looking for his glasses. Once found, he realized it was two in the morning. "I'll be there soon," he promised. "Do you want me to stay on the phone?"

"Please."

"Okay," he said. He talked to her softly as he all but jogged to her building and pressed the buzzer. It took a couple of tries to get her to believe it was really him. "Olivia, I promise, it's me pushing the buzzer," he assured her over the phone. She finally buzzed him in and he began the trudge upstairs.

Finally, he made it up to the 12th floor. Thighs screaming, head pounding, exhaustion setting in, he leaned against the doorframe of 12C and gently knocked. Olivia was just on the other side, her face streaked with tears, eyes wild and reddish pink from crying, anguish clearly painted over her entire countenance as she all but threw herself into the safety and security of his embrace.

"I woke up but I wasn't really awake and he was here," she gasped into his ear, the words full of a terror only she knew. "He was everywhere – I could smell him and feel him and…" He held her close, cradled her in his arms as if she were the most precious thing in the world – and she absolutely was. "All I could think about was getting the fuck away."

"So you called me?" Rafael asked, a little amused, pulling her into the apartment and closing the door behind them.

"Yes," she whispered, leaning into him and all but curling up. He just held her and whispered soothingly until she was ready to move. "Rafael?"

"Yes?"

"How did you get here so quickly?"

"Don't worry about it right now." He rubbed her back soothingly and let her lead him into her bedroom. "You want me to go now?"

"No; stay, please. He'll come back."

He didn't want to point out that, rationally, William Lewis had only been in her imagination and stuck somewhere in her fevered sleep, so he didn't. Instead, he just shut up and crawled into bed with her, making sure she was comfortable as he chased away the monsters that lurked in her dreams.

But he made sure he set an alarm with plenty of time to get home and changed in time for his commute. It was going to be a long morning. He might need a triple shot.

He woke up to his alarm… and Olivia pressed against him in ways that would tempt a saint and rouse a sinner. He prayed for strength; the woman really didn't know what she did to him and he hoped he could keep it together for her sake. She really did not need another poor excuse of a man saying he was in her corner only to destroy her faith.

He brushed a kiss against her forehead as he left her bed, confident that this would not be his only adventure in demon slaying. Nor would it be his only time spent betwixt her sheets.

TBC...