Krin Chapter One: Mind, Body and Bits
...1,089...1090...
"Hee, hee..."
...1,091...1,092...
"Hee, hee, hee..."
...1,093...1,094.
"Hee, hee, hee...hahahahahahahaha!"
A short middle-aged man with disheviled brown hair grabbed his flubby sphere of a belly as he rolled around in gleeful laughter.
"1,094 bits from just one, easy purse!" he exclaimed inbetween his gigglings. "What a catch! Hee hee hee!"
The little round man, after several more minutes of rolling and giggling, stood up and hovered ominously over his pile of little round gold bits. The bits were stacked and organized into perfectly symmetrical rows on his antique wooden desk (he had stolen that desk two years ago from some appraisal shop in Antei). The short, paunchy man crouched over and carefully eyed the stacks of money, much in the same way a sculptor examines his clay. He reached out with his fat, grubby paws and straightened the tiny towers so that they became rows of expertly hand-crafted poles. His bits always had to be perfectly even, perfectly straight. Even if everything else in his life was not.
The house in which this man lived, this man who's name was Krin, was located in the small town of Kouan. The town normally would never have permitted such a well-known thief to take up residence upon their soil, but since no one else was willing to pay taxes for such a godforsaken, run-down home, Krin was reluctantly permitted to stay.
Krin's house, or rather, Krin's shack was barely a house at all. There was only one room, and it was about the size of a large walk-in closet. Book-shelves stood up to the ceiling (one of which covered a gaping hole in the roof) against either side of the wall. They contained all sorts of goodies that Krin had come across over the years. War trophies, jewelry chests, various pieces of armor, some swords, a battle axe, some old books, and a jar filled with some strange, green substance were just some of the valuables that Krin had collected in his numerous journies.
In the middle of the floor, between the book-cases, lay a futon upon which Krin slept during the day. The futon was a light-brown color (not including the un-countable amount of multi-colored stains that were sprinkled about it's surface), and it released an odd odor that was kind of like a mix between old turkey sandwiches and hot leather.
Not far behind the futon was Krin's antique desk, behind which was a locked chest that contained all of his precious bits. The chest was locked with a special spring-loaded lock that fired a tiny, poisonous needle at the throat of anyone who attempted to open it. The poison was deadly, and it only took ten minutes to stop the heart from beating completely. Luckily for him, Krin knew how to open the lock without setting off the device. Plus he kept the antidote in his pocket at all times, just in case he slipped up. But Krin was a master at his craft, he never slipped.
Much like his house, Krin himself was kind of a mess. To call Krin unattractive would be doing the man a favor. Krin was just plain ugly. Hideous, even.
Krin was short, abnormally short. This was perhaps due to the fact he was born a hunch-back, meaning he walked around permanently hunched over like some kind of monkey (a passerby once called him "Igor". He wasn't sure what it meant but he knew it wasn't a compliment, so he stuck one of those previously mentioned needles in the guy's neck. It was quite satisfying).
To add to his disporportionate appearance, his head was far too large for his body. Not only that, but his right eye wandered and was always half-way closed.
Krin's fashion sense wasn't going to get him into the Annual Scarleticia Fashion Show either. He simply wore what was comfortable and what made executing his craft easier.
A bear-skin vest was thrown over a loose purple tunic, underneath which was a pair of baggy black pants. For his foot-wear Krin chose a pair of soft, black shoes that were sewn tight around the ankles. Krin loved his shoes, they were soft and silent yet still easy enough to run quickly in. The ultimate in theif footwear.
"Eh?" Krin perked up (well, perked up as much as a hunch-back could perk up) as he heard a knock on the door. "Hmm...I wonder who that could be...hee hee."
It was a rare thing for the thief to ever get visitors at his home. In fact, it was so rare that he wasn't sure if it had ever happened before.
He shuffled over to the door and cracked it open, peering outside with the larger of his two eyes, "Hmm, yes? Can I help you?"
"Sorry to bother you at such a late hour sir, but we've had reports that thief who stole this woman's purse," the man outside, who was quite obviously a guard, indicated behind him to a young blonde woman who was fuming red with rage. "Was seen escaping into this house. Would you mind if I took a look around? I assure you it'll only take a minute or two."
"Hee hee hee," Krin giggled. He just loved it when the authorities got involved in his affairs. It made him all tingly inside. "Of course, of course. Come right in. Make yourself at home..."
"Er, thank you," the guard stepped into the house as Krin opened the door wider, the woman following closely behind. The guard winced and quickly held his nose shut as he caught a wiff of the futon, the blonde woman followed suit. It didn't take them long to scour the area, and it was quite clear that the two of them didn't plan on staying in the same room as that putrid smell any longer than they had to. The man turned to the blonde woman, they were both still holding their noses. "It doesn't look like your purse is anywhere in here, ma'am."
The woman sighed in frustration, the smell of the futon apparently fueling her rage, "Well what about in that chest in the back? The little rat could have easily stuck it in there long before we even got here!"
Krin, not wanting this little encounter to end in somebody's untimely death, quickly joined in the conversation. So quickly, in fact, that his two guests jumped at the sound of his croaked voice, "I assure you there's nothing in there but my own personal bits. You can feel free to look if you'd like, but I don't reccomend it. I have it rigged, you see. Afterall, you never can trust people these days, as this innocent young lady found out the hard way today."
The guard eyed the chest suspiciously for a moment and then turned to face the blonde woman, "Miss, I suggest you return to your home for tonight. There's all ready a guard waiting outside to escort you, so you don't have to worry about getting robbed again. We can continue our search in the morning."
"What?! How do you expect me to-"
"That's an order, Miss. I'm sorry, but we've been at this for hours and have yet to find anything. I'll remain here to question this gentlemen for a little while longer. Rest assured, we will resume our search in the morning. I will personally see to it."
"But, but...ugh!" the woman tossed her hands into the air, then quickly brought them back to her nose as the horrible smell entered her nostrils once again. "Fine, but you better be at my house at the crack of dawn, you hear me? The crack of dawn!"
"Yes ma'am, I swear to it."
The blonde woman stumbled clumsily out the door and shouted something incoherent at the guard waiting outside. The footsteps of the woman stomping away and those of the guard running quickly to catch up with her eventually faded away into the night. For a brief moment, all was silent again in Krin's home.
"Hee hee hee..."
"What're you laughing at?" the guard snapped, removing his helmet and tucking it beneath his arm. "Do you think this is somehow funny?"
"Hee hee, no no, nothing like that. Here," Krin tossed the guard a small change purse filled with bits. "Don't spend it all in one place, hee hee hee..."
The guard opened up the purse and peeked inside, counting each and every bit with his eyes. Satisfied that it was a good enough amount, he closed the purse up and stuffed it into his pocket. "One of these days I'm gonna stop taking these bribes, you know that don't you?"
Krin smiled his crooked, backwards smile. The very smile that made everyone near him cringe and cover their children's eyes, "Of course I know that. I've planned ahead for that day for a while now, you see. And that day will be the day that I simply blackmail you instead."
"Blackmail?!" the guard almost knocked over a small ceramic jar that was resting in the bookcase. "You've got nothing on me, rat!"
"Krin."
"Shut up!"
The short thief shrugged, which looked much more awkward on him than it did any normal human, "Believe what you wish, my friend. I just hope, for your sake, that you continue to accept these little bribes of mine. I don't think you're kind and loving wife, the mother of your two boys, would be happy to know you frequent the local brothel on a weekly basis. Hee hee. Every wednesday, to be exact. Hee hee hee!"
The guard growled and was about to smash Krin's head in when he saw something sparkle in the palm of the thief's hand. Upon closer examination, the guard realized it was a poisonous needle. And knowing Krin the way he did, it was most likely a lethal dosage.
"I'll see you soon, Lieutenant Breggar," Krin smiled again, partially stifling another obnoxious giggle.
The Lieutenant was about to storm out the door when he stopped suddenly and turned to face this creature that had recently become like a scar that wouldn't heal, rather than just a splinter that he couldn't remove. "Don't you care about anything but money?" he asked.
The thief shrugged, the needle still in his hand, "You know what they say, hee hee. Mind, body and bits."
"You mean mind, body and soul there, pal."
"That's what I said. Mind, body and bits."
Lieutenant Breggar sighed and slammed the door shut, causing the small ceramic jar to come crashing down from the shelf and shatter into a million little pieces on the floor. The jar had been a priceless artifact supposedly taken from the Sindar ruins.
"Hee hee....hee hee hee...hee hee hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!"
...1,089...1090...
"Hee, hee..."
...1,091...1,092...
"Hee, hee, hee..."
...1,093...1,094.
"Hee, hee, hee...hahahahahahahaha!"
A short middle-aged man with disheviled brown hair grabbed his flubby sphere of a belly as he rolled around in gleeful laughter.
"1,094 bits from just one, easy purse!" he exclaimed inbetween his gigglings. "What a catch! Hee hee hee!"
The little round man, after several more minutes of rolling and giggling, stood up and hovered ominously over his pile of little round gold bits. The bits were stacked and organized into perfectly symmetrical rows on his antique wooden desk (he had stolen that desk two years ago from some appraisal shop in Antei). The short, paunchy man crouched over and carefully eyed the stacks of money, much in the same way a sculptor examines his clay. He reached out with his fat, grubby paws and straightened the tiny towers so that they became rows of expertly hand-crafted poles. His bits always had to be perfectly even, perfectly straight. Even if everything else in his life was not.
The house in which this man lived, this man who's name was Krin, was located in the small town of Kouan. The town normally would never have permitted such a well-known thief to take up residence upon their soil, but since no one else was willing to pay taxes for such a godforsaken, run-down home, Krin was reluctantly permitted to stay.
Krin's house, or rather, Krin's shack was barely a house at all. There was only one room, and it was about the size of a large walk-in closet. Book-shelves stood up to the ceiling (one of which covered a gaping hole in the roof) against either side of the wall. They contained all sorts of goodies that Krin had come across over the years. War trophies, jewelry chests, various pieces of armor, some swords, a battle axe, some old books, and a jar filled with some strange, green substance were just some of the valuables that Krin had collected in his numerous journies.
In the middle of the floor, between the book-cases, lay a futon upon which Krin slept during the day. The futon was a light-brown color (not including the un-countable amount of multi-colored stains that were sprinkled about it's surface), and it released an odd odor that was kind of like a mix between old turkey sandwiches and hot leather.
Not far behind the futon was Krin's antique desk, behind which was a locked chest that contained all of his precious bits. The chest was locked with a special spring-loaded lock that fired a tiny, poisonous needle at the throat of anyone who attempted to open it. The poison was deadly, and it only took ten minutes to stop the heart from beating completely. Luckily for him, Krin knew how to open the lock without setting off the device. Plus he kept the antidote in his pocket at all times, just in case he slipped up. But Krin was a master at his craft, he never slipped.
Much like his house, Krin himself was kind of a mess. To call Krin unattractive would be doing the man a favor. Krin was just plain ugly. Hideous, even.
Krin was short, abnormally short. This was perhaps due to the fact he was born a hunch-back, meaning he walked around permanently hunched over like some kind of monkey (a passerby once called him "Igor". He wasn't sure what it meant but he knew it wasn't a compliment, so he stuck one of those previously mentioned needles in the guy's neck. It was quite satisfying).
To add to his disporportionate appearance, his head was far too large for his body. Not only that, but his right eye wandered and was always half-way closed.
Krin's fashion sense wasn't going to get him into the Annual Scarleticia Fashion Show either. He simply wore what was comfortable and what made executing his craft easier.
A bear-skin vest was thrown over a loose purple tunic, underneath which was a pair of baggy black pants. For his foot-wear Krin chose a pair of soft, black shoes that were sewn tight around the ankles. Krin loved his shoes, they were soft and silent yet still easy enough to run quickly in. The ultimate in theif footwear.
"Eh?" Krin perked up (well, perked up as much as a hunch-back could perk up) as he heard a knock on the door. "Hmm...I wonder who that could be...hee hee."
It was a rare thing for the thief to ever get visitors at his home. In fact, it was so rare that he wasn't sure if it had ever happened before.
He shuffled over to the door and cracked it open, peering outside with the larger of his two eyes, "Hmm, yes? Can I help you?"
"Sorry to bother you at such a late hour sir, but we've had reports that thief who stole this woman's purse," the man outside, who was quite obviously a guard, indicated behind him to a young blonde woman who was fuming red with rage. "Was seen escaping into this house. Would you mind if I took a look around? I assure you it'll only take a minute or two."
"Hee hee hee," Krin giggled. He just loved it when the authorities got involved in his affairs. It made him all tingly inside. "Of course, of course. Come right in. Make yourself at home..."
"Er, thank you," the guard stepped into the house as Krin opened the door wider, the woman following closely behind. The guard winced and quickly held his nose shut as he caught a wiff of the futon, the blonde woman followed suit. It didn't take them long to scour the area, and it was quite clear that the two of them didn't plan on staying in the same room as that putrid smell any longer than they had to. The man turned to the blonde woman, they were both still holding their noses. "It doesn't look like your purse is anywhere in here, ma'am."
The woman sighed in frustration, the smell of the futon apparently fueling her rage, "Well what about in that chest in the back? The little rat could have easily stuck it in there long before we even got here!"
Krin, not wanting this little encounter to end in somebody's untimely death, quickly joined in the conversation. So quickly, in fact, that his two guests jumped at the sound of his croaked voice, "I assure you there's nothing in there but my own personal bits. You can feel free to look if you'd like, but I don't reccomend it. I have it rigged, you see. Afterall, you never can trust people these days, as this innocent young lady found out the hard way today."
The guard eyed the chest suspiciously for a moment and then turned to face the blonde woman, "Miss, I suggest you return to your home for tonight. There's all ready a guard waiting outside to escort you, so you don't have to worry about getting robbed again. We can continue our search in the morning."
"What?! How do you expect me to-"
"That's an order, Miss. I'm sorry, but we've been at this for hours and have yet to find anything. I'll remain here to question this gentlemen for a little while longer. Rest assured, we will resume our search in the morning. I will personally see to it."
"But, but...ugh!" the woman tossed her hands into the air, then quickly brought them back to her nose as the horrible smell entered her nostrils once again. "Fine, but you better be at my house at the crack of dawn, you hear me? The crack of dawn!"
"Yes ma'am, I swear to it."
The blonde woman stumbled clumsily out the door and shouted something incoherent at the guard waiting outside. The footsteps of the woman stomping away and those of the guard running quickly to catch up with her eventually faded away into the night. For a brief moment, all was silent again in Krin's home.
"Hee hee hee..."
"What're you laughing at?" the guard snapped, removing his helmet and tucking it beneath his arm. "Do you think this is somehow funny?"
"Hee hee, no no, nothing like that. Here," Krin tossed the guard a small change purse filled with bits. "Don't spend it all in one place, hee hee hee..."
The guard opened up the purse and peeked inside, counting each and every bit with his eyes. Satisfied that it was a good enough amount, he closed the purse up and stuffed it into his pocket. "One of these days I'm gonna stop taking these bribes, you know that don't you?"
Krin smiled his crooked, backwards smile. The very smile that made everyone near him cringe and cover their children's eyes, "Of course I know that. I've planned ahead for that day for a while now, you see. And that day will be the day that I simply blackmail you instead."
"Blackmail?!" the guard almost knocked over a small ceramic jar that was resting in the bookcase. "You've got nothing on me, rat!"
"Krin."
"Shut up!"
The short thief shrugged, which looked much more awkward on him than it did any normal human, "Believe what you wish, my friend. I just hope, for your sake, that you continue to accept these little bribes of mine. I don't think you're kind and loving wife, the mother of your two boys, would be happy to know you frequent the local brothel on a weekly basis. Hee hee. Every wednesday, to be exact. Hee hee hee!"
The guard growled and was about to smash Krin's head in when he saw something sparkle in the palm of the thief's hand. Upon closer examination, the guard realized it was a poisonous needle. And knowing Krin the way he did, it was most likely a lethal dosage.
"I'll see you soon, Lieutenant Breggar," Krin smiled again, partially stifling another obnoxious giggle.
The Lieutenant was about to storm out the door when he stopped suddenly and turned to face this creature that had recently become like a scar that wouldn't heal, rather than just a splinter that he couldn't remove. "Don't you care about anything but money?" he asked.
The thief shrugged, the needle still in his hand, "You know what they say, hee hee. Mind, body and bits."
"You mean mind, body and soul there, pal."
"That's what I said. Mind, body and bits."
Lieutenant Breggar sighed and slammed the door shut, causing the small ceramic jar to come crashing down from the shelf and shatter into a million little pieces on the floor. The jar had been a priceless artifact supposedly taken from the Sindar ruins.
"Hee hee....hee hee hee...hee hee hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!"