Betrayal 2/4

The only real change Harry noticed now that it had become common knowledge that the Harry Potter at Hogwarts had been an impostor and the real Harry Potter was in Lord Voldemort's hands, was that the Death Eater meetings were now held in one of the large ballrooms at Riddle Mansion and he no longer had to keep out of sight. Tom even made a point of introducing him to them, and had them swear their allegiance to the Dark Lord's young charge.

It was clear that a number of Death Eaters were somewhat disgruntled at having been kept in the dark about such an important fact, although they were careful not to show it. Harry was aware that Lucius Malfoy in particular was envious that Severus Snape had been trusted with such information, but not him. This seemed to amuse Severus to no end.

Harry felt little inclination to stay at those Death Eater meetings, opting rather to spend his time in the dungeons with Severus, tinkering with complex and dark potions, or in the library studying. Besides, he had a more pressing project to work on than helping Tom with his quest for (wizarding) world domination. After nearly three years knowing he was a wizard, Harry wanted a wand.

He didn't know why Tom refused to give him one, forbid him to touch Tom's or Severus', but he was getting tired of Tom changing the subject and distracting him. He was a wizard, so he should have a wand. He could do a fair amount of spells by wandless magic; he was probably more skilled in wandless magic than many powerful wizards, but it was still more tiring and took more effort than magic with a wand would. He'd spent nearly three years studying spells. He knew the theory by heart. It was time to be allowed to bring that knowledge into practice.

He tried subtle hints at first, but when it became clear Tom was playing oblivious he tried the direct approach. This resulted in a screaming match and their first fight ever. They had both become so angry that the books in the library started flying around and when one particularly large tome crashed to the floor, nearly hitting Nagini, Tom had stomped from the room and not returned for two days. He did leave Severus with Harry so that he wasn't alone, and during that time Harry tried to get Severus to tell him why Tom was so adverse to Harry having a wand. Either Severus didn't know or he refused to tell, but he did promise that he would try and convince Tom that Harry should get one.

When Tom returned they both made their apologies and Harry was careful not to bring up the topic of wands again. Or at least not for a week.

In the end it was Severus who finally got Tom to change his mind. Harry was a little reluctant to use the Potions master so, for while he knew Tom would never harm him, there was no guarantee he wouldn't hurt Severus if the Potions master got him sufficiently angry. But Severus assured him he could hold his own, and in the end Harry was eager to accept any help that could get him his own wizarding wand.

He was hiding behind the door when Severus approached Tom about Harry's wand, and he did his best not to make a sound so that neither wizard would notice his presence.

"Master, Harry is a talented wizard; with a wand he could cultivate that talent. He is an excellent potions maker, but even I must admit potions aren't everything."

"Severus, I told you I do not wish to discuss this."

"But my Lord, whatever reason could you have to not allow Harry his own wand?"

"He can cast spells without them, he's nearly as skilled as I am in wandless magic. He doesn't need one."

"There is a limit to the kind of spells a wizard can cast without a wand. Only simple spells. He can disarm another wizard but not much else; if he were to end up in a duel he would be in grave danger."

"He has me! I will protect him!"

"My Lord –"

"Severus! I told you to stop this line of questions." There was a dangerous tone in Tom's voice but for once Severus paid it no heed.

"My Lord, I beg you to listen to me. Harry needs to be able to defend himself; even you can't always be there for him. I can think of no good reason to deny him a wand. Don't you trust him? He is devoted to you and would never raise his wand against you."

Tom was silent and Harry held his breath. He was ready to jump forward and intervene, to stop Tom from hurting Severus which he undoubtedly would after being spoken to in such a manner.

But instead of anger Tom sighed and the dangerous silence was broken.

"I guess you're right, Severus. It's just – It would seem some habits are hard to break. Harry will have his wand."

At this Harry couldn't stop himself and he shouted his joy, ran to Tom and threw his arms around the other boy in excitement.

"Thank you, Tom, thank you! I promise I'll make you proud, thank you! I'm really going to get a wand of my own?"

Tom laughed and ruffled his hair.

"Yes, Harry, I'll get you a wand." He looked mock-angrily at Harry and Severus.

"Why do I get the feeling I've been expertly manipulated?" he grumbled and Harry blushed, but knew that it was pride he saw in Tom's eyes.

He looked at Severus and his face became serious again.

"You're excused this one time, Severus, but I don't recommend you taking that tone with me again."

Severus lowered his eyes and bowed his head respectfully.

"Of course, Master."

"When will I get my wand?" Harry interrupted and Tom smiled again indulgently.

"You'll have to have a little patience, Harry. We need to go to Diagon Alley to get your wand, and we can't just go there by floo, precautions have to be made. Especially now people know that you're with me."

Harry sobered at this piece of information. Of course it wouldn't be safe for Lord Voldemort to just show up in one the British wizarding world's most busy places.

"But not too long?"

Tom shook his head. "I promise, as soon as possible I'll take you to Ollivander's and you'll get your wand."

Harry was still excited by the time evening came round and it was time to go to bed.

"I'm sorry I've been difficult about this," Tom said as he tucked Harry in. Severus was standing in the doorway, watching them, and Nagini, who had gained even more weight and become quite round halfway down her length, was coiled around herself at the foot of the bed. "There are certain things that you don't know, things that happened and I sometimes forget that things are different now."

"It's all right, Tom. I'm glad you trust me now."

"Harry, it wasn't a matter of trust, okay? I trust you; never doubt that. I trust you more than I trust myself even. I love you no matter what, never forget that.

"Now, you're still so hyper. Do I need to sing you a song to get you to sleep?"

Tom ignored Harry's half-hearted protest and his green eyes twinkled merrily as he began to sing.

"Hush, my dear Harry, don't say a word, Papa's going to buy you a golden bird.

And if that Quidditch snitch won't zoom, Papa's going to buy you a wizard's broom.

And if that flying broom won't go faster, Papa's going to get you a Potions master."

Harry heard Severus' snort of amusement and Tom leaned closer to whisper the next verse in his ear.

"And if that Potions master has you bored, Tom will see what kind of wand he can afford."

They were both laughing then and Harry chased Tom from the room, throwing pillows after the two escaping men to Nagini's amusement.

Summer passed slowly. Harry spent most of his time in the dungeon with Severus while Tom was busy making arrangements for them to go to Diagon Alley safely. Harry was excited, not just because he was going to finally have a wand, but it would also be the first time in nearly three years that he left the mansion. He'd long since become resigned to the fact that he wouldn't be going to Hogwarts, and ever since Tom's return and Severus becoming his teacher Harry found he really didn't care anymore. As long as he was with Tom and Severus it didn't matter.

August turned into September and just when Harry started despairing they'd never go to Diagon Alley, Tom woke him up one Wednesday morning with the words: 'Today you'll have your wand.'

Tom summoned Severus first and the three of them went outside where Tom summoned the rest of his Death Eaters. While he addressed them and gave them their final orders Harry stood next to Severus and tried to contain his excitement. The Death Eaters apparated and Tom joined Severus and him again.

"Are you ready, Harry?"

"Yes, Tom."

"Remember what I told you?"

Harry nodded and grasped Tom's hand. "I am to stay near you at all times, keep my hood up, and if something happens hide at Gringotts."

Tom smiled and pulled the hood of Harry's long black cloak over his head, effectively hiding Harry's features from view.

"Good." He pulled up the hood of his own cloak as Severus did the same. "Let's go."

Severus pointed his wand at himself and said 'Apparate Diagon Alley.' Tom pointed his wand at Harry and did the same.

For the second time in his life Harry felt as if he was falling and he heard that strange 'pop' in his ears. When he opened his eyes they were no longer standing in the grass before Riddle Mansion but in what was obviously a shopping street. The street was empty, although Harry could hear shouts of distress further along, but he paid them no heed. Instead he looked up at the store they had appeared in front of. Its front was narrow and shabby and over the door Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 BC was painted in peeling gold paint.

Severus pushed the door open and as Harry and Tom followed him Harry saw a big black dog amble up the street toward them. But then they were inside, a faint tinkling bell rang out. Still holding Tom's hand Harry looked around in wonder: the shop was filled with long thin boxes, undoubtedly wands.

"Good morning," a soft voice said and Harry jumped in surprise. He turned his attention to the man standing in front of him. He was old and thin and had wide silvery eyes that seemed able to see him despite the hood obscuring his features. Tom pushed back the hood of his own cloak as Severus did the same, Harry quickly followed their example.

The man's eyes rested on Tom a moment, and then he lowered his lids in what might be called respect.

"Greetings… your lordship."

Tom smirked and rested his hand on Harry's shoulder.

"It is good to see you again, Ollivander. We're here for Harry's wand."

Ollivander returned his gaze to Harry, who tried not to squirm beneath those pale silvery eyes.

"Ah yes, Harry Potter. The real one. I must say, that was quite an impressive spell, even had me fooled."

Tom smirked but said nothing, Severus stayed silent in the background, standing near the door in case somebody came in despite the diversion Tom's Death Eaters were creating a little further down the road.

"You have your mother's eyes, why it seems only yesterday –"

"We're here for Harry's wand, Ollivander, not to chat."

"Of course… Very well, what is your wand arm, boy?"

Harry looked to Tom for support. Tom nodded and smiled encouragingly.

"My right." He held out his right arm. Ollivander took out a tape measure and started measuring Harry's arm, shoulder to finger, wrist to elbow, and then he moved toward the shelves with boxes as the tape measure kept taking measurements: his legs, his waist, between his nostrils.

"It is the wand that chooses the wizard, and all Ollivander wands have a core of a powerful magical substance. No two Ollivander wands are the same, and you will never get as good results with another's wand as with your own. Ah, here. Beachwood and dragon heartstring, nine inches, just take it and give it a wave."

Harry took hold of the wand and waved it through the air as he'd seen Tom and Severus do. However, nothing happened and Ollivander snatched it back before looking through the boxes.

Harry lost count of all the wands he tried, none seemed to work properly or pass Ollivander's scrutiny. He started to despair and become worried that there might be no wand for him, but Tom squeezed his left hand and Ollivander reassured him they'd find one.

"Here, try this one. An unusual combination, holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple."

This time when Harry held the wand it felt warm to his touch, and when he moved it through the air in a wide arch it emitted red and green sparks like firework.

"I've got a wand!" Harry cried out in excitement and Tom laughed and hugged him.

"Well done! Very good!" Ollivander said; he seemed just as pleased as Harry. "But curious, very curious."

"What do you mean?" Tom asked and they both looked at Ollivander, who now had a pensive look on his face.

"Well, Mr Potter, I remember every wand I've sold. And it just so happens that the phoenix that gave the feather for your wand also gave one more, just one. That other feather is in the very same wand that…" and now Ollivander's silver eyes rested on the lightning bolt shaped scar on Harry's forehead before they flicked to Tom who stood there silently, watching. "The very same wand that… your companion received."

Harry spun around to Tom.

"We have brother wands?" He'd read all about the phenomenon and the thought that he and Tom shared this as well made his heart swell.

Tom smiled and reached inside his robes.

"It would seem so," he looked back to Ollivander. "Seven galleons, is it not?"

"That is correct. It was a … pleasure doing business with you."

Tom nodded and pulled the hood of his cloak up again.

"Time to be going, Harry."

Harry nodded distractedly and pulled his own hood up as he followed Tom out the store. Severus held the door open for them, Tom went through first and then Harry. Tom looked toward the other end of Diagon Alley from where shouting and screaming could still be heard. In the air above the Dark Mark hung now like an ominous cloud.

"Ah, that brings back memories, Severus," Tom said.

"Yes, my Lord."

While they spoke the large black dog Harry had seen approaching when they entered Ollivander's crept forward and then flopped on its back before Harry, wagging its tail. Without really thinking Harry let go of Tom's hand and reached down to pat the dog.

The moment Harry ran his fingers through the dog's thick black fur he felt a tug behind his navel and the world seemed to spin; he experienced that same falling sensation as when he apparated and he heard Tom shout his name. Then he was stumbling on uneven ground and surrounded by trees.

The black dog morphed and changed into a man with pale blue eyes and half long black hair.

"Harry," he said reaching out for him, but Harry scrambled away in panic as his fevered eyes took in his surroundings and the three other people standing there. A woman with black hair held up in a bun, a brown haired man he recognized from Severus' description as the werewolf Remus Lupin, and finally an old man with a long white beard and sparkling blue eyes: Albus Dumbledore.

Clutching his new wand and holding it out in front of him Harry frantically looked for a way of escape, looked for Tom.

"Harry…" Dumbledore said and Harry spun round to face him.

"Get away from me! Tom! Tom, help me! Tom!"

"You're safe now, Harry, you're safe now," the black haired man said and Harry turned round to face him. The man was slowly walking toward him, reaching out to take Harry's wand.

"No! Stay away from me! I want Tom! What have you done to Tom? Tom! Help me, Tom!"

"Harry, give me your wand. It's all right, Harry," the man said and his hand inched closer to Harry's wand.

"Expelliarmus!" Harry had only ever used wandless magic before, and he had practiced this spell with Severus. But nothing could have prepared him for the added power using a wand would give. The magic surged through him and the black haired man was thrown back nearly thirty feet, clipping his arm against a tree; Harry heard the bone snap.

"Harry!" Lupin called and in a panic Harry turned and shouted 'Expelliarmus' again. This time he missed, Lupin only just managed to duck the spell.

Then from behind him he heard someone cast a spell, 'Stupefy', and the world went dark.

*~*

"Enervate."

Harry's eyes snapped open and he sat up straight. A hand rested on his shoulder, holding him restrained and on the bed.

He was lying on a bed in what could only be an infirmary. It was Dumbledore who was holding him in place, Harry felt the additional restraint of magic and he suspected that even with his wand he would hardly be able to cast magic while Dumbledore held him. His eyes darted around the room and he kept his face carefully blank, not wanting to show his captors how distressed and scared he was.

Tom, where are you? I need you!

"Harry…" It was the black haired man, the one he'd thrown halfway through the clearing. His right arm was in a sling and he was again reaching out to Harry. Harry shied away from his touch as much as Dumbledore's hand on his shoulder allowed.

A pained look crossed the man's face and his left hand fell back to his side.

"Harry, you're safe now, we won't harm you."

"What have you done with Tom? I want to go, let me leave."

A look of surprise passed over the man's features, but it was Dumbledore who spoke.

"Harry, we did nothing to Tom." Harry riled at Dumbledore's use of Tom's name; only he and Nagini were allowed to address him so familiarly. He only just bit back a snapped reply that the other wizard should refer to Tom as Lord Voldemort. "You're at Hogwarts now, safe. I am so very sorry we didn't realise we were dealing with an impostor, but the moment we found out we did our best to bring you here, where you belong."

"I belong with Tom! I want to go!"

There was no mistaking the looks of dismay on the black-haired man's face and that of Lupin and the dark haired woman. Dumbledore, however, showed no surprise, nor any sign of releasing Harry.

"I believe you think you do, Harry. But there are things you don't know, things Tom Riddle has failed to tell you. And you do belong here, at Hogwarts, where you can get a proper education."

Harry narrowed his eyes and looked at Dumbledore suspiciously. He knew about this wizard, nearly as powerful as Tom, he'd defeated the previous Dark Lord, Grindelwald. But a manipulative man, not to be trusted. For the moment he would play along, but the first chance he got… And where was Severus? Probably still with Tom. Harry relaxed slightly. It was going to be all right. Tom would send Severus and Severus would get him out of here, away from these people and back to Tom.

Taking Harry's silence for assent Dumbledore continued.

"What do you know about your parents?"

"The Dursleys said they died in car crash, the same one that gave me this scar." He heard the other three people in the room gasp in disbelief, but Harry kept his eyes on Dumbledore, carefully watching the man for any reaction. "They told me my parents were drunk and got themselves killed. They told me I was a freak and kept me locked in a cupboard for nearly ten years and treated me like a slave until Tom took me away. Obviously they lied." Harry bared his teeth. "You were the one to leave me with them, weren't you?"

Unphased, Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, it seemed the right decision at the time. I am sorry it turned out the way it did. But don't worry; you won't ever be going back to them."
Harry snorted. He would like to see Dumbledore try and send him back to his relatives. He might have been able to do so with Wormtail but the only reason Harry was ever going back there was to deal out some long overdue retribution. A cruel smile twisted his lips; maybe he could convince Tom to pay them a visit when Severus got him back home.

"You're right; they lied to you about your parents, James Potter and Lily Evans." Despite himself Harry listened more closely. He knew very little about his parents, practically nothing actually. Severus had let slip he'd attended Hogwarts at the same time they had, but not much else. Harry admonished himself, it didn't matter; they didn't matter. He had a family now: Tom, Severus, and Nagini.

"Your parents were good wizards, powerful and kind. They were both Aurors and I remember their joy when you were born. Sirius," Dumbledore indicated the black-haired man, "and Remus were their best friends. Sirius is your godfather by the way.

"Whatever the case, by the time you were born, they had become quite a thorn in the side of the rising Dark Lord, Voldemort, and we knew they were high on his hit list."

Harry froze. He didn't like the direction this conversation was taking.

"So when you were born we decided the safest thing for your parents to do was to go into hiding. They used the Fidelius charm, and we all thought Sirius here was their secret keeper. However, at the last moment they chose Peter Pettigrew instead.

"Pettigrew betrayed the location of your parents to Tom Riddle, who came to Godric's Hollow, your parent's house, Hallowe'en night 1981 –"

"No."

"Your father stalled him while your mother took you and tried to flee. Voldemort killed your father –"

"No, you're lying!"

"He cast the killing curse on your mother while she pleaded for your life –"

"No, that's not true, you're lying!"

"And then he tried to kill you –"

"No! Tom would never harm me!"

"But your mother's sacrifice protected you. The Killing Curse was reflected and disembodied him, leaving you with the scar on your forehead." Dumbledore concluded his tale, ignoring Harry's interruptions and protestations.

"You're lying! It's not true! Tom would never hurt me! No!" Harry was screaming, and he covered his ears with his hands. "I'm not listening to you, you're a liar! Tom would never do that to me! Tom wouldn't lie to me! He wouldn't! No!"

He struggled to get away from Dumbledore, screaming for Tom all the while. More hands gripped him and he fought, clawing and biting, until something was poured into his mouth and he was forced to swallow. His struggling became weak, darkness pulled at his vision and he lost consciousness again.

*~*

The next time he awoke Harry felt sluggish and dizzy; he recognized the after effects of one of the heavier calming potions. Groaning he struggled to open his eyes, trying to remember what had happened. The infirmary was empty this time, except for Severus sitting in a chair next to his bed.

Severus! Harry practically threw himself into the Potions master's arms in relief, and he realised he was crying, babbling about the lies Dumbledore had told.

"Severus! I'm so glad you're here, you can get me out! Take me back to Tom!"

Severus stayed silent however, and with a growing feeling of dread Harry pushed himself away; Severus made no attempt to hold him.

"You are here to rescue me, aren't you?"

"Harry –"

Harry's eyes widened in horror. "You helped them. You knew they were going to kidnap me, you helped them," he whispered. Severus didn't speak, just kept staring at him steadily.

"How could you? Traitor!" This time when he launched himself at Severus he did so hitting and screaming, spitting in rage. "Traitor! How could you betray me like that? Betray Tom?! He's your Master! How dare you!"

Severus grabbed Harry's flailing arms and forced him back onto the bed. Harry twisted and turned, trying to get away, to summon his magic to hex the treacherous snake, but he was too upset to manage. Finally Severus managed to get Harry on his back. He straddled Harry's hips and held his wrists above his head in an iron grip.

"Harry, listen to me, you have to listen to me, please."

Panting Harry glared at Severus. "I hope he kills you when he finds out you betrayed him," Harry hissed. Severus went very still, a sad look on his face, and he closed his eyes a moment before speaking again.

"I'm sorry, Harry. But it was for the best, I know it may not seem that way right now, but it was." He looked away and sighed, then met Harry's eyes with a serious look on his face.

"However, that's not what I'm here for now. Albus was telling the truth –"

"No," Harry shook his head in denial, feeling the tears return. It wasn't true. Tom would never do that; Tom would never keep something like that from him.

"The Dark Lord did murder your parents and he lost his body when he tried to kill you."

"No, you're lying, it's not true." Now Harry was crying, because while he could deny it when Dumbledore told him, Severus telling him was a different matter. He remembered the dream he had when Pettigrew was kissed, remembered the man and woman's cries for mercy, his parents he now realised. He remembered that cruel laughter and he now recognized it as Tom's.

"Shhh, Harry, it's all right. It's okay, I'm here." Severus had let go of his wrists, had pulled him into his embrace and was now running soothing hands along his back.

"No, it isn't! It's not all right! Tom murdered my parents! He tried to kill me! Tom!" Harry wailed and he buried his face in Severus' robe sobbing.

It was true. Tom had killed his parents. Tom had abducted him and kept him locked in Riddle Mansion for three years for whatever nefarious purpose he might have. Tom had tried to kill him. No, not Tom. Tom was his friend. Voldemort. But Tom was Voldemort, Harry knew this, they weren't separate entities. Tom was Voldemort just as much as Voldemort was Tom. It was a lie, all of it. He was alone again, Tom had lied to him. Harry was alone.

"I hate you," he finally managed to whisper when the tears stopped and Severus stayed silent. "I hate you both, you both lied to me. I hate you and I hope he kills you and the Death Eaters betray him too and kill him!" Harry was shouting again, and this time Severus let him.

"Get away from me! I don't want to see you, get away! Leave me alone, I hate you both!"

Severus let himself be pushed from the bed and Harry pulled the blankets over his shoulders, turned his back on the other wizard.

"Harry…"

Harry shut his eyes and ignored Severus. He heard the Potions master sigh again and then leave the room. Opening his eyes Harry stared unseeingly at the wall as he tried not to think of the horrible mess his life had become in only a few hours.

Some time later Sirius Black, his godfather, and Remus Lupin came back into the infirmary and tried to talk to him. There were hardly any safe topics and conversation was stilted, filled with awkward and uncomfortable silences. When evening neared they took him to Dumbledore's office. Harry sat in a chair in front of the Headmaster as he listened to Dumbledore go on about how he would take his classes and what measures they'd taken to prevent Tom – no, Voldemort, his mind interrupted, not Tom – from kidnapping him again.

He would be tutored in the classes he had no experience in until he reached the appropriate level, although he could join his year mates in History, Herbology, and Magical Theory. He was excused from Potions considering he could probably already take his NEWTS with flying colours in that subject.

Besides Remus, Sirius, and Dumbledore there were four more people in the room, the four Heads of Houses. The dark-haired woman, who he now remembered was Head of Gryffindor and called Minerva McGonagall; a small dwarf-like man, Filius Flitwick, the Head of Ravenclaw; Iris Sprout, the Head of Huffelpuff, and of course Severus Snape, Head of Slytherin. Harry purposely refused to look in Severus' direction. Their presence was soon explained when Dumbledore took the Sorting Hat and put it on Harry's head.

He could only see the inside of the hat. It fell over his eyes and Harry waited impatiently for it to be over with.

"Ah, Harry Potter. The real one, finally. I must say, that was quite an impressive spell, even had me fooled."
"Just get on with it."

"Impatient one, aren't you. Very well, where to put you? Difficult. You would do well in all the Houses –"

"Listen, just get this over with. I don't care, as long as it's not Slytherin. Anything but Slytherin."

Tom had been in Slytherin, as had Severus, and Severus was the Head of Slytherin as well. Harry's lips twisted in a bitter sneer. He remembered fantasizing about being allowed to go to Hogwarts, being sorted into Slytherin, Tom and Severus' house.

"Not Slytherin, you say? Very well, then you shall go to GRYFFINDOR!"

Dumbledore seemed way too pleased with himself, but Harry ignored him, avoided looking at Severus, and let Sirius and Remus lead him to the Great Hall where students were beginning to gather for dinner. Just before they entered Sirius transformed into his animagus form, he would be staying with Harry at all times to keep him safe.

Harry sat down at the Gryffindor table but didn't look up as the Hall steadily filled. He was aware of the whispers, the curious stares, but kept staring at the empty plate in front of him. Sirius whined and placed his head on Harry's knee. Absentmindedly Harry patted the dog's head then pushed it off his lap.

When all the students had arrived Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement. This time Harry did look up and he noted that Severus was absent from the teachers' table. He wasn't surprised; he'd felt the tingle in his scar that usually meant Tom – no, Voldemort – was summoning one of his followers. Harry didn't even try to keep the bitter smile off his face.

"As you may have noticed, another student has joined us a little later than usual: Harry Potter. I trust you will all do your best to make him feel welcome. He has been… home-trained for the past three years, but we are glad that he is here with us at Hogwarts now."

Dinner appeared on the tables and Harry morosely pushed it around on his plate, forcing himself to take a few bites. There was no point in starving, even if he did feel more like throwing up than eating at the moment.

He felt the other Gryffindors' stares and finally could take it no longer; he looked up and glared back, only just refraining from snarling at them. His eyes met those of a pale red-headed girl; there were dark rings beneath her eyes. Ginny. When her brothers saw who he was looking at, they quickly placed themselves between Harry and her and Harry looked away. The girl next to him, a bushy haired girl with brown eyes, gave him a tentative smile.

"Hi, I'm Hermione Granger."

Harry looked back but didn't smile. "I know who you are," was all he said and he returned his attention to the food on his plate, slipping most of it to Sirius. They didn't try to talk to him again.

After dinner McGonagall lead them all to the Gryffindor dormitories, gave Harry the password to the Fat Lady's portrait, and showed him his room, his bed and his trunk with belongings. Harry stood staring at the bed and trunk for a long time after she'd left. The other Gryffindors were still downstairs in the Common Room, studying, or gossipping about him more likely. Sirius lay down next to his bed and whined, but stayed a dog thankfully, and Harry ignored him.

Here he was, at Hogwarts, a student. This was his life, the life that had been stolen from him. Harry laughed bitterly. It didn't feel like his life, it felt like he was the thief. This was not his bed. These were not his things. They belonged to the other Harry Potter, not him.

Finally Harry just climbed onto the bed, pulled the curtains closed and whispered a privacy charm. They hadn't given him his wand back yet, but he didn't need it. He lay there in bed, alone, lying on his back, for what seemed like hours. He listened to the other boys come into the room, their whispers, and he could feel their furtive glances at the bed he was hiding in. They got ready for bed, and soon Harry listened to their snores, he could hear Sirius' doggy snores and whimpering on the floor next to his bed.

He lay there, staring at the bed's canopy, not seeing it, and he tried to go to sleep. But the bed was too small, was too empty. He realised he hadn't slept alone for more than two years, first Nagini, then Tom too, and the last few months Severus as well. And before that, there had been Tom's journal under his pillow. But that was all a lie.

There was a faint tingling in his scar and Harry knew Severus had returned from Voldemort. He closed his eyes and turned onto his side, blinking away tears, desperately trying to fall asleep. It didn't work.

In the end Harry gave up and he carefully slipped out of bed. He whispered 'Somnus' to make sure neither Sirius nor his roommates would miss him and then rummaged around in the trunk at the end of his bed. He found the invisibility cloak just as he remembered it from his dreams of Wormtail.

He slipped out of the Gryffindor dorms and picked his way through the empty corridors to the dungeons. He knew the way; he'd dreamt it enough times over the past three years. Besides, he could feel the pull of Severus' dark mark in his scar. When he knocked on Severus' door the Potions master opened it and stepped aside as if he'd been expecting him. Harry only dropped the invisibility cloak after Severus closed the door behind him.

They stood opposite each other in silence for a while, until finally Severus looked away and gestured Harry to sit in one of the chairs around the fire place. Severus himself remained standing, resting his hands on the back of the battered couch; his movements were stiff and from his pale colour Harry could tell he must be in some amount of pain but there were no visible injuries.

"Does he know you helped take me?" Harry broke the silence.

"I'm not sure, although I think he suspects so."

"Did he harm you?"

"Voldemort was… upset."

"Did he harm you?" Harry asked again through gritted teeth.

"Not really. He was… rough, but nothing I could not handle, nothing he – we haven't done in the past. At the moment I am the only one of his followers who can get close to you, he doesn't want to lose that advantage."

"So. He wants me back." It was more a statement than a question and Severus sighed before he nodded.

"Of course he does."

"For what? Why would he want the Boy-Who-Lived, the very child who nearly killed him thirteen years ago?"

"Harry," and now Severus' voice was soft. "Whatever the Dark Lord did fourteen years ago, he does care for you now."

"That's rich, coming from you! You took me away from him, and now you defend him?!" Harry stood up and flung the invisibility cloak around his shoulders.

"Tell Voldemort to stay away from me. I want nothing to do with that lying, murderous bastard. I hate him and I hate you!"

With that Harry pulled the hood up and disappeared. Severus didn't stop him from leaving, didn't stop him from slamming the door behind him. Harry ran all the way back to the bed in the Gryffindor fourth year boys' room. He huddled under the blankets and tried not to think about how cold and empty the bed was.

Tom wanted him back. Voldemort wanted him back and he knew Voldemort stopped at nothing to get what he wanted. It was an oddly comforting thought, although Harry didn't know what he'd do if Voldemort succeeded in abducting him a second time. He finally fell asleep to those conflicting thoughts.