Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Spike or any other character......doesn't it just suck..
AN: Please feel free to flame cause this is a poor ass attempt at a songfic to bring Spike and Buffy together even after he's 'dead' well got killed off, damn writers how could they do that to our spike. hehe Okayy so im tired and this came to me through another sleepless night and took all of half an hour to write. enjoy if you can and review by all means.
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So this is who I am, And this is all I know, And I must choose to live, For all that I can give, The spark that makes the power grow.
Buffy slumped onto her rumpled, unmade bed desperately trying to give into sleep, too many nights she lay awake thinking, sometimes crying grateful for her life now free of the big fight, she wasn't the only chosen one now, so she could refrain from the sacred duties and live the life she oh so desired ever since she was 'called'.
The problem was there was only one thing missing that made her whole, six weeks today her loved one saved the world and sacrificed himself for the good fight.
Giving up her futile fight to sleep, she rolled out of bed grabbing the fresh flowers that adorned her bedroom and strolled out into the cool night air that fell comfortably around her.
Every week she found herself visiting his 'grave', even though there was no body or even ashes to lay to the ground the scoobies and herself felt compelled to give him a proper grave in his honor.
Now standing in front of the gravestone that was marked 'In loving memory of William 'Spike' Bennett. A lover a fighter but most of all our friend, no matter where you are, no matter what you are, we will always love you.' She placed the dark red roses that she grabbed from her room, onto his gravestone.
Engraved at the bottom of the stone were the marking of each of the scoobies names, including Xander's which made Buffy smile at the memory of Xander wiping away a tear that seemed to have betrayed his feelings.
She reached down and traced the love heart, made by her with her name in the center, bending over in emotional pain she lay upon the cold, wet grass on top of his 'grave' and sobbed loudly. As fatigue stepped in and quieted her cries she let sleep overtake her.
And I will stand for my dream if I can, Symbol of my faith in who I am, But you are my only, and I must follow on the road that lies ahead, And I won't let my heart control my head, But you are my only.
"Luv.......Luv wake up pet, this is no place to be sleeping." The Spike like voice flittered in her head. 'Spike?' 'Spike?!' 'OMG SPIKE!' She shot up off the wet grass and came face to face with Spike, a glowing Spike, but still Spike. She bounded forward to capture him in a hug but found herself going through him and landing with a soft thud on the otherside of him. "Owww" She whined. Spike chuckled slightly.
Standing up slowly she rubbed her sore eyes. "Spike, I thought you were gone, I thought you were dead." Her sore eyes were starting to tear up again.
He stepped forward as if to embrace her but knew he couldn't. "They allow me one trip, one.... short.... trip."
"Y.. your, not staying?! But you just got here and who are.... 'they', what do you mean they only allow one trip?"
"Pet, I haven' got long so you gotta' let me talk....... okay?" Off her nodd her began to explain to her what was happening. "No I'm not staying, I can't its against the rules, 'they' as you say are The Powers That Be, they allowed me to come here after I yelled some very obscene words for over ......well its seemed like about 6 years and then I twisted some arms and they settled for 10 minutes, which up there would be about 3 months, they'd be happy from my absence."
And we don't say goodbye, And I know what I've got to be
He took a deep breath, looking at her sad yet happy face which broke him in two. He watched her everynight for the past whoever long he'd been stuck in that glowing white cloud they called heaven. She was slowly loosing herself, not sleeping, hardly ever eating, she cried when she felt safe that she was alone to do it and not have the bombarding questioning of the other scoobies. And all this pain in her cause by him yet again.
He had yelled and screamed at the PTB demanding to see her in the flesh but they ignored him until one day they let him have his wish and here he was now, well he wasn't in the flesh but she was and that's all that mattered.
Immortality I make my journey through eternity I keep the memory of you and me inside.
He directed her to sit on a nearby gravestone while he sat upon his open. "Buffy, luv. I want you to let me go................ your not eating or sleeping and its killing you.....I'm killing you."
Fulfill your destiny, Is there within the child, My storm will never end, My fate is on the wind, The king of hearts, the joker's wild, but we don't say goodbye.
" No, no..... your not, its just that I miss you so much and everything hurts so much like its hard to breathe and I start to think, that's the part where you usually pop up and say something to piss me off and I forget about being sad, but your not here anymore and I........... you left me thinking that I didn't really love you when I do." The last part came out as a whisper and she lowered her head to hide her embarrassment.
I'll make them all remember me.
Spike seemed surprised by her confession of love, he knew of course but was hoping when she said it, back at Sunnydale when they had clasped hands and fire rained upon their fingers, that saying what he said would only soften the blow of losing another loved one.
Thunder striked out of a clear sky and he knew his time was cutting short. He reached into his glowing duster pocket and pulled out a gold necklace with a silver tear shaped shimmer on the end. He motioned for her to stand up and turn around she did so as she was in awe of the beautiful necklace.
Cos I have found a dream that must come true, Every ounce of me must see it though, But you are my only.
He placed the tear over her heart and gently clasped the necklace up at the back, she instantly felt better when the diamond touched her skin, wishing it was his hand. Buffy turned around unshed tears glistening in her bright hazel eyes. "This is something of me, from me, a tear I shed while up there, as so things like that are uncommon and as soon as it fell from my eye it formed into a diamond and here I give it to you as a token of my love........... I love you Buffy Anne Summers."
She gazed up at him and smiled. "I love you William Bennett, and thankyou I'll never take it off." Another lightening bolt streaked across the sky and she jumped.
I'm sorry I don't have a role for love to play, Hand over my heart I'll find my way, I will make them give to me.
"Uh pet that lightening bolt means that its time for me to go." He hated having to follow the rules but it was either return when called of be sucked back up there with as much pain as possible.
"Spike, I don't want to say goodbye, I hate goodbyes, after I say it your going to disappear and I'm never going to see you again." She swallowed painfully and glanced upward towards the heavens and then placed a hand over her heart and the necklace. "I still feel the pain a little bit."
He nodded in understanding. "Yeah I remember at first you were angry and then the pain came, and its still with you........but one day, your going to think of something I've said or done and you'll laugh........ instead of cry...................... I'm not going to say goodbye either..........instead I'm going to say I love you forever and I'll be seeing you later, alot later.."
Immortality There is a vision and a fire in me I keep the memory of you and me, inside.
"I love you too, and I'll be seeing you." She looked down at her feet then back up into his gorgeous, piercing eyes. "I wish I could just give you one last hug."
Spike glanced towards the sky while giving a silent request. When he looked down again, he slowly raised his hand to her cheek and instead of going through her he came in contact with her skin brushing her jaw with the back of her hand.
She did want to waste one more moment without being in his arms and jumped into his embrace with such passion and force that he stumbled backwards onto the grass still clinging her to his chest as if she was life itself, and to him she was.
As he started to fade into nothing his words echoed around her head and through out the graveyard. "Don't forget me." And just like that he was gone.
Buffy shot up right in bed. She just had the weirdest dreams about her and Spike in the graveyard and he was hugging her telling her how much he loved her 'Was it just a dream or was I really in Spike's arm's again' Something cold slid across her chest and she pulled out the tear shaped diamond that was attached to a gold chain. She sat in awe as she recalled the words of love spoken to her. 'It wasn't a dream, he was really here........... and he came from heaven.'
As morning crested over the horizon she knew that everything was going to be okay and she was finally happy, she felt his happiness.
And we don't say goodbye We don't say goodbye With all my love for you And what else we may do We don't say, goodbye.
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Okay you know how I love my reviews and please if anyone think its corny please tell me i can't write conry cause its also appears cheezy as well LOL This is the first fic out of all 8 of them ive written which ive actually finished so please applaud me LOL j/k.