Next time she comes to Amusement Park, it is Boris who accompanies her around.
When she inquires after the owner, Cheshire Cat just motions his hand in the direction of a large construction going on at the other side of the park.
"Old man is testing his new attraction. Been' doing so for last three periods"
Alice raises an eyebrow – she heard Gowland say before how he simply doesn't have time to make sure all the rides are totally bug-free.
"He tends to do it a lot lately", - Boris says, giving her a pointed look and Alice realizes it has been sometime since she last heard of any accidents in the park.
"I wonder why", - girl murmurs, when someone of the workers overhear her.
"Why Owner is so careful with his new attractions, you ask? Isn't it obvious? He doesn't want his precious guest to suffer in an accident!", - worker's voice is disturbingly loud and cheerful.
"Go back to work!", - Boris is clearly displeased with the interference.
"Come", - he tugs at her sleeve, - "Lets test the new tea cup ride"
As she is lead to the new attraction Alice can only wonder what kind of VIP guest Gowland expects to go to such lengths.
It takes her a couple of time periods to finally lose Boris and find her way to Gowland's residence.
Alice isn't sure why she doesn't leave the park as she told Boris she would; perhaps, Owner's absence bothers her more than she likes to admit, so here she is, inside his house, looking for him. She keeps an ear open for any suspicious sounds, but given who the owner is, the house is surprisingly quiet.
He isn't inside his study; his own room is also empty, his large collection of various instruments deserted.
Her legs carry her to the veranda on their own accord.
Her hunch is right, for he is, sitting on one of the linen-covered chairs, his long legs stretched, eyes closed.
Alice quietly comes closer. A little voice inside her head shouts at her to leave at once and let him rest, but she just can't do so without taking a good look at him first. It is such a rarity to see a sleeping face of someone as energetic and active as Park Owner.
He looks tired, Alice notices worriedly. His whole position suggests fatigue. His hands are folded across his chest, brows furrowed. For some reason even his braid looks tied too tightly as well. Unable to control the impulse Alice gently takes the elastics off , carefully undoing the braid, separating thick red strands. His hair feels much softer then it looks, she thinks, marveling at the color – rich fiery red. Alice lets it hung and takes a step back, seeing how the air get into it and feels as though something had been loosed in herself.
She can't help it when next she reaches to take his glasses off and put them on a table – just because she never saw Gowland without them. She is stunned when he chooses to open his eyes the exact same moment she leans to examine his face.
She has never been this close to Gowland before. As it happens she can't help but notice little things she never bothered to see until now. She marvels at how fine his facial features actually are. She wonders how it can be possible for such a red-head as Mary Gowland not to have any freckles at all.
But more importantly she finds herself drowning in his blue eyes. Glasses hide those blue pools of light, she thinks. Even lack of his trademark grin is not hampering his looks in the slightest.
Not fully realizing what she is doing Alice leans in and closes the remaining distance between their faces, until her lips touch his lightly. His eyes widen at her action, but before she can panic and pull away, Gowland captures her lips with his own, returning the kiss.
She is breathless when they break apart, but he doesn't let her collect herself – in a second he is up, towering over her. The gaze Gowland fixes at her is the most intense she ever saw him make.
Unable to take the pressure of his gaze a second longer, Alice blurts - "Do you like me?", just to inwardly cringe a second later at how terribly childish it sounded. She is not some schoolgirl! She doesn't want him to think of her as a child!
Mortified she can only stare at her red shoes.
"Yes", - his answer sounds heavy in her ears and the look he gives her is equably so.
He doesn't smile, she notices.
Alice feels doubts creep inside of her. Perhaps, he isn't happy about liking her? Or maybe she misinterpreted his 'yes'? Maybe he meant he liked her only as a friend? Could it be that he kissed her back just trying to be kind?
Apparently he noticed the change in her expression, because he cradles her face with his right hand and leans down until their foreheads touch.
"About damn time", - he breathes out, - "I thought you'd never ask"
"Would have never guessed", - she whispers back and he stares at her incredulously.
"After all this time? I thought it was pretty obvious. My workers constantly tease me about it"
Alice can't help but smile, remembering how devoted park workers are to their boss.
"They never said anything", - she assures him when a thought crosses her mind, - "Though they mentioned you're doing some safety tests on new rides for some VIP guest"
"And that didn't ring any bells?", - Gowland asks, his eyes surprised.
"Well, there are so many guests.."
"There is only one who is irreplaceable", - Park Owner responds, his hand traveling down from her face to take a hold of her hand.
"You can't be serious", - Alice can't believe what he is saying. So much trouble for her sake?!
"You bet I am!", - his eyes are intense again and the hold he has on her hand tighten, - "I can't risk your life"
Alice can only stare at him.
Gowland sighs at her shocked expression.
"I need to make sure your life is never endangered while you are here. After all, sometimes you take rides all alone"
"You don't need to..", - Alice manages to say.
"I have to make sure the one I love is safe in my domain"
Alice can only stare at him wide-eyed. Love? Did he really use the word love?
Gowland lets go of her hand and takes a step back.
"The real question is – how do you feel about it all?"
His tone of voice is different than usual – Alice only heard him use it once ages ago when he asked her what she thought about Boris liking her. She could shrug it off back then with ease. She isn't sure what to say right now.
Alice thinks that any other man she knows would try to maintain physical contact at such a moment. But Gowland only fixes her with an intense blue gaze of his, without making any attempt to shorten the distance between them.
He isn't Nightmare, but the girl feels herself out in the open under his gaze. Part of her feels like running away.
But this is Mary Gowland, Alice reminds herself. He will never hurt her. It is just like him not to rub it in her face that she kissed him just a couple of minutes ago, not to assume anything from it.
She looks at him and notices that for the first time since she met him, Gowland, ever nonchalant and joyful, looks somewhat vulnerable. Maybe because she took his glasses off and he doesn't bother to put them back.
Alice realizes that her silence is stretching out and he is being patient with her, though her lack of response clearly feels uncomfortable for him.
She owes him honesty, Alice thinks.
"I can be completely honest, right?"
"Honesty would be appreciated", - Gowland responds carefully.
"I don't know what love is anymore"
His expression changes into a pained one so quickly, Alice starts rambling in panic, trying to explain herself, - "You see I thought I was in love before with my tutor, but he broke up with me for my sister and I felt so horrible, but now I can barely remember his face! And my father loved my mother so much, he buried himself in work after she died and completely shut everyone out, and I don't know if I can ever love like that, let alone be loved like that. I don't understand what love is, I don't understand my own feelings.."
She goes on and on until he pulls her into an embrace, successfully silencing her.
His embrace is extremely comforting.
"I really want to understand what love is", - Alice whispers into his chest, - "Can you help me?"
Gowland looks down at her thoughtfully. At least, there is no pain written on his face anymore.
"I am not good with words, Alice, but let me try"
He lets her go, motioning at one of the chairs. Not knowing what to expect, Alice sits down.
For a minute Gowland is pacing across veranda, then he stops abruptly in front of her.
His face is deadly serious again.
"You are like a melody I can't get out of my head. When you are not around, time slows down. When you come over, time flies faster than a roller coaster"
"Time always flies here", - Alice says softly.
"It does so even faster when you come. Because all too soon it's over and you have to leave", - Gowland sighs, - "And I wish you never leave. From what you told me about your world, it seems you were very unhappy there, and all I want to do is to keep you happy and safe. I really wish you'd let me try"
She didn't tell him much about herself and he never pried, Alice remembers. Yet he seems to have grasped enough. With a start Alice thinks about everything she heard about Gowland from Julius and Boris, his own workmen and realizes just how much effort he was putting into what she didn't even realize was courting. Just like now when he is trying to find the right words for her, despite his own heart being on a line.
"It is my duty to ensure people are enjoying themselves at my domain, but sometimes I feel like closing the park up and entertaining you only, just to make you smile"
He runs his hand through his hair, apparently not noticing that its un-braided.
"I tried to put what I feel about you into music, but even my level of expertise is not enough for that".
This is for the best, Alice thinks and almost smiles at his chagrined face.
Gowland apparently catches her almost-smile, because he flashes her a little embarrassed grin.
"I guess this is it", - he states, looking her straight into face, - "Your turn"
"My turn?", - Alice repeats, dumbfounded.
Gowland shrugs. "It seems only fair, considering I just laid all my cards on a table"
She owes him honesty, Alice reminds herself again.
"No need to tense so much, Alice. Just tell me what you think of me. An honest opinion". His face is kind and his voice encouraging as if he is suggesting her to try a new attraction. How can he be so understanding when so much is at stake?
Alice takes a deep breath and starts speaking.
"When I am with you I feel completely at ease. You never ask me any difficult questions and you never try to force me to do anything"
Gowland nods curtly, motioning at her to continue.
"I never liked attractions before, but you taught me how to enjoy them. You were always there with me if any of them broke down too", - Alice straightens her back, recalling all those times Gowland had to catch her.
"With you around I find myself smiling and laughing more often. I like playing piano for you, despite me being a mere beginner"
"You're so much more than that", - Gowland murmurs.
Alice makes an impatient gesture with her hand.
"Of course I am not! You are just too nice to notice!", - after a pause she continues, her voice shy, - "Also at times I am afraid you consider me too young and childish"
Gowland's eyes widen. "Never thought that. On the contrary, I was always afraid you think me too old"
"Says the man who wears toy horses on his belt", - replies Alice dryly, when she catches herself, - "Never mind that"
He is about to say something, probably defend his apparel choices, when she continues, her voice more sure than before.
"I like seeing your grin, especially when you come up with some particularly good attraction, I like how kind and generous you are to those around you. I find it easy to rely on you"
When she speaks again, her voice is barely more then a whisper. "And I kissed you because I found myself wanting to"
Gowland gives her a long look, before smiling at her.
"You know, what you described sounds suspiciously like love to me", - he positively grins now.
Alice can only stare at him.
"And I have to confess I wanted to kiss you too for a very long time", - he leans closer to her, - "Perhaps, you won't mind if I do so now?"
Alice can only nod, mesmerized by his eyes and eagerness she sees there. The kiss Gowland gives her is different than before, deep and slow. Alice has never been kissed like that. Frankly, she doesn't want him to stop any time soon.
"How was that?", - he asks her when some minutes later they stare at each other breathless.
"I can certainly get used to it", - Alice says and she means it.