Surprise! Ya girl is still writing this story. Life has been a whirlwind and I know it's been literal years but I have always planned on finishing this story. We're getting to the good part now ;) Enjoy, my friends!
Riza paid no mind to the branches scratching her face or the biting chill enveloping her body. She could only keep running. Her lungs were ready to burst and sweat trickled down her forehead but she continued on. The scenery of the dense forest blurred around her but she had to keep going, going, going.
She needed an escape. She was running from not only her problems, but her own thoughts as well.
Once she got to the point where she could hardly take in any breaths, she finally came to a stop and leaned against a nearby tree, her knees shaking and her head spinning. She tried to empty her mind as the world around her blurred. She turned and rested her back against the scratchy bark, tilting her head to the sky as she attempted to forget.
Forget what she had just been told. Ignorance was truly bliss, after all.
Her breathing and the rapid beating of her heart began to slow as her thoughts wandered. She had finally started to get some of the answers she so long sought after, but now she was beginning to believe she should have been kept in the dark. What she now knew...the realization she had come to...it was all too much.
She tried with all of her strength to push away the idea that she had made a mistake.
"W-Wait...so you're actually telling me the Homunculi are the Republic!?" Riza's voice was strained and her hands were beginning to shake the more information Andres, her cousin, and the rest of them related to her. They all exchanged nervous glances but continued on anyway.
"Yes, Reina, it's true. The Cretian nobles seem to think they're pulling the strings but in reality...all the major Republic leaders are from the Homunculi clan. Their intentions are obvious. They want to destroy Creta and claim it for their own. And they want you and the Amestrian king out of the way when they do it."
The earth-shattering realization had made Riza's blood run cold. Not because it meant the war she had feared was truly forming, but rather that she had fallen into the Republic's trap without even realizing it.
Her legs finally gave out and she collapsed to the ground. Despite how undignified and childish it was, she hugged her knees to her chest and buried her head against her arms. She tried to focus more on taking deep, steady breaths than the panic that was quickly enveloping her.
She had always wondered what her role was in the Republic's schemes. Why had she been purposely (and rather obviously) brought to Amestris that first time? Why had her trusted bodyguard turned and betrayed her? Why had he let her live? Why had Roy never told her anything about this mysterious Homunculi group? Why had they drawn her in and made her believe they were the ones she should follow?
"So what...what does this all mean? They've clearly succeeded in separating Amestris and Aerugo. Does that mean they're going to make their move soon?"
Matthew sighed. "We had hoped we would have more time. We weren't expecting this so soon, and we certainly weren't expecting the entire treaty to dissolve. I don't know what they told you, cousin, but it's hard for any of us to know how true it is. It must've been as serious as you claim to bring you here."
Riza didn't know what to believe anymore. She had thought Roy (or really anyone in Amestris) would never have been capable of what had been done to the Homunculi, most of which she was inclined to believe was true. But what were Roy's true plans now? Where did this new conflict with Ishval fall into all of this? Was that Roy's doing or the Homunculi's?
Riza's hands went to the side of her head and she squeezed her eyes shut against the onslaught of questions. As usual, more information had only led to infinitely more uncertainty.
Most of all, and what was really causing the feeling of dread to explode within the frazzled queen, was the idea that Roy really wasn't as at fault as she was made to believe. She didn't want to think that seeds had been planted all throughout the course of their relationship to get them to where they were right now. To break them apart so harshly.
She didn't want to believe that there might be hope for some kind of salvage. It was too early for that. Too premature to actually believe someone finally wasn't lying to her.
She inhaled and exhaled deeply, fighting against the stinging sensation behind her eyes. She needed to think rationally right now. She had to rely on the few pillars of truth that still remained. The Homunculi were controlling the Republic. Regardless of whatever motivations were fueling them, they were a dangerous group who had caused upheaval with the atrocities they had committed in Creta. They at least had to be stopped from that, even though actions moving forward were uncertain. Riza had been manipulated to break both her relationship and her treaty with Roy. Most of his actions were probably still true, but the rabbit hole she had fallen into had been purposefully created for her. That much she couldn't deny. King Andres had been working on a plan since the start, and intended to take back Creta, with whatever allies that would follow him.
So the biggest questions remaining were, one, would Riza be one of those allies and two...would Roy?
After a few more steadying breaths she shakily stood to her feet. She wouldn't be able to figure this all out right away. There was clearly work to be done to prevent an all out war. Even if she wasn't sure who she was truly fighting against, she needed to focus on that task. She meandered back in the direction of the safehouse, fighting off a chill. She tried to keep her mind as blank as possible while she returned, needing even that small bit of respite.
It was dark when she finally returned. Only a few flickering lights remained in the windows of the safehouse, indicating that most people had gone to bed. She was sure whoever was on watch was still up, but she was thankful she could head to her room in peace.
Of course, nothing seemed to be favoring her lately, as she opened the front door and stepped into the main meeting room, only to find a far too familiar face staring back at her, calmly sipping some tea.
"Ah, I had wondered when I should go searching for you, Reina. It's late," Andres spoke in a nonchalant voice, though she could still hear the edges of concern.
She huffed sheepishly and closed the front door behind her. "I needed some time to myself."
"That's understandable," Andres affirmed before raising his mug of tea in a silent invitation to join him. Despite her exhaustion and trepidation, she gave a soft smile and walked to the table where he was, sitting across from him and enjoying the warmth the nearby fire provided.
Without a word, Andres grabbed another mug and poured the tea from the kettle. She sniffed indulgently as the steam misted across her face. After a small sip, she set down her mug and met Andres's deeply colored eyes.
"I'm actually surprised at how well you handled hearing everything. You've clearly grown since I last saw you."
Riza let out a bitter scoff. "Please, I ran away like a child."
"After everything you've learned, a lesser person would've gone mad."
"Who's to say I haven't yet?" she countered, ignoring the knowing look behind his eyes.
"You're stronger than that, Reina."
"Andres...I still don't know how you can speak so highly of me."
His smile grew at her words and he took a sip of his own tea. "Then we are more similar than I imagined. I still can't understand how you can even bear to speak to me at all."
Riza looked at the way his eyes became downcast and his posture closed up. The guilt flowing off of him was becoming more apparent, but the queen didn't see the point in any of it.
"I thought we already had this discussion. If you can see me highly after killing your son I don't see why I can't think the same of you after everything that's happened. It's resolved. Winry's safe and happy. We've both moved on."
Andres circled the rim of his mug with one finger, his eyes avoiding hers. "You may have."
There were many meanings hidden behind his words, and Riza wasn't sure which one she should focus on.
"Your cousin...he told me many things about what has happened since I left your land. I can understand that things have...changed." He continued to avoid her gaze but now Riza knew exactly what he was referring to. She stayed silent as he finally gathered the courage to meet her head on.
"I know about you and the Amestrian king and I can piece together what has happened to part the two of you well enough to bring you here. I suppose the only thing I don't yet know is…" Here Andres trailed off, as he internally debated whether this was something he even had a right to ask. Eventually, he threw caution to the wind and said the words they had both been thinking since they'd reunited aloud. "...do you still love him?"
Riza had been fully expecting this question. Despite her having debated this exact thought countless times over the last few weeks, she didn't hesitate to answer. "Yes."
Simple as that. No point in lying about it to herself or anyone else.
Andres nodded. "Do you still love me?"
Just as simple. "No."
Surprising her, Andres gave a knowing smile even as he hung his head slightly. "Here again, we are similar. We both are in love with people we cannot be with."
Riza's jaw clenched as he confirmed her exact suspicions. His statement was both enlightening and strangely cruel. He had never stopped loving her, even as she had stopped loving him. Riza was certain that as soon as she banished Andres and Sergio from Aerugo she'd never be able to love him again. She was also fairly certain he would not have the same sentiments.
And how accurate he was. He couldn't be with Riza and now she couldn't be with Roy. They had ended up in the same miserable state and the irony was not lost on either of them.
Her hands clenched around her mug of tea and now it was her turn to avoid his gaze. "What do you want to know?" He wouldn't have started this conversation without a reason. It was too painful for them both.
He sighed. "Not anything more than you're willing to tell me. I understand my place and thus can be nothing more than a listening ear, should you choose to use it."
It was shocking how much more mature than her he was. Obviously he had years to back him up but Andres was still a knowledgeable, fair, and just person. How he had come from a place normally ruled by people without any of those attributes was beyond her.
"I suppose there's not much to tell other than what's already known. I learned about the things Roy did and simultaneously came to the realization that I would not be able to marry him and keep my kingdom at the same time."
Andres lifted an eyebrow just as she realized what it was she'd said. "Marriage?" he questioned. "I don't think any of us realized it was that serious."
Riza's shoulders slumped, knowing it was pointless to try and cover it up. It certainly didn't matter what her relationship status had been in the past when it was nonexistent now. "We wanted to keep things quiet. Or at least I did. I needed time to figure out what I would do."
"And your choice was to give him up for your kingdom? I can't say I would've done the same."
Riza curiously met his eyes and wondered at the meaning behind them. "You're more of a people person than I am. You don't value your kingdom the way I do."
Andres tipped his head. "That is true."
The frayed queen let out of a breath of air. "Besides, it wasn't like Roy was faultless. He got so caught up in his dream for our future, he forgot himself at times. Forgot to treat me like an equal. Hell, you treated me fairer than he did at times."
"Oh now I know that's not true, Reina. He never would've done what I did." Andres's voice was low and took on a dark air. Riza wasn't having any of it.
"But that's just it," she countered in a quiet voice. "You didn't do anything. Not directly. I took out my anger on you and blamed your son's actions on you. Despite everything that happened you were always fair to me." Riza stopped as another thought occurred to her and her voice lowered to a whisper. "You claim you never stopped loving me. And yet, you never questioned my decision. You left Aerugo and never came back, even though I know, now more than ever, how painful that must have been."
Andres's eyes flashed, but he held her steady gaze. His face remained emotionless as he pondered her words. Finally, he spoke in an equally faint voice. "I am not as blameless as you claim, my sweet Reina. I can't even count the amount of times I tried to convince myself to fight for you. In the end it was cowardice, not strength, that kept me away. I can't ever claim to know the true nature of your bond with the Amestrian king, but I can guess...he's not going to be as afraid to fight as I was."
Riza's eyes instantly widened, thoroughly taken aback by his words for the first time since they'd started to talk. The confidence with which he spoke was shocking to her. He seemed so sure, even when she wasn't, that Roy would come back for her. Would do whatever he could to get her back.
Would do everything Andres hadn't done.
Part of her wanted to believe him, but she didn't know if she could.
The sound of approaching footsteps down the stairs broke their quiet conversation. They both turned to find one of the many nobles who had gathered in the safehouse, ready to take his position for nightwatch. He nodded to the two of them and Andres took it as his cue to leave. He stood to his feet, placing his mug beside the kettle on the table. "Looks like the time for me to sleep has come. You should get some rest too, Reina. Tomorrow we will take you to one of the camps we have set up for some of our spies and other allies. It will be a long day."
Riza merely nodded her head and watched as the former Cretian king ascended the steps to where his room was without another word. As the nobleman on nightwatch settled himself in, Riza paused to sort out her raging thoughts, finding it completely impossible to do so.
She waited a few minutes before resolutely standing to her feet and climbing the steps to her own temporary bedroom. As she passed by Andres's door in the dark hallway, she instantly paused, as if she was controlled by an outside force.
She didn't love him. She didn't know if she ever could again. But she couldn't deny she was still attracted to him. After everything, she could still see his positive attributes. And it was obvious he was more than willing given his own feelings. Why make them both more miserable by keeping to themselves in a stressful time when they could indulge with little consequences?
Before she could stop her movements, she had turned and walked up to Andres's door, her hand raised to knock on the old wood. Why keep herself from someone who could help ease her tension? Who could make her feel loved and appreciated? Who could, at least temporarily, give her the things she had been searching for?
Just as she was about to knock, she again stopped herself. Her body was frozen in place as her mind continued to race.
Despite what her brain was screaming at her, everything about this still felt...wrong. It wasn't even like she felt she was utterly betraying Roy but rather the idea of her being with Andres just didn't...fit. Like her mind was so settled in one space that even imagining herself in another one felt completely out of place. It was a startling realization to come to and Riza must have stood in the same position in front of the door for a few minutes as it washed over her.
Once her body finally willed itself to move again, she jerked her hand away and immediately straightened up. She shook her head and walked back down the hall into her room. What the hell had she even been thinking? A war was brewing and she thought her next best course of action was falling into the arms of a man she didn't even love, just because he loved her. It was insanity and she felt a chill run down her spine at the idea that she had even considered it.
She went to bed that night not knowing that King Andres had been leaned against the other side of the door, aware of her presence. Once he heard her footsteps walk away he sighed and smiled a bitter smile. "So her decision is made," he had whispered to himself in the empty room before going to sleep.
And that was that.
Riza attempted to keep her eyes open as the gentle bounce of her horse beneath her was lulling her tired brain into sleep. She shook her head for the umpteenth time, and focused on the other nobles surrounding her on horseback.
They had been riding for a few hours already, and still had quite a few to go, but the queen somehow felt as though they had been going all day. She wasn't sure if it was the general exhaustion that had been following her for the last few weeks, or the fact that she had barely gotten a wink of sleep last night. She didn't even know how long she had spent tossing and turning amongst her sheets. Her raging thoughts hadn't calmed down for a single moment since Andres, her cousin, and the rest of the group had relayed everything they knew about the current situation.
The idea that everything could very well be spiraling into an all-out war was enough to keep even the most removed person awake at night.
"How many of these camps do you have?" she eventually asked the calm man riding beside her, in an attempt to keep herself more awake.
"I think probably about...six or seven in total. We've been able to spread our allies out all along the Amestrian-Cretian border. We try to keep the numbers at each one low, so more pop up as allies join us."
"How many of these allies are Cretians?"
She could hear, rather than see Andres's knowing smile. "More than you'll believe, Reina. There are many cruel and unjust Cretians, but during my reign I was able to discover far more kind people. You don't need to worry about their intentions. They are just as invested in changing Creta for the better as I am."
Finally, Riza's eyes flashed to her right where Andres rode. He met her gaze confidently, rendering her temporarily speechless.
Eventually, she shook her head and looked back at the winding road ahead. "And from what Matthew and Grumman told me, there are a good amount of Amestrians and Aerugonians. It's a wonder that everyone has been able to get along."
"Kingdom allegiance means nothing when you share a common goal. Our intentions go far beyond taking Creta back from the Homunculi. We don't want to control our people, but rather change them. Change the way we govern and change the way the law, especially in Creta, favors certain people more than others. The Homunculi want a space to call their own, but they want to rule it. They've never had the ability to decide anything for themselves. They want to conquer and be strong enough so that not even Amestris can fight back."
Riza's eyes widened the more he talked, before he eventually met her shocked gaze with his usual calm confidence. "If we were to conquer them, we'd only be perpetuating the vicious cycle that allowed what happened to them. The root of the problem is not the Homunculi, but the system itself. And that system is present in all our kingdoms, Reina...whether you want to admit it or not."
Now Riza was truly speechless. She couldn't think of any possible response as she silently reflected on the way she ruled her own kingdom. If presented with a similar situation, would she have been tempted to do what Roy and his father had done? Had her own father abused his power against a lesser known portion of her people? He had always been open with her but as she had been realizing with stark clarity recently...everyone has their secrets.
She shook her head and continued on as they got closer to their final destination. It sounded nice, but bold idealism like what Andres believed in hardly ever worked. And, if this system was perpetuated in Creta, Aerugo, and Amestris, they would all have to work together to change it.
The queen gritted her teeth. She had just made getting the Amestrian participation immensely more difficult.
A few more hours passed in silence before a lone figure on a horse was seen in the distance. Once they drew closer to them, Matthew let out a shrill whistle before flashing them a peculiar hand sign. Eventually, she was able to see a man with blond hair similar in shade to her own smile and return Matthew's signal. He kicked his horse into motion and quickly approached them. "I'm glad you made it safely, my lord. Sir Cormac will be happy to see you."
"Yes, I'm sure," Matthew returned. "Go on and tell him we're coming...and that we have a very special guest."
The man on the horse nodded his head before turning to fulfill Matthew's order. They made the rest of the way to the small camp while Riza tried to wrack her brain for why the name 'Cormac' sounded so familiar.
As they approached the outskirts, Riza could see practically a whole village of tents ranging from small to rather large. A few people were gathered outside the entrance, no doubt to welcome them after receiving the go-ahead warning that they were coming. She was directed to drop her horse off at a makeshift stable, the other men with her doing the same.
As she turned and observed her welcomers, she noticed the way they appraised her. Lord Matthew clearly hadn't told anyone that the Queen of Aerugo would be coming with them today, and she wondered if she'd even be recognized. As Andres had described, there seemed to be a diverse mix of allies gathered in the camp, though she did notice as they walked through the entrance, that many bared features similar to her own.
Matthew stopped to greet a few of the patrons of the camp before leading them toward the large tent in the center. She watched in wonder as a few men widened their eyes in recognition before they smiled and excitedly spread the news. She said nothing as she heard a distinctive, "T-that's the queen!" coming from her right side. Someone exclaiming "Are you sure?" followed it as more people began approaching and watching their small group as they walked.
She caught a glimpse of Matthew's smile progressively widening out of the corner of her eye before she came to a distinct realization that filled her with a strange sense of pride.
While there was certainly diversity among the allies gathered here, the vast majority of them were most assuredly Aerugonian.
Her heart began to race as they gathered around her with beaming smiles and excited murmurings. It had been a long time since she had been surrounded by her countrymen. Even longer since anyone had given her a shred of the reverence these men and women were now. They knew what her presence here meant. They had all taken a leap of faith to follow after a foreign king with only a few members of the Aerugonian royal court to put their trust in. They wanted to be a part of the change Andres was preaching.
And they wanted her to lead them.
She felt an overwhelming sense of emotion well up from deep inside of her. She let her head swivel to look at the group, growing in number the longer they stood outside the main tent. Her eyes flashed quickly to Matthew, who returned her shocked gaze with a fond look. She had originally questioned his desire to show her one of the ally camps, but now she knew exactly why he had done it.
After all the uncertainty, all the unrest...she was among her people. People that trusted her and were loyal to her. She wasn't sure exactly what she had done to earn anyone's devotion, but it nonetheless gave her the most indescribable feeling.
Before she could dwell on her wonder any longer, the flap for the large tent they arrived at was pulled aside and an older man with graying hair and a kind smile emerged. He nodded his head at Matthew before his eyes fell on her. They widened in recognition before softening once he realized who had come to greet him.
With sure movements, the man bowed low before her, a large number of the others following his lead and doing the same. She was speechless as the man, who looked strangely familiar, spoke a reverent, "Your Majesty," in greeting.
The emotion grew within her as Riza realized she had spent so much of her reign not feeling the list bit royal. She had always felt so unworthy of her crown. And after what had just happened, she began to wonder why anyone would follow her.
She was sharply reminded of why she had made the decision that she had as she looked around. These were her people. And every single one of them was the reason she had held true to her father's promise to always put Aerugo first.
The man raised himself back up and flashed her another fond smile. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you here. We welcome you, Our Queen."
Reminding herself to keep her shoulders straight and not to let the emotion completely overtake her, she returned the man's greeting. "I thank you, Sir. It's been a long time since I've been amongst my countrymen. To see so many Aerugonians gathered here, for a good cause, makes me immensely proud."
She could practically feel Matthew and Andres smiling from beside her.
"I'm glad to hear that. My name is Sir Cormac, and I suppose I'm the immediate leader for this camp, under the direction of Lord Matthew...and yourself, of course."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir."
A twinkle appeared in Cormac's eyes at this. "Believe it or not, Your Majesty, you have met me before, but I look much older now than I did back then, so I can understand why you wouldn't recognize me."
Riza's face scrunched up in confusion as she recalled the familiar feeling of his name. She tried to remember when she had become acquainted with him until it abruptly hit her.
"Ah...yes, of course! Now I do remember...the noble archer, Sir Cormac. You were once on my father's court."
"A very long time ago. I retired when you were still just a little girl. I remember watching your poor father always try to contain you." Cormac gave a small laugh before continuing on, "He'd wrangle the rest of his court to try and help him, but it was always of no use. It makes me as proud as a father to see you here now, carrying his throne so well."
Riza's face softened as her vague memories began to resurface. "My father would use you as an example of an expert archer while I was being trained. He said I would only be a master of the skill if I developed even a small fraction of your abilities."
"And from what I've heard, you've achieved that. But you probably shouldn't boost my ego any more than you already have."
Riza's smile grew as Sir Cormac motioned for them to follow him into the large tent. "Come, you've no doubt been traveling for a while, you should have something to eat. We all would be honored to dine with our queen."
Winry's footsteps were determined and her eyes held every scrap of courage she could muster. Her stomach still roiled and the perpetual feeling of anxiety that had been lingering within her ever since she'd gotten the news of Riza's actions remained, but she wouldn't let that stop her.
Not when there was a very important and vital conversation to be had.
She approached the familiar doors leading into the room everyone had gathered in just the day prior and straightened her shoulders. She was not surprised to see two guards standing at attention outside the room, but she was ever determined to get her way so their presence might as well have been meaningless.
When she walked up to the guards, they eyed her warily before moving to block her entrance into the study. She lifted an eyebrow at the gall and placed her hands on her hips. "Step aside, gentlemen," she spoke, her voice unwavering.
They exchanged a quick glance before one cleared his throat and answered, "I'm afraid we can't do that, Your Highness. We're under strict orders to only let certain people into His Majesty's study...and you don't happen to be one of them."
Winry rolled her eyes. "Shocking. I understand that His Majesty wishes to mope alone but he owes me his time after throwing me into the dungeons."
Still the guards did not move. "An order's an order, Your Highness."
Putting every ounce of prim properness that had been drilled into her head since birth, Winry responded in a commanding voice, "You address me as such but still act like you can tell me what to do. Are you really going to go against the will of a princess?"
She could see sweat starting to form on both the guards' brows and resisted the temptation to smirk. "An Aerugonian princess," one of them clarified, trying to keep his voice neutral despite his rising apprehension. "The king has commanded for Aerugonians to no longer have the same protection and status here they once did. Your word is essentially meaningless, now."
Oh, he certainly was a brave one, she'd give him that.
"Ah, yes, the same king who also won't let me into his study, both of which are frightfully selfish and idiotic orders, wouldn't you agree?"
The guards said nothing as Winry continued in a menacing voice. "And aside from my position as a member of the Aeurogonian royal family, I also happen to possess a weapon on my person that I am very well-versed in using. And if the two of you truly believe you can go against me, who has been trained her whole life by the best swordmasters in all of Aerugo, with your three weeks experience in the Amestrian royal army, you really are as stupid as I originally believed."
A moment of stunned silence passed before Winry barged through the doors of the study, the two guards fumbling after her.
The study, only half picked up from its previous disastrous state, only had one occupant, who turned toward the loud interruption with a calm expression and a raised brow. He was dressed in a simple tunic and trousers with his sleeves rolled up, looking through a handful of research notes that had previously been strewn across the floor. He didn't seem even remotely alarmed by her sudden entrance. If anything, he looked as though he was expecting her.
"A-ah! We're terribly sorry, Your Majesty," one guard said in a panicked voice.
"We tried to stop her!" the other added desperately.
Roy's bored voice answered them, "And yet here she is."
In an equally bored tone, Winry spoke up. "If you were trying that hard to keep me out, you should've gotten someone other than the recruits fresh out of basic training to stand guard. These two look greener than the hills."
Roy sighed and set down the notes he'd been holding on a nearby table. "You may go back to your posts," he commanded the two guards who, after a quick moment of confusion, bowed respectfully before dashing out of the room, sensing the growing tension and grateful to have avoided the wrath of both royals.
Turning back toward the mess of his study, Roy said in a calmly resigned voice, "I suppose I wasn't trying that hard to keep you out."
Winry watched as he kneeled into a crouch and began gathering more notes into his hands. The room was silent as she let him work before she eventually heaved a sigh of her own and walked past him to the back of the study where the bookshelves were built. "Here, let me help you," she spoke quietly before leaning down to gather the books left haphazardly across the floor. She could feel Roy's eyes on her as she gently began placing them back on the shelves.
"You know, if I was a smarter man, you and the Elrics would still be locked away," he eventually spoke, which earned him a quiet scoff and a roll of her eyes.
"You mean a stupider man. Only a fool turns his back on his friends when he's in need."
"Only a fool trusts anyone that blindly," he countered.
Winry finished shelving the stack of books she'd gathered and turned back to look at the king, his attention focused on shuffling through the notes he'd picked up.
"Roy," Winry started in a low voice. He still did not turn to look at her but she kept her gaze steady as she watched him work. "I can't apologize for what Riza did. I can't explain away her actions in a way that's going to make you feel better. Hell, I can't even stand here and tell you everything's going to be okay because, truth be told, I don't know if it will be."
Mindlessly tossing his notes on the pile gathering on the nearby table, Roy's dark eyes met hers, his expression not giving away any of his true feelings.
"I know you're hurting. I am too. That pain we both feel sinks deeper and deeper with every passing minute and it's awful and all consuming and it hurts."
Roy's body froze at her impassioned words, but still his expression did not change.
"I can recognize what you're feeling...because I feel it too. But I can also recognize how badly that pain is blinding you."
She watched as Roy's jaw tightened and his eyes flashed. "Roy...you know I consider you a friend. Hell, half the time I consider you a brother. I still have faith in you. I have faith in Riza, too. I'm not going to let that pain make me forget what both of you mean to me. Pushing me away, pushing all of us away, is only going to make things worse."
It was silent a long moment after Winry finished her mini-speech with a breathless tone. They held each other's gazes, both fierce and unwavering, for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, Roy was the first to break eye contact as he turned back to pick up more papers. In the same calm voice he'd been addressing her with since she barged through the doors, he asked, "Did you only come here to tell me that?"
Letting the tension out of her strung-up body, Winry also returned to her previous task. As she gathered another stack of books she answered him, "No...you know what I really came here for."
They both did not stop their respective cleaning as Roy mulled over her response.
"What exactly do you want to know?" he eventually asked.
Returning even more books to the shelves, Winry sighed. "To be honest, I'm not really sure. I'm still having a hard time wrapping my mind around it."
"If you want a magical explanation that will absolve me, you're not going to get one."
Winry sighed, her eyes still not straying from her task. "I know that. No one should run from their mistakes."
Roy righted a nearby chair and reached underneath for the papers it had been hiding. "I'm surprised you still consider me a friend after knowing the truth about all that."
Winry shook her head in exasperation. "Just because you can't ignore your mistakes doesn't mean they're all unforgivable."
Roy couldn't help the scoff that passed through his lips as he stood to his feet again. "Clearly the Homunculi have a different opinion on that."
"It's not too late to do everything in your power to change that opinion."
"I couldn't change Riza's," he returned sharply, stopping to flash her a calculated look. She didn't shrink away from the heat of his gaze. If anything, she returned it with even more determination and fire.
She didn't have an immediate reply to his counter so she turned and walked further toward the back of the study. Her eyes almost immediately found the large chest still resting beside an open hole in the floor. She leaned down and observed the intricate sun designs on the outside of the chest. "So this is what Riza found? How did she know how to open it?" she curiously asked as she observed the way the three rows of suns were meant to act as a combination lock.
She heard Roy's footsteps approach from behind her, not taking her eyes away from the chest. "She pieced together things about myself I had told her throughout our time together. Part of the research I do centers around various metals and their interactions with fire." As he spoke, he kneeled next to Winry and softly ran his hands across one of the copper suns. "When you cover each one of them in salt and run a flame across, the flame changes color when it encounters the right metal. That then leads you to the combination."
"Clever. I'm impressed Riza was able to figure that out."
"As am I," Roy spoke in a lower tone than what he had been previously using. Winry turned her face toward him and watched his darkened expression curiously.
Turning her attention back to the empty chest, she asked, "What was inside?"
"Pretty much every vitally important document or scrap of information our monarchy had collected. Deeds to the kingdom, logs of evidence for the silencing of the Homunculi, and my father's journal. He had collected most of it during his lifetime and hid it in his own unique way. When he died, this was what I came up with for myself. I should've been smarter."
Winry stayed silent as his heavy words hung over the both of them.
"Roy," she eventually spoke in a quiet voice, "I can't speak for what's happened in the past. It's become apparent the Homunculi still need to be stopped, but after what happened to them the most important thing is changing all of our kingdoms so something like that doesn't happen again.
"You asked me what it was I wanted to know about that story. Truthfully, I think I've heard all that I need to. What I really want to know is this business about Ishval. From everything presented to me it's almost as if history is getting ready to repeat itself. What's even more worrying is that neither myself nor my sister knew anything about the conflict. I want to know exactly what your plans are. I need to know, Roy. This goes far beyond Amestris' personal affairs."
Surprising her, Roy let out a small smile and leaned back against his desk, his expression thoughtful. "You and your sister are different in so many ways...and yet you share one mind."
Winry's face scrunched up in confusion at his words, but she said nothing as he continued on.
"I have no doubt in my mind that was exactly what Riza was thinking when she found everything in this chest. Everything my father did to quiet the Homunculi has haunted me for years. When the unrest in Ishval looked like it was going to play out the same way, I became afraid. What my father had done was all I knew, so there was a time when I was planning on handling it similarly."
Winry became alarmed at his words and watched in surprise as Roy stood decisively to his feet. "At the bottom of the chest was the document I had made when I thought everything would come to a head. An executive command that would've taken the Ishvalans' land away from them and scattered them, just like what my father did to the Homunculi. I never signed it, but its existence is probably the biggest thing that drove Riza to do what she did."
Now it was Winry's turn to stand to her feet as she flashed Roy a sharp look. "If that was your solution all this time, why did you never sign it?" she asked, unable to keep the accusatory note out of her tone.
Roy's soft expression did not change and Winry marveled at him. "Isabella stopped me."
Winry's eyes widened at his words.
"She had lived in Creta during the time when most of the Homunculi had tried to settle down there. She knew much too intimately the atrocities the Cretians had committed against them. When she was coronated, she had to stand beside me as I swept the last of my father's decisions under the rug. I think she always felt partially responsible for the way things ended up. As the Ishvalan unrest continued to grow, it was her pleas that eventually got me to see how idiotic and cruel I was being. I kept the document after she died, in case things ever truly escalated to that point again, but through careful and meticulous work, we've been able to keep an all out war from breaking out.
"The situation in Ishval is certainly not solved, but the more I discover, the more convinced I am that the Homunculi and the Republic have played a part in that, as well. I don't have any intention of letting history repeat itself. I've been trying to get to the root of the conflict this whole time in order to peacefully solve it, but I was too afraid to let you or any other Aerugonian become aware of something you didn't fully understand. After what Riza did, I realize that was another one of my many mistakes."
Silence once again enveloped the room after the king finished speaking. Winry stared at him with a bewildered look, trying to wrap her mind around this new piece of information. He seemed determined to not repeat either his or his father's past mistakes, and part of her still trusted that he would succeed. She didn't feel quite as queasy about the state of affairs in the Amestrian kingdom after hearing its leader's words, but there was something else that was nagging her, and it only became more apparent after listening to Roy talk about Isabella's role.
"Okay...so let's say I trust you. I see that you feel a lot of regret about what happened to the Homunculi, and while you can never truly atone, you're already working to make sure something similar doesn't happen again. If all of this goes to where we think it will and we see Riza again, you can explain those things to her. And I believe she'll listen...but there's something I'm still missing."
A knowing look flashed across the king's face and he turned to face her head on again. "Riza certainly has grounds to question Aerugo and Amestris's treaty after hearing about the Homunculi. And if she thought you were going to do the same to Ishval, that would be even more of a reason."
Roy said nothing as Winry continued. "My sister is young and, yes, inexperienced but she is fair and just. If that was all that was going on here, she would've confronted you about it...but she would've done it at a negotiation table. She would've confronted your court...she would've consulted with her own court. She wouldn't...she wouldn't have just run away."
Winry's voice became more desperate and pleading as she spoke, and Roy watched her with a quietly guarded expression. "What my sister has done...it makes her seem unhinged. This is not how she handles things. I can still hardly believe it! Stealing your kingdom's deeds is a personal attack, Roy. And I can't for the life of me understand it."
"You can't?" he eventually countered in a curiously level voice.
Winry tilted her head in confusion at him so he continued on in a quietly charged tone. "You can't think of anything that would've pushed her over the edge? She never told you...her beloved sister...anything about her relationship with me that would've led to, as you called it, this kind of personal attack?"
Winry's jaw clenched once she realized what he was trying to get at. It was a fair accusation, to assume Riza had revealed at least part of her true feelings to her sister at some point...as she had, in a way. But the blonde princess certainly couldn't claim to know all of it. That was something only Roy and Riza were privy to.
"I know...some of the things she was feeling. She relayed to me plenty of doubt, especially after you became engaged, but that's as much as I was aware of. That still doesn't explain everything."
Roy let out a calming breath and walked toward one of the couches in his study. He plopped down atop it heavily and Winry followed after him, sitting where she could face him directly.
"As you would expect, I've been unable to think of anything else since this all began. The things Riza told me before she made her escape keep replaying in my mind. I can see parts where I royally screwed up and I can own up to that...but I'm also having a hard time believing that…" here the king paused and shook his head, like he was also trying to wrap his mind around everything that had happened. "You speak of doubts. Doubts that I never...not even once...was told about. I feel blindsided by them. Perhaps if I knew what it was she felt, I wouldn't have been so...blind."
Winry kept quiet as he spilled his heart out to her.
"I had no reason to believe Riza wasn't as all-in as I was. I believed she was just as excited...just as ready. Looking back I can see where some of the things I said would hurt in ways I couldn't imagine."
Roy ran a hand through his messy mop of hair and continued in a strained voice, "In my mind it was easy, but that was an incredibly selfish way of thinking. I never truly realized what Aerugo meant to her...what being the queen of Aerugo meant to her. And I feel sick to my stomach when I think of some of the things I told her."
"Roy," Winry finally spoke in a soft, yet adominishing voice. "When has Riza ever been anything but fiercely loyal to her kingdom?"
"Loyal, yes, but patriotic? Winry, she's spent practically half of her reign here in this kingdom. With good reason, to be sure, but when she was here I never got to see exactly how she ruled. I saw her negotiate. I saw her research and plan, but I've never seen how she is around her people and her court. The only Aerugonians I've seen her even speak to are you, your cousin, and her guards. It always felt like...and I hate that I'm even saying this knowing how angry she would be with me, but it always felt like Riza was a placeholder."
Winry's eyes widened at this but she kept her mouth decisively shut.
"Yes, I know that sounds selfish as hell, you don't have to tell me. But I'm not the only one who thinks that way. If you put them up side by side, it would be safe to assume that Lord Matthew has done far more of the actual governing work than Riza has."
Winry wanted to fire back at that. She wanted to defend her sister and her abilities but she knew it would only fall flat. Here, Roy was actually telling the truth.
"I don't say these things because I doubt Riza's ability to rule. I know she's incredibly intelligent and strong and capable. Though I haven't seen it firsthand, I believe you when you call her fair and just. But, until this point, myself and essentially everyone else I know of assumed Riza's reign would only be temporary. Once more people became aware of the nature of our relationship, that idea was even further perpetuated. Why stay with a throne she only partially controls when she could have all of Amestris at her fingertips? You would be here. I would be here. It made logical sense.
"What I want to know is what I'm missing. You know something about her relationship to her kingdom that no one else does. I believe that if I had been told that I would've acted differently. I know I would have. I wouldn't have just assumed she'd be ready to hand over her throne and come live here as easily as you would have."
Winry looked away from him and fidgeted her hands together in her lap. She was grateful to Roy for baring all his deepest thoughts to her, in an effort to get her to better understand what had been going through his mind since Riza's betrayal had been discovered. She knew he deserved an explanation, but she wasn't sure how much of what Riza had told her and what they had experienced together she should even tell him. Many of these things Riza kept fiercely private. And even still there were things that not even Winry was aware of.
She sighed and carefully chose her next words. "Riza has never, in the entirety of her reign, believed it to be temporary, Roy. I will tell you part of what I know and about how Riza came to the throne in the first place, but you must understand that some things only she can tell you."
Roy nodded his head and motioned for her to continue.
"Riza knew, probably from the moment she realized she was in love with you, that her position in Aerugo would be an insurmountable barrier for your future happiness. She never told me the true nature or entirety of her plans, but she's spoken to me multiple times about trying to come up with a compromise. She knew as soon as you proposed that she wasn't just going to give up her throne. I'm sure the way you were acting toward her recently only helped affirm that thought, but it's not like it came up out of nowhere."
Roy's jaw clenched, but he allowed her the same space to speak that she had given him.
"I can't apologize for her, but I always thought it was horrible she never told you. So much of this could have been avoided if she had just been honest. She was worried that she wouldn't be able to explain herself and you would just take it as a rejection.
"She wanted...no, she wants to marry you, Roy. If you think any of this has made her fall out of love with you then you're a fool. But since the very beginning, she's been in an incredibly difficult position. Right before our father died, he chose to give the throne to her. He made her promise to him on his deathbed to always make Aerugo her top priority...after me."
Here, Winry had to pause as the memory of that horrible moment played through her mind. She took a steadying breath and continued on, "He told her...h-he said that she had to promise to always put Aerugo above all else...even above her own happiness."
She watched as Roy's eyes widened in shock. She nodded her head at him. "Yes, I was just as horrified. But Riza agreed to that promise, and it's probably hung over her head the entirety of her time ruling."
It was silent a long while as Roy was no doubt processing everything Winry had told him. She tried to repress the memory of her father's death as best she could, but it was difficult. Everything about this conversation was difficult, but it had to be done. They would never be on the same page if they didn't explain the entirety of their respective sides.
"You can see now why your offer of marriage was so difficult for her. She's been trying to come up with a solution but it's almost impossible at this point."
Surprising her, Roy leaned forward and hung his head in his hands. "Gods...the things I said to her. She must've thought...she must've thought I expected so little of her. I had no idea…"
Winry simply nodded her head. "I can see how your excitement about the future of Amestris would've been taken as you completely discounting her throne."
Roy rubbed his forehead and took a deep breath. "Gods...I've been such a fool. She probably thought I wanted to make her a trophy wife."
"That's the other thing about Riza," Winry added thoughtfully. "She has so much pride. Pride in Aerugo, pride in herself, and pride in me. But she has plenty of bad pride, too. She'll never be that kind of queen, Roy. I can guarantee you that."
He shook his head. "I wouldn't want her to be. I just...I focused too much on myself. And now look where we are."
The defeated tone of his voice tugged at Winry's heart. "It's not too late."
Roy sighed. "You keep saying that like it's easy."
"Of course it's not going to be easy. That doesn't make it impossible. You both have misunderstood a lot about what's happened. And Riza's ties to her throne are difficult to overcome but she even told me once herself...it's not all black and white. Compromise is possible."
Leaning back against the couch not looking the slightest bit encouraged, Roy flashed his dark eyes back to her. "We have bigger things to think about first."
Knowing what he was referring to and replaying the conversation with Lord Hughes and Ling from the day before, Winry straightened herself and asked, "Have you made your decision in regards to...all of that."
With a peculiar look on his face that Winry struggled to interpret, Roy nodded his head. His voice didn't betray any of his emotion as he replied, "Yes, I have. Everything that's just happened has taught me what I want Amestris's role to be in all of this."
"And?"
Surprising her, Roy let a soft smile cross his face. "Something tells me you're not going to like what I have planned."