I sat down next to Lori. If I had to do this, at least I'd hang around near Lori. She'd protect me from these people. Or something. To be honest, I knew they were probably all very nice people, but I was terrified.
"So, we have a new Group member today. Her name is Ashley. Would you like to say anything about yourself?"
"Yes. Yesterday I beat Doctor Steve at his own game."
Laughter broke out for a few seconds.
"So, you're the girl who slept under the stairs all night. I heard about you. I'm impressed," some girl I didn't know said. "By the way, I'm Stacy."
"Wow," I thought to myself. "People know who I am."
But then the girl who started Group began talking again. "Why don't we all introduce ourselves? I'm Becky. I work here as a Group leader."
"I'm Lori," Lori told me, like I didn't know. "I'm here because I'm scared of clowns."
"Lori," Becky warned her.
"Clowns carrying food," Lori clarified.
Everyone went around and introduced themselves, and it was clear they were taking this a lot more seriously than Lori was. They all seemed to want to impress me with why they were there. There were two bulimics, three druggies, two suicidals, and Lori, the only anorexic. I wasn't impressed. Stacy, however, seemed like someone I could get to like. She introduced herself as Stacy, goddess of the universe, and told me she had 'illusions of grandeur'. Becky broke in and told me that Stacy was actually there she had bulimia, but at least I was amused for a moment.
"So, Ashley, why are you here?" Becky asked me. This lady was already starting to bug me, and I couldn't quite put my finger on why.
"You mean besides the fact that my hamster is trying to eat me and I needed a safe place to hide? Because I cut."
"Ooo, can I see?" asked a moron named Jane who was in there for bulimia.
"For a dollar." I told her, mostly joking. Then she handed me a dollar.
"Now can I see?" she asked.
"You took to long to pay me, the rate's gone up another two dollars," I told her.
That's when Becky stopped my freak show charging. "Ash, give her money back."
"Fine, but don't call me Ash. My name's Ashley, and I don't want you calling me by a nickname."
"Fine."
"So, are you going to show me or what?" Jane asked me after I had given her money back.
"No. I wear long sleeves for a reason, and I'm not going to parade my illness around like its some sort of trophy. I'm not proud of it, and I'm certainly not going to show it off to any of you."
"You know, I think maybe you should show us, Ashley," Becky told me. "Er, as part of the healing process and all you know."
I wasn't an idiot. I knew she was just curious. So I told her no.
"I don't think you understand. I'm in charge here. Unless you want me to talk to Doctor Steve about reassigning your room, I suggest you listen to what I say," Becky demanded.
There is nothing I hate more than being commanded to do something. But I know when to pick my battles, and this one definitely wasn't interesting enough to get a good argument going. So I gave in. I rolled up my sleeves on both arms, about up to my elbows. There wasn't anything really interesting above that anyways, and I didn't want them to know that I cut up and down my entire arm.
There was a gasp from quite a few people. I suspected they were a little shocked at the most recent cut. It was just starting to heal, and I ad only just been allowed to keep my band-aid off of it. The only people who weren't shocked were Lori and Stacy. Even Becky's eyes got a little big at the sight of my arm.
"So Ashley, why don't you tell us why you cut?" Becky suggested.
"As fascinating as I am, this is not the Ashley hour. This is Group. I will not answer anymore questions from you that are not directed toward the entire Group."
"Well, it doesn't really matter anyways. Our time is up today. You may go." Becky stood up, and the rest of us followed suit.
"Hey Ashley," Stacy said, catching up to me.
"Call me Ash," I told her.
"But I thought you told Becky you didn't like nicknames."
"No, I just told Becky I didn't want her calling me by a nickname. That's completely different. You, on the other hand, may call me Ash."
"Ok Ash, I just wanted to tell you that it's nice having another decent person in Group."
"Hey Stacy," Lori began, hesitantly.
"Yeah?"
"Would you, uh, would you like to eat with Ash and I today?" Lori asked. I was shocked. Lori didn't even like to eat in front of me, and here she was, inviting Stacy! Not bad. Maybe she was running on a sugar high from that cake, I don't know.
"Sure. Sounds good to me. Want to come up to my room until then? We might have to put up with my roommate though."
"Then why don't you come up to my room," I suggested.
"I take it you don't have an awful roommate," Stacy said.
"Nah, she's awful, but since she's going to be eating with us anyways, it probably doesn't matter," I told Stacy, poking Lori in the arm.
"You two are roommates?? Lucky."
"Yeah well. Are you coming or not?"
"Coming, coming," Stacy laughed, following us.
"So, we have a new Group member today. Her name is Ashley. Would you like to say anything about yourself?"
"Yes. Yesterday I beat Doctor Steve at his own game."
Laughter broke out for a few seconds.
"So, you're the girl who slept under the stairs all night. I heard about you. I'm impressed," some girl I didn't know said. "By the way, I'm Stacy."
"Wow," I thought to myself. "People know who I am."
But then the girl who started Group began talking again. "Why don't we all introduce ourselves? I'm Becky. I work here as a Group leader."
"I'm Lori," Lori told me, like I didn't know. "I'm here because I'm scared of clowns."
"Lori," Becky warned her.
"Clowns carrying food," Lori clarified.
Everyone went around and introduced themselves, and it was clear they were taking this a lot more seriously than Lori was. They all seemed to want to impress me with why they were there. There were two bulimics, three druggies, two suicidals, and Lori, the only anorexic. I wasn't impressed. Stacy, however, seemed like someone I could get to like. She introduced herself as Stacy, goddess of the universe, and told me she had 'illusions of grandeur'. Becky broke in and told me that Stacy was actually there she had bulimia, but at least I was amused for a moment.
"So, Ashley, why are you here?" Becky asked me. This lady was already starting to bug me, and I couldn't quite put my finger on why.
"You mean besides the fact that my hamster is trying to eat me and I needed a safe place to hide? Because I cut."
"Ooo, can I see?" asked a moron named Jane who was in there for bulimia.
"For a dollar." I told her, mostly joking. Then she handed me a dollar.
"Now can I see?" she asked.
"You took to long to pay me, the rate's gone up another two dollars," I told her.
That's when Becky stopped my freak show charging. "Ash, give her money back."
"Fine, but don't call me Ash. My name's Ashley, and I don't want you calling me by a nickname."
"Fine."
"So, are you going to show me or what?" Jane asked me after I had given her money back.
"No. I wear long sleeves for a reason, and I'm not going to parade my illness around like its some sort of trophy. I'm not proud of it, and I'm certainly not going to show it off to any of you."
"You know, I think maybe you should show us, Ashley," Becky told me. "Er, as part of the healing process and all you know."
I wasn't an idiot. I knew she was just curious. So I told her no.
"I don't think you understand. I'm in charge here. Unless you want me to talk to Doctor Steve about reassigning your room, I suggest you listen to what I say," Becky demanded.
There is nothing I hate more than being commanded to do something. But I know when to pick my battles, and this one definitely wasn't interesting enough to get a good argument going. So I gave in. I rolled up my sleeves on both arms, about up to my elbows. There wasn't anything really interesting above that anyways, and I didn't want them to know that I cut up and down my entire arm.
There was a gasp from quite a few people. I suspected they were a little shocked at the most recent cut. It was just starting to heal, and I ad only just been allowed to keep my band-aid off of it. The only people who weren't shocked were Lori and Stacy. Even Becky's eyes got a little big at the sight of my arm.
"So Ashley, why don't you tell us why you cut?" Becky suggested.
"As fascinating as I am, this is not the Ashley hour. This is Group. I will not answer anymore questions from you that are not directed toward the entire Group."
"Well, it doesn't really matter anyways. Our time is up today. You may go." Becky stood up, and the rest of us followed suit.
"Hey Ashley," Stacy said, catching up to me.
"Call me Ash," I told her.
"But I thought you told Becky you didn't like nicknames."
"No, I just told Becky I didn't want her calling me by a nickname. That's completely different. You, on the other hand, may call me Ash."
"Ok Ash, I just wanted to tell you that it's nice having another decent person in Group."
"Hey Stacy," Lori began, hesitantly.
"Yeah?"
"Would you, uh, would you like to eat with Ash and I today?" Lori asked. I was shocked. Lori didn't even like to eat in front of me, and here she was, inviting Stacy! Not bad. Maybe she was running on a sugar high from that cake, I don't know.
"Sure. Sounds good to me. Want to come up to my room until then? We might have to put up with my roommate though."
"Then why don't you come up to my room," I suggested.
"I take it you don't have an awful roommate," Stacy said.
"Nah, she's awful, but since she's going to be eating with us anyways, it probably doesn't matter," I told Stacy, poking Lori in the arm.
"You two are roommates?? Lucky."
"Yeah well. Are you coming or not?"
"Coming, coming," Stacy laughed, following us.