Disclaimer:
Summary: After the events of Seeing Red, Spike left for Africa. He got rid of the chip and he never came back.. Buffy doesn't have it any better. One of Willow's spells gone wrong caused Buffy to become immortal. Now she has to deal with the loneliness of immortality.
A/N: This is a Spuffy fic. so please have some faith in me, it'll be a while before all the pieces of this story fit into place. This story will have angst. consider yourself warned. I also rated this story R for the language and some of the content. It could be PG-13, but I don't want to risk it. And I know the title is dumb, but I couldn't think of anything else.
I want to apologize for my long hiatuses between updates. I've gotten really busy with school, and I guess school has to come first. And that's sad. Seriously though, I'm going to do my best to get chapters done quicker. I just need to find the time.
I'd like to thank my best friend Fearless for supporting this story. She wanted to see Spike redeem himself chipless and soulless. And so that's what I'm giving her. Hope you like it, babe.
Chapter 4 ~ Tomorrow is a New Day ~
Buffy smiled at Willow as she entered the kitchen. She weakly smiled back, sadness still lingered in her eyes. Slowly she shuffled to a nearby chair, grasping the table as she eased herself into it.
"I hate getting old," Willow mumbled. She despised each new ache in her body, the signs of old age. Buffy just nodded solemnly and placed a plate of newly made pancakes in front of the bitter woman.
"Pancakes in funny shapes!" Willow chuckled at the enthusiasm in Buffy's voice. Buffy sat down next to her with her own plate, and the aroma reminded them of happier times. Willow finished pouring the maple syrup and quickly dug in with her fork. Buffy continued smiling that fake smile she had come so used to wearing. But anyone who knew her could still see the melancholy hidden in her murky green eyes.
"He was ready to die, you know? He wanted it to come." Buffy looked up and met Willow's eyes. They shared a pain filled gaze before Buffy broke the connection. She brought a fork-full of pancakes to her mouth.
If only things could be the same.
*~~~*~~~*
~ Desperation. Love. Hope. He needed her. He knew that she loved him. He knew that she knew it too. He skipped the stairs two at a time, then he reached the top.
The bathroom. Her bathroom. From outside the door he could hear running water. He turned the door knob, letting himself in. He wanted in. There was so much pain, hurt.
He tried to prevent her from crawling away. He couldn't let her get away. She's hurt. Tears. He needed her. Taste her. Touch her. Fuck her. Obsession. Love.
Anger on her face. Anguish. Disgust. Dread. Hurt. She hurts. He felt her push him off and across the room. Sorrow. Run away. Far away. A monster can't love. ~
Spike's eyes opened with a snap. The dark room covered him like a blanket and the cheap motel bed was stiff under his back. He looked down at the red hair of his bed partner, her cheek pressed against his chest. 'So much for forgetting about Buffy ,' he thought to himself. He lifted his left hand to his face and rubbed his sleep filled eyes. He knew he'd have to get up soon, which also meant he'd have to leave Michelle. He didn't want a relationship, but he didn't want to hurt her either. At least he still had a little time left before she woke up.
*~~~*~~~*
The piece of paper felt like it was burning Buffy's hands. She felt the implications of this paper wash over her. It crushed her; made her ache.
Buffy Anne Summers 81 years old. Died on February 23rd. She survived by her younger sister and close friends. She will be missed
It was surreal. You weren't supposed to be alive to see your own death, obituary, funeral. That just isn't the way things happen. After breakfast, Willow had presented her with the obituary that she had written a few days earlier. Now it was actually happening. Tomorrow was Buffy's death-day. She laughed bitterly and set the page down on the table.
She knew her supposed death was logical, in a weird and twisted way, but still logical none the less. At least now the government wouldn't be suspicious of her never ending life and, on the plus side, she wouldn't have to pay taxes anymore. Her friend's families would help her pay for anything that she needed. And then, eventually, she'd find her own way of making money without causing too much trouble for herself. Willow had done a good job of helping her plan it all out.
She looked down at the obituary, and her stomach turned and twisted. Her hands shook as she removed the paper from her sight. Before long she'd have to write one for Willow too. Another life lost, another soul finding release. She stood on weak knees and left the room. She couldn't deal with death anymore, or at least not for the rest of that day. But tomorrow is a new day.
*~~~*~~~*
Michelle woke up to find Spike pacing back and forth in the small hotel room. Her face showed surprise, she didn't think that he'd still be there in the morning. She pulled the sheet from around her waist to wrap around her upper body, just below her arms.
"You're going to make yourself dizzy if you continue pacing." He stopped to look at her.
"Is that an old wives' tale that I haven't heard of before?" His scarred eye brow rose, his lips quirked in amusement.
"No," she giggled, "I was just trying to get you to stop because it was making me dizzy." Spike chucked and sat next to her on the bed.
"Fair enough. But would it be all right if I asked you a question?"
"Ask away."
"Was your grandmother's name Willow?" Michelle frowned slightly.
"Why would you ask me a question like that?"
"Does it matter?"
"No, I guess it really doesn't. Neither of my grandmother's names were Willow. One was Mattie and the other was Laura."
"What about your mother?"
"You're a very strange person."
"Just humor me."
"My mother's name is Angela. Is that all you wanted to know?" Spike's hear sunk a little.
"Yeah luv, that's all I wanted to know. You better get dressed, your mates are probably worried about you."
A flash of disappointment clouded her face before she pulled down the sheet, revealing her nude body. She stalked around the room, retrieving the clothing that had been shed the night before. She looked over at the bed, and her eyes settled on the enigma of a man that was stretched out on the bed. His naked body looked like a nearly unmarred sculpture. All the scars made him real.
"So, I'll see you around?" She asked hopefully, daring to look into his bottomless ocean blue eys.
"Probably not luv. But I'll never forget what you did for me."
"And what did I do for you that you didn't do for me?"
"You made me feel alive again. I haven't felt that way in a long time. You've made me want to go home again."
"Where is home? Is it where Buffy is?" His face looked shocked and confused. When his mouth opened to talk she explained, "you talk in your sleep. Good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for." She gave him a sad smile, turned for the door and left.
He laid on the bed a few moments longer, searching for some semblance of inner peace. He looked out the window to see the glow of the newly rising sun lick the tip of the horizon. His pulled his clothes on back over his body, ready to race the sun home.
He dropped the room key off at the front desk and ran to the cover of his car to avoid the newly risen sun rays. When he got back to his apartment he packed a few things, the things that mattered the most to him. His essential things for existing.
He noticed that the sun had fully risen and he wouldn't be able to make it to his car without burning to a crisp. He sighed and collapsed on his bead and slept the rest of the day away.
Tomorrow everything would change.
*~~~*~~~*
darklover: Hope you liked the chapter. And I don't really like the idea of Spike being with any of Willow's relatives either.
wolf116: I have a coat similar to Spike's too. Though it is actual leather. (I love Value Village) It is way too big for me, but I still love it. I got it for about 12 dollars. And while writing this chapter, I didn't even notice that I had made Michelle's friend look like Buffy. I actually had my friend Fearless in mind when I chose that description for the character. *shrugs*
Ashleigh: *blushes* You're comments make me all happy. ;) I'm glad I'm not the only one who loves angst. Sorry that this chapter took so long to be posted. I got wrapped up in school work. When mid-terms are over I might be able to find more time to write. *crosses fingers*
~~ I appreciate reviews *hint* *hint* That, and they'll get me motivated to procrastinate on more important things and write this story. ;) ~~
Summary: After the events of Seeing Red, Spike left for Africa. He got rid of the chip and he never came back.. Buffy doesn't have it any better. One of Willow's spells gone wrong caused Buffy to become immortal. Now she has to deal with the loneliness of immortality.
A/N: This is a Spuffy fic. so please have some faith in me, it'll be a while before all the pieces of this story fit into place. This story will have angst. consider yourself warned. I also rated this story R for the language and some of the content. It could be PG-13, but I don't want to risk it. And I know the title is dumb, but I couldn't think of anything else.
I want to apologize for my long hiatuses between updates. I've gotten really busy with school, and I guess school has to come first. And that's sad. Seriously though, I'm going to do my best to get chapters done quicker. I just need to find the time.
I'd like to thank my best friend Fearless for supporting this story. She wanted to see Spike redeem himself chipless and soulless. And so that's what I'm giving her. Hope you like it, babe.
Chapter 4 ~ Tomorrow is a New Day ~
Buffy smiled at Willow as she entered the kitchen. She weakly smiled back, sadness still lingered in her eyes. Slowly she shuffled to a nearby chair, grasping the table as she eased herself into it.
"I hate getting old," Willow mumbled. She despised each new ache in her body, the signs of old age. Buffy just nodded solemnly and placed a plate of newly made pancakes in front of the bitter woman.
"Pancakes in funny shapes!" Willow chuckled at the enthusiasm in Buffy's voice. Buffy sat down next to her with her own plate, and the aroma reminded them of happier times. Willow finished pouring the maple syrup and quickly dug in with her fork. Buffy continued smiling that fake smile she had come so used to wearing. But anyone who knew her could still see the melancholy hidden in her murky green eyes.
"He was ready to die, you know? He wanted it to come." Buffy looked up and met Willow's eyes. They shared a pain filled gaze before Buffy broke the connection. She brought a fork-full of pancakes to her mouth.
If only things could be the same.
*~~~*~~~*
~ Desperation. Love. Hope. He needed her. He knew that she loved him. He knew that she knew it too. He skipped the stairs two at a time, then he reached the top.
The bathroom. Her bathroom. From outside the door he could hear running water. He turned the door knob, letting himself in. He wanted in. There was so much pain, hurt.
He tried to prevent her from crawling away. He couldn't let her get away. She's hurt. Tears. He needed her. Taste her. Touch her. Fuck her. Obsession. Love.
Anger on her face. Anguish. Disgust. Dread. Hurt. She hurts. He felt her push him off and across the room. Sorrow. Run away. Far away. A monster can't love. ~
Spike's eyes opened with a snap. The dark room covered him like a blanket and the cheap motel bed was stiff under his back. He looked down at the red hair of his bed partner, her cheek pressed against his chest. 'So much for forgetting about Buffy ,' he thought to himself. He lifted his left hand to his face and rubbed his sleep filled eyes. He knew he'd have to get up soon, which also meant he'd have to leave Michelle. He didn't want a relationship, but he didn't want to hurt her either. At least he still had a little time left before she woke up.
*~~~*~~~*
The piece of paper felt like it was burning Buffy's hands. She felt the implications of this paper wash over her. It crushed her; made her ache.
Buffy Anne Summers 81 years old. Died on February 23rd. She survived by her younger sister and close friends. She will be missed
It was surreal. You weren't supposed to be alive to see your own death, obituary, funeral. That just isn't the way things happen. After breakfast, Willow had presented her with the obituary that she had written a few days earlier. Now it was actually happening. Tomorrow was Buffy's death-day. She laughed bitterly and set the page down on the table.
She knew her supposed death was logical, in a weird and twisted way, but still logical none the less. At least now the government wouldn't be suspicious of her never ending life and, on the plus side, she wouldn't have to pay taxes anymore. Her friend's families would help her pay for anything that she needed. And then, eventually, she'd find her own way of making money without causing too much trouble for herself. Willow had done a good job of helping her plan it all out.
She looked down at the obituary, and her stomach turned and twisted. Her hands shook as she removed the paper from her sight. Before long she'd have to write one for Willow too. Another life lost, another soul finding release. She stood on weak knees and left the room. She couldn't deal with death anymore, or at least not for the rest of that day. But tomorrow is a new day.
*~~~*~~~*
Michelle woke up to find Spike pacing back and forth in the small hotel room. Her face showed surprise, she didn't think that he'd still be there in the morning. She pulled the sheet from around her waist to wrap around her upper body, just below her arms.
"You're going to make yourself dizzy if you continue pacing." He stopped to look at her.
"Is that an old wives' tale that I haven't heard of before?" His scarred eye brow rose, his lips quirked in amusement.
"No," she giggled, "I was just trying to get you to stop because it was making me dizzy." Spike chucked and sat next to her on the bed.
"Fair enough. But would it be all right if I asked you a question?"
"Ask away."
"Was your grandmother's name Willow?" Michelle frowned slightly.
"Why would you ask me a question like that?"
"Does it matter?"
"No, I guess it really doesn't. Neither of my grandmother's names were Willow. One was Mattie and the other was Laura."
"What about your mother?"
"You're a very strange person."
"Just humor me."
"My mother's name is Angela. Is that all you wanted to know?" Spike's hear sunk a little.
"Yeah luv, that's all I wanted to know. You better get dressed, your mates are probably worried about you."
A flash of disappointment clouded her face before she pulled down the sheet, revealing her nude body. She stalked around the room, retrieving the clothing that had been shed the night before. She looked over at the bed, and her eyes settled on the enigma of a man that was stretched out on the bed. His naked body looked like a nearly unmarred sculpture. All the scars made him real.
"So, I'll see you around?" She asked hopefully, daring to look into his bottomless ocean blue eys.
"Probably not luv. But I'll never forget what you did for me."
"And what did I do for you that you didn't do for me?"
"You made me feel alive again. I haven't felt that way in a long time. You've made me want to go home again."
"Where is home? Is it where Buffy is?" His face looked shocked and confused. When his mouth opened to talk she explained, "you talk in your sleep. Good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for." She gave him a sad smile, turned for the door and left.
He laid on the bed a few moments longer, searching for some semblance of inner peace. He looked out the window to see the glow of the newly rising sun lick the tip of the horizon. His pulled his clothes on back over his body, ready to race the sun home.
He dropped the room key off at the front desk and ran to the cover of his car to avoid the newly risen sun rays. When he got back to his apartment he packed a few things, the things that mattered the most to him. His essential things for existing.
He noticed that the sun had fully risen and he wouldn't be able to make it to his car without burning to a crisp. He sighed and collapsed on his bead and slept the rest of the day away.
Tomorrow everything would change.
*~~~*~~~*
darklover: Hope you liked the chapter. And I don't really like the idea of Spike being with any of Willow's relatives either.
wolf116: I have a coat similar to Spike's too. Though it is actual leather. (I love Value Village) It is way too big for me, but I still love it. I got it for about 12 dollars. And while writing this chapter, I didn't even notice that I had made Michelle's friend look like Buffy. I actually had my friend Fearless in mind when I chose that description for the character. *shrugs*
Ashleigh: *blushes* You're comments make me all happy. ;) I'm glad I'm not the only one who loves angst. Sorry that this chapter took so long to be posted. I got wrapped up in school work. When mid-terms are over I might be able to find more time to write. *crosses fingers*
~~ I appreciate reviews *hint* *hint* That, and they'll get me motivated to procrastinate on more important things and write this story. ;) ~~