H.O.T.: Heroes Of Time
By OracleVortex
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Disclaimer: I own zip. Nuthin'. Nadda.
I was bored and in a quirky, lack of sleep type of mood. It's also done half in script mode and in story mode. Plenty of randomness as well. Meh.
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You see a girl, in her mid-teens, wearing a pair of flared denim jeans and a white tee bearing the Canadian flag across the chest. She grins and waves at you.
"Hi! I am the author of this fic! I was totally suffering from lack of sleep when I decided to write this, which is probably why it's not all that funny." She shrugged. "Oh well. Anyway, I've decided, like any good author, that I would host a game show for H.O.T."
Crickets chirp.
OracleVortex rolls her eyes. "You know…Heroes Of Time?" Still nothing. "Didn't any of you read the title?"
Random person: No.
"Fine. Then I will get on with it." She pulls out a remote control and presses the blue button. A tacky game show set rolls out, and thin music leaks out of a two-cent speaker. "Welcome to H.O.T!!! Let me introduce you to today's contestants!! If you please, Mr. Announcer!"
Crickets make a lame attempt to chirp.
OracleVortex looks around. "Mr. Announcer?" Silence. "Hmm. I guess I don't have one." She shrugs. "Oh well, that can be remedied." Lifting her remote, she presses the green button.
Random person: OH NO!! NOT THE GREEN BUTTON!!! THAT SUMMONS ORACLEVORTEX'S WIERD FRIENDS!!!!! RUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!
OracleVortex rolls her eyes. A swirling green vortex appears next to her, and tosses somebody out. Then it vanishes with a 'blip.' The person stands up. You now see a blonde guy in his mid-teens, wearing a swirly rainbow coloured shirt and cargos.
The dude: Whoa….trippy!
OracleVortex smiles at him, waving. "Hi!" She turns back to her audience. "This is my buddie, but to protect his identity, I will call him Draken. He will be my co-announcer for the evening."
Draken: Why Draken?
OV: You know why.
Draken: {Thinks about it} OH! I get it!
Chibi Planeteria: {Appears out of nowhere} I don't.
OV: How'd you get in here?
CP: I'm an author on FF.Net. I can pop in whenever I want.
OV: Can everyone do that?!?
CP:{Shakes her head} Nope. Just the ones who know you personally.
OV: Whew…
Draken: Uh, why am I here, again?
OV: OH! Here!
OracleVortex hands him a sheet of paper, which he reads over for a moment. He nods and then gives OV the thumbs up. OV hands him a microphone, and he smiles winningly at the audience, standing in the spotlight.
Draken: {In announcer's voice} With pointy ears and blue eyes, this guy thought he was a Kokiri until he took a 7-year nap and woke up twice his original size! Welcome the original Hero of Time…………………Link!!!!
Second spotlight appears, green in color, and Link steps out from curtain number one, dressed in blue. OV, getting bored with the introductions already, pulls out her remote control and fast-forwards. Everything sounds like chipmunks as Draken announces Rauru, Ruto and Zelda. OV puts everything back to normal time.
Draken: …And our last contestant, a survivor of the 7 year war, two-time winner of Harp and Lyre Competitions, and the most under-rated character around, give a big cheer for Sheik! Last of the Sheikahs! {Looks at OV} Sheik? But he's Zelda! Well, actually, Zelda's him!
Suddenly Draken is being beat on by two people; Zelda and Sheik.
Zelda: How dare you talk about my brother like that!!
Sheik: I have feelings you know! My OWN!!
OV: (In horror) Stop beating on him!!
{You see Draken. He twitches.}
Draken: Ow…
Chibi Planeteria: {Shakes her head} Poor Da—er--Draken…he's not used to the fan fiction universe yet…
OV: Are you still here?
CP: Yeah…I got bored. Can I play too?
OV: Err… {Looks around} Have you even played Zelda before?
CP: No.
OV: Well…that might be a problem.
CP: {Shrugs} Meh. So can I?
OV: Um…okay…
{Another player podium slides in. Chibi Planeteria takes her place.}
Draken: Alrighty then… {Shuffles the cue cards that appeared out of nowhere} The first round will be a general knowledge test. If you know the answer… {pauses} Um…
OV: Shout out 'Beep!'
Rauru: 'Beep?'
Draken: Correct. Now, first question…
CP: Ooh! {Wave her hand in the air} I got one! Why don't we have real buzzers?
OV: Couldn't afford them. {Shrugs} You know Canadian money…
Draken: ^__^;; Getting back, now… First question: What is Link's sword called?
CP: BEEP! Excalibur!
Draken: Sorry, but no.
Link: Uh, beep?
Draken: Yes?
Link: The Master Sword
Draken: Judges?
{There is a low murmur in on the judges panel} "WRONG!"
Link: WHAT?
Sheik: Beep.
OV: {Smiling at the Sheikah} Yes?
Sheik: What is the Master Sword?
OV: That is right! Ten points!
Link: WHAT?!?! That's what I said!
Draken: Sorry, but you did not answer in the form of a question.
Link: You didn't say that we had to!
OV: But we didn't say that you didn't have to do it either!
Draken: Judges?
Judges: DENIED! In favour of Sheik!
{Link pouts}
OV: Next Question: What color do Zoras turn when you choke them?
Rauru: BEEP! I say blue!
Draken: WRONG! They are already blue!
Rauru: So? They turn bluer!
CP: Is bluer a word?
OV: {Shrugs} Spell check didn't catch it, so it must be…
Zelda: Beep, what is red?
OV: WRONG!
Link: BEEP! What is green?
Draken: WRONG!
Sheik: Beep. What is violet?
OV: {With sad eyes} Sorry, but no…
CP: What is pretty rainbow with sparkly glitter?
Draken: Do you even know what a Zora is?
CP: No.
Draken: ^__^;;;;
Ruto: Beep. What is pink?
OV: Nope. You're all wrong.
Everyone: Then what is it?
{Draken and OV look at each other}
OV: Err…
Draken: Well…
CP: You don't know, do you?
OV: Nodda clue.
Draken: Sorry.
Ruto: I think that since I am a Zora, I should know the answer and I should get the points!
Draken/OV: Judges?
Judge #1: Sounds good to me.
Judge #2: Me too. Are we all in agreement?
Judge #3: Yep. Ruto gets the points.
Ruto: Yes!
OV: Ten points awarded to Ruto.
Draken: Next question: Who was Shiro?
Link: Beep! Who was one of the carpenters in Gerudo Valley?
OV: Hey, we're asking the questions here, buddy. Do you know or not?
Link: Yes. He was one of the carpenters in Gerudo Valley.
Draken: Sorry, but that is incorrect. You did not answer in the form of a question.
Link: O.o? Uh, I did the first time…
OV: No. No you didn't.
Link: Yes I did!
OV: NO YOU DIDN'T!
Link: YES I DID!!!
OV: JUDGES???
{Judges whisper among themselves} "Link is awarded points."
Link: P
OV: {Muttering} Ten points. Final first round question: Who is cuter; Sheik or Link?
Rauru: I will not answer that question!
Link: I think we all know the answer to that one…
Sheik: Yeah…me…
Link: Um…NO.
Sheik: Um…YES.
Ruto: Beep! Who is my beloved?
OV: I don't know, but I guess that's Link, right? WRONG!
CP: {Looks at Link and then at Sheik} Ah…Beep?
Draken: Answer?
CP: The dude with the red eyes?
OV: Correct! Fifteen points! {Consults her clipboard.} And ten points to Zelda to being related to Sheik. Twenty to Sheik for guessing that it was him.
Link/Ruto/Raruru: WHAT?!?!
CP/Zelda/Sheik: Yeah!
Draken: {Looks at his watch} As much fun as I am having, I want to go home. Can you send me back? It's getting late.
OV: {Looks at her watch} Hmm. I guess it is. Oh well. We'll have to continue this tomorrow…see ya later, peeps…
OV pulls out her remote control. Pressing the red button, and vortex appears and sucks Draken in. It blips away.
OV: Do you need a lift home?
CP: Nope. I have authoress powers, remember? {She snaps her fingers and vanishes}
OV: What about the rest of you?
{Zelda is climbing into a blue jewel thing with Rauru and Link. Ruto dove into a pool, and only Sheik was left alone.}
OV: Hello handsome…you can come to my place…
{Presses the red button and she and Sheik are swallowed up in the vortex}
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Hee-hee-hee! If only I could take Sheik home with me! *Sigh* oh well…
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