Chapter Three: Lightning Round!!!

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Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda in remotely anyway. As always, Draken and Chibi Planeteria are real/based on real people, so you can't go stealing them. And you can't steal me either…I'm OracleVortex, if you forgot.

Enjoy!

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Cracking her knuckles, OracleVortex suddenly gets the urge to write some more H.O.T. After completing five chapters of other OoT stories, she feels that it is a welcome change. Grabbing her remote control and stuffing it into the pocket of her cargoes, she sticks a Canadian-made visor on her head and heads out of her resort room. On the way by, she knocks on two other doors.

OV: Let's get a move on, boys!! It's game time!!

Draken: {Appears, Gameboy in hand} Yes! Another jewel!!

OV: Still playing Four Swords?

Draken: Yeah, but the single player thing, not the actual four swords stuff.

(A/N: I have the game too: I love it!! *grumbles* I'm always the red Link when I play, tho. I wanna be the blue one!!)

Sheik: {Appears in a flash of light} Hello…what's this?

Draken: Zelda for Gameboy.

Sheik: Cool! Am I in it?

Draken: Uh…no.

Sheik: Darn it.

OV, rolling her eyes, presses fast forward. Everything is warp speed as she and the two guys exit the building, she turns it to a game show set, summons the judges, audience and players, waits for Chibi Planeteria to arrive in a pink puff of smoke, takes her place at the announcer's podium and then bops herself on the head for writing such a long run on sentence.

OV: {Rubs her head} Ow.

Draken: …Yes, I will buy a red shield for lots and lots of ruppees.

OV: {Bops him} Stop playing! We have a game show to run here!

Draken: All right, all right….sheesh. {Puts the Gameboy on sleep mode} Shh! It's sleeping!

OV: {Rolls eyes} Okay…Welcome to….

Audience: H_O_T!!!! HEROES OF TIME!!!

OV: I am your hostess—

CP: Where's the cream filling?

OV: What?

CP: Hostess…where's the cream filling? {laughs}

OV: {throws a banana at her head} Very funny. I'm your hostess, OracleVortex,

Draken: {Muttering} Damn like-likes, curse your long tongue-like appendages!

OV: Quit playing the Legends of Zelda!!

Draken: FINE! {Pouts} And I am your host, Draken! The third round will be a…

(Dramatic Pause)

Draken: LIGHTNING ROUND!!!

{Lightning strikes in the background.}

OV: The goal is to answer rapid-fire questions as quickly and as correctly as you can. Let's recap points! In the lead is Sheik, with 40 points!

Sheik: {Smirks at Link} HA.

OV: …In second place is Chibi Planeteria with 20 points!

CP: {Claps hands} YAY!

OV: In third is Link with 20, and Rauru, Ruto and Zelda all are in fourth with 10 points apiece.

Link: Wait! If I have the same amount of points as CP, why aren't we both tied for second?

Draken: Ladies first.

Link: What? Judges!

The Judges mumble and grumble for a moment. "It is well known that ladies…are first. OVERRULED!"

Link: I CAN"T WIN!!!!

OV: {Whistles innocently} First question, and feel free to shout out at random; What color bricks does a blue house have?

Ruto: Blue!

Draken: What color bricks does a yellow house have?

Zelda: Yellow!

OV: What color bricks does a red house have?

Rauru: Red!

Draken: What color bricks does a green house have?

Link: Green?

OV: WRONG!!! A greenhouse is made of GLASS! And seeing how this is a LIGHTNING round, you will be struck by lightning!

{A massive bolt of lightning strikes down upon Link.}

Link: AIEEE!! {Twitches}

Draken: That was kinda mean.

OV: Meh. Five points to Ruto, Rauru and Zelda. Moving on…

Draken: Second question, if I'm driving a school bus that has four people, and six more get on, how many passengers are there on the bus?

CP: Ooh! Ten!

OV: Correct! If five more get on, and three get off, now how many are there?

Zelda: Twelve.

Draken: Correct! And if seven get off and sixteen get on, now how many are there?

Rauru: Um…Twenty-one?

OV: Correct, if three get on and none get off, how many are there now?

Ruto: Twenty-four.

Draken: Correct. Finally, what is the name of the bus driver?

Everyone looks around blankly. The name of the bus driver? How the hell are they supposed to know that?

Sheik: It's Draken, because at the beginning of the question, you said that you were driving.

OV: {Dabbing her eyes} He's so smart.

Draken: It doesn't make sense, tho, considering I don't have my drivers yet…just my learners. {Looks pointedly at OV}

OV: SURE! RUB IT IN, WHY DON'T YA? {Pouts, cuz she has to wait five months till she takes the class P} Ten points to all who answered a math related question, and fifteen to Sheik, cuz he was paying attention.

Everyone but Link: Whahoo!!

Link: {still frazzled by the lightning} Uhhh…

OV: Okay, final questions: What's one plus one?

CP: TWO!

Draken: Right! What's two plus two?

Zelda: Four.

OV: Correct! What's four plus four?

Link: {Back to almost normal} Eht. {Tries again} Eight.

Draken: Right! What's eight plus eight?

Ruto: Sixteen.

OV: Correct! What's sixteen plus sixteen?

Sheik: Thirty-two.

OV: Correct! {Smiles} Finally, what was the first thing that I asked you?

Rauru: Um…What's one plus one?

Draken: WRONG!! The first thing that she asked was "What?"

Everyone: What?

OV: Yes. When CP interrupted with 'where's the cream filling?' I asked 'What?"

Draken: Five points for all correct answers, and since Rauru got the question wrong….

{Lightning flashes in the background}

Rauru: OoO!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

OV: {laughs evilly} MUHAHAHA!!!

{Lightning strikes Rauru)

Rauru: AIEEEE!! {Twitches and falls over. He doesn't move again.}

CP: Um…I think that you may have overdone it.

OV: ^_^;;;; Whupps.

Zelda: {Shakes her head} This isn't good.

OV: Why not?

Zelda: {Going into telling a legend mode} This is a tale that has been passed down through the Royal family for many a millennia… It is said that when The Sage of Light, goes to the light, then the seal on the door of time will be broken. {Nods solemnly} Only the Hero of Time can stop the evil Ganon when he breaks free from the Sacred Realm.

{Everyone turns to look at Link}

Link: What? I have to fight him yet again? {Crosses his arms} This wasn't in my contract.

{A dude in a navy silk suit pops into existance beside OracleVortex)

Dude in a Navy Silk Suit: I do believe that it was. {Whips out a contract written in green pen} "I, Link, Hero of Time, Honorary Member of the Kokiri, yadda. yadda…do here by sign this form, entitling me to play on H.O.T, sell my soul to OracleVortex, and fight Ganon if Rauru dies and the Door of Time opens." {Puts the paper away} It's all right here.

Link: Who are you, anyway?

DIANSS: I'm OracleVortex's lawyer. You may call me Bob.

Ruto: Bob?

Bob: Yes. Bob Weodibaebiizaboi. Do you have a problem with that?

Ruto: Um…no… {Backs away}

OV: So…now what do we do?

Link: {sighs} I guess I have to fight Ganon.     ….         Wait a second…OV owns my soul?!?

OV: {whisltes}

Draken: YEAH! I beat the third dark world boss!

(Everyone stares at him}

Draken: {Hides his gameboy} Um…what did I miss?

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There ya go: actual conflict. Heh. Next Chapter is the bonus round: Run by the king of evil, Gannon, his self!

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