I think about her, worry about her more than I imagined I ever would….
And that frightens me.
Loid's room was colder than mine, but I didn't mind; at least it felt a lot safer than my old room. Loid and I transferred everything in the middle of the night, and then utterly exhausted I made my way to bed, drifting into a dreamless sleep until sometime later. A muffled noise woke me up- I was acutely aware of every sound in that apartment now. Still hazy, I rolled onto my back to stare warily up at the ceiling and listened for anything else. My mind became more awake, though frightenedly so, at another faint rustle.
Sitting up in bed now, I pulled off the covers as silently as I could and hopped onto my feet. Putting on a dressing gown, I tiptoed over to the door. There was no light on outside in the hall and I couldn't hear anything anymore. Just to be sure, my ear pressed up against the wood of the door- nothing. But I had heard something I was sure, so with a little hesitation, I turned the doorknob to crack it open a peek.
Imagine my awe and astonishment when I found Loid there! He was sitting on the floor, leaning up against the wall right beside my door. He wore his pyjamas, but he looked as if he hadn't slept a wink that night. The way he gazed up at me too revealed that he wasn't surprised to see me standing there, speechless by my own discovery. Neither of us said anything right away, letting our eyes lock onto the other. My jaw hung open, his did not….. His face was fairly calm actually, relaxed and contemplative. He looked so beautiful just then….. The way he glanced up at me.
"It's so late. What are you doing up?" I couldn't think of anything better to say; I'd never been in such an odd situation like this before. Odd, but good….. His grin was small and pensive, but authentic. "Heard a noise outside and couldn't get back to sleep," his voice was low and attentive. "Outside?" There was a hint of worry peppered in my tone. How could I not be worried, after tonight's events? His head gave a little shake and he shut his eyes. "There's nothing to worry about. It was just a cat." "Oh…" His grin widened a tad. "You must be tired. Why don't you go back to bed?" Back to bed….? My eyes widened.
"W-What about you? Are going back to bed?" My husband tore his face away from mine, looking to the wall across the hall now. A pregnant pause ensued as his grin vanished; something was clearly on his mind. "I'll go…. when I know for sure that it's safe." "But it is safe," I retorted gently, trying to ease his worries. He didn't respond, but still kept his eyes on the wall. My hand rose up to my pounding chest; my heart was beating so fast suddenly I thought I might faint.
I get it- he's worried about me. That's why he's sitting out here…. outside my new room. He wants to be close by….. should anything happen again. My lips parted a sliver in amazement. Loid….
It was his turn to appear surprised when I sat down in the hall beside him. My husband blinked to me confused, but I met his expression with a warm smile. "I'll sit here with you," I explained. This only served to perplex him more, as shown in his face. "Aren't you tired though?" "Yes, but so must you be. Why should you stay up while I sleep?" He frowned, unimpressed by this apparently flawed logic. "You don't need to do that. It's my job to look after you, Mrs. Forger, not the other way around." My heart skipped an extra-large beat. His job to look after me….. Oh, Loid. There's no way I'm leaving him now. To prove this, I got all comfy in my place right beside him, grinning to myself and stretching my arms.
"I don't mind, really. I wanna stay here…. if this is where you'll be," I said and he frowned again. This clearly wasn't going how he had expected, which was charming in its own way. Eventually he relented, rolling his eyes and letting his head fall back a little. "Very well, if you insist….." "I do," still smiling ear-to-ear, I wrapped my arms around my legs so to hug myself. I felt Loid side-eying me once more, making me so incredibly happy. Yes, this is where I feel safest- here at his side. Feeling very comfortable now, I let my eyes drift shut and my shoulders relax. My contented smile remained for the rest of the time I was conscious. I smiled and shut my eyes…
Not wanting to be anywhere else in the world in that instance.