The Fall of The Phoenix

by IfIOnlyWereAWeasley

Books 1-3. In the course of a single night, Phoenix Potter goes from leading as normal a life as the daughter of Harry and Ginny Potter can have to being a central figure in the brewing war. With gods, prophecies, and a whole new type of magic at play, Phoenix must learn to navigate exactly the sort of world that her parents have always fought to protect her from.

33. Stained Glass

Part Three: To the Fiery End

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Chapter Thirty-Two: Stained Glass

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Sometimes, bits and pieces of seemingly unconnected events can come together in ways that make or break someone.

Abruptly, you realize that you've been standing with your nose up against a wall, and it's only when you step back that you realize that the blur of green you've been focusing on is the branch of a tree, which is one tiny part of the forest painted on the massive landscape you've been staring at all along.

Perhaps a better analogy would be glass. It was as though, throughout my life, I had been collecting random shards of glass. Rarely did I have any idea why I was doing so, and more often than not I found the pieces being handed to me, but I diligently continued gathering them until one morning I woke up and realized that I had collected all of the bits needed to craft a fantastic stained glass window.

It took me a long time to discover how all of the pieces fit together, for some were more obvious than others. Still, so long as I finished the picture in time, all would be well for the rest of the world…

...the thing to remember about glass, however, is just how easily it shatters.

---

For the second night in a row, I awoke knowing that I hadn't gotten enough sleep. Jay had already banned me from our morning run after yesterday's exhaustion, so I had fully planned on sleeping in. That plan was further solidified when Freddy and I spent most of the night being awoken by one another's nightmares.

I was heartbroken to discover that Freddy had been revisiting the attack most nights while he slept, his terrors likely only made worse by what I had revealed to him last night.

Still, when I slowly blinked my eyes open until I could make out the clear blue gaze of my twin brother, the apology clear in his expression as he waited for me to fully wake up, I knew that I would not be sleeping in. James was crouched by the side of the bed, his arms folded across his knees as he offered me a patience that I hadn't realized my brother possessed. He offered me a small smile when I freed one hand from the sheets to tap him lightly on the nose.

"Do you want to take a walk with me?" He asked very softly.

In the early morning light he looked young in a way that he hadn't in a very long time. I could tell from the slightly vulnerable look in his eyes that something was on his mind that he needed to talk about. Though I might have been otherwise irritated to be awoken on one of the rare mornings when I had planned to sleep in, I was undeniably touched that my brother had sought me out.

James was visibly relieved when I nodded, slipping out of the bed as carefully as I could so that I didn't wake Freddy. He held a jumper out for me to put on once I had successfully cleared the sheet that I had managed to completely roll myself in during the night. I already had on one of Jay's sweaters, but I didn't want to wear the same thing as the day before, so I quickly shoved it into my bag and pulled on the one James had given me instead.

We remained silent until we reached the Common Room, where James immediately turned to me and said, "I'm not telling you what to do, but you might consider your hair."

I realized with a start that it was still in the tangled mess that I had rendered it by ripping my fingers through it first before making it to the Headmistress's office and then again after Hastings had left, with braids and curls hanging in a terrible nest of hair down my back rather than in any sort of order. James watched with mild amusement as I carefully undid any of the assortment of braids that were still standing and finger-combed it as best I could before I tried to sort it back into its normal updo. After I struggled with it for several minutes, he gripped me by my shoulders and spun me around so that my back was to him. We stood in silence for a beat while James pulled my hair into a simple braid straight down my back just as Minnie had done the night before.

"Thank you," I told him when he was done. He smiled at me in response, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and tugging us back on our way.

"Sleep in, did you lovie?" Cecilia asked as we exited the Common Room.

I turned offering her a smile. It was well past when I would normally emerge for a run, but still far earlier than most people would be awake, so her joke was multi-faceted. "Just a bit. A nice little lie-in."

Giggling, she said, "Well, you do have OWLs coming up. It's good to sleep while you still can."

James and I both snorted at her faux-ominous tone. My twin raised an eyebrow at the painting. "Do you think they call them OWLs because you've got to learn to stay awake all night in order to pass them?"

Cecilia let out a cackle, hiding her face in her hands as she doubled over with laughter. Clearly pleased, James called out a goodbye that I echoed before pulling us on our way once more.

"That was a good one," I complimented.

"Thanks. I stole it from Coleen. Are you okay to go outside?" He asked, no doubt considering the cold weather that awaited us.

I shrugged. "Wherever is fine."

Though it was cold, it was a rather lovely day out, and James and I were content to walk along in silence. The grounds were surprisingly still and silent, dawn having just broken in the distance, and there wasn't a single ripple in the lake. A hint of low-lying fog covered the far side of the water, but the sky was remarkably clear. For a moment the moon, just visible above the Forbidden Forest, caught my eye. Our breaths created little clouds in the air in front of us, and I enjoyed the way that the fresh snow, which had clearly fallen overnight, crunched beneath my feet.

When James found a tree with low enough branches for us to haul ourselves onto we stopped. I let him climb first, knowing that he would defrost the tree's limb for us. Once he seemed comfortable I followed, pleased that I only had to jump a bit to reach the lowest branch. The view of the grounds was even more stunning from up in the tree, though we obviously hadn't climbed very high, given James's fear of heights. As I settled in, I found myself wishing that I had a cup of tea and a book between my fingers.

After a few minutes James finally broke the silence. "Are you okay? I knew you were sick yesterday, but I didn't want to bug you, since everyone was asking you how you were."

"I'm fine," I responded. "Thank you for asking."

We were both speaking rather softly, and I expected it was because James was as reluctant to break the tranquil feeling around us as I was.

He nodded, accepting my answer easily. That was when I knew that something was really bothering him, for my brother was nosy even on the best of days. I was honestly fairly surprised he hadn't already exploded, for James was never the type to be quiet about things. His opinions usually burst out of him without any sort of regard for the words coming out of his mouth. When James had something to say, it was like a dam bursting; there was nothing that you could do to stop the onslaught.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"It's been a while since you've written the family, right?" He dodged the question.

I nodded. While I wrote to Dom, Vic, and my godmother on a fairly regular basis, I tended to stick to writing to my parents, Levi, and Ted once a month, and everyone else about every three months. If I had anything particularly impressive to tell my parents I would write home sooner, but otherwise I was fine doing it on a fixed schedule.

James knew this because he did the same thing. We had coordinated it so that we wrote home and to Teddy with almost exactly six weeks in between our letters, so that our parents were hearing from one of us fairly often, and to everyone else with about a month and a half between. Lily and Al tended to write more frequently than we did, so we had just let them figure their own system out.

"That's what I thought. So it's been a while since you've heard from Ted, then?" He confirmed.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, because I got a letter from him yesterday and he seemed off."

"He only just wrote you back yesterday? And what do you mean 'off'?" I questioned, beginning to grow alarmed myself. Though we were going home for break in a few days, I was still planning on staying on track with my letters, as I was due to send them and I had thank you letters to write for my birthday gifts. It was well past when James should be getting a letter back from our brother.

"No, I wrote to him with a question that I had about DADA last week, so he was responding to that. It was just how distracted he seemed that worried me. My question wasn't anything complicated, but he rambled on for almost two pages. It was all nonsense," James let out a little, humorless laugh at that. "It was like I could hear him talking, you know? Plus, he hasn't said anything about work. Not in that letter or the one before it. You know how Ted is-"

"Definitely proud of his Auror work. He talks about it in every letter that he writes for me," I confirmed, my brow furrowing. "He didn't mention it at all?"

"No."

"Now that you mention it, Vic hasn't said anything about him in a few letters, and I just heard from her the other day. I'll let you know if anything seems up when we get home," I promised.

"Thanks, P."

I turned a bit, gently setting my head on his shoulder. He immediately responded by sliding his arm around my waist, squishing me close to him in a way that he hadn't since we were kids. We sat in silence for a while longer, just watching the sunrise. Finally, when the sun had completely risen and was beginning to grow warm enough to burn off some of the mist, I stood carefully.

"I'm going to go get some tea," I told him.

"No breakfast?"

"I'll probably grab a bowl of whatever fruit they have. I'm just going to walk down to the kitchens and get it. I want to get a good start on my letters before we have to get to Transfiguration."

"I'll let everyone know why you're gone when they ask at breakfast."

"Thanks."

I turned around, putting both of my hands on the tree limb and lowering my body towards the ground. For a moment I simply hung there, my feet dangling about two feet off of the ground, before I let go of the branch. The soles of my shoes had only just brushed the grass below me, the impact a bit jarring due to the cold that had settled over my bones, when James spoke again.

"P?"

I tipped my head back, gazing at my twin in curiosity. "Yeah, Jamie?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked, perplexed and astounded. My twin didn't apologize.

James sighed, raking his hands through his meticulously styled hair in a gesture reminiscent of our father. "I'm your twin brother. But I don't ever act like it. If anyone who didn't already know were to guess who your twin brother was, they'd say Fred. You two act more like twins in a day than you and I have our whole lives."

"James-" I started, but he quickly cut me off.

"No. Really, Phoenix, after what happened to Fred, I should be looking after you a bit better. I'm sorry I hadn't been," He told me, the words genuine.

"Don't be sorry. We do just fine, Jamie. Let's just agree to look after Lil and Al, okay?" I compromised, appreciating my brother's words, but not wanting to encourage him developing a sudden interest in my well-being. Something burned behind my eyes, but I had no tears left in my body after the events of the night prior.

"Just promise that you'll say something if you need help."

He didn't say who I had to tell, so it was with complete honesty that I responded, "I'll do my best."

I could see his grin as he chuckled at the words. "I suppose that that's the best I can ask for. Just know that you'll always have me, okay?"

"I know, Jamie."

It was a good thing that he was too high up in the tree to see the look of guilt on my face as I walked away.

---

My thoughts were on my older brother as I wandered through the halls. It was unlike Teddy to completely forgo mentioning his work in one letter, let alone two. I wondered if it was because the Aurors were doing something that he couldn't talk about. If they were investigating the attacks in secret, I would need to give Minnie and Luna a heads up.

So lost in thought was I that I didn't even notice the boy rounding the corner until I smacked straight into him. We both went sailing backwards, the papers that he held scattering while my bag slipped off of my arm as I hit the ground.

"Merlin, I'm so sorry!" I gasped, trying to scramble upright so that I could help the boy grab his papers. "I wasn't looking and-"

"Phoenix?"

I stopped speaking abruptly, my eyes flicking up to meet the gaze of Max Holland, who looked thrilled to see me.

"Hey!" He greeted, his wide smile failing to reach his eyes. There was something vacant in his gaze that made my skin crawl, so I dropped my stare quickly.

There were two slips of paper in his hands, the opening salutation visible in one, the closing salutation visible in the other. The letter on top began with "to my dearest love, home of my heart". The one underneath it, which he held upside down, ended with one word.

Corinth.

My blood ran cold.

He was still talking to me, his tone falsely warm, like a bad actor in a play. Holland's hands shook slightly where he clutched at the papers. I couldn't take my eyes off of the dark ink scrawled across the final bit of parchment.

"Are you okay?"

His hand gripping my shoulder made me flinch, for I hadn't even seen him move. Though he had asked after me, Holland merely looked confused when I met his eyes, not concerned. Before I could formulate a response, another voice cut through the quiet hallway.

"Take your hands off of her before I affix them to the ceiling."

The look that Holland gave Jay was positively sinister. I got the feeling that, were he in control of whatever magic Hastings wielded, my boyfriend would be in serious danger. Still, he pulled his hands back to his side, but not before squeezing my shoulder once.

I stood, avoiding Holland's eyes as I stepped back into the shelter of Jay's arms. He immediately pulled me against his chest, ducking his head slightly to whisper in my ear.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded, glancing through my eyelashes at the boy who was still knelt on the floor. His head was still tipped towards the ground, but he glanced up at us just as I looked at him, his eyes dark under the shadow of his brow. I noticed that his jaw was locked tightly, as though he were withholding a scream or grinding his teeth together.

"Let's go," I whispered, trying to keep my voice low enough that Holland wouldn't hear me.

Another two lines were visible on his letter as he straightened his papers. I could see his name and the words "I have a new task for you". We would have to watch him, have to keep him from completing whatever his task may be. Perhaps I could use his strange fondness for me to my advantage, keeping him close in order to figure out what he was up to.

As we passed him, I realized that he was muttering under his breath. Though the words were too quiet for me to hear him, it sounded repetitive, like he was saying the same thing over and over.

"There's something wrong with him," Jay muttered as we got further down the hall. "Like, really wrong with him. He gives me the creeps. Try to stay away from him please, love. I don't like the way he looks at you…"

"How does he look at me?"

"I don't know. Maybe this is dramatic, but...my grandad's friends took me hunting with them once. I hated it. Grandad doesn't particularly enjoy hunting either, so we mainly stayed back and read, but one of the guys there was really into it. On the last day that we were on our trip, he finally tracked down this massive stag that he had been after the entire time. I'll never forget the look that he gave it. That's how Holland looks at you, Phoenix. Like you're something that he wants to hang on his wall."

Chills crept up my spine at the words, because I knew exactly what he meant. The looks that I caught Holland giving me from time to time were not looks of affection, but rather of slight obsession. I was something that he coveted, something that he wanted to possess for himself. It was not love that showed in the tightness around his vacant eyes at the sight of me, but rather greed.

Jay was giving me a look of concern, his eyes pale green in the early light that poured through the windows. His posture was off, for he normally held himself perfectly straight, yet now his shoulders were hunched forward slightly, as though there was a great weight resting on his back.

Standing on the tips of my toes, I cupped my hand around his cheeks, running my thumb gently across the very slight stubble that lay there. He smiled when I kissed him, the corners of his lips curling upwards even as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back.

"I don't feel like worrying about him right now," I told Jay very softly, for I could not promise to leave the boy in question alone when we needed to know what he was up to. "Right now I want to go get something to eat from the kitchens, so that we can go up to the owlery for a bit of letter-writing and quiet before our classes."

"That," He said, pausing after the word to press a kiss to my cheek, "Sounds like an excellent plan."

Taking his hand in mine, I gently pulled him on our way. In a very low tone, just in case Holland was still hanging around, I said, "I told Freddy everything. He didn't take it well. Just so that you know that you don't have to watch what you say around him."

"Thank you for letting me know," Jay responded. "I'll see if he wants to talk about it later. What did McGonagall want?"

I groaned, tipping my head back as I remembered what I had dealt with before I got around to telling Freddy. "Hastings was here. He wanted me to be his intern. I think he knows, Jay."

"What does McGonagall think?" Jay's brows were pulled together tightly with concern.

"She doesn't think it's going to be a big deal, I think that she wants to believe that we fooled him, but he called just the three of us to talk to him. There's no way that that's a coincidence, right?"

"It's not likely, no. He could still be unsure though, Marigold. If McGonagall doesn't think that you need to be worried about it, maybe you can just be cautious about it without the whole issue becoming yet another thing that you have to deal with right now? I mean, you've got a lot on your plate, my love. It's possible that he was just testing the waters with you because of who your parents are. I mean, you weren't the only person who was out that night, and you did tell everyone that you were hiding in the library, right?"

"I didn't think about that," I admitted, but his words had created a tiny niggling feeling in the back of my mind, for I was certain that I was forgetting something. Jay would know, though. He didn't forget anything. I just needed to jog his memory. "There's-"

A familiar laugh sounded from around the corner. Without thinking about it, I grabbed Jay by the arm and hauled him into a hidden alcove just as Lucy and Lana entered the hallway. We remained silent until they had passed.

"I need to do something about that," I muttered, eyes on the archway that Lucy had disappeared through even though she was no longer in my line of sight. She had grown unpleasant to the point of almost being mean as of late, and I found my patience wearing dangerously thin with my cousin.

Jay let out a sarcastic scoff. "My vote is for telling her to stop being a jealous git. I'll happily do the honors, if you'd like."

I sighed, shaking my head. "I just keep meaning to talk to her when I'm not in a mood, because I know it'll get ugly if I say something in the heat of the moment. The problem is that I only seem to think about it when I'm already irritated, you know?"

Jay smiled, using my arm to spin me around so that I was facing him. "Well, perhaps we'll just have to make sure that you have a good day today, hmm? You deserve it."

I didn't have the chance to object as he began spinning me around, dancing us down the hallway despite the lack of music. It should have been awkward, but we were both giggling so hard that I had a hard time finding it anything but exceptionally sweet.

---

The wall that lined the Owlery was a bit different than the one around the Astronomy tower. While the low wall that kept students from falling off of the tallest tower in Hogwarts was placed at the very edge of the stone flooring, the one around the Owlery cut about a foot and a half into the walkway, creating a small ledge.

I had discovered about a year ago that it was nearly impossible to see someone who sat on this ledge. With the noise of the owls within the structure, there was little chance at all of someone noticing me when I sat there, so long as I didn't stand up.

The view from the ledge was lovely, as the Owlery overlooked the Forbidden Forest. It was high enough up that I could see into the small gaps in the trees, sometimes catching a glimpse of something large and furry or silver and glowing.

As Jay and I settled into our spots on the ledge, carefully arranging our things so that we didn't send a cup of tea or part of our breakfast plummeting towards an unsuspecting student below us, I felt the bracelet around my wrist burn.

Fd: Where are you?

"Freddy's on his way," I told Jay as I sent a responding message with our location.

"Sounds good," Jay responded, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as I pulled out a bit of parchment to get started on my letters. "Make sure you remember to eat while you work. You know how bad you are about that."

I simply nodded, knowing that I had no room to disagree. I was forever getting caught up in something interesting, only to look down at my plate when the meal ended and realize that I had hardly eaten a thing. To make a point, I popped a strawberry into my mouth and ate it while Jay watched.

Tipping my head onto my boyfriend's shoulder as I wrote, I found myself constantly having to correct my spelling due to my exhaustion.

As though reading my thoughts, Jay looked up from his own letter and said, "Do you want to come sleep in my bed tonight? You still look really tired, Marigold."

I smiled at him. "I should probably get at least eight hours where Roxy can see me before she slips something in my tea to make sure of it, but thank you. I'm just looking forward to the break. It'll be nice to go home and rest a bit."

Jay tucked a stray lock of my hair behind my ear. "I'm sure. Also, I meant to tell you earlier, but your hair looks nice like this. It's…softer looking, somehow."

"Oh," I said, reaching up to touch the braid that I had forgotten adorned my head, "Thank you. It was a complete mess this morning."

He laughed, gently squeezing my shoulder. "Well, I never would have guessed."

Freddy arrived a few minutes later, hopping over the wall seemingly without any caution and nearly giving Jay a heart attack as he dropped onto the ledge beside him. My boyfriend bent forward, clutching at his heart as my cousin got comfortable.

I knew that Freddy's lycanthropy made him more agile and coordinated, but it still didn't stop me from berating him while Jay attempted to catch his breath.

"Do not jump over like that!" I scolded, my eyes narrowing as Freddy immediately gave Jay a crooked grin. "I do not fancy watching you fall off of the side of the Owlery, plus you almost gave poor Jay a heart attack!"

The boys were grinning at each other. "Sorry, mum," Freddy said, his voice light with amusement. Despite his tone, I could see the puffiness to his eyes that told me he had been crying again.

Jay clearly noticed it too, for his next words were a touch more gentle than they would have normally been. "Late night?"

"Oh boy, now I'm going to get a lecture from dad as well," Freddy groaned, throwing his head back against the wall dramatically.

Jay and I both chuckled at his words. I ducked my head towards the parchment in my lap as Jay bumped his shoulder against Freddy's.

"Let me know if you need to talk. I get it," Jay said very softly to the curly haired boy, in an undertone clearly not meant for my ears.

"Later for sure. Thanks, mate," Freddy responded. Not for the first time, I was struck with the realization that my best friends were friends in their own capacity, in a way that did not include me at all. It was a nice thought.

I saved Dom's letter for last, as it was the one that I was looking forward to the most. Finally, when all of my other letters had been written and a tempus charm told me that we still had about half an hour before we needed to get to class, I tore open the heavy envelope.

Annie,

So, there was a slight change in plans-Mick and I are in Mexico! You would just love it here, Ann. It's so beautiful, the food is incredible, and there's so much art and music. I swear, there's something new to see, try, or learn around every corner. Someday you'll have to come visit.

Mick says hello, by the way. He's trying so hard to learn everyone's names because he's determined to meet you all. Whenever he thinks that I'm asleep, he pulls out flashcards that have names, descriptions, and random information that I've told him about all of you. It's cute, though in a very nerdy, awkward way. Which pretty much sums up Mick, I suppose.

So, the big news: we're officially dating. I'm so, so happy. You're just going to love him, Annette. He's got this amazing taste in music and he sings constantly. It's one of the happiest things that I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing. He sings like a dying cat, mind you, but somehow I still get this bubbly feeling in my chest whenever he bursts into song. He also cooks spectacularly, and he can make anything that you can think of. I think Grandma is going to just adore him.

So anyways, back to Mexico.

The culture here is fascinating-muggle and magical. No one really believes in Arthurian legend here, which was a real shock the first time I shouted "Merlin's beard" in the marketplace and got a whole lot of very confused looks in response. There's a mixture of belief systems here, all of which I think you'd find interesting. I included a little book for you that I picked up in the market-you just need to enlarge it.

If you're wondering, I am picking up some Spanish while I'm here. It's not too different from French, actually, though obviously the two are hardly the same thing. Mick says I'm a fast learner, but he could just be flattering me. He tends to do that.

I've also included some candies for you. No, I will not be telling you anything more about them. Have fun figuring them out for yourself :)

The charm that I got you this time is a sugar skull. Don't worry, it's not going to get ruined if you get it wet or anything. It's magically protected, though they're pretty sturdy even when muggles make them. Look through the book I sent if you want to learn about them. It's really very interesting, Annie!

So, on to less fun topics.

My first problem-

Mick wants me to go to Ireland with him. I've mentioned this before, obviously, but I didn't realize that he meant to meet his parents. I'm nervous, Ann. Part of me is scared that they'll know all about me from the papers and hate me before I ever even walk through the door.

The other part is scared that they won't know a thing, and they'll wind up hating me for being precisely who I am.

I think that would be worse than never even having a chance, honestly.

Do I go? If I don't, how do I tell him no?

I don't know what to do here.

The other problem is that Vic wrote me a letter a week ago.

We've barely corresponded since I left. Just the occasional note asking how I'm doing and vice versa. This letter was different, though. I could hear this letter as I read it, because it was exactly the way that she used to talk to me, before everything happened. She wanted advice and to share her secrets with me. I don't even know what to do with that, Annie.

Please don't tell anyone, and especially don't tell Teddy or Vic that I told you. I'm sorry for ruining the surprise, but I need someone to talk to about this.

Vic's pregnant.

Of all the people in the world, she picked me to tell first (well, after Teddy, of course). She hasn't even told our mum yet. What on Earth does that mean? If she wants to be friends again, I'm obviously happy to be, but why did she just send the letter out of the blue? What do I do?

I'm sorry that this is a lot, Annette. I don't mean to dump all of my problems on you; you've just become my best friend at some point and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather talk to about this stuff.

I love you with all of my heart. Thank you for being my best friend.

Dom

Well, at least that explained Teddy's oddness. Knowing my brother, all he had been able to think about since Vic told him was how over the moon he is to be a dad.

Ted was going to be a dad.

It was all I could do to fight the brilliant smile that was threatening to creep over my face. I knew that there was no way Teddy would make it through having everyone home for Christmas without telling the family, but I didn't want to ruin the surprise early.

Letting my braid fall over my face slightly, I ducked my head over a clean piece of parchment.

Dom,

Mexico sounds amazing. Thank you for the pictures and thank you even more for the book. I can't wait to read it. Someday I will definitely have to visit.

The charm is beautiful. I'll definitely look up sugar skulls. Also, Jay and Freddy are sitting next to me while I write this, so guess who's about to try the candy you sent with me?

I've included some Fizzing Whizbees for you. I know that they're your favorite. There's also a drawing that I did of Lou. Like I told you, it snowed back in October, and I've been trying to get the look on his face just right ever since. He misses you.

Congratulations! I'm so glad that you and Mick have finally made it official. He sounds like an amazing guy, and you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. It also makes me happy to know that you're not traveling alone anymore. I know that you're capable, of course, but it's still a relief.

Tell him I say hello as well.

I think that you should go to Ireland. If they do hate you, which I doubt, at least you went and made an effort. I know that that will mean something to Mick. Plus, wouldn't you rather do this earlier rather than putting it off? I know it's scary, but you're wonderful. If they can't see that, then they're not really looking.

As for Vic's letter…maybe she wants to be friends again, but doesn't know how to go about making that happen. Or, maybe she just wanted to talk to someone who she knew would keep her secrets. I would lean towards the first, personally, because she hasn't written me about it, and your sister knows that I'll keep her secrets for her if she wants me to. Write her back and see how she responds. This could be the olive branch that you've been waiting for, Dom. If it is, there aren't even words to express how happy I am for you.

I hope that you're doing well. Will I be seeing you for Christmas?

You're my best friend too, Dom. You know that.

All my love.

Phoenix

When I finished sending all of my letters, we tried a few of the candies from Dominique, eliciting much laughter as their magical properties were revealed one after another, and then realized that we had just enough time to call an elf for our dishes before sprinting to class.

---

Lily's face was the color of my hair as she laughed, leaning her head against my upper arm. We were in the Room of Requirement, a truly disgusting array of chocolates laid out before us as we had a sister's night. Jay and Freddy had caught wind of our plans and somehow smuggled a case of butterbeer from Hogsmeade for us without the map or the cloak. I suspected that they had snagged a second one to share between themselves tonight, as I could see that Freddy needed someone to talk to about my impending death besides me.

My sister and I were sitting in the window seats that overlooked Magus, discussing nothing important as she ate her way through her third box of chocolate. I had filled her in on Minister Hastings first, not the anticipation of the conversation hanging over our heads for the rest of the evening. She had then begun giving me the details on the new drama between Scorpius and our brother. Apparently, Ava had decided that Albus was still too wrapped up in the other boy, so she very kindly broke things off with him so as to be fair to all three of them. The action had put her squarely back in my good graces.

"What about you and Ali?" I asked once she finished telling me about a very awkward encounter between Al and Scorpius.

My sister winced slightly, her shoulders drooping as she looked towards her hands. "She's not being mean, and she's not at fault. I just want to put that out there first."

"Okay, but…?"

Lily let out a great sigh, tipping her head against the window frame and staring up at the ceiling. "It's really the same stuff as the beginning of the year. I get a lot of letters from Indi. Don't be mad, but I talk to Luna a lot about everything-"

"Lily," I jumped in, leaning forward to grip her upper arms, "I don't mean to interrupt, but I will never be mad at you for talking to Luna. Or Jay, or Minnie, or Freddy. I'm sorry that you don't have more options, but I'm so proud of you for deciding to talk to someone. It's not healthy to bottle everything up. Okay?"

My sister offered me a slightly wry smile. "You could take your own advice, you know. Don't think we don't all notice that you convince us to seek each other or you out to talk, but then only talk to one of us when you're having a breakdown."

I bit my lip, trying to think of how to respond. Though I felt her statement was slightly unfair-I did speak to them about my feelings occasionally-she probably had a point. Finally, I opted to simply change the subject altogether.

"I didn't mean to interrupt you. You were talking about Ali?"

Lily rolled her eyes, though the gesture was not unkind. "Yeah. So I talk to Luna, I get letters from Indi that I can't really explain, and Col and I have become really close this year. Plus Lore has always been my best friend. Sorry, I'm talking circles around this. The issue is really, I think, that Coleen and Lorcan know that I've got stuff on my mind that I can't share with them and they simply accept it. Ali wants to help so badly that she can't imagine anyone else simply letting me deal with it by myself, so I think that she's under the impression that I've told Col and Lore things that I haven't told her. I don't know. She just…I know I've hurt her feelings, and there's nothing that anyone can do about it-which is not your fault, it's Hastings-but it sucks because I get where she's coming from, so I can't even say anything to her about it. I know I would be just as obsessive about trying to get her to open up about something that was bothering her as much as I'm bothered by this-shit, I didn't mean to say that, forget that please I'm okay-but I know that I would be because I literally spied on you. So I can't hold it against her, but it sucks that my best friend is upset with me because she wants to be my best friend and feels like I'm not letting her."

I jumped in when my sister paused to suck in a deep breath. "Lil. Hey. Okay, that was…a lot. Let's just go ahead and break that down a bit, yeah?"

She looked undeniably relieved at the idea. "Yeah, that sounds good."

"Okay, good. Look, I know that you understand where Ali is coming from, but that doesn't mean that she's not also being unfair to you, Lily. She's hurt, and she's valid for being hurt, but she's still not being the best friend by giving you the cold shoulder because you won't let her support you in the way that she wants. That's not cool, and I think that you deserve to be able to talk to her about it. It sounds like Coleen and Lorcan are doing exactly what you need by allowing you to keep things to yourself as you choose, but still offering you love and friendship."

"I just-Phoenix it's hard because I love Col and Lore, but not like I love Ali. I know that shouldn't make a difference, but it does. We've planned everything together for years. We have shared journals for our notes and thoughts, we've got a list of medical training programs that we're both going to apply to and we've already agreed we'll only go together, we have plans for what we want our shared flat to look like, I just…I know I'm young, Phoenix, but so were our parents. Luna said sometimes you just know. Mum's said the same thing. Dad said that he knew he wanted to spend as long as he could with mum from the moment that he first looked at her as anything other than his best friend's little sister. I've known Ali my whole life and I want to keep getting to know her for the rest of it. I would be just as hurt if I felt like she was shutting me out," Lily rambled, hands twisting in a very uncharacteristically anxious motion.

"Lil. I get that. I'm not saying that you should tell her that she's being a bad friend. Just pull her aside and say something along the lines of: Ali, we both know that there are things that I can't tell you, just like we both know that me not telling you these things has hurt your feelings. The reason that I'm not sharing what's going on with me isn't because I don't want to, because I promise that I do. I just can't. It's a family thing, and not my business to share, no matter how much it may affect me. That being said, I want you to know that I haven't told anyone. Not Coleen, not Lorcan, no one. If I could tell anyone, I would tell you first. I know that you're hurt by the secrets that I have to keep, and I'm so sorry to have hurt you. I miss you."

My little sister sat quietly for a minute, then, to my great horror, let out a quiet sniffle. "That's good, but…what if she says she can't forgive me?"

"Lily, there's nothing to forgive," I said insistently, trying to understand her line of thinking and finding myself unable to.

"Maybe not to you, Phoenix, but there is to us. I don't know. Maybe we're just immature or something, but…I would have to forgive her. I know that she has to forgive me. It's not a personal grudge, but I hurt her feelings. The context doesn't matter. If I say all of that to her and she can't accept it, I just…I don't know. It feels like the coward's way out, but I'd rather this awful limbo that we're in right now than knowing I can't be forgiven. Does that make sense? It's not even about me having feelings for her. She's just…she's my best friend. My life isn't my life without her," Lily whispered, tears splashing onto her wrists as she spoke.

That made sense to me. Even if nothing else that Lily said did, I understood life not feeling right without someone in it. Leaning the rest of the way across the window to wrap my sister in a hug, I let her cry into my shoulder for a few moments before speaking again.

"That does make sense. Not all of it, but I can at least understand that you know Ali far better than I do and as such know that what you're saying is true. I think you should talk to her, but you're not a coward for putting it off. Maybe you could…extend an olive branch of sorts in the meantime? Something special, for just the two of you to share, so that she understands that she still holds a special place in your life?"

Lily glanced up, expression hopeful. "That may work. That really, really may work. What kind of olive branch do you think I could offer?"

"I honestly don't know right this second, but I'll ask Jay to help me, if that's okay with you, and I promise that we can come up with something good between the two of us," I told my sister, relieved to see the joy in her eyes at the promise.

She squeezed me tightly. "Thank you, Phoenix. Thank you so much."

"Of course, Sparky. I'm glad you talked to me about it," I withheld an apology for what she was going through, knowing that she would brush it off as soon as I issued it. Instead, I leaned forward to grab two butterbeers and popped the tops off of them with a fancy bit of wandless magic that I had been working on perfecting since Freddy told me that he and Jay were going to try to get us the drink. Lily looked suitably impressed, which made me grin a touch smugly as I handed her one of the bottles.

She clinked her glass against mine lightly, clearly whole-heartedly content to believe me when I told her that I would help her to come up with a bandaid solution to her problem. Sometimes I found myself wishing that I could have faith in someone as easily as my younger siblings unthinkingly trusted me. Though there were, of course, people that I trusted with my life, I knew that there was no one alive who could solve my issues for me.

We both took a small sip while I waited for Lily to completely bounce back to her cheery self. I knew that dwelling on her feelings wasn't really a habit that Lily fell into often. It was something that I greatly envied her for even as I sought to preserve that ability in my little sister.

"So," Lily gave me a spectacular smirk as she predictably returned to her more upbeat natural countenance after a long moment, but didn't continue her sentence.

"So…?" I waited for her to continue speaking, but she did not. After a minute, I shrugged and raised my bottle to my lips.

"How long have you and Jay been sleeping together?"

She roared with laughter as butterbeer shot out of my nose, her words causing me to choke in shock.

"Now you know how it feels," She teased. Unable to formulate words as I continued to cough, I merely shook my head at her through a haze of tears, a touch proud of her cunning plan. "Really, though, I want details. All the details."

Once I finally got ahold of myself, I rasped. "He's been letting me sleep in his bed here and there because I sometimes have nightmares. As for the other bit-gods help me-we've never...we've never done anything like that. Not that I'm talking about anything of the sort with you either way."

Lily actually screamed with laughter, leaning forward and burying her face in her knees while she howled. Her face was crimson when she finally leaned back, wiping tear-bourne trails of mascara from her cheeks. "Y-Your face! Oh, I can't breathe! Phoenix, you didn't actually have to give me details, but thank you. Merlin, you looked like you were trying to chew nails! Are you that opposed to the concept, or is it just talking about it with me that got you?"

"It's not you, but-no, actually, it is you! I am not talking about this with you!" I gasped, embarrassingly scandalized at the entire situation. Lily was my baby sister; there was no way I was actually talking about this with her.

My words only made her laugh harder. "Gods, Phoenix, you're so funny."

I flapped my hands at her, cheeks growing warm as I tried to wave off the entire situation. "Leave me alone!" I whined, pouting as the words set her off again. "You're a bully."

"Thank you, Phoe," She said a while later, finally getting control over her giggles as she leaned back against my arm. "I needed this."

"Well, I'm glad one of us did," I grumbled, though I once again wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

Lily merely beamed at me in response, lifting her butterbeer to her lips as she curled into my side. When I turned my head slightly, I could see out of the windows. In the distance, Medella looped slowly around the mountain, a false image created by my own memories. From the angle that we sat at, they seemed to loop right over the top of the Diaboli.

"Want to spar?" I asked after a long moment.

"I thought you would never ask!" Lily squealed, jumping to her feet and tugging her cutlass out of her bag. I laughed as she barely gave enough time to grab my own before lunging at me, grinning a crazed smile that wouldn't have been out of place on Jack's face as our cutlasses clanged together.

---

The fire was so warm that it was almost painful to keep my frozen toes so close to it, though I determinedly did not pull them away until I realized that my socks were smoking. I managed to tuck my feet under me just as Don turned his head, a disgusted expression on his face, and pinned Jack with a glare.

"Jack Kress, so help me if you don't pull your smelly feet away from the fire I will hex you," Don warned as Nikki audibly gagged at the, admittedly, very unpleasant scent of singed sock that hung in the air.

Jay turned his head to hide a snort in my hair as Jack lifted his arms incredulously before waving one of them at me. "That's not me, it's Phoenix! My feet weren't anywhere near the fire; she's the one who practically had her heels in the coals!"

"Don't blame her!" Don sounded scandalized. "I know Phoenix washes her socks before they get that bad."

"Wha-so do I! We just got back from Quidditch practice, where Jay worked us to the bloody death. We all smell like shit. This is favoritism, it is!" He wailed, folding his arms like a child.

"Of course it is!" Nikki chirped, rising from the chair just behind Jay that she had been sitting in and bending at the waist so that her face was beside mine. I realized what was happening a second too late as she gripped my chin in one hand and pressed a resounding kiss to my cheek. Jay let out a howl of laughter as I squawked indignantly, and Nikki simply raised her voice to speak over us both. "She's our favorite little bug, after all."

"Hey!" Ben shouted, throwing a crumpled piece of parchment at the black-haired girl. "All of you need to stop stealing that, it's my thing!"

Jack was giving me an exaggerated glare as Nikki crossed the room to the stairs, arms still folded across his chest. "Evil," He accused sulkily.

"However can I make it up to you?" I teased.

"Let me sign your shoes."

I blinked in slight surprise, thinking back to the names scrawled across the soles of my converse and realizing with a start that Jack's was absent from them, for he had not been a true part of our little friend group at that point. Feeling slightly guilty that I hadn't noticed sooner, I stood and quickly climbed the stairs to my room.

Jack was beaming when I came back down, holding the shoes out towards him and praying that no one noticed that I had changed my socks while I was upstairs. The smirk on Jay's face told me that I was not as sneaky as I had hoped, though his perfect memory probably attributed more to that than anything else.

"Sorry," I told Jack as he uncapped the permanent marker I had brought with his teeth, "I honestly sort of thought you already had."

It was a bit embarrassing to admit, given how often I absently ran my fingers over the bottoms of my shoes only to perform a hasty cleaning spell on my hands when I realized how filthy they must be.

"It's all good," Jack chirped, clearly immensely pleased with the arrangement. "Don, can you charm it to stay when I'm done?"

Don let out an exaggerated sigh. "If I must."

While they bickered, with Arnold cheerfully joining in-bickering with Don was, after all, his favorite pastime-I turned my face towards Jay.

"Hey," I said softly, "Can you help me with something?"

"Anything," He said at once, unthinking in his easy agreement.

I quickly explained the situation between Alice and my sister, relieved when he didn't seem irritated in the slightest when I admitted that I had already told Lily that I would ask him to help me find something for the two to do together.

"Do you know what sort of healing they want to specialize in?" Jay asked, expression thoughtful.

It was with a sinking, impossibly guilty feeling in my gut that I realized I didn't. I shook my head, unable to even vocalize how horrible I felt at not knowing what my sister wanted to do with her life beyond the barest minimum.

Jay wasn't really looking at me, instead staring at a random spot on the carpet as he thought something over, so he missed my inner turmoil. I managed to get control of my features before he turned to me, so as to avoid causing him unnecessary worry.

"That's fine. Ask her when you can, okay? I have an idea that I think will be really good, but I need to know their specific interest," He said.

"Thank you."

"Of course."

He let me tuck myself into his side, finger tapping absently on the side of my quill as I let my mind wander. Though I thought I was justified for being a bit wrapped in my own life at least at times-in just the past month, I had added trying to sort out what to do about Max Holland and figuring out how practice gaining to control my magic under extreme circumstances to my already busy plate-there were certainly things that I was missing out on. I wondered then if Al still wanted to work with magical creatures after Hogwarts, if James still wanted to become an Auror, and whether any of my siblings ever noticed how rarely their sister took an interest in their lives.

I resisted the urge to begin plucking bits of the rug up, knowing that the habit would immediately bring teasing from Ben, which would have everyone's attention on me, and instead spun my quill to diffuse some of the upset energy that was rising in me.

I was a bad sister.

There was a face in mine very suddenly.

"Hey," James said, ignoring the look that Jay cut him when I jumped. "Let's take a walk."

Choosing not to comment on how odd it was that my twin was asking me to walk with him for the second time in less than a week, I leaned down and snagged my shoes from Jack, tugging them on before following James out of the Common Room. He didn't say anything as I picked at the sleeves of my jumper, eyes trained mostly on the halls ahead, though they did occasionally flick towards me before darting away again.

He led me into a part of the castle that had fallen into disuse after the war, the shadows that his lit wand created only bothering me slightly when they raced over my feet. My nightmares had long-since shifted from being haunted at the Ministry to scenarios that my mind no longer had to come up with on its own. The array of deaths that I had experienced after the Falx cursed me frequently starred in my bad dreams, though it was a toss up as to whether I was the one suffering them or if I was helplessly watching my loved ones die instead.

"You haven't stopped looking like you're about to start crying," James said, staring at my face in the light of his wand.

I cupped my elbows in my palms, my voice cracking as I offered my brother an explanation. "You apologized to me for us not being closer the other day. I should have done the same. I'm sorry that I don't ever take an interest in anyone's life but my own. I just realized how selfish I am. You all deserve a far better sister than me."

"Whoa, hey," Alarm was clear in my twin's voice as he stepped forward and set his hands on my shoulders. "Shut up. Seriously. Stop. You're a great sister, P. We're all busy. It's okay if we're not attached at the hip. Out of all of us, you're the one who clearly has the most to deal with, but you also make plenty of time for us. You're always stopping what you're doing to make sure Lily is doing okay. You check in on me when I'm upset. The only one you don't spend that much time with is Al, but-let's be honest-Al hasn't wanted much to do with any of us since he got on the train for his first year. I love him, but that's definitely on him. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, either, just that that's how it is. Teddy and Levi did the same thing for their first couple of years. I was the same way up until very recently. The only reason we were ever particularly close was because of Fred and Roxy. It's the same thing for Albus and Lily; they're closer because of Coleen. Al has his own friends and his own life, which he rarely extends to include us. You do not have to feel bad about that."

Sniffling, I ducked my head, pressing my face into my twin's chest and dissolving into sobs. There was no real reason for me to be so upset, but once the tears started I couldn't stop them.

"I'm just really tired and Jay asked me what kind of healer Lily wants to be and I don't even know, James! I've been hanging out with her regularly since this summer and I don't even know what kind of healer she wants to be. She and Al trust me, Jamie-if I say something will be okay they just trust it, but I don't think anything is okay! I'm tired of having to ask people for help, but I'm so tired of trying to fix everything, too. I just want to go home and not come back to school," I rambled, the words slightly unintelligible due to how hard I was crying.

James's hand cupped the back of my head, his thumb musing my hair as he rubbed it soothingly over my scalp. "Yeah, I thought you seemed off the other morning. Listen, Phoenix. I can't honestly tell you that no one will judge you or think less of you if you quit some of the shit that you have going on. I won't lie to you. But fuck them for that. I know that you have more going on than I know about. I wasn't joking last year when I said I can't fucking stand when you don't take care of yourself. You are a good sister, you're a good person, and-listen because I'm only saying this once, can't have you getting a big head-you're a very impressive witch. You don't have to do everything. It's okay if you only pick a few things to focus on. That's actually a big part of life, believe it or not."

I pinched his arm for the sarcasm, though I knew that it was justified. "I'm just tired, Jamie. I don't know. I want to do all of the things that I have a choice in doing. It's all of the other shit that isn't fair."

"I have no idea what you're talking about right now," He replied, "But it is shit. I know that you hate asking for help, but, if you really have to do a bunch of stuff that you don't want to, just start fucking throwing shit at me for me to take care of. Don't ask me to help, just fling it at my head and worry about something else. How about that?"

I let out a laugh, the sound muffled by his sweater. "Yeah, okay. Make sure you duck when I throw my Prefect's badge at you or you'll wind up looking like dad."

"I knew it," James mumbled, the aside clearly for his own benefit as he then raised his voice back to the volume it had been out. "Yeah, we wouldn't want that. Who knows, if I looked any more like him I'd probably be cursed, just like Al-horrible hair and even worse dad jokes."

Giggling, I said, "I think dad's funny."

"I know," He groaned. "It's awful; you lot do nothing but egg him on."

My laughter faded as I pondered whether there was anything that I could ask my brother for help with.

"Do you know why Lucy is mad at Roxy and me?" I finally asked.

"She's a jealous prat. That's all I really know. You two do well in all of your classes. She's been stiff with Fred, too, just not as much because of what happened over the summer, we think. The only reason she's probably nice to me is because I'm pretty average in most of our classes," My brother said, shrugging.

"You're top of our class in Arithmancy and Transfiguration," I responded immediately, unwilling to let James put himself down, particularly when he was being so kind to me.

He laughed. "I said most. If you want me to put her in her place-"

"No," I cut him off, "You'd be as bad as Jay. I'll take care of it."

"I'm taking that as a compliment; Jay can be stone cold. If it's not sorted before Easter Break, I'm going to take care of it whether you like it or not. That's entirely too close to our OWLs for you to be worrying about her," He said, decisive and immensely pleased. "This is good. What else?"

I thought about it for a moment. "I want us to all pick a class or two and give each other a crash course over them at some point. We all learn differently, which means we all understand subjects differently, and I think it would help all of our written portions to hear the people who best understand the class explain it in their own words."

"That's fucking brilliant and I'm sold as long as you do Charms and we talk the twins into doing Potions. Separately, preferably. Having partnered with both of them before, they tackle things very differently and I want to hear Roxy's thoughts and Fred's thoughts, not the twins' thoughts," James agreed, so easily that I realized he must be quietly stressing about our OWLs as well.

"You have to do Transfiguration and Arithmancy, please."

"Deal. More?"

I shook my head. "Not this second. I'll throw it at you once I think of it, though."

My twin was grinning when I stepped back. "Cool. I'm serious about the Lucy thing. I'll ruin Easter Break if I have to."

I let out a laugh. "I'll take care of it soon. I promise. Oh, and I found out what was going on with Ted. It's not my thing to share, but he's okay."

Before James could respond beyond giving me a relieved grin, something crashed against the window at the end of the corridor. We both flinched, then seemed to realize in perfect sync just how dark it had become. The long shadows and abandoned portraits suddenly seemed unbearably eerie, and I was immensely relieved when James took me by the elbow and began to steer me out of the hall.

"Feeling better?" He checked as I wiped my face clean.

"Much. Thank you."

"Don't mention it," My twin said a touch absently, eyes scanning the corners of the corridor as though expecting something to jump out at us.

Grinning a bit, I asked, "Ever?"

It took a second for my brother to catch the joke, but then he shot me an amused look, latent fear of the dark forgotten as he jokingly responded, "Ever."

We discussed who we thought should review which subject as we walked back to the Common Room. I was pleasantly surprised when James mentioned spreading the word and getting things organized, though I really shouldn't have been, given that I had just offered him the task to take care of for me. By the time that we had made it back to Gryffindor Tower, he had determined what subjects he would be asking everyone to create a review for and was promising that he would officially get things rolling once we came back from break.

"Will you invite the third and fourth years, too?" I asked, knowing that Coleen and Louis, at least, would jump at the chance to sit in on our OWL reviews.

"Yeah. Family plus Coleen, the Scamader twins, Ali, Hugo's boyfriend-"

"His name's Mike."

"-yeah, Mike, and Scorpius?" James checked.

"Ava Carter, too." I added, not wanting to exclude the girl despite not really knowing her.

James nodded. "Forgot about her. Okay, yeah, I'll let them know ahead of time and then give them dates once they're sorted. They can just show up for whichever they're free for. If we start trying to plan around everyone it'll be too much."

"That sounds good. Thank you, Jamie."

There was a grin on my twin's face, though he was looking at Cecilia when he responded. "You're welcome, P. Limerence."

Just as James gave the password, however, the portrait swung open and one of my many issues that I was taking on without assistance stepped out. My twin gripped my arm and tugged me aside as Max Holland stalked past us, giving us a very hollow stare the entire while.

"You know," James said very softly as he pulled me into the tunnel behind Cecilia's frame, "I was his friend for a long time. I stopped being his friend because he was a proper prat. A loud one, too. He doesn't say much of anything anymore, though. Do you think we did that?"

"No," I responded in an equally quiet tone. "I think…I think it was something a lot more devastating than losing his friends that made Max Holland what he is today."

"We didn't just stop being his friend, though," James confessed, looking a bit guilty, "We pranked him for ages. All of us boys did. It probably went on long enough to have just been plain mean, regardless of what he did, Phoe."

I shook my head. "You've historically been capable of being a prat at times, James-"

"Hey!"

"Shush, I'm trying to reassure you. Though you can be a bit of a prat, there's nothing that you or any of the other boys would have ever done to cause that. There's something wrong with him," I echoed Jay's words from a few days prior. "Really, truly wrong with him. Just stay away from him. I don't know what caused that, but it wasn't you."

James nodded, contemplative as we walked the rest of the way into the Common Room. I was pleased when he immediately made his way over to where Roxy and Nikki were sitting, bending down beside Rox's chair and snagging a spare piece of parchment. Though he rarely let on, James was remarkably good at planning things when he put his mind to it. I was hopeful that the study sessions he put together would be helpful to everyone involved.

Ben held out an arm for me as I made my way back towards the group I had been sitting with before James had pulled me aside. Freddy had joined the group, taking my place at Jay's side, where they were both staring intensely at a book that lay between them. Don, Arnold, and Jack were arranged before them, all looking fascinated by whatever they were doing.

"What's happening?" I asked as I settled against my friend's side.

Ben snorted. "They're on a wild goose chase. Apparently, Fred read in a magazine that Lord of the Rings was based on some magical island that has since been lost from time, which is completely untrue since-"

"Tolkien was a muggle, yes."

"Exactly. A brilliant one, of course, but a muggle. Regardless, when he started telling Jay about it, he got excited because he had read some legend that sounded similar to what Fred was describing. That, of course, led to them determining that they had to have the book in question tonight in order to confirm their "discovery". You missed a very blatant abuse of a Prefect's badge while you were gone, you know."

I sighed dramatically. "I missed it? What agony. I'll never recover."

He laughed. "I hope that you were doing something equally as interesting with that twin of yours. Funny, there are times I forget you have a twin at all, you know. Feels as though we don't see him too much, so it was a bit of a shock to find him stealing away our little bug tonight."

"Ironically, we were doing a bit of top-secret twin stuff tonight. Definitely interesting. I think that maybe it will be less easy to forget that I'm a twin soon," I admitted, knowing that Ben would understand the quiet joy in my voice at the confession.

Sure enough, the Slytherin gave me a wide grin. "That's very nice, bug."

"It is."

Our conversation was then interrupted when the two boys by the fire began exclaiming that they had found something. Arnold immediately began celebrating as though they had made a great discovery, while Don pulled the book towards him and promptly began poking holes in their theory. Jack remained suspiciously quiet, finally leaning back and glancing at me while the other four argued.

"Who's Tolkien?" He whispered.

"He's an author. A muggle author, so don't you listen to a word that comes out of their mouths," I told him, keeping my voice low enough that I wouldn't get dragged into the bickering.

"Is he any good?"

"He's the best," Ben said, causing me to nod enthusiastically.

"I'll send you his stuff for Christmas, okay?" I offered, pleased when Jack eagerly accepted.

"He was a wizard!" Freddy shouted, drawing the attention of half of the Common Room.

"Well, he wasn't, actually," Jay said, then promptly holding his hands up in a gesture of innocence as my cousin turned an outraged look in his direction. "That doesn't mean he didn't know anything about magic! I think he was probably a squib with magical parents, which would explain the whole theory about the island actually having existed."

Ben leaned his arms onto his knees, looking intrigued, "Oh, that's quite good, actually."

Jack and I exchanged amused glances. "Perhaps you can listen to some of what they're saying," I conceded.

He grinned before sliding back into his previous spot and loudly declaring his support for Jay's theory. Don threw his hands up in exasperation as Jay nodded approvingly at their roommate. Freddy still seemed stuck on Jay's belief that Tolkien was a squib, while Arnold seemed intent on disagreeing with anything that came out of Don's mouth.

Ben gave my arm a squeeze as I tucked my feet up beneath me and settled in to watch the boys bicker with a small smile. Though I never would have thought that breaking down in an abandoned corridor would be the trick to making me feel a bit better, I found myself more content than I had been in a while simply listening to them banter.

Still, the evening would have, admittedly, been improved had the scent of my burnt, sweaty socks faded while I was out of the room.

---

Things with Lucy finally came to a head the very last day before the break.

Everyone was trying to get their things together, for the train home left at eight the next morning, so there would be little time for any packing before we departed. The room was, thus, a chaotic mess of items being thrown to their rightful owners and girls sprinting into the bathroom and back.

Though I had gotten most of my things squared away earlier in the week, I had had a few things that I had been unable to pack. While everyone was frantically heaping clothes in their trunks and praying that they would close, I was tearing through my bedding, trying to locate my notes. Though I had initially been only irritated when I couldn't find them, I was starting to grow so anxious that it was making me ill. I had been holding them when I walked into the dorm earlier, and had sworn that I set them on my bed when I went to the bathroom.

Roxy had gone down to meet with Taylor, who had officially asked her to be her girlfriend after the Yule Ball, so I couldn't ask her if she had seen them. Lana was sitting on Lucy's bed, so I waited, picking at my sheets and actively repressing the golden magic that wanted to swirl around my hands with the force of my stress, until most of the other girls went down for dinner before I asked her about the notes.

"Lana," I called, avoiding Lucy's gaze altogether. "Have you seen my notes, by any chance?"

"Why would she have seen them?" Lucy asked before Lana could respond, her tone scathing.

The door swung open, Roxy practically dancing into the room before taking in the scene.

"What's going on?" She asked, her eyes narrowed at our cousin.

Lucy ignored the question. "You can't just go around accusing people of stealing your shit, Phoenix. God, you think so highly of yourself. No one wants your notes."

"Lucy-" Lana started to protest as a few of the other girls in the room shifted uncomfortably.

"I didn't accuse her of anything," I snapped, trying to control the furious buzzing feeling in my hands as all of my months of irritation with Lucy finally caught up to me. Two of the girls on the far side of the room stood and slipped past Roxy and out the door. "I just asked her a question, which had nothing at all to do with you, mind you."

Before Lucy could respond, Lana said, "She literally just asked if I had seen her notes, Luce. I told you, I'm not interested in being put in the middle of your issues with them. Stop trying to drag me into it."

"Why did your mind jump straight to thievery, Luce?" Roxy asked, the words icy as she slowly walked towards our cousin.

Punching a hole in my mental defenses, I practically chunked the question at Roxy.

Do you think she stole my notes?

"I think your guilt is showing," Roxanne told Lucy, but I knew that it was my answer. She could sense how guilty our cousin felt. That's how she knew. I forced myself to take a few deep breaths, so angry that I could hardly think straight.

"Guilt?" Lucy sputtered, but she was clearly floundering. "I already said that no one wants your notes! Why would I-"

"Accio Phoenix's notes."

Lucy gave her best friend a look of absolute betrayal as papers sailed out of her trunk and into the girl's outstretched hand. It was the thick stack of notes that I had been working on, a compilation of every subject but Charms that I was using to study for our OWLs. Re-writing and organizing everything that we had learned in our four and a half years at Hogwarts had taken me months to manage; had Lucy successfully stolen the notes, I would have struggled to recreate them before it came time to take the OWLs, let alone study them.

All eyes in the room were on Lana, which gave me a moment to put the fire that had started in my hands out.

Lana glanced away from the red-head beside her as I approached, holding the notes out for me to take.

"Thank you," I told her, then summoned my journal from my satchel. Using a spell that copied my work onto the pages of my journal, I began to painstakingly transfer all of my work into the secure notebook. No one else in the room moved while I did so, though it was not a quick process. When it was done, I glanced up at Lucy, making eye contact while I burned the notes to ash. There were a couple of gasps, but I had made sure to wave my wand while I did so, so it only appeared to be wordless magic. Most people had heard that I was rather proficient at wordless magic after the incident in Hogsmeade.

"Lana, I think Roxy and I are going to go to dinner. Do you want to come?" I asked, finally looking away from my cousin as I slipped my journal back into my bag, hands shaking with fury.

"Yes please."

I had just barely started to rise out of my bed when Lucy shot a spell at me. It was a jellylegs jinx, mostly harmless, so I didn't bother to respond beyond blocking the spell.

"You can't have everything!" Lucy screamed, face a brilliant shade of red and tears in her eyes. Her hands were clenched so tightly that I could see her white knuckles from across the room. A vindictive stab of pleasure shot through me at the idea of her being as angry as I was over the entire situation.

Roxy turned, clearly addressing the four of our dormmates who still lingered in the room. "I'll give you twenty galleons to leave for a few minutes."

"I'll double that if no word of this has leaked come February," I added through clenched teeth, keeping my eyes on Lucy the entire while.

As all four shuffled out of the room, I risked a quick look at Roxy. She nodded, indicating that she thought the girls would keep quiet. I waited until she cast a silencing charm before I responded to Lucy.

"You don't know anything about me," I hissed, my voice shaking slightly. Lana glanced between the two of us, then crossed the room to stand by Roxy. This seemed to infuriate Lucy more.

"I know plenty!" She snapped. "Little miss perfect Prefect. The Minister himself wants her to be his intern! Gets away with pulling pranks because everyone just loves her so much. You know what? Your pranks aren't funny. Everyone was so quick to forgive your prank our first year, but I didn't. You think using my insecurity about being Molly's shadow is okay? I think that you're a bitch! Who does that to their family? And you only get good grades because you go suck up to all of the teachers after class! You pass even the classes that you should absolutely fail, but not everyone is stupid. Does Jay know, Phoenix?"

There was something malicious glittering in her eyes that I didn't like.

"Know what?" My voice sounded dangerous even to me. Roxy and Lana both looked nervous, but Lucy was too caught up in the moment to stop now.

"Oh come on, Phoenix. Don't insult my intelligence. You act so innocent, and Merlin knows it's an impressive bit that you've got going, but I'm not fooled. After all, my godfather would never pass me in a subject just because of favoritism. It didn't take a lot to figure out that you must be giving Neville a little extra…incentive…to pass you-"

I had never been one for physical violence, so I surprised even myself by flying across the room and punching Lucy in the face. She screamed when I hit her, but it took only seconds before she retaliated, dragging her nails across my face so hard that I could feel the skin split. Though we had always kept it a secret from the parents, Lucy had a penchant for starting fights growing up, and it was obvious that she hadn't forgotten how to hold her own. She and Dom had rolled around in the dirt behind the Burrow many a time, fists and blood flying as Teddy and Vic tried to rip them apart. There was never a clear winner after these fights, for both always looked like they had tried to wrestle with a giant after they were separated.

Still, I was a Quidditch player, so even with the height advantage that Lucy had on me, it wasn't long before I had her pinned to the ground. I held her wrists down as I leaned over her, not looking to continue the fight physically. Starting it had been instinctive, after all.

"If I ever hear anything like that come out of your mouth again, I'll tell Neville and let him handle it, do you hear?" I spat, watching Lucy writhe beneath me as she tried to avoid the blood that was dripping off of my face. This wasn't like me, not at all, but it felt like the magic that normally stayed bound to my hands was now coursing through my entire body, filling me with an inhuman rage. When Lucy finally glanced up at me, her eyes widened with fear. I wondered what she saw in my gaze. "My life is far from perfect, so get over yourself. I've got more pressure on my shoulders right now than you could handle over the course of your lifetime! Fuck with me again and I promise you'll regret it. You may be my family, Lucy, but if you want to act like you're not then I'll treat you that way. It's only because you're my family that it's taken me this long to do something about you."

Lucy's eyes filled with tears, shoulders hitching as much as they could with me pinning her wrists to the floor as she began to cry. I slowly leaned back, letting her hands go so that she could wipe her face.

"Phoenix, I'm sorry," She said, her voice breaking. "You're right, I don't know you. I just…I'm going to fail my OWLs. Really, I think I might fail them. I can't keep up this year, and you just breeze through everything and I was so mad about it. You and Roxy are so close and everything seems to go your way. I'm sorry I took my problems out on you. I really am."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, which had been mostly pulled free of my updo. Though I was still so angry, I was also more than a little bit horrified by my own actions. A part of me may never forgive Lucy for taking my notes to help herself while potentially costing me points, and I would never forget what she had implied about my relationship with Neville, but she was my family. After a long moment, I climbed off of Lucy, holding a hand out to help her up.

"I'm sorry that I hit you. I don't know what came over me," I responded. She flinched when I summoned my bag, which made something twist in my gut. "I don't have time to tutor you, Lucy, but you should start coming to study with us. Also, you can go in to see our professors during their office hours. They're not going to just watch you fail if you try to get help. As for the prank during our first year-you're right. It was really, really shitty of me to use your insecurity against you. It'll never happen again, and I'm extremely sorry that it happened in the first place. I've been ashamed of it since it happened, but I should have taken the time to actually say something about it to you before now. Now, sit so that I can fix your face."

She sat obediently on the edge of the bed, letting me smear dittany and bruise-healing paste on the places that I had landed blows. Roxy handed a furious Circe, whom she had undoubtedly had to physically restrain to keep her out of the fight, to Lana. She crossed the room to take care of my face when I was done with Lucy, nodding when our cousin extended an apology to her as well. I didn't protest when she pulled my hair free, ducking around behind me to put it in a different style that made it less apparent that I had just gotten into a fist fight with my cousin.

Once we were cleaned up, I ducked behind the curtains of my bed to change into something blood-free. My hands were still shaking furiously, and I had so much pent up emotion that I had to let flames lick up and down my arms a few times before I could tug a clean shirt on and rejoin the room.

"Dinner," I commanded as I exited my space, looping my arm through Lucy's and ruffling Lana's hair when she gave me a look of surprise at the action.

The girls from our dorm were waiting on the couch when we left. Roxy and I passed them their money as subtly as possible, ignoring the way their lips parted with shock as they took in my arm hooked through Lucy's. The boys were coming down the stairs as we left, so we waited for them outside of the entrance hole.

"Care to explain why you two smell like blood?" Freddy whispered in my ear, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Just getting things sorted out before we go home," I shrugged, patting Lucy on the arm before I let go of her in favor of grabbing Jay's hand.

Roxy grabbed Lucy's hand in hers in my stead, holding on to Lana on her other side. Though we hadn't openly addressed the issue, most people in our year knew that we had been having issues with Lucy over the last few months, so we wanted to make it obvious that we had sorted everything.

I sat across from Lucy at dinner, thanking her for the bread that she passed and exchanging nods with James. He looked pleased, and I found myself praying that he wouldn't ask for too many details about how Lucy and I had worked things out.

A flash of ginger hair sitting a few people down from me had me leaning forward. "Sparky, did you invite Coleen yet?"

"Oh! I knew I was forgetting something!" She gasped, snapping her fingers as she turned to the blonde sitting beside her.

"That's fine!" I laughed at her exasperated expression. "You've been busy."

"Col, we're going Christmas shopping in a few weeks, if you want to come with us we can pick you up! I'll owl you with details soon," Lily promised, expression hopeful.

Coleen grinned. "Perfect! I'll definitely go along."

I chuckled as she then began teasing my sister for forgetting to invite her. From further down the table, Coleen was receiving a few envious looks from our classmates, which made me smirk. I hadn't forgotten what Jay had said about people finding her annoying.

"Hey," Jay said, drawing my attention when he tucked a bit of hair behind my ear as he spoke, "Would you want to come visit my grandparents over the break? We'll be there from the day after Christmas until it's time to go back to school, and they've been asking to see you."

"Yeah, I'll just have mum owl yours and get the details straightened out!" I responded, extremely excited at the prospect.

He grinned, pressing a kiss to the corner of my mouth. "Thanks, Marigold. They just love you, you know."

"I love them. I'm really looking forward to seeing them!"

I had met Jay's grandparents a handful of times when they came to visit. His mum's parents had died when she was in her late twenties, but Oliver's folks treated Alicia like she was their own child. His grandad was sarcastic and had a very dry sense of humor, while his gran was probably the sweetest woman I had ever met. She also pulled spectacular pranks on her husband any time that she saw the opportunity. I adored them both, and was thrilled that they seemed to feel the same way about me.

"Have you been practicing your Gaelic?" He asked, his tone a bit teasing.

I flushed. Though I really was working on learning the language, it was more difficult than I had been expecting. "I'm trying."

Jay chuckled. "I'm only teasing, Marigold. You're doing just fine."

I tipped my head against his shoulder, eating quickly. He glanced at my plate, then began eating a bit faster, taking his cues from me. When we were both done, I grabbed my bag and stood.

"Luce, your brush is on the bathroom counter, do you want me to stick it in your trunk when I gather Roxy's makeup?"

"Yes please. Thank you."

Jay slipped his hand in mine as we left the Great Hall. In a low voice, he said, "Since when were you two friendly again?"

"Since I punched her in the face."

He came to an abrupt stop, staring at me with wide eyes, clearly expecting me to tell him that I was joking. After a long minute, he said, "Not that I don't think you're justified, but what brought that on? That's not like you."

I sighed, waving my hands about anxiously. "That's the thing. It really isn't like me. You know how…you know what happens when I get mad?"

He nodded, glancing at my hands.

"Yeah, that. It normally stays in my hands, but I could feel it all over when I was fighting her. I don't even remember making the decision to punch her, my fist was just suddenly crashing into her face."

Jay's brow was furrowed as he pulled us back into motion, glancing about as we walked. "You've always had a bit of a temper, Phoe. Did she make you mad?"

I nodded. Had anyone else asked me that, I'd have been offended, thinking they weren't taking my concerns seriously. With Jay, however, it was obvious that he was working on a theory to explain my unexpected behavior.

"Fred was talking to me about his lycanthropy a bit. You know how the magic that comes from the wolf makes him get angrier than he used to?"

"Yeah?"

"Since you came back, I've noticed that you seem to have a shorter temper. Maybe the magic you have now is influencing that. It could be who you got it from, or it could just be that it's protective of you. Maybe it just amplifies your emotions, as well as your magic. Does that make sense?" He asked, running his fingers over my wrist as he spoke.

With a sigh, I nodded. "It does, it just sucks. I've always been able to control my temper; that's something I've prided myself in. Now I have one more thing to work on."

"We'll figure it out," He promised. "All of it, Marigold. I'm in this with you."

"I love you, Jay-bird."

"I love you, too."

---

The relief that I felt was practically tangible as we pulled into King's Cross Station. I had been desperately anticipating the break, wanting nothing more than to crawl into my own bed and forget about my responsibilities for at least a few days.

There was, however, one obstacle in my way that I didn't anticipate.

I exited the train with Roxy and Taylor, as Jay insisted on getting my trunk and therefore had to walk behind me a bit. The air outside was not as cold as I had expected, probably warmed by a combination of the locomotive having just stopped and the crush of bodies outside, but it was still chilly enough that I pulled the sleeves of my jumper over my hands to keep them warm.

Roxy stopped mid-sentence the second that her foot touched the ground, her head whipping around towards the platform.

"Rox?" Taylor asked, concerned, her hand rising to press against Roxy's shoulder blade as she tipped her head back to look Roxy in the eyes.

"They're not supposed to-Phoenix, they're here for you."

That was all the warning that I got before we were swarmed by reporters, who had apparently broken the rules surrounding when they were allowed to enter the platform in their eagerness to ask me questions. I tried not to look too alarmed as I was immediately pulled away from my cousin and her girlfriend, with the flashing lights on all sides making my head hurt almost immediately.

"Phoenix! Why did you turn down the internship with Minister Hastings?"

"Do you have a problem with the Ministry?"

"Phoenix!"

Taylor shoved someone away as they got too close to her, but they were surrounded on all sides as they tried to make their way towards me and I could see some of the attention shift to the two girls.

Go before they get nasty about you and Taylor.

Roxy flinched as I shouted the thought in my mind, knowing that she was undoubtedly being pelted by people's thoughts on the busy station. With an apologetic look, she grabbed a protesting Taylor and heeded my words.

Someone grabbed at my wrist, and I stumbled further back into the swarm as I dodged their grasp.

I hated when they touched me. There were a lot of things that the press weren't supposed to do, but they really weren't supposed to touch me.

"Phoenix, can you tell us why you don't want to work at the Ministry?" A reporter asked, standing so close to me that she was able to speak directly into my ear.

I flinched away from her, only to feel even more bodies jostling me as the group closed in around me.

"Minister Hastings has gone on record saying what a loss your internship is, can you comment on this?"

"Is it true that the Headmistress is against the program?"

The first rule of dealing with the press is never to address them directly. I had been taught this from a very young age. Still, their questions and accusations were unrelenting, even with my silence.

Jay was trying to push his way through the throng of reporters that surrounded me, Ben and Jack helping with what looked to be a combination of well-used blackmail and a deck of exploding snap cards, but I was being carried away from him by the sheer volume of people around me.

"Get back!" A voice roared, and a path cleared as people listened. James flung himself into the fray without a second thought, grabbing my arm and pulling me along with him.

"Don't let them touch me," I spoke directly into my twin's ear, "Throwing it at you."

He nodded, jaw tight as he used his hold on my wrist to pull me closer to his back. The crush of bodies around us got less pressing as my brother began using his free hand to physically shove people out of his way, which soon had reporters taking a few hasty steps back once we were close enough in order to avoid being pushed.

"Auror's department! You're in violation of the law surrounding minor privacy rights while in school!" A familiar voice shouted. "Christmas break does not technically start for another 15 minutes, so clear out before I start putting you in handcuffs!"

James continued towing me towards our father's voice. A concerned glance saw Don, Arnold, and Conner struggling to hold Freddy back while Ross determinedly tried to use his body to hide the boy's golden eyes and fierce snarl from the reporters. Roxy and Taylor were standing nearby, Nikki hovering uncertainly between the two groups.

Grab everyone and let's go. Ours or not, just get everyone out.

Roxy surged forward, grabbing Freddy's arm and tugging his head down so that she could whisper in his ear. When he looked at me, I nodded, watching him come back to himself at once. The boys around him accepted his wordless apology easily, moving into the slowly dissipating crowd with what looked to be a lot of well-placed elbows. Jay, Ben, and Jack had doubled back at some point, probably after James got to me, and were now trying to usher Lily, Lorcan, Coleen, Al, and Scorpius through the crowd. Try as I might, I couldn't see Alice or Lysander, so I could only hope that they hadn't been caught up in everything.

The parents had formed a barricade, with everyone who hadn't stayed behind to try and help me already standing behind them. Teddy and Levi had reached James and I, but Teddy accepted my point towards our younger siblings without question, leaving Levi to get us to the parents while Ted went to help Jay and the others.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled as we finally caught up with everyone else.

"For what?" Taylor asked, voice sharp and commanding once again. "You have nothing to be sorry for. This is on them."

"It's just embarrassing."

"Perhaps the Minister shouldn't be airing your business out," Lucy said very quietly, keeping her voice too low for the lingering reporters to hear. I could see the apology and understanding in her eyes as she looked at me. She gave me a small smile when I nodded at her in response.

"Well, I'll be here for a bit," Ben announced as he finally reached us, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I instinctively curled one hand around his forearm in response, my other arm still out of commission due to James's fingers, which were firmly gripping my wrist as though he were still waiting to tug me away from any lingering threats-which he probably was.

"Don't be silly," Mum said, giving me a once over as she turned towards us, her eyes full of concern. "We'll take you home. Your dad normally picks you up in disguise after the press leaves, right? We can just let you use our floo so that he doesn't have to bother."

"Thank you," Ben said, his relief obvious. "That would be great."

"I'm okay," I told my parents as they both turned their attention on me. "Let's just get home, please."

"Utterly ridiculous," Mum muttered to dad as we left, glaring protectively as we passed a handful of press. "The man already has a new assistant; I have no idea why he's making such a fuss out of this!"

Only a few reporters lingered on the platform, but they were all over when we crossed the barrier. Fortunately, they were simultaneously wary enough of my parents and of drawing too much attention from the muggles present that they did nothing more than take pictures of us as we passed.

---

At the house, Aunt Hermione reached out and lightly hooked a finger through the chain of my necklace, smiling at the little charms that adorned it. I offered her a smile, secretly wishing that she hadn't decided to grab my necklace while I was in the process of removing my shoes.

"These are pretty. I like the sugar skull," She nodded.

"What's a sugar skull?" Uncle Ron asked, leaning his head over her shoulder to peer at the charm. "Oh, that was in the book that we read on the run! About all of the symbols of death and rebirth across cultures."

Aunt Hermione turned to beam at her husband, thankfully releasing me as she did so. The man blushed red under her affectionate gaze. So occupied with each other they were that both missed the way that my head snapped up to look at them, eyes wide.

"You read that?" She asked, stroking his cheek gently.

Uncle Ron grinned. "Always the tone of surprise. Of course I read it. You asked me to look through it and see if there was anything that you might have missed."

"Can I read it?" I asked, trying to keep the desperate hope from bleeding into my tone. That book sounded like exactly the sort of thing that I had been looking for.

Uncle Ron looked sheepish as he turned his gaze back on me. "Phoe, I'm really sorry, but that book was in my pack that the snatchers took. I haven't seen it since the night that we got snatched."

We both glanced at Aunt Hermione, who gazed steadily back at us.

"It's fine. That was a long time ago," She told us, her tone gentle. Then she turned a deeply apologetic look on me. "Phoenix, I'll try my best to find you a copy of that book, but I haven't ever encountered another one, so I'm afraid it's probably pretty rare. It was one of the books that I stole from Professor Dumbledore after he died."

"Thank you" I said, knowing that my information-loving aunt would do anything in her power to deliver the book to me if it was possible. "Actually, could you help me with something else when you have a moment free? I'm trying to develop a salve to help with Freddy's scars from the attack, and I thought that adjusting the one that you created for your scars might work. Maybe we could combine it with some of the stuff in wolfsbane potion? Lily would like to help too, if you're up for it."

She lit up at the idea of a challenge, not even bothering to agree to my request as she began to rattle off ideas that we could try. We spent the rest of the evening experimenting, with Lily and Victoire assisting us while the boys and Rose helped mum with the Christmas decorations.

Later that evening, my aunt passed me a slip of paper.

"I'll ask around, but just in case you happen to stumble across it. You should at least know what you're looking for," Aunt Hermione told me.

The paper read "The Symbols and Tools of Death and Rebirth: A Worldwide Encyclopedia".

My desperation to get my hands on a copy of the book grew after reading the title.

Though I had been eagerly anticipating being home for months, that night I couldn't fall asleep. There was something nagging me, something that had been lurking in the back of my mind for days.

A cold chill ran through me as I figured it out. It explained why Jay hadn't said anything-because, as far as he knew, everyone had been under the impression that I was in the library on the night of the attack.

I, however, had forgotten one very, very crucial bit of information.

Ari Chang had been the one to find me on that night, not in the library at all, but sprawled out in the hallway looking like I had just been tortured.

Roxy mentioned Chang had gone to work in the Ministry after he graduated. Mum's comment about Hastings' new assistant once again popped into my mind, but now I found myself wishing that I had asked her about it when she first brought it up.

I would need to carefully figure this out. If I was correct and Hastings found out that I was sniffing around after Chang, he might realize that I was beginning to put things together. If I was truly on the cusp of figuring out something important, I would need to be very cautious moving forward. I would continue to try and keep an eye on Holland, find out what I could about Chang (the press's current obsession with the internship program may actually work in my favor for that), and try to find the book that Uncle Ron had mentioned.

Slowly, I was putting the pieces together. I could feel it.

For the first time, I felt as though the gods' faith in me might not have been misplaced. Maybe I could defeat Hastings after all.

I slept peacefully after that.

---

For anyone who may be interested, there will eventually be a chapter up on The Moments in Between where we see what happened when Phoenix, Jay, and Freddy tried the candies from Dom. It's just a fun little moment, so keep an eye out for it :)

As always, thank you all for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following!