Chapter 17: Wind Beneath My Wings
August 31, 1942
Tomorrow is the day! I really can't believe that this would ever happen. I really never thought I would be getting married to Rolfe, but here I am today getting my dress fitted. Well actually we all were down at the market making sure our dresses were all in order. It was a very fun girls day out. After that we picked up some flowers that Marta and Gretl are making into bouquets. They insisted they would be the ones to make the bouquets. It did drop the price of the wedding some however. Well we were doing last minute preparations for the wedding Father and Rolfe took the boys to get their tux's fit. That took them a very short time however. They planned to go fishing until we got back. Mother said it was pathetic how woman always have so much to do the day before their wedding day and the men have nothing better to do than fish. Father offered to help, but Mother just told him what we do is a girl's job anyways and he would not be capable of handling it.
We got home that night and ate dinner as a family. We sang for a while after. Then we decided we better get some rest for the wedding in the morning. Before we went to sleep Mother announced she was pregnant again. Everyone is so excited. I am excited but saddened too. I will not get to see my little sister and brother grow up here. I feel the same way about all my little sisters and brothers. I feel bad for leaving them. It is my sincere hope that Rolfe and I will live near here so I can still see all of them once in a while. I want to know them. I don't want them to think of me as a distant relative.
I went up to sleep and soon found I could not sleep. I lay in my bed praying to God that the next day would go smoothly and he would calm my nerves. I heard a knock on the door and told whoever it was to come in. Father came in holding a small box. He sat down next to me on the bed. He smiled at me.
"Yes Father?" I asked. I could see the tears forming in his eyes.
"Liesl, I am so proud and happy for you." He said putting his arm around me. "I can't believe my little girl is getting married." I couldn't bear to look at his eyes because I knew I would begin to cry.
"I can't believe it either." I told him honestly.
"You know I still remember vividly when I first held you when you were a little girl. Your Mother always told you later your first word was "Mom". You know what though? The day you were born I picked you up and you shouted "Dad" right when I picked you up." Father said.
"Mother did always tell me my first word was Mom." I said smiling.
"Yea, well she was in denial I believe." We both laughed. "Liesl I am sorry I wasn't there for you for some of the most important times in your life. I am so grateful to Maria. If it wasn't for her I might still be gone. I thought if I stayed away from you the pain would go away easier, but I was wrong." Tears started to well up in my eyes.
"Father we were always right there waiting for you. We knew you loved us." I said giving him a hug.
"Here Liesl, I think your Mother would want you to have this." Father said as he reached into the box and pulled out a ring. "I know she would be very proud of you." He smiled.
"You mean she is proud Father." He stared at me questionably. "She is proud of me…up in heaven." Father's face lit up.
"Yes I am sure she is Liesl. Now get some sleep so you won't be sleepwalking down the aisle tomorrow." Father said with a loving smirk. I had to smile at him. He began to shut the door, but I stopped him. I had to ask him the question I really wanted to know.
"Father?" He stopped dead in his tracks.
"Yes Liesl?"
"Can I ask you something?" I ask him. He sees it's serious and walks over to where I am laying and looks up at me waiting for me to begin.
"You and Mother make it seem so easy. Is being married easy Father?" He gives me a surprised smile. I knew he must have been expecting me to ask Mother about these types of things.
"Well Liesl. Usually it is difficult to be married, but you make it work when you love someone." He said.
"Usually?" I ask interested.
"Well when you are married to Maria it is easy."
"Was it not that easy with Mother?" I ask.
"Well I guess it was just different with your Mother. We loved each other of course, but there were a lot of disagreements, arguments, and hard times. I don't know, with Maria we have our disagreements, but they never lead to full out fights…I don't think they ever will. Sometimes people also seem fall less in love with each other when they are married. With Maria though…gosh I just seem to plunge farther in love with her each day…She saved our lives you know." He told me with tears in his eyes. I had to smile.
"Yea she did save us… Father?" He looked up at me again.
"Do you love her more than Mother?" I ask.
"Is this a good question to be answering, Liesl? I think I will hurt you either way with the truth." He told me.
"Oh no Father I just want to know. Why would I be hurt by it? Really I just want to know the truth." I reply. He smiled up at me with love in his eyes.
"Yes Liesl I do love Maria more than Agatha. That's not saying that I didn't love your Mother. I did, but I love Maria more than anything in this universe. She is the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me." He said.
"That's what I thought." I said.
"Will you do me a favor? Ask that same first question to your Mother and report back to me." I laughed at his mischievous grin and I gave him another hug. Then we heard a knock on the door.
"Come in." I shouted. Mother walked in and looked at us both.
"Georg, you told me five minutes. You have been in here for an half of an hour." She said as Father stepped toward Mother to kiss her. Mother broke up the kiss, much to the dismay of Father. "You are also keeping Liesl up. She needs to be in bed. She has to look beautiful tomorrow."
"What you don't think our daughter will be beautiful with dark circles under her eyes?" He asked. Mother glared at him. I had to laugh at the two of them. They are so funny together. You can tell they are flat out in love with each other.
"Well of course, my dear, she will always be beautiful to us, but maybe not to all those people she has to stand in front of tomorrow." She looks at me and must have seen my face grow concerned. I still dislike big crowds just staring at me.
"Ssssssh, stop it. You are making her nervous." Father said.
"And what exactly have you been talking to her about? Were you calming her down?" She asked suspiciously.
"As a matter of fact yes." He replied. Then I cut him off.
"We were actually just talking about you Mother." I told her.
"Oh what about?" She asked looking knowingly at her husband.
"Oh nothing, Father was just talking about how you were the best thing that ever happened to him." I told her. Mother looked at us both, unconvinced.
"I doubt he said that." She told us.
"It is true my love." Father answered giving her a kiss and heading for the door. "Now I will give you ten minutes to talk to Liesl because, like you said my love, she needs her beauty rest and I need to sleep too." Mother turned to him.
"Well then go to sleep now Georg, if you're so tired, you don't have to wait for me." She answered.
"Oh yes I do my love. I can't sleep when you are not there beside me." He answered with a smile as he left. Mother just rolled her eyes.
"Men." She muttered under her breath pretending to be annoyed, but her eyes were full with love. Focusing her attention to me a smile spread across her face.
"Liesl, my darling, I am so happy and proud of you!" She said giving me a hug. She looked into my eyes and perhaps saw the fear in my eyes.
"Are you alright Liesl?" She asked. "Your Father was supposed to be calming you down." Sudden unexpected tears fell from my eyes.
"Mother I am so scared." I said honestly. Mother took me in arms.
"Of what my girl?"
"Of everything. Oh Mother I don't know if I am ready for this. Getting married is so huge. I don't think I am ready to grow up. I am only twenty. I still feel like a little kid. Also I have to leave you. I am not going to be able to see you and my brothers and sisters everyday. This has always been my home." I answer.
"Liesl my child you are ready. As much as your Father and I don't want to see you grow up, that is life. You will always be our little girl no matter what. You know what else Liesl? You will always have a home here. If you live close by you can come visit as often as you like. We wouldn't want it any other way." She told me. I smiled, as some of my worry about leaving my family vanished.
"Does that make you feel better?" She asked. I mumbled to her that it kindov did. She smiled like she knew there was something else. "What else is wrong Liesl?"
"I am terrified Mother." I told her.
"Of what?"
"Of him." I said in fear.
"Of Rolfe?" She asks.
"Yes" I mumble hugging her tighter for protection. "Mother there are so many things I don't know. What if he gets upset?" I ask.
"Oh you mean after the wedding huh?" Mother said a smile spread across her face and soon she was laughing. I looked at her slightly embarrassed because of her giggles.
"Mother this is serious." I tell her. This makes her laugh harder.
"I know Liesl I am sorry." She says trying to calm down. Once she did she began to talk. "You know Liesl I was terrified too."
"You were?" I ask her.
"Of course I was, I think every woman is. Liesl it is okay to be nervous and scared. I was probably the most scared newlywed in the history of the world." She told me.
"Really?" I asked. She laughed a little.
"Liesl I was supposed to be a nun remember? Before your Father I never really had a boyfriend or anything like that. I had never even really been kissed. So I was in total panic to say the least." She told me. I had to laugh at her. I just could not picture her as a nun without Father. Actually I could not picture Father and our family without her either.
"You ended up being fine though right?" I asked.
"Of course Liesl. There are just some situations that God teaches you what to do when you are in them. Liesl, all you are doing is following the will of God. God would never put you in a situation to hurt you, so you have to believe you will be fine. Anyways, your husband loves you and would never want to upset you." The love in her eyes was evident, and I could tell she was thinking about Father.
"Is marriage hard work Mother?" I ask.
"Usually it is Liesl. If you truly love the person you are with though it works out. You will have your days and argue, but most of the time it is wonderful. That is what I heard anyways. With me personally though, I would say it is never difficult. We just seem to get along so wonderfully. Some people say you fall less and less in love with the people you marry, but I seem to fall more and more in love with him with each passing day." She tells me. I had to smile while remembering Father's similar words.
"You really love him don't you?" I ask. She smiles up at me and replies.
"Yes I do Liesl. More than anything in the world. I am sure you and Rolfe will be just as happy." I give her a big hug as she says that. Then she thinks for a minute. "Well I take that back, maybe not as happy as us, because your Father and I are the happiest and luckiest people in all the world." I laugh a little bit.
"Thank you Mother." I say and I hug her tight.
"Your welcome Liesl I am glad that you talked to me. Liesl have I ever told you how much I love you? I am so thankful that you let me come into your life. I love it when you call me Mother. I just hope I am doing a good enough job at being you children's Mother." She told me seriously.
"Oh Mother how can you even say something like that. You are the best Mother ever." Mother's face lit up. "You know what else Mother? I am so thankful to you. I never thought I would be able to cry into my Mother's arms again." This brought tears to both of our eyes. We hugged each other tightly. "I love you mom. You are my hero." I whispered. Through her tears Mother told me she loved me. Once we settled down Mother told me I should get some rest. We joked a little about how it had been way more than ten minutes of talking we did. Mother told me that Father would probably be very upset. I looked concerned and she then smiled and told me he would be in his usual jokingly upset mood. I laughed as Mother went to the door.
"I love you Liesl." She told me. Before she closed the door I mumbled.
"I love you too Mother." I could not help, but feel completely wonderful. Mother always made me feel better. Mother. My Mother. I really meant every word I said. She is the best Mother anyone could ask for. I am so happy that she is mine. She is really my hero. I look up to her so much even before she was my Mother. She is the one that has influenced me to become who I am. I look up to her so much she is always there for me and I find myself wishing to be just like my Mother. I love her more than anything. God has truly blessed me with her. She is like my guardian angel. I just hope she knows how much I love her.
I said a prayer to my Mother and God in heaven asking them to guide me and to help calm my nerves. A sudden calmness came over me as I realized how blessed I was to have such a loving family who would all be there for me tomorrow, and always, supporting me and believing in me, even when I feel like I am incapable of doing things. Last I thanked God for the Mother that he blessed my whole family with for the rest of our lives. My Mother. I realize it more and more with each passing day that my Mother is the wind beneath my families, and my, wings.
To Be Concluded…
Notes:
Well I don't know but I think that was a pretty good chapter. You have usually have done something right when you cry, as you are proof reading it right? So I was either crying because it was good or because it was terrible. You tell me, good or bad? Please review!!!!!!!!! I want to know what you thought and maybe I can improve it (before I am done with this story!)…So pretty please review!