Chapter 7: Discoveries
Life progressed fairly normally for the next few weeks. Susan and Luka timed their shifts around Susie and each other and their relationship became more and more intense. There had even been talk of moving in together. The papers came through declaring Susan Susie's official guardian. Susan was happy, wallowing in the delights of a steady relationship. It was all too good to be true. It was.
Two months after the first kiss, Luka and Susan had decided to take Susie and Luann out to the zoo. That was when the first argument arose. It was silly and trivial but Susan knew it was the beginning of a downhill snowball. They had made up again afterward (several times) but soon they were arguing and fighting about the dumbest of things. "I feel so stupid." Susan confided in Abby one day at one of their weekly coffee meets. "Just remember. Luka likes to care, he wants to show he loves you. I'm sure you'll get over it. Even the greatest relationships have some flaws." Susan had agreed with Abby then but two weeks later she wasn't so sure. She found herself relying more and more on Georgia and Tim to help take care of Susie, because while Luka was happy to look after the little girl he found himself becoming more and more awkward around Susan. As their three-month anniversary came around things finally came to a head. They had been out at a party at a friend of Luka's house. Both Susan and Luka got a little tipsy and had reverted to their previously passionate selves, although the next morning they found themselves deeply regretting their actions. "We shouldn't have done that." Susan told him the next day. "What's that supposed to mean?" Luka urged. Susan found herself forced to explain that their relationship was diminishing. Luka agreed, packed up his things and told Susan he'd see her at work. "I guess we'll call it quits then." Susan sighed as he left. Luka nodded and gave her a goodbye kiss on her forehead, he looked very apologetic, which made Susan wonder if she was doing the right things. Scolding herself she decided that, for Susie's sake, they would be better off apart. Within a week Luka's things had been removed from Susan's apartment and although they attempted to be civil towards one another at work they both found that they had nothing to say which often resulted in long, uncomfortable silences, so for most of the time neither one spoke to the other.
"This is Emily Ritchie, twenty-seven, thirty-two weeks pregnant. In labor." The paramedic barked, "Witness to the Hampton Street shooting, police need to speak to her." "Hello Emily. I'm Doctor Lewis. We're going to check you over and then send you upstairs to deliver your baby. Is there anyone we can call?" Emily shook her head then winced at the force of another contraction. "How far apart are they now?" "Less than a minute." "Okay looks like your baby doesn't want to wait. We may have to deliver it here." "What? Why?" Emily breathed. "Well unless you want it born in the elevator." Susan offered, "are you sure there's no one you want us to call?"
The birth was quick but painful. At each contraction Susan found herself wincing with Emily. She reminded herself of the joys of having children around and of the miracle of childbirth, none of it helped. She could feel Emily's pain. No, literally! She felt as if all her abdominal muscles had tensed up, sort of nauseating. Susan stopped and put her hand to her belly before instructing a final push and congratulating Emily on the birth of her baby daughter, who despite being very early, was a healthy six pounds, seven ounces and had an excellent pair of lungs. "We'll send you both upstairs in a minute Emily." Susan told the exhausted woman, "Do you have a name for her yet?" Emily looked down and stared into the face of her newborn baby daughter, she sighed and wistfully murmured, "Sarah, my little princess Sarah." As she was wheeled off 'upstairs'.
Susan sighed and tossed her bloodied gloves into the yellow bag. "Well done." Luka congratulated her as she stepped outside the room. "It was a straightforward birth." She replied stiffly. She felt a slight twinge of pain in her abdomen and a wave of nausea washed over her. "I'm sorry Luka, I have to go." She gasped and sped off down the corridor. "Susan!" Kerry yelled as she passed, but Susan just ran on by. In the washrooms her stomach heaved and emptied, leaving Susan cold and dizzy. Leaning over the toilet Susan coughed a couple more times before heading over to the sink. She leaned heavily on it and stared at her reflection; her cheeks were pinking, she didn't look very ill. Subdued, she splashed some cold water onto her face. "Susan? Are you okay? Weaver sent me." Abby poked her head round the door to the bathroom. "Sure I'm fine. Thanks Abby." Susan replied walking to the door. "I'm fine." She repeated more to herself than to Abby.
Later that night Susan dropped into a late night pharmacy, she spotted the kits straight away but, for some reason, found herself reluctant to buy one. After much deliberation she chose one costing $5.60 and paid for it. There was no reaction from the girl on the counter; no congratulatory smile, no sympathetic sigh. Just a slight moan of annoyance at having to take the ten-dollar bill and hand back four-forty change. Susan put the kit in her bag and tried to forget about it by turning her car radio up extra loud. Susie had been staying at Luann's house, so wearily Susan climbed the three stories to Georgia's apartment. "Hi Susan. You look tired. Do you want to come in for a coffee?" "No, I'm fine. Has Susie been okay?" Susan asked stepping inside. Susan and Georgia chatted for twenty minutes or so before Susan left with Susie. Once back at their apartment Susan gave Susie some supper and a bath, all the while tenderly touching her abdomen and thinking of the package in her bag. "Auntie Susan. Do you have a sore tummy?" Susie asked as Susan tucked her up in bed, touching her belly for the fiftieth time. "No, Honey. I'm fine. Sleep well." Susan replied, hurriedly leaving the room.
An hour later Susan stood in the bathroom. Her hands were trembling and her heart was racing, she didn't know whether to be overjoyed or disappointed. There was a thin blue line stretching from one end of the stick to the other, it's twin stretched out beside it. She was pregnant. It was obviously Luka's. She had to speak to him, not at work; everyone there would find out soon enough. Her hand shook as she dialed the number. She listened to the ringing, the soothing, rhythmic 'brrr, brrr'. "Hello?" Luka's deep Croatian voice jerked her from her thoughts. "Luka? I need to talk to you. Can you come over?" Susan asked, feeling strangely emotionless. "Sure. What's up?" He replied, his mind whirling, 'Was something wrong? Was Susie okay? Was she okay?' "I'll tell you when you come round." Susan told him, hanging up. "Okay - " Luka began and finished realizing that Susan had gone. He grabbed his jacket and made for the door before realizing that he had forgotten his car keys and apartment keys. One hundred and one thoughts were whizzing round his mind. As he left he threw a glance at the clock in the kitchen it said 10:44. 'Susan's VCR would say 9:05,' he though as he climbed into the car. Back at Susan's apartment Susan was pacing the room. She had no idea how she was supposed to tell him. How could she break it to him gently? How would he react? Why had this happened? Tears of frustration fell down her cheeks as she pondered fiercely what to tell Luka. A knock at the door made her start. That would be Luka, Mrs. Neville must have let him in again. Cautiously she opened the door and let Luka in. "Susan? What's the matter?" He asked when he saw her tear stained cheeks. He reached out his arms to her. She moved away. "I'm pregnant Luka, I'm pregnant."
Luka watched her speechlessly. She was leaning against the kitchen counter with her head in her hands. She wanted to let him comfort her but something was stopping her. "It's mine?" Luka asked. Susan raised her head, she wanted to yell or scream at him. Of course it was his, he knew that, he had to. "Are you keeping it?" Luka felt really out of place. When his wife had told him she was pregnant he had been overjoyed, but now he felt as if he was a stowaway in someone else's body and was watching from the sidelines. "I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do. Luka. I'm sorry." Susan said, wiping her eyes. "Susan. We need to work this out. It's my baby too." Susan nodded. "You don't have to worry. I can manage by myself. I coped with Susie." "You shouldn't have to." Luka blurted out without thinking. "We should have been more careful." Susan decided after a long pause. She moved out of the kitchen to sit heavily on the couch. Luka sat down beside her and took her hand in his. "We'll get through this. I promise."
Two weeks passed. Luka had done all he could to be involved. He'd gone with Susan for an appointment at the clinic at Mercy and even wandered around a few baby shops. Apart from that he and Susan didn't really see much of each other out of work. Susan and Georgia together found a young babysitter named Hannah Shannon, who was willing to look after Susie and Luann at the same time; so Susan no longer needed Luka's help in that department. She was even beginning to grow on the idea of being a single Mom. She did her best to reduce her workload but the absence of early morning caffeine had its effect on her and she looked and felt physically drained. Abby was the first to notice. "Susan, are you feeling okay?" She asked in the canteen on lunch break. "Sure, great." Susan replied, not looking up from the plate on which was the salad she had been playing with. "Susan. Come on, be honest. You know he's not worth this." "What?" Susan looked up sharply. "Luka. Isn't that what this is all about?" "No." Susan grabbed her unfinished meal and made to go. "Aren't you going to eat that?" Abby asked as Susan began to leave. "Couldn't keep it down if I wanted to." Susan stated bluntly as she sat back down, overcome with dizziness and nausea. Knowing what Abby would say next she stared absently at her lap. "Susan? Are you pregnant?" Abby whispered. Tears filled Susan's eyes but didn't leave, slowly she nodded. "And it's Luka's?" Susan nodded again, Abby sat back triumphantly know that she had solved the riddle. "Does he know?" Another nod, "and what did he say?" Susan wiped her eyes, sighed and looked up. "He wants to be involved, this is our baby and it's a part of each of us." She paused "Only there is no us." Susan and Abby sat in silence for a while then Susan checked her watch and announced that she had to go. She left with best part of and unfinished salad on her plate. Abby watched her friends go, sighed and then reminded herself that it wasn't her place to get involved, before finishing her bun.
"Is there a Doctor Lewis there please? A Doctor Susan Lewis?" The self- important male voice at the other end of the phone inquired. "Sure. Yes. I think she's on her lunch break right now." Frank told the man. "Oh. wait, here she comes." He put a hand over the receiver and hissed at Susan. "It's for you Doctor Lewis." She took the phone and feeling another wash of nausea quickly sat down at the desk. "Doctor Lewis speaking." "Hello, this is police detective Nicholas Hooper. We think we've found your sister." He asked her a few questions about Chloe and her disappearance. "Thank you. I'm afraid it's not good news. I'll send someone along to collect you shortly." Then the line went dead. Susan sat trying to figure out what this police officer was trying to tell her, it was bad news. Another wave of nausea filled her, a different kind of sickness, Susan slammed down the phone and ran off down the corridor leaving the few members of staff stood at the admit desk staring after her in confusion.
Life progressed fairly normally for the next few weeks. Susan and Luka timed their shifts around Susie and each other and their relationship became more and more intense. There had even been talk of moving in together. The papers came through declaring Susan Susie's official guardian. Susan was happy, wallowing in the delights of a steady relationship. It was all too good to be true. It was.
Two months after the first kiss, Luka and Susan had decided to take Susie and Luann out to the zoo. That was when the first argument arose. It was silly and trivial but Susan knew it was the beginning of a downhill snowball. They had made up again afterward (several times) but soon they were arguing and fighting about the dumbest of things. "I feel so stupid." Susan confided in Abby one day at one of their weekly coffee meets. "Just remember. Luka likes to care, he wants to show he loves you. I'm sure you'll get over it. Even the greatest relationships have some flaws." Susan had agreed with Abby then but two weeks later she wasn't so sure. She found herself relying more and more on Georgia and Tim to help take care of Susie, because while Luka was happy to look after the little girl he found himself becoming more and more awkward around Susan. As their three-month anniversary came around things finally came to a head. They had been out at a party at a friend of Luka's house. Both Susan and Luka got a little tipsy and had reverted to their previously passionate selves, although the next morning they found themselves deeply regretting their actions. "We shouldn't have done that." Susan told him the next day. "What's that supposed to mean?" Luka urged. Susan found herself forced to explain that their relationship was diminishing. Luka agreed, packed up his things and told Susan he'd see her at work. "I guess we'll call it quits then." Susan sighed as he left. Luka nodded and gave her a goodbye kiss on her forehead, he looked very apologetic, which made Susan wonder if she was doing the right things. Scolding herself she decided that, for Susie's sake, they would be better off apart. Within a week Luka's things had been removed from Susan's apartment and although they attempted to be civil towards one another at work they both found that they had nothing to say which often resulted in long, uncomfortable silences, so for most of the time neither one spoke to the other.
"This is Emily Ritchie, twenty-seven, thirty-two weeks pregnant. In labor." The paramedic barked, "Witness to the Hampton Street shooting, police need to speak to her." "Hello Emily. I'm Doctor Lewis. We're going to check you over and then send you upstairs to deliver your baby. Is there anyone we can call?" Emily shook her head then winced at the force of another contraction. "How far apart are they now?" "Less than a minute." "Okay looks like your baby doesn't want to wait. We may have to deliver it here." "What? Why?" Emily breathed. "Well unless you want it born in the elevator." Susan offered, "are you sure there's no one you want us to call?"
The birth was quick but painful. At each contraction Susan found herself wincing with Emily. She reminded herself of the joys of having children around and of the miracle of childbirth, none of it helped. She could feel Emily's pain. No, literally! She felt as if all her abdominal muscles had tensed up, sort of nauseating. Susan stopped and put her hand to her belly before instructing a final push and congratulating Emily on the birth of her baby daughter, who despite being very early, was a healthy six pounds, seven ounces and had an excellent pair of lungs. "We'll send you both upstairs in a minute Emily." Susan told the exhausted woman, "Do you have a name for her yet?" Emily looked down and stared into the face of her newborn baby daughter, she sighed and wistfully murmured, "Sarah, my little princess Sarah." As she was wheeled off 'upstairs'.
Susan sighed and tossed her bloodied gloves into the yellow bag. "Well done." Luka congratulated her as she stepped outside the room. "It was a straightforward birth." She replied stiffly. She felt a slight twinge of pain in her abdomen and a wave of nausea washed over her. "I'm sorry Luka, I have to go." She gasped and sped off down the corridor. "Susan!" Kerry yelled as she passed, but Susan just ran on by. In the washrooms her stomach heaved and emptied, leaving Susan cold and dizzy. Leaning over the toilet Susan coughed a couple more times before heading over to the sink. She leaned heavily on it and stared at her reflection; her cheeks were pinking, she didn't look very ill. Subdued, she splashed some cold water onto her face. "Susan? Are you okay? Weaver sent me." Abby poked her head round the door to the bathroom. "Sure I'm fine. Thanks Abby." Susan replied walking to the door. "I'm fine." She repeated more to herself than to Abby.
Later that night Susan dropped into a late night pharmacy, she spotted the kits straight away but, for some reason, found herself reluctant to buy one. After much deliberation she chose one costing $5.60 and paid for it. There was no reaction from the girl on the counter; no congratulatory smile, no sympathetic sigh. Just a slight moan of annoyance at having to take the ten-dollar bill and hand back four-forty change. Susan put the kit in her bag and tried to forget about it by turning her car radio up extra loud. Susie had been staying at Luann's house, so wearily Susan climbed the three stories to Georgia's apartment. "Hi Susan. You look tired. Do you want to come in for a coffee?" "No, I'm fine. Has Susie been okay?" Susan asked stepping inside. Susan and Georgia chatted for twenty minutes or so before Susan left with Susie. Once back at their apartment Susan gave Susie some supper and a bath, all the while tenderly touching her abdomen and thinking of the package in her bag. "Auntie Susan. Do you have a sore tummy?" Susie asked as Susan tucked her up in bed, touching her belly for the fiftieth time. "No, Honey. I'm fine. Sleep well." Susan replied, hurriedly leaving the room.
An hour later Susan stood in the bathroom. Her hands were trembling and her heart was racing, she didn't know whether to be overjoyed or disappointed. There was a thin blue line stretching from one end of the stick to the other, it's twin stretched out beside it. She was pregnant. It was obviously Luka's. She had to speak to him, not at work; everyone there would find out soon enough. Her hand shook as she dialed the number. She listened to the ringing, the soothing, rhythmic 'brrr, brrr'. "Hello?" Luka's deep Croatian voice jerked her from her thoughts. "Luka? I need to talk to you. Can you come over?" Susan asked, feeling strangely emotionless. "Sure. What's up?" He replied, his mind whirling, 'Was something wrong? Was Susie okay? Was she okay?' "I'll tell you when you come round." Susan told him, hanging up. "Okay - " Luka began and finished realizing that Susan had gone. He grabbed his jacket and made for the door before realizing that he had forgotten his car keys and apartment keys. One hundred and one thoughts were whizzing round his mind. As he left he threw a glance at the clock in the kitchen it said 10:44. 'Susan's VCR would say 9:05,' he though as he climbed into the car. Back at Susan's apartment Susan was pacing the room. She had no idea how she was supposed to tell him. How could she break it to him gently? How would he react? Why had this happened? Tears of frustration fell down her cheeks as she pondered fiercely what to tell Luka. A knock at the door made her start. That would be Luka, Mrs. Neville must have let him in again. Cautiously she opened the door and let Luka in. "Susan? What's the matter?" He asked when he saw her tear stained cheeks. He reached out his arms to her. She moved away. "I'm pregnant Luka, I'm pregnant."
Luka watched her speechlessly. She was leaning against the kitchen counter with her head in her hands. She wanted to let him comfort her but something was stopping her. "It's mine?" Luka asked. Susan raised her head, she wanted to yell or scream at him. Of course it was his, he knew that, he had to. "Are you keeping it?" Luka felt really out of place. When his wife had told him she was pregnant he had been overjoyed, but now he felt as if he was a stowaway in someone else's body and was watching from the sidelines. "I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do. Luka. I'm sorry." Susan said, wiping her eyes. "Susan. We need to work this out. It's my baby too." Susan nodded. "You don't have to worry. I can manage by myself. I coped with Susie." "You shouldn't have to." Luka blurted out without thinking. "We should have been more careful." Susan decided after a long pause. She moved out of the kitchen to sit heavily on the couch. Luka sat down beside her and took her hand in his. "We'll get through this. I promise."
Two weeks passed. Luka had done all he could to be involved. He'd gone with Susan for an appointment at the clinic at Mercy and even wandered around a few baby shops. Apart from that he and Susan didn't really see much of each other out of work. Susan and Georgia together found a young babysitter named Hannah Shannon, who was willing to look after Susie and Luann at the same time; so Susan no longer needed Luka's help in that department. She was even beginning to grow on the idea of being a single Mom. She did her best to reduce her workload but the absence of early morning caffeine had its effect on her and she looked and felt physically drained. Abby was the first to notice. "Susan, are you feeling okay?" She asked in the canteen on lunch break. "Sure, great." Susan replied, not looking up from the plate on which was the salad she had been playing with. "Susan. Come on, be honest. You know he's not worth this." "What?" Susan looked up sharply. "Luka. Isn't that what this is all about?" "No." Susan grabbed her unfinished meal and made to go. "Aren't you going to eat that?" Abby asked as Susan began to leave. "Couldn't keep it down if I wanted to." Susan stated bluntly as she sat back down, overcome with dizziness and nausea. Knowing what Abby would say next she stared absently at her lap. "Susan? Are you pregnant?" Abby whispered. Tears filled Susan's eyes but didn't leave, slowly she nodded. "And it's Luka's?" Susan nodded again, Abby sat back triumphantly know that she had solved the riddle. "Does he know?" Another nod, "and what did he say?" Susan wiped her eyes, sighed and looked up. "He wants to be involved, this is our baby and it's a part of each of us." She paused "Only there is no us." Susan and Abby sat in silence for a while then Susan checked her watch and announced that she had to go. She left with best part of and unfinished salad on her plate. Abby watched her friends go, sighed and then reminded herself that it wasn't her place to get involved, before finishing her bun.
"Is there a Doctor Lewis there please? A Doctor Susan Lewis?" The self- important male voice at the other end of the phone inquired. "Sure. Yes. I think she's on her lunch break right now." Frank told the man. "Oh. wait, here she comes." He put a hand over the receiver and hissed at Susan. "It's for you Doctor Lewis." She took the phone and feeling another wash of nausea quickly sat down at the desk. "Doctor Lewis speaking." "Hello, this is police detective Nicholas Hooper. We think we've found your sister." He asked her a few questions about Chloe and her disappearance. "Thank you. I'm afraid it's not good news. I'll send someone along to collect you shortly." Then the line went dead. Susan sat trying to figure out what this police officer was trying to tell her, it was bad news. Another wave of nausea filled her, a different kind of sickness, Susan slammed down the phone and ran off down the corridor leaving the few members of staff stood at the admit desk staring after her in confusion.