Lost, Confused, Unkind (Sequel To "Freaked")
Chapter 19
Once we got inside & closed the door I launched myself into Adam's arms!
"Hey hey! Come on we'll go & sit down!" The first room we came to was the physio room so we went in & sat down on a gurney. "Ok tell me what happened out there?"
"W….well….I went out for…..for a smoke and…and…." I breathed in deeply before I carried on, "…There was someone out there! Someone that knew me! They called my name only I couldn't see anyone!"
"I didn't see anyone either!" Adam said, looking concerned, "Bec, tell me to mind my own here but do you have reason to believe someone is maybe following you? I mean the thing in the airport with Jeff? And now out there in the lot?"
"It's a long story but yes someone from my past, someone I thought had gone for good! I think they're back!"
"Ok I'm gonna go get Matt!" he stood up urgently , "Stay here and…"
"No don't leave me! I'll come with you!"
Adam led me back to the locker room & the minute Matt saw my face he stopped what he was doing & came to me. I just threw my arms around his neck & burst into tears!
"What the hell happened?" He said as he stroked my hair & tried to calm me down!
"I found her in the parking lot, she says someone was out there, someone from her past or something?"
Matt lifted my head up, "What's goin on?"
I gulped & tried to calm down. "I…..I was having a smoke…and….and…I heard someone say my….my name bu…..but I couldn't see anyone & I got scared & when I turned around I…….I ran into Adam!" The tears came again & he pulled my head back to his chest.
"Ok! OK! It's ok now! Thanks Adam!"
"No worries! I'll erm…catch you later then! I hope you're ok Bec?" I just nodded into Matt's chest & mumbled a quick thankyou before he left.
"It's ok now! Come on I'm here now! You're ok!" He soothed me & stroked my hair. "It was probably just the wind babe! If you couldn't see anyone then maybe you just got scared and freaked out a little?"
I sighed, "I heard it Matt I swear I heard someone say my name more than once!!"
Matt squeezed me tighter. "Ok! Ok! Come on, let's get you back to the hotel. You must be warn out after today!" He smiled, "Sitting next to Brendan Frasier huh?" He lifted my chin & I looked at him through my tears, "huh?" He smiled, so I forced a smile back at him.
"Yeah! Let's go."
I didn't say much in the car. I looked out of the window into the black night & wondered who the hell was out there in the dark, waiting for me to be alone. I bit on my lip as the tears threatened to come again. I was so determined the bastard wasn't going to get me this time! I didn't think Matt believed me, it wasn't his fault, God knows he tried with me, but sometimes he just didn't think that's all. He figured I was just having another 'relapse', the way I acted with the cologne & the pajamas hadn't exactly helped my case for sanity!! If I wasn't careful here he'd have me to see the WWE shrink the way I was carrying on! The more I thought about it the more I started to think maybe he was right? Especially since I'd only just had that conversation with Jeff, maybe it was possible that my mind was playing tricks on me? Maybe I did need to see the shrink after all?
I didn't sleep much that night at all! I kept trying to tell myself that Matt was right & I was imagining everything, freaking out at the slightest little thing! But at the back of my mind there was still a part of me that believed Steve was out there & he was out to get me! Most of the night was spent sitting in the window seat looking down at the city below, or watching Matt as he slept. My mind wandered here there & everywhere & most of the time I was either thinking about 50 different things all at once, or thinking about nothing at all! I tried to concentrate on Matt, I watched his chest move up & down & listened to him breathing. I studied his face, he was so unbelievably gorgeous & I couldn't for one minute believe he was with me!! It was times like this, when I was alone with my thoughts, usually in the dead of night, that I wished that just one time I knew how he felt about me for certain. I told him I loved him more times than I could count but sometimes I just needed something back, something solid to grasp onto. I just wanted him to love me. Even if he just told me once in his whole life, at least I would always have that one time! He stirred slightly & I couldn't resist getting back into bed to snuggle up to him! I took off his shirt that I was wearing & got into bed beside him. He didn't wear anything to sleep in & that feeling of skin on skin was something I really needed right then. I just wanted to be close to him. I lay my head on his chest & he stirred again, putting his arm around me & squeezing me to him. It was 3:30am the last time I looked at the clock.
Chapter 19
Once we got inside & closed the door I launched myself into Adam's arms!
"Hey hey! Come on we'll go & sit down!" The first room we came to was the physio room so we went in & sat down on a gurney. "Ok tell me what happened out there?"
"W….well….I went out for…..for a smoke and…and…." I breathed in deeply before I carried on, "…There was someone out there! Someone that knew me! They called my name only I couldn't see anyone!"
"I didn't see anyone either!" Adam said, looking concerned, "Bec, tell me to mind my own here but do you have reason to believe someone is maybe following you? I mean the thing in the airport with Jeff? And now out there in the lot?"
"It's a long story but yes someone from my past, someone I thought had gone for good! I think they're back!"
"Ok I'm gonna go get Matt!" he stood up urgently , "Stay here and…"
"No don't leave me! I'll come with you!"
Adam led me back to the locker room & the minute Matt saw my face he stopped what he was doing & came to me. I just threw my arms around his neck & burst into tears!
"What the hell happened?" He said as he stroked my hair & tried to calm me down!
"I found her in the parking lot, she says someone was out there, someone from her past or something?"
Matt lifted my head up, "What's goin on?"
I gulped & tried to calm down. "I…..I was having a smoke…and….and…I heard someone say my….my name bu…..but I couldn't see anyone & I got scared & when I turned around I…….I ran into Adam!" The tears came again & he pulled my head back to his chest.
"Ok! OK! It's ok now! Thanks Adam!"
"No worries! I'll erm…catch you later then! I hope you're ok Bec?" I just nodded into Matt's chest & mumbled a quick thankyou before he left.
"It's ok now! Come on I'm here now! You're ok!" He soothed me & stroked my hair. "It was probably just the wind babe! If you couldn't see anyone then maybe you just got scared and freaked out a little?"
I sighed, "I heard it Matt I swear I heard someone say my name more than once!!"
Matt squeezed me tighter. "Ok! Ok! Come on, let's get you back to the hotel. You must be warn out after today!" He smiled, "Sitting next to Brendan Frasier huh?" He lifted my chin & I looked at him through my tears, "huh?" He smiled, so I forced a smile back at him.
"Yeah! Let's go."
I didn't say much in the car. I looked out of the window into the black night & wondered who the hell was out there in the dark, waiting for me to be alone. I bit on my lip as the tears threatened to come again. I was so determined the bastard wasn't going to get me this time! I didn't think Matt believed me, it wasn't his fault, God knows he tried with me, but sometimes he just didn't think that's all. He figured I was just having another 'relapse', the way I acted with the cologne & the pajamas hadn't exactly helped my case for sanity!! If I wasn't careful here he'd have me to see the WWE shrink the way I was carrying on! The more I thought about it the more I started to think maybe he was right? Especially since I'd only just had that conversation with Jeff, maybe it was possible that my mind was playing tricks on me? Maybe I did need to see the shrink after all?
I didn't sleep much that night at all! I kept trying to tell myself that Matt was right & I was imagining everything, freaking out at the slightest little thing! But at the back of my mind there was still a part of me that believed Steve was out there & he was out to get me! Most of the night was spent sitting in the window seat looking down at the city below, or watching Matt as he slept. My mind wandered here there & everywhere & most of the time I was either thinking about 50 different things all at once, or thinking about nothing at all! I tried to concentrate on Matt, I watched his chest move up & down & listened to him breathing. I studied his face, he was so unbelievably gorgeous & I couldn't for one minute believe he was with me!! It was times like this, when I was alone with my thoughts, usually in the dead of night, that I wished that just one time I knew how he felt about me for certain. I told him I loved him more times than I could count but sometimes I just needed something back, something solid to grasp onto. I just wanted him to love me. Even if he just told me once in his whole life, at least I would always have that one time! He stirred slightly & I couldn't resist getting back into bed to snuggle up to him! I took off his shirt that I was wearing & got into bed beside him. He didn't wear anything to sleep in & that feeling of skin on skin was something I really needed right then. I just wanted to be close to him. I lay my head on his chest & he stirred again, putting his arm around me & squeezing me to him. It was 3:30am the last time I looked at the clock.