Lost, Confused, Unkind (Sequel To "Freaked")
Chapter 22
About 20 minutes later I found myself sitting in a café drinking coffee with Jeff.
"I wish she would just call you back!" I said as I looked out of the window at the busy Boston street.
"Yeah well maybe we should call her again, after we've had this coffee?" Jeff leaned back & put his arm over the back of the seat next to him.
"Yeah maybe!" I took another sip from my cup & as I lowered it back to the table I noticed how bad my hands were shaking! "You know what scares me the most?"
"What's that?"
"That it isn't Steve at all!"
"Oh come on Bec it has to be him! I mean what's the chances of this happening to the same person again?"
"Yeah well this is me we're talking about here! This shit seems to follow me around!"
We sat in silence for a while. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was just that we had nothing else to say to each other! We'd exhausted every possibility & now we were left with nothing! After a while Jeff spoke again.
"Why was your pillow meant to smell like Tommy?" He wrinkled his nose up.
I shook my head, "It doesn't matter now." I looked down at the table.
"Hey come on!" He reached over & took my hand, "It matters to me!"
I gulped, "Well see Jeff it's like this, when I left the room that pillow didn't just smell of Tommy it was soaked in it! I mean literally dripping wet! Then you go back in there & nothing!" I sat back in my seat & let go of his hand. "I'm kinda starting to believe that yes I am INDEED losing my God Damn mind so thank you Steve cause whatever little games you are playing they are working big style!! I am going crazy!" I put a hand to my forehead.
"I don't believe you're going crazy! The bastard just got smarter in jail! I don't know how he's doing it but I do know you're not crazy! HELL!" he leaned forward, "I don't know how he got into my room to get the manick but I know that he did it somehow & I certainly don't believe I'm losing my mind!"
I leaned forward to face him over the table, "I can't take much more Jeff! Y'know the new & improved Bec I was boasting about in the locker room the other day? Well I think she took a hike when she saw that stuff in my jacket pocket!"
Jeff laughed, "Yeah like she was ever there to begin with!"
"Well, I tried!" I smiled. His cell phone rang & we both looked at each other!
"Ok calm down!" Jeff took my hand as he punched the answer button on his cell. "Hello, Jeff Hardy!" I held my breath. "Yes that's right we did leave a message!" My heart pounded in my chest. "Oh right, well I'm sorry to hear that!" I looked at Jeff & frowned. "Yes I understand, of course." He glanced at me then looked back at the table & squeezed my hand. "How bad is it?" My mind raced! How bad was what? And who was he talking to anyway? "Yes ok! Is there someone else who could help us? Yeah….yes that would be good! Today if possible please?" He gave me another quick glance, "Ok thank you! Bye." He switched off the cell phone.
"Well what did they say?"
Jeff bit on his lip & then turned & took my other hand as well, "Sgt Smithurst was injured in a road accident earlier this morning!"
"What? Oh my God! Is she dead?"
"No no she's in hospital, pretty bad by the sounds of things!"
"Oh Christ that's awful!"
"Yeah…..anyway they are going to get someone else to call us back!"
"Oh right so that's it then huh? More waiting around!"
"I guess, listen I've been thinking maybe you should tell Matt!"
"No! I can't do that!"
"He has to know Bec! If Steve is pulling this shit then maybe Matt's safety could be in danger too!"
"Oh Jesus Jeff don't even say that!"
"Look, "he sighed, "It's up to you but I kinda feel like I'm lying to him! Don't you feel that way too?"
"Of course I do! Jesus of I thought for one minute that he'd believe me then I would tell him! But he thinks I'm losing the plot already! I can see it in his eyes whenever he looks at me and if I tell him all of this then I am going to lose him do you understand?"
Jeff bit on his lip, "Ok I won't say anything if you don't want me to!"
"Thank you!"
"You really do love the idiot don't you?" Jeff laughed.
"Yeah," I smiled, "I guess I really do!"
Jeff smiled & then rubbed his face with both of his hands & nodded. "I guess that's that then!" he said more to himself than to me!
"That's what?"
"Oh…erm…like you said, we'll just have to wait for the phone call!"
I looked into his eyes & I knew that's not what he had meant! I smiled & took his hand, "Thank you!" He nodded again, "No Jeff really I mean it! Thank you!" There was a flash of unspoken recognition between us & he smiled & shrugged his shoulders. I was greatful that he had decided 'That was that!' because no matter how much I was in love with Mat, there was just some unexplainable connection with his younger brother that I couldn't deny. Eventually I would have found it difficult to refuse him, but now, without saying a word I guess we had agreed that….well….that was that!
Chapter 22
About 20 minutes later I found myself sitting in a café drinking coffee with Jeff.
"I wish she would just call you back!" I said as I looked out of the window at the busy Boston street.
"Yeah well maybe we should call her again, after we've had this coffee?" Jeff leaned back & put his arm over the back of the seat next to him.
"Yeah maybe!" I took another sip from my cup & as I lowered it back to the table I noticed how bad my hands were shaking! "You know what scares me the most?"
"What's that?"
"That it isn't Steve at all!"
"Oh come on Bec it has to be him! I mean what's the chances of this happening to the same person again?"
"Yeah well this is me we're talking about here! This shit seems to follow me around!"
We sat in silence for a while. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was just that we had nothing else to say to each other! We'd exhausted every possibility & now we were left with nothing! After a while Jeff spoke again.
"Why was your pillow meant to smell like Tommy?" He wrinkled his nose up.
I shook my head, "It doesn't matter now." I looked down at the table.
"Hey come on!" He reached over & took my hand, "It matters to me!"
I gulped, "Well see Jeff it's like this, when I left the room that pillow didn't just smell of Tommy it was soaked in it! I mean literally dripping wet! Then you go back in there & nothing!" I sat back in my seat & let go of his hand. "I'm kinda starting to believe that yes I am INDEED losing my God Damn mind so thank you Steve cause whatever little games you are playing they are working big style!! I am going crazy!" I put a hand to my forehead.
"I don't believe you're going crazy! The bastard just got smarter in jail! I don't know how he's doing it but I do know you're not crazy! HELL!" he leaned forward, "I don't know how he got into my room to get the manick but I know that he did it somehow & I certainly don't believe I'm losing my mind!"
I leaned forward to face him over the table, "I can't take much more Jeff! Y'know the new & improved Bec I was boasting about in the locker room the other day? Well I think she took a hike when she saw that stuff in my jacket pocket!"
Jeff laughed, "Yeah like she was ever there to begin with!"
"Well, I tried!" I smiled. His cell phone rang & we both looked at each other!
"Ok calm down!" Jeff took my hand as he punched the answer button on his cell. "Hello, Jeff Hardy!" I held my breath. "Yes that's right we did leave a message!" My heart pounded in my chest. "Oh right, well I'm sorry to hear that!" I looked at Jeff & frowned. "Yes I understand, of course." He glanced at me then looked back at the table & squeezed my hand. "How bad is it?" My mind raced! How bad was what? And who was he talking to anyway? "Yes ok! Is there someone else who could help us? Yeah….yes that would be good! Today if possible please?" He gave me another quick glance, "Ok thank you! Bye." He switched off the cell phone.
"Well what did they say?"
Jeff bit on his lip & then turned & took my other hand as well, "Sgt Smithurst was injured in a road accident earlier this morning!"
"What? Oh my God! Is she dead?"
"No no she's in hospital, pretty bad by the sounds of things!"
"Oh Christ that's awful!"
"Yeah…..anyway they are going to get someone else to call us back!"
"Oh right so that's it then huh? More waiting around!"
"I guess, listen I've been thinking maybe you should tell Matt!"
"No! I can't do that!"
"He has to know Bec! If Steve is pulling this shit then maybe Matt's safety could be in danger too!"
"Oh Jesus Jeff don't even say that!"
"Look, "he sighed, "It's up to you but I kinda feel like I'm lying to him! Don't you feel that way too?"
"Of course I do! Jesus of I thought for one minute that he'd believe me then I would tell him! But he thinks I'm losing the plot already! I can see it in his eyes whenever he looks at me and if I tell him all of this then I am going to lose him do you understand?"
Jeff bit on his lip, "Ok I won't say anything if you don't want me to!"
"Thank you!"
"You really do love the idiot don't you?" Jeff laughed.
"Yeah," I smiled, "I guess I really do!"
Jeff smiled & then rubbed his face with both of his hands & nodded. "I guess that's that then!" he said more to himself than to me!
"That's what?"
"Oh…erm…like you said, we'll just have to wait for the phone call!"
I looked into his eyes & I knew that's not what he had meant! I smiled & took his hand, "Thank you!" He nodded again, "No Jeff really I mean it! Thank you!" There was a flash of unspoken recognition between us & he smiled & shrugged his shoulders. I was greatful that he had decided 'That was that!' because no matter how much I was in love with Mat, there was just some unexplainable connection with his younger brother that I couldn't deny. Eventually I would have found it difficult to refuse him, but now, without saying a word I guess we had agreed that….well….that was that!