Lost, Confused, Unkind (Sequel To "Freaked")
Chapter 25
When I'd calmed down I stayed in his arms, I just wanted to bury my head into his shirt & go to sleep until it was time to go home. I felt drained & I felt useless and although Jeff's arms were comforting I just wished they were Matt's! Don't get me wrong I was so greatful for Jeff, he'd been such a huge support to me the past few days & I'd never be able to thank him enough for everything he'd done, especially considering the way I'd treated him in the past, I never would have thought it would turn out this way! But I needed Matt! I needed him to be doing exactly what his younger brother was doing! I almost laughed out loud when the thought crossed my mind that I seemed to be having one relationship with two people! Jeff giving me all the emotional help & support I needed & I just went back to Matt for the physical side! This was not how I wanted it to be, my perfect man turning into two perfect men! I snuggled my head down into his chest & as his arms moved up & down my back all I wanted to do was sleep! I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer!
When I woke up it was dark, I was lying on the bed & I was alone. It took me a few seconds to realize where I was but it all came back to me, sitting here on this bed with my boyfriend's brother, how I felt so safe in his arms & how the way he smelled comforted me in someway. I decided to go back to my own room & maybe try & put some distance between me & Jeff for a couple of days. It was getting dangerous & it didn't feel right!
When I opened the door to my room I found it was almost bursting at the seams with wrestlers! I had to smile at them all crammed on the bed or sprawled out on the floor!
"Um…hi…erm…everyone!" I said as I walked into the room & they all turned to look at me! There was a 'Hey!' or 'Hi Bec!' from each of them & Matt stood up and gave me a hug! "Why didn't you wake me?"
"Oh you looked like you needed the rest so….anyway I hope you don't mind some of the guys coming over…"
"No not at all!" To say some of the guys was an understatement though, it looked like the entire Smackdown rosta was in that room! I went to the bed & budged Adam up so I could sit down! "So, what are you guys doing anyway?"
"Playstation 2!" Adam grinned at me then went back to frantically pressing the buttons on his control pad!
"Ahh….right! Boys & their toys huh?" I smiled.
"You want a beer?" I looked up to see Jay rummaging in the fridge! Everyone else seemed to have a bottle in their hand so I figured what the hell & Jay opened a bottle & passed it to me.
"Don't you guys get into trouble for drinking on the job?"
"Only if they don't invite the boss!" Shane said as he walked through the door carrying 2 cases of beer! There was various shouts of 'SHANE!' and 'SHANE MY MAN!' and a chant of 'SHANE O!' and I had to laugh as he took a bow & handed the cases of beer to Matt!
About half an hour and 3 beers later as I stood leaning on the wall surveying the mess there was a tap on my shoulder & I turned to see Dwayne grinning at me!
"You have a good time at the show the other night?"
"Hey Dwayne! Yeah did I? Man I wanted to say thank you! It was awesome meeting Brendan!" I smiled.
"No problem! You just seemed a little oh I dunno…"
"Lost? Out of it? Lonely?" I raised my eyebrows.
"Well…um…"
"It's ok!" I laughed, "I was feeling a little sorry for myself so thanks!"
"I didn't mean to sound…" There was a huge shout as Adam kicked Shane's ass at Mortal Kombat & we both winced!
"It's ok!" I shouted "I had a ball! And erm…be sure to keep me in mind if you ever invite Ohed Fehr!" I puffed out my cheeks & whistled!
"Hey don't let Matt hear you talking like that!" he laughed.
"Oh I'm sure he wouldn't mind!" I smiled then under my breath I said "Or care!" I turned away but Dwayne caught my arm.
"Is everything ok?" he wrinkled his brow.
"What? Oh yeah! Ignore me! Too many beers!" I shook the bottle in his face. I looked over at Matt who was sprawled out on the floor engrossed in the Adam/Shane rematch & laughing hysterically at something! Then I looked up at Jeff who was sitting on his own, on the chair in the corner, peeling the label off his beer bottle! He looked up & gave me a half-smile & I quickly turned to see Dwayne had been watching the whole time! He looked at Jeff then at me and then at the floor.
"That's why I don't touch the stuff myself!" he pointed to my bottle of beer. "Wanna take a walk?" he raised his eyebrows.
"Oh…erm….no….well….."
"HEY MATT!" Matt looked up, "Just going to get some more water! I'm resucing Bec from all the testosterone in here!" he laughed.
Matt nodded slowly, "Oh right ok!" As we got to the door he shouted, "But be sure to keep Rocky locked in his cage!"
"Yeah yeah!" Dwayne almost dragged me out of the room.
As we walked to the elevator he said, "So what's goin' on?"
"Nothing why?" we reached the elevator & I stopped but he kept going. "Hey where are we going?" He opened the door to a room & held it open. I walked towards him & hesitated at the entrance.
"Come on! I won't bite I've already eaten!" He smiled & I looked around to see if anyone was watching me go into his room but the corridors were empty. "Come on! I promise I've taken the pills & Rocky aint coming out to play tonight!" he laughed & I relaxed a little & went inside, he followed me & closed the door. "Have a seat!" he gestured to a chair & I sat down while he went to the fridge, "What do you drink?" he said as he clanked some bottles together.
"Oh nothing thanks!!" I nervously figited with my hands in my lap.
"Aww come on you look like you need one! Beer?"
"Sure why not!" he passed me a bottle then sat down on the edge of the bed opposite me.
"So.." he opened another bottle of water he'd gotten from the fridge & took a gulp, "You looked like you needed to talk?"
"Um no really I'm fine!"
"Ok see it's like this, now I'm gonna be honest with you here & if I get a slap in the face then well I deserved it!" he smiled, "I know you don't really know me all that much & you're probably thinking I'm a bit of a mental case for dragging you in here but….well see Matt is a friend of mine, quite a good friend, well he is now anyway …." He smiled, "I'm rambling! Excuse me!"
"That's ok! I do that a lot these days!!" I laughed & gulped down some beer.
"Anyway so I kinda think that makes you a friend too If you catch my drift? You with me so far?"
I smiled & nodded, "yeah I think so!"
"Ok so, you said something I don't think I was supposed to hear, only I did hear…" he paused, "…and then, well.." he bit his lip & sighed, "Tell me to mind my own but what's with you & Jeff?"
I choked on my beer & coughed. "Nothing's with me & Jeff! What made you ask that?"
"Ah well I think I inherited some of that woman's intuition from my mother!" he laughed, "But if you say nothing's going on then hey…" he held up his hands, "I'm shutting up! Forget I even said it! But….You're wrong about Matt!"
"What do you mean?"
"He does care!"
"What?"
"I heard what you said & you're wrong! He cares a lot about you!"
I rolled my eyes, "I told you it was the drink talking not me!" I smiled.
"See now I don't think it was the beer!" He looked into my eyes & I quickly looked down at my feet! "So all I'm sayin is I can see that maybe you feel a little isolated around all of us lot right now & I just wanted to let you know that I think of you as a friend ok?"
I looked up, "Ok thanks Dwayne! I appreciate that!"
"And friends talk?" He raised his eyebrows again.
I bit on my lip. Maybe he had a point & maybe someone on the outside of all of this mess could make more sense of it than I could!
Chapter 25
When I'd calmed down I stayed in his arms, I just wanted to bury my head into his shirt & go to sleep until it was time to go home. I felt drained & I felt useless and although Jeff's arms were comforting I just wished they were Matt's! Don't get me wrong I was so greatful for Jeff, he'd been such a huge support to me the past few days & I'd never be able to thank him enough for everything he'd done, especially considering the way I'd treated him in the past, I never would have thought it would turn out this way! But I needed Matt! I needed him to be doing exactly what his younger brother was doing! I almost laughed out loud when the thought crossed my mind that I seemed to be having one relationship with two people! Jeff giving me all the emotional help & support I needed & I just went back to Matt for the physical side! This was not how I wanted it to be, my perfect man turning into two perfect men! I snuggled my head down into his chest & as his arms moved up & down my back all I wanted to do was sleep! I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer!
When I woke up it was dark, I was lying on the bed & I was alone. It took me a few seconds to realize where I was but it all came back to me, sitting here on this bed with my boyfriend's brother, how I felt so safe in his arms & how the way he smelled comforted me in someway. I decided to go back to my own room & maybe try & put some distance between me & Jeff for a couple of days. It was getting dangerous & it didn't feel right!
When I opened the door to my room I found it was almost bursting at the seams with wrestlers! I had to smile at them all crammed on the bed or sprawled out on the floor!
"Um…hi…erm…everyone!" I said as I walked into the room & they all turned to look at me! There was a 'Hey!' or 'Hi Bec!' from each of them & Matt stood up and gave me a hug! "Why didn't you wake me?"
"Oh you looked like you needed the rest so….anyway I hope you don't mind some of the guys coming over…"
"No not at all!" To say some of the guys was an understatement though, it looked like the entire Smackdown rosta was in that room! I went to the bed & budged Adam up so I could sit down! "So, what are you guys doing anyway?"
"Playstation 2!" Adam grinned at me then went back to frantically pressing the buttons on his control pad!
"Ahh….right! Boys & their toys huh?" I smiled.
"You want a beer?" I looked up to see Jay rummaging in the fridge! Everyone else seemed to have a bottle in their hand so I figured what the hell & Jay opened a bottle & passed it to me.
"Don't you guys get into trouble for drinking on the job?"
"Only if they don't invite the boss!" Shane said as he walked through the door carrying 2 cases of beer! There was various shouts of 'SHANE!' and 'SHANE MY MAN!' and a chant of 'SHANE O!' and I had to laugh as he took a bow & handed the cases of beer to Matt!
About half an hour and 3 beers later as I stood leaning on the wall surveying the mess there was a tap on my shoulder & I turned to see Dwayne grinning at me!
"You have a good time at the show the other night?"
"Hey Dwayne! Yeah did I? Man I wanted to say thank you! It was awesome meeting Brendan!" I smiled.
"No problem! You just seemed a little oh I dunno…"
"Lost? Out of it? Lonely?" I raised my eyebrows.
"Well…um…"
"It's ok!" I laughed, "I was feeling a little sorry for myself so thanks!"
"I didn't mean to sound…" There was a huge shout as Adam kicked Shane's ass at Mortal Kombat & we both winced!
"It's ok!" I shouted "I had a ball! And erm…be sure to keep me in mind if you ever invite Ohed Fehr!" I puffed out my cheeks & whistled!
"Hey don't let Matt hear you talking like that!" he laughed.
"Oh I'm sure he wouldn't mind!" I smiled then under my breath I said "Or care!" I turned away but Dwayne caught my arm.
"Is everything ok?" he wrinkled his brow.
"What? Oh yeah! Ignore me! Too many beers!" I shook the bottle in his face. I looked over at Matt who was sprawled out on the floor engrossed in the Adam/Shane rematch & laughing hysterically at something! Then I looked up at Jeff who was sitting on his own, on the chair in the corner, peeling the label off his beer bottle! He looked up & gave me a half-smile & I quickly turned to see Dwayne had been watching the whole time! He looked at Jeff then at me and then at the floor.
"That's why I don't touch the stuff myself!" he pointed to my bottle of beer. "Wanna take a walk?" he raised his eyebrows.
"Oh…erm….no….well….."
"HEY MATT!" Matt looked up, "Just going to get some more water! I'm resucing Bec from all the testosterone in here!" he laughed.
Matt nodded slowly, "Oh right ok!" As we got to the door he shouted, "But be sure to keep Rocky locked in his cage!"
"Yeah yeah!" Dwayne almost dragged me out of the room.
As we walked to the elevator he said, "So what's goin' on?"
"Nothing why?" we reached the elevator & I stopped but he kept going. "Hey where are we going?" He opened the door to a room & held it open. I walked towards him & hesitated at the entrance.
"Come on! I won't bite I've already eaten!" He smiled & I looked around to see if anyone was watching me go into his room but the corridors were empty. "Come on! I promise I've taken the pills & Rocky aint coming out to play tonight!" he laughed & I relaxed a little & went inside, he followed me & closed the door. "Have a seat!" he gestured to a chair & I sat down while he went to the fridge, "What do you drink?" he said as he clanked some bottles together.
"Oh nothing thanks!!" I nervously figited with my hands in my lap.
"Aww come on you look like you need one! Beer?"
"Sure why not!" he passed me a bottle then sat down on the edge of the bed opposite me.
"So.." he opened another bottle of water he'd gotten from the fridge & took a gulp, "You looked like you needed to talk?"
"Um no really I'm fine!"
"Ok see it's like this, now I'm gonna be honest with you here & if I get a slap in the face then well I deserved it!" he smiled, "I know you don't really know me all that much & you're probably thinking I'm a bit of a mental case for dragging you in here but….well see Matt is a friend of mine, quite a good friend, well he is now anyway …." He smiled, "I'm rambling! Excuse me!"
"That's ok! I do that a lot these days!!" I laughed & gulped down some beer.
"Anyway so I kinda think that makes you a friend too If you catch my drift? You with me so far?"
I smiled & nodded, "yeah I think so!"
"Ok so, you said something I don't think I was supposed to hear, only I did hear…" he paused, "…and then, well.." he bit his lip & sighed, "Tell me to mind my own but what's with you & Jeff?"
I choked on my beer & coughed. "Nothing's with me & Jeff! What made you ask that?"
"Ah well I think I inherited some of that woman's intuition from my mother!" he laughed, "But if you say nothing's going on then hey…" he held up his hands, "I'm shutting up! Forget I even said it! But….You're wrong about Matt!"
"What do you mean?"
"He does care!"
"What?"
"I heard what you said & you're wrong! He cares a lot about you!"
I rolled my eyes, "I told you it was the drink talking not me!" I smiled.
"See now I don't think it was the beer!" He looked into my eyes & I quickly looked down at my feet! "So all I'm sayin is I can see that maybe you feel a little isolated around all of us lot right now & I just wanted to let you know that I think of you as a friend ok?"
I looked up, "Ok thanks Dwayne! I appreciate that!"
"And friends talk?" He raised his eyebrows again.
I bit on my lip. Maybe he had a point & maybe someone on the outside of all of this mess could make more sense of it than I could!