Cell Block Tango

There are some things that you have no control over, and some that you do

"Can I get you another drink Sir?" the waiter walked up to the table asking Sam

"Same" he held the glass up showing the man before downing the last drop and slamming his glass on the table

He was agitated because Mercy was nearly an hour late for a dinner that had been booked over a week ago, at her request, and the fact that he'd rescheduled a meeting to be on time, while she hadn't bothered to prioritise it, was pissing him off.

"Yes Sir" the waiter nodded, grabbed the empty glass, and walked off quickly

"If she uses that frigging excuse one more time" Sam hissed to himself, resisting the urge to bang his fist on the table

Over the years she'd become the most monumental pain the ass, maybe they both had, but right now he was focused too much on her shortcomings to focus on his own. She'd dreamt about this life for as long as he could remember, from the day he'd met her he'd always known she was that one in a million, that she was going to make it, her talent even when raw was brilliant. Her story was no different to my other celebrities, like most superstars that make it, she just happened to be in the right place at the right time, got that jump start into a career that had so far lasted her nearly fifteen years and climbing, and always felt right at home in it.

The ping of guilt he felt for pinning this all on her hurt a bit, because this situation wasn't all on her, if he was being honest about things, when they first arrived in California, he'd got no plan, he'd practically just followed her because they didn't want to do the long-distance thing, and he wasn't willing to let her go. He hadn't got a clue where he was going to be the second day in, let alone for life, but she'd been his rock, she was the one with the big dreams and somehow that rubbed off on him.

She'd talked him into doing a few shots in her second music video, and to be honest he liked the attention, it didn't hurt that on that occasion he was the one that was in the right place at the right time, a call from one of the producers got him an audition for a small part in a B movie. Just like that he'd started his new path in the film business, he wasn't ready for it, but he found out he was interested in every aspect of the business, he got so sort after that at times his schedule could be just as taxing, if not more so, than hers. Three years in California and they were on their way up and thinking of ways to keep the life in their diminishing relationship, Sam decided to take the plunge and after a seedy Vegas wedding one night, they agreed that the high life was all temporary, they'd chosen them before, and they were willing to do it again

Up until about four years ago he was a busy man, auditions around the world, meetings at midnight, or four in the morning and filming for months at different locations. Mercy was off doing the same, opening for various big names and then suddenly one of her songs hit, and she was the main act, and everything stepped up more than a notch, neither could deny that caused some strain on their relationship.

After two years of working hard they'd finally decided to try for a family, Mercy cut right back on performing and he'd decided to try his hand at film production. But after a year of trying, they resided themselves to the starting a family thing being a pipedream that wasn't for them, Mercy dived into her music with a vengeance, refusing to talk about the situation. Sam, through frustration, had dived into production fiercely, taken to it like a fish to the sea, and his fourth project, got him his first box office film in the headlines, over the years that followed, he'd got more than a few billboard worthy productions.

There was a downside to all the success, because now added to everything he did as an actor, late night business dinners that went on through the night, were becoming a bit of a thing. For most part their evenings, when they actually sat in the same space, was all about answering emails, checking on social media feeds, and discussing new contracts or projects.

While they were making a name for themselves, they were excited about the life fame brought them, neither of them was sure they could identify the point at which it became a chore, maybe around the time their lives were turned upside down with the rejection of their unity to produce a child. They were coming to terms with so much all at one time, not having a family, dealing with fame, the paparazzi were following them everywhere, speculations about their private life, which neither of them was willing to talk about, it was all causing more stress than anyone could imagine.

On the back of everything personal going on for them, they still had to deal with these random people walking up to them calling them by their first names, pretending they were long lost friends, somehow believing that the lives they'd portrayed on TV and stage was true. That was bad enough but the fact that they had to put a smile on and pretend to be happy about those people not seeing them for who they really were, for fear of tabloid smear, was exhausting and frustrating. As irritating and maddening as that all was, after fifteen years, they were still answering questions from excited fans, with a smile, even if it was the 356th time they'd heard it for the day, that was the business.

They'd met during college, spent the first year like ships in the night, but when Mercy got a lead role in a production of some comedy, musical, being an art student, he was charged with making the props. One of the girls had called Mercy a name in his earshot and for whatever reason he was offended for her, the three girls were attacking her for no reason he could see, he jumped up and confronted them about it, that move earned him a smile and not long after that they got talking, and everything else called a relationship followed naturally.

When college finished, they'd had the conversation, agreed they were parting company and living the lives they'd dreamed of before they met, that was until the day they got their results, Sam hadn't got the grades he needed to go into teaching and was at a loose end. Mercy has swum through her grades and was following that up with a six-month contract in California singing back up for some semi-famous artists. At their leaving party she'd sang some song he'd taken to heart, and as soon as she finished it he announced he was going with her, on the day he'd grabbed the few things he'd got, threw them in her cab, and they drove off into the sunset

For the quality of life their careers had allowed them, he'd have to say it was worth it, they wanted for nothing, and coming from where they'd started, it was liberating to know that part of their lives was sorted. However, on the other side of that was quantity, it's so funny that once you have one you lose the other, and yearn for it to the point of despair, for the past two years' time hadn't been on their side

With the sad news of them not being able to have a family their lives had slipped into an unfamiliar pattern, she started shouting, the first time he'd been that shocked he listened, did better for a few months and then they'd sink back into the old them. When he could see her getting frustrated, he'd shout, and she'd act the part for a few months, butter him up for as long as she needed to, and then things would get back on track. This last time for neither love nor money they couldn't get things back on an even keel. So, he was happy that Mercy had taken the bull by the horns and booked this table at their favourite restaurant, hoping that common ground would give her the guts she needed to say what was on her mind.

Her world was more singing, and he understood the game, she'd released a few songs from her new album over the last six months and done a lot of publicity for it, but the fourth newly released one was snapped up to headline a movie and somehow, she'd been dragged back into the promotion thing again. It felt like she was on a spinning wheel, it was affecting their personal life far longer than any other promotional work she'd ever done, and that was frustrating as hell for him. There'd been times she was walking out the house to do something or the other and didn't have a clue which song or set she was supposed to be on, those pressures he could overlook, ten years ago but now, today, she was just in the studio, in his head things were out of control, and that wasn't a situation he relished dealing with

In the early days he'd sat back and enjoyed watching her lavish in her achievements, they'd done that for each other, because when it was good it was phenomenal, and the barrage of whistle stop tours, chat shows and interviews where they'd presented the same flawless response that made their audiences believe they were hearing breaking news, while stretching their acting careers to their limits, amused them sometimes.

But tonight, wasn't about acting, producing, singing, or anything but their real lives, he'd got there early, when he'd sat down he was relaxed, and ready to talk, but after nearly an hour of waiting with not even so much as a message from her, he was ready to take this conversation to a level this woman had never seen before, and maybe after this she'd realise, he'd had enough.

"Sir" the waiter put his drink down in front of him, Sam couldn't even find a decent thank you he was so mad, he just nodded and looked away

He wasn't sitting in a position to see her come in, but he heard the noise and assumed it was her rushing through from wherever she's been, her heels clicking on the marble floor like a ticking bomb

"Sorry babe" she slammed herself down on the chair opposite him "There was…"

"I don't want to hear it" he snapped at her

"Sam" she stopped to look at him

"An hour" he stared at her "Without so much as a freaking call"

"If you'll let me, I was about to explain and apologise"

"As I said, I don't want to hear it" he said the same words again slowly as he cut his eyes at her "You asked for this, I made the time, obviously it's not that important to you"

"Sam" she moaned wondering what was wrong with him "Please" she looked around "Lower your voice"

"I will not" he banged his fist on the table "Now I'm being made to feel like this is all my damn fault" he hissed as he watched her jump at the noise

"Babe" she gasped looking around again "Can we just calm this down please?"

"I'll calm down when you start treating me with the importance I've earned"

"I would explain" she hissed through her teeth "But you don't want to hear it" she spat at him

"Why is it that I'm always the one that has to bend?"

"You haven't even heard what it is I want to talk about" she snapped at him

"Because we always do this shit on your terms, and just in case you hadn't noticed I'm your husband" his finger kept hitting the table "I'm supposed to be involved"

"I know who you are Sam" she rolled her eyes at him "Please" she looked around the restaurant "Can we do this at home"

"Home" he laughed "That's a joke" he looked around the room "How many times have you actually slept there this week?"

"Seriously?" she looked at him "You really want to do this here?"

"Yeah, why not" he looked around the room "You perform better for an audience"

"Cheap shot Evans" she narrowed her eyes at him

"Are you ready to order Sir, madam?" the waiter's attempt at calming things down, the Evens' weren't the type of people you wanted a reputation of removing from your establishment

"Yes" Sam snapped

"No" Mercy snapped at the same time

"Drink?" the waiter looked at Mercy asking

"Water please" she watched the waiter put the menu's down before walking away "I think it's grossly unfair you didn't fire any warning shots about this"

"I've been firing warning shots for months" he sat forward irritated "You spent a whole year promoting an advert, something we didn't agree to" he warned "Then went straight into the album and now this"

"If you'll let me explain" she slammed the table with her hand frustrated

"You left me hanging, it hurt" he sulked

"And I'm sorry about that babe" she exhaled, grabbing for his hand, rolling her eyes when he quickly moved it "Are you going to let me explain?" his look told her she could carry on "I went to the studio this morning with all intentions of finishing early, because I think we're important, I would never have asked you to come if I didn't think this was serious"

"An hour Mercy"

"I'm sorry babe" she tried to grab his hand again "The guys went out last night everyone got sick, must have been something they ate" she huffed "Max wouldn't let me waste a day's recording so I had to wait for a new band, when they finally turned up he'd booked them for six hours and he wouldn't let them go early, so I couldn't either"

"You mean you didn't want to?"

"Didn't you hear what…"

"Don't tell me what I heard" he slammed his fist on the table again, making her jump

"What do you want me to say?"

"This isn't working Mercy this isn't what I signed up for"

"What are you saying?"

"What do you think I'm saying?" he looked at her his eyes full of determination

"We're not getting a divorce; I just want to make that clear" she snapped at him

"I wasn't talking about a divorce" his eyes widened sharply to take in what she was saying "What the hell gave you that idea?"

"So, what are you saying?"

"Fifteen years is enough, I can't miss anymore" he looked at his half full glass "I feel like I've got six freaking wives and I'm sitting on tender hooks waiting to see which one comes through the door, when you decide to come home"

"That's not fair Sam"

"It's not fair on either of us" they sat in silence reflecting on what was being said between the lines

"What are you asking?" she finally asked

"I didn't know what I was asking when this started, but" he looked at her "I guess I'm asking for change, I mean real change"

"Well, it just so happens…" she rolled her eyes "Can't we get any peace?" she looked over towards the small bar "We brought this on, raising our voices" she smiled at hearing the theme song to his first box office film over the airways, they both looked over at the waiter and smiled, before looking back at each other "Remember this one?" they sat listening

I don't love you like I used to, I don't love you just the same, no, I couldn't pretend, be a lie if I said we haven't changed
No, it's not the honeymoon, gone on to different phases, but if I had the chance, I wouldn't turn back none of the pages
Cause after all the years with you, I don't love you like I used to
I love you so much more with every day, ayy, oh, I'm in too deep to run away, ayy
Cause you and I've been through so much together, and we get closer, the closer we get to forever
Cause ever since we said, I do, I don't love you like I used to 'I Don't Love You Like I Used To' by John Legend

"How could I forget it" he smiled, there was so much hope, memories, and love wrapped up in that movie "Very sharp reminder" he grabbed her hand "Sorry I have a lot of insecurities going on right now"

"Insecurities?" she looked at him concerned

"You know how I get when someone's getting more of your attention than me for too long"

"No worse than me" she smiled "But you know I love you"

"I do" he smiled

"So can we get back to what I wanted to say, it might help put your mind at ease" she smiled "What I wanted us to talk about was to do with change"

"For the better I hope"

"I think so" she smiled again "But can we talk about what's got you so fired up first?"

"You, I feel like you're taking me for granted, I dropped everything for this, and it just felt like you didn't care enough to do the same" he looked at her "Or what you were doing was more important than being with me, and as I said, that hurt"

"Your logical mind knows that none of that is true" she squeezed his hand "Doesn't it?"

"When is anything ever logical between us?" he laughed "We share each other with millions of fans, casts, crews, bands, friends, managers and the list goes on"

"But when you start doubting who we are to each other, that scares me"

"Sometimes I'm scared for us" he admitted "And I guess that's where all that came from"

"So, if you let me get back to what I wanted to say," she frowned "You'll probably be happier about this than I thought"

"What's happened?"

"We" she smiled at him "By we, I mean Kurt, Quinn, and I have been writing" she looked at him for a response, when she didn't get one, she carried on "We think we've got something, and we were hoping you'd have someone in mind who could look over it"

"I know people that read scripts not novels" he looked at her puzzled

"It's a script babe" she smiled

"You've been writing a script?" he looked at her shocked

"Kurt's idea" she smiled at the fact he wasn't shooting it down "We've written something, if I had to compare it, I'd say it has a kind of Chicago feel, but the songs are snappier, its modern day, more street you know what I mean, a few twists" she flashed her hands about excitedly "But there's no prison" she laughed

"That sounds nothing like Chicago"

"That's where we got the idea from, but we just need an opinion on it"

"And what are you going to do if the script reader says it's bad?"

"Go back to the drawing board, they'll give notes, right?

"Of course, but" he looked at his hands "What if it's good?"

"We're thinking it might be more of a series than a film, something different, and then…" she smiled "If you think it's good enough, and you agree to produced it, we'd work together for a few years, hopefully near home, same bed every night" she wiggled her eyebrows

"That's just a bribe to make me get the chain to say it's good no matter what, isn't it?" he laughed

"We want total honesty" she laughed "But the same bed thing's a sweetener" she giggled

"Are you ready to order Sir, Madam?" the waiter appeared at their table again

"Yeah" Sam smiled, Mercy said nothing this time "Fish?" he asked his wife

"Please" she grinned, watching the waiter walk away "Angry Sam's a serious turn on" she leaned in cheekily telling him "You need to bring him out a bit more"

"Let's see if we can stay awake long enough to bring out naughty Mercy when we get home, before we start getting our hopes up"

"Ambitious, I know" she giggled

"One last thing I want to say" he looked at his glass before taking a large mouthful "I have a problem with us not actually making love for nearly two weeks"

"That's the real problem" she smiled "Isn't it?"

"And it doesn't make me feel any better to think you've been dreaming up Chicago re-runs" he laughed

"Lipschitz?" she laughed "I should find the time"

"I was thinking more Squish" the guilt on his face for where his mind had gone making her laugh

"Do they actually have milkmen now a days?"

"That's a thought" he smiled "Where does our milk come from?"

"The refrigerator" she laughed "I must remember to ask Shelby"

"Your meal" the waiter smiled setting a plate in front of Mercy before he gave Sam his "Enjoy"

"Thank you" they both smiled at him, knowing he'd done more than handed them their meal

"Can we get the usual glass of wine please?" Sam asked

"I'll just have some water please" Mercy looked at the waiter "Unusually thirsty tonight" she stroked her throat

Their conversation was less tense after that, having got his feeling out, they were back at that comfortable place they always found themselves in, only this time they were both complying "Remember this?" Sam smiled

She's making her way out to California, with a bag and her babies and maybe her man
Maybe later for a wedding if you're feeling the plan, cause it's gone work out in California
And she's ready for whatever and she ain't going to stop, it's gon' have to be enough cause it's all that she got

"Seems to be our night tonight" she giggled

"Did you plan this?" he smiled at her giggle

"We jumped on a plane and changed our entire lives because of this song" she smiled "You believed in me that much"

"I still believe in you"

"And I in you" she touched his hand

"I'm still down" he smiled "Despite all my drama"

Oh, there ain't no plan B, no clue where it's heading, she's going to Cali, to wish on a star
Will you go with me, even in the backseat, California taxi one way ride
Are you down, are you down are you down are you down (are you down to ride) Oh
Are you down, are you down are you down are you down (are you down to ride) Oh

"So, with that in mind, I kind of want to get back to the sex conversation" Mercy grabbed her fork and looked down at her plate "There's a reason"

"Has something happened?" he looked at her concerned

"No" she smiled "Not yet" she looked at him suspiciously

"Are you saying it's a sure thing tonight?" he laughed

"Not for a while yet I'm afraid"

"What's wrong?" he stopped eating to ask

"Remember you said you were down?" she looked around the restaurant

"Always" he smiled "What's happened babe?" he put his knife and fork down to pay attention

"I went to the doctors because I wasn't feeling well for a couple of days when I was away last"

"And?" the worry showing on his face

"We're about to be parents" she frowned "In about seven months" she sat watching his face change as he went through his process to take on board what she's just said, his mouth finally opened and stayed that way for a few seconds

"But we…" was all that came out

there ain't no plan B, no clue where it's heading, she's going' to Cali, to wish on a star
Will you go with me, even in the backseat, California taxi, one way ride

"Breathe babe" she tapped his hand

"Are you sure?"

"Positive"

If he don't like it out in California, well so much for the promise that he made in the car
Better stick with my decision cause it got me this far, un huh I hope it works out in California

"Water" he pointed to her glass "Why didn't I clock the water?" he grinned before his face got serious "You let me shout at you and…"

"Babe" she stopped him "We're pregnant"

"We did it" he gasped

"Don't shout about it, it's too soon" she looked around the restaurant

I threw a quarter in the water, and I wish for your heart, don't go missing in the vision that I had from the start….

'California Taxi' by Inayah ft Dixon

"Come on" he held his hand out for her to grab "We need to go" he paid for their meal, and they made their way home

"I have a confession to make" she sat in the car letting him touch a baby bump that hadn't even started yet "The band wasn't sick" she smiled "I just didn't want to go into the studio tomorrow, so I finished two songs"

"Even if you hadn't finished you weren't going in tomorrow, or for the rest of the week" he leaned in and kissed her "Hi Mommy"

"Hi Daddy" she giggled

"Can you believe after everything we went through, not trying would do the trick"

"I think we've established nothing's ever logical for us" she snuggled into him