I watched the light enter through the cloud's in a faded manner. It wasn't as bright as the pure light from the sun, but instead dimmed by the lies of the clouds. The clouds protected me from the sun, and so I was thankful to it. Lies always had a nice way of shielding me from the truth. That's how I could believe I had lived Zachs' life for so long. That was what saved me from so much pain…until the truth hit me and Tifa's lies became a tool for my torture. Until finally I saw the truth; I saw Sephiroth.

Sephiroth was honesty. Maybe he really was a god.

He exposed so much of the world to me, making me bleed as the images stung my eyes. How I cried so many endless tears when I started to understand. How I wanted to stab my eyes so I could be blind and remain blind until the day I died. Then I'd never see the truth again, and I could be deaf, numb, and dumb from them. Then in time, even taste would fade.

But such idealism would never change the world. Nor would people shouting that they wanted equality. The only way to change this is to kill the people in charge and over run them. It sounds like a mad man's words unless you think on it… After all, what good did Avalanche achieve? Their purpose couldn't even be lived out because something much, much more important showed its face.

Don't try to change anything. Don't hope for something better. This is all there is…this is all there ever will be. I tried to stop Sephiroth…and then in the end he's still there, still alive… He must have had a temporary death, just like Aerith… Or…something else… I don't know what, but I know that my idealism…my will to make things change failed. This is all there is…this is all there ever will be.

"Hey…you awake?" S-…Leon asked me even though I was staring down at him.

"Yes…" I replied, feeling his arms wrap around me.

It felt…warm, safe. I liked him being so close and being there to support me. That was also the last thing I needed. A feeling of security would make me lose my edge…would make me lose in a battle against Sephiroth. I'd killed him once… Or maybe I'd just hurt him enough to let the materia of Aerith's go into effect. Maybe all that needed to happen was for him to lose his consciousness.

Maybe…but I didn't care to remember. It was the past, that daunting thing that haunted me with every step I took and every breath that passed through my lungs. It was always there, echoing through my mind to the point where I just wished I could cut it out of me, remove it from me for all eternity. I just wanted to know the present, not the future or the past.

Then I wouldn't have to be the way I am anymore. I wouldn't be chained to anyone… I wouldn't be bitter that I had to meet so many misfortunes. And I wouldn't know that one day Sephiroth will find me…and that one day I will die. With just the present, there's no death to think of.

Leon lifted his head up and kissed me softly on the lips before he sat up in the bed. "That was…" he started, not sure of whether or not he should say something positive or negative about the fact I had fucked him senseless the previous night. He went silent, not finishing his sentence and instead placed his lips against mine in a much more demanding manner.

I pushed him away and stood up from the bed. He blinked at me as though I had rejected him…or something. I ran my fingers through his hair, placing a kiss on the top of his forehead before I stood.

I looked down and saw exactly how naked I was. I chuckled under my breath and pulled on boxers and my pants before I laid back down on the bed. It was nice to sit like that sometimes, so that I could just relax for a moment and act like there weren't any ghosts haunting me.

"It was fun," I told Leon, trying to supply him with words since I figured he wouldn't finish his sentence on his own.

I pushed Leon down on the bed so I could get him some clothes to get dressed with as well, lifting his waist up so I could slip on boxers. Maybe later I would lay with him again, but I was content enough knowing that I didn't always have to be the fuck toy.

That was the first battle I had ever won with someone besides Vincent. Sex was a fight where someone always had to submit. In most relationships it was the female…but unfortunately for me I wasn't interested in something with so many holes that I hadn't created. This time, for the first time in such a long while, I hadn't had to… But with Vincent, it wasn't really a battle anymore. It was more like an offering. The one that submitted had the hardest roll to take…so we usually took turns without the request being spoken.

That was true comfort, just like the comfort I gained from Leon. It was false…deceiving…and wouldn't last forever as it made me feel it would. That was what I had to escape now…before I became trapped. Though, it wasn't like Sephiroth's…

Sephiroth always made me feel as though I was suffocating in some great painful cage. Like I was being stabbed and as each day past the knife went deeper…and the blade grew so that it may go on for eternity.

I had suspicions…about what would happen. I just had to hope Sephiroth would never find me.

"Who is the one you wanted to protect?" I asked him quietly.

"A person whose name you will never know…"

Notes: Sorry about the long time to update T_T School starts tomorrow and I had to get some shopping done ^^ Oh! And guess what I forgot…school supplies! XD There's also some issues with one of my classes (evil IB coordinator has contacting people issues…hate hate )

Ayame: Keep thinking XD I'm sure you'll come up with an answer soon =3

Okayu: *sobs* Why? Why must school distract me from doing this? XD I looooove to keep up the… *edits a words* work ^^

Louie: Hmm…wonder if they can both be seme at the same time? XD Hmm, gives me something to think about in English tomorrow ^^ (btw, I'm convinced my whole English department is run by gay men XD I swear O_O; )

Chicken: I hope you like this chapter too o.o Thank you for reviewing so much XD *loves*

Hmm…updates will probably be every other day, or around that ^^ Depends on how much I have to do and what I want to do XD Don't worry…eventually there will be a plot o.o; Wait…do I have one? Dunno O_o;