Lost, Confused, Unkind (Sequel To "Freaked")
Chapter 27
The 'so called' little gathering was still in full swing by 3am when we got a call from reception saying they'd had complaints from some guests about the noise! Shannon had the camcorder out so there had been various stupid acts going on (including Jay trying to drink a beer whilst doing a handstand against the wall!!) so the noise levels had been raised a little & I wasn't surprised we were getting complaints! Some of the guys decided to call it a night so, if I remember rightly, it was left to Me, Matt, Jeff, Shane, Adam, Shannon & Jay to finish off the beers! Shannon still had the camcorder going & I flipped him the finger when he pointed it in my direction! Matt decided he was going to kick Jay's ass on Mortal Kombat so I leaned my head against the pillow & closed my eyes.
"Budge up!" I opened one eye to see Shane standing above me so I sat up & swung my legs out over the side of the bed. "Want another one?" He held his bottle of beer up.
"Yeah go on, why not!"
He pulled a bottle of beer out from under the bed & grinned, "My secret supply!" he sat down next to me & handed me a bottle. I knew I shouldn't really be having any more but I'd past the point of logical thinking & therefore didn't give much of a damn!
"So do you guys do this a lot when you're on the road?"
"Sometimes!" he smiled, "Oh if only Vince knew what we got up to sometimes when he was tucked up in his penthouse suite!"
"Vince? Isn't he your dad?" I laughed.
"Yeah, but I only call him Dad when we're at home!" he winked. "So, Bec-the-nanny, how are you finding life on the road with this bunch of dick heads?"
"Well, Shane-the-slave-driver I kinda like it actually! Tiring though!"
He nodded, "Hey Shannon!" he shouted, "Bring that thing over here a minute……Adam!" Adam looked up & Shane waved him over.
"What ARE you doing?" I asked curiously.
"Come here!" he pulled me to my feet & positioned me against a bare wall then did the same to Adam. "Ok here's your unofficial WWE screen test!"
"What?"
"Interview Adam, Um I mean Edge!" he took the camera from Shannon & pointed it at us.
"Nooooo!" I giggled & held my hand up to the lense!
"Go on! Just give it a go!" Shane laughed.
"Shane dude I really need to pee!" Adam ran off into the bathroom but Matt had finished his game so Shane grabbed him & put him in Adam's place!
"Ok go on Bec!" Shane laughed from behind the camera.
"Ok! Ok!" I laughed & held up the beer bottle like a microphone & cleared my throat. I burst out laughing again! I couldn't get any words out!
"Come on!" Shane moaned.
"Ok! Alright!" I coughed, "Ok, Matt Hardy…" I bit my lip to stop myself laughing again! "You have to face….um…The Undertaker in a steel cage match later tonight, what are your thoughts on that match?" I moved the 'microphone' to Matt's mouth.
"Well, my first thought is thankyou, darling, for putting me in a steel cage match with the Undertaker!!" I laughed. "Ok so my second thought would be Holy Shit!" Shane could hardly keep the camera still he was laughing so much! "And my third thought would be if it wasn't for my Mattitude…." Matt was interrupted when Adam came out of the bathroom & speared him onto the bed!! He pinned him & Jeff jumped up & did the three count!
"And Edge gets the victory over the gay boy!" Adam shouted as he jumped up & down with his arms in the air! What followed was an all out war between Matt, Jeff & Adam on the bed & Shane took the camera from his eye as we stood back & watched the ensuing mayhem.
"I really don't think the other guests should be hearing this!" Shane laughed.
I leaned my back against the wall, slid down until my ass hit the floor & I took another gulp of my beer.
"He'll never get up for work you realize!" I said to Shane as he sat down beside me a little more gracefully than I had done!
"Neither will I so that's ok!" he grinned. "So how long have you & Matt been together?" A boot landed at my feet so I picked it up & threw it back at the guys hitting Jeff on the head & we both laughed.
"Oh I dunno…..6 maybe 7 months? Not long really!"
Shane nodded, "Well I think you guys make a great couple!"
"Thanks!" I gulped some more beer.
"No, seriously, you two look good together! Must be love!" He grinned.
"Yeah, something like that!" I smiled but inside I was thinking 'yeah I wish!'
"A few years ago he was with a girl, well they looked a lot like you two look like together!"
"Oh? And what happened to this super woman?"
"Dwayne married her!"
My eyes widened & then I burst out laughing! "You are kidding me right?"
He laughed & shook his head. "Nope!"
"Oh my God!" I laughed, "Man it's not even funny!"
Shane smiled, "Yeah, they're ok now, Matt & Dwayne, but Christ it was a nightmare to begin with!"
"I can believe that!" I gulped from my bottle again, which was almost empty. "Well so did they have an affair or what?"
"Well who knows for sure? They say not….but….ah well as far as I'm aware she finished it because of the wrestling, y'know the schedule, she couldn't handle him being away all the time. So I guess it was a knife in the heart when three months later the shit hit the fan, if you excuse my language!" he smiled, "So personally………….. three months?" Shane wrinkled his nose up & shrugged his shoulders, "Well figure it out! It's not for me to say! And I reckon it damn near broke his heart! He was bad enough when she left him but after finding out she was with Dwayne…well…."
"Go figure!" I said quietly, looking over at Matt in the middle of the scrum.
"Oh it's nothing for you to worry about now!"
"Hm that's not it Shane, it's just like there's so much stuff I don't know about him y'know? You're sitting here telling me all this stuff & it's like you're talking about a completely different person! Makes me realize I don't really know him at all!" I suddenly felt very sober indeed!
"Ah….." Shane stood up, "You just look after him! Love him! He's a great guy!" I looked up at Shane & nodded. "Well, I'm turning in or I'll look like shit in…" he looked at his watch & groaned, "3 and a half hours!" I smiled. "Alright you lot! The boss is putting his foot down! Bed the lot of you! You're already ugly enough without missing your beauty sleep!"
After a few moans and groans the guys headed for the door. "Um…Matt? Er….EXCUSE ME GUYS!!!!" I shouted & pointed at the heap on the bed!
"Ah screw him I'm goin to bed!" Jay laughed & walked out of the door, followed by Shane, Shannon & Adam!
"Well, come on he can't stay there I need my bed!" I tried to hoist Jeff off the bed but Matt stopped me.
"It's ok I got it!" he held him up.
"I'll give you a hand!" I put my arm around Jeff's waist & his head lolled onto my shoulder & I giggled.
"I said I've got it!" Matt snapped & started to walk away with Jeff.
"Matt? Is there something wrong?"
"No just, well I can manage to get him to bed! It's not the first time!" He dragged Jeff out of the door. He hadn't wanted me to touch Jeff that was pretty obvious! I sighed & started to clear away some of the empty beer bottles that were lying around on the floor. I didn't notice Matt standing in the doorway until he spoke.
"He said your name!"
I jumped & dropped some of the bottles! "Jesus Christ Matt! Don't do that to me!" He just hung his head. "What did you say?"
Matt looked at me & shook his head, "Nothin' it doesn't matter!" He walked into the room & took some of the bottles from my hands, putting them on the bedside table. "Leave those!"
"Oh Matt I just don't wanna have to face all this shit in the morn…."
"We need to talk Bec!"
I gulped, "Not now! Not after all this beer!"
"No, actually I think now would be a very good time!"
He sat down & put his head in his hands & sighed.
"Matt, you're drunk & I'm about legless!" I sat down beside him on the bed & put my arm around his shoulders, "Let's just get some sleep yeah?"
He turned to face me & took hold of both of my hands, "Bec…I..I do….well I care about you a lot y'know that don't you?"
"Hmm…. Let me see, erm NO actually I didn't know that at all!" I was too drunk to care what I was saying to him! I smiled sarcastically in his face.
"What?"
"Well Matt you just have a funny way of showing it so no I didn't know that you even gave a shit about me!"
"How can you say that?"
I stood up, "Oh it's pretty fucking easy really! Take tonight for example! I learned that Dwayne married your ex girlfriend from Shane McMahon! Did you tell me this? No Matt you didn't!" I was yelling at him now I couldn't help myself! "Y'know it made me realize I learned everything I know about you from your damn entrance video!!" Matt just looked up at me & didn't say a word. "Ok so add this to your Matt Stats….how about Matt likes to piss people off to show he cares about them! Oh or here's a good one, Matt Hardy doen't actually give a shit about anyone but himself! Yeah that would look pretty cool on the Titantron!!" Still he didn't say a word to me & that annoyed me even more!! I went over to him & shoved his shoulder! "Don't you wanna get up….yell at me? Call me a bitch! Yeah go on Matt!! Tell me how you really feel about me! Tell me how much you despise me & think I'm a……a freak!" I pushed him again, I just wanted him to show some emotion, anything!
"I don't think you're a freak!" he said quietly & calmly.
"Oh really? Well how DO you feel about me Matt because I'm buggered if I know! I never seem to know where I stand with you!"
Finally I'd pushed him too far & he stood up! "You knew how it was going to be from day one!" he raised his voice a little but still he wasn't quite shouting at me although he was right in my face & I did feel a little un nerved! I took a step backwards so I wasn't craning my neck to stare him in the face. "That day at the hospital, I told you how it was gonna be & you accepted that!"
"Yeah, well that was then!"
"Oh right well sorry but I can't give you any more than what I offered you in the first place!"
"THAT WAS LIKE 6 MONTHS AGO MATT!!" I screamed at him, "6 FUCKING MONTHS!!"
"YOU KNEW HOW IT WAS GOING TO BE!! I NEVER PRETENDED & I NEVER LEAD YOU ON!!!" He was shouting now & pointing his finger right in my face, his face was slightly flushed & I slapped his finger away.
"So, nothing's changed is that what you're telling me? In all this time we've been together, your feelings haven't changed for me in the slightest?" We stared at each other & I was shaking I was so mad at him. "You still can't say that you love me?"
Matt looked away & rubbed his eyes, "No." he said quietly.
I nodded & walked out of the room, slamming the door behind me.
Chapter 27
The 'so called' little gathering was still in full swing by 3am when we got a call from reception saying they'd had complaints from some guests about the noise! Shannon had the camcorder out so there had been various stupid acts going on (including Jay trying to drink a beer whilst doing a handstand against the wall!!) so the noise levels had been raised a little & I wasn't surprised we were getting complaints! Some of the guys decided to call it a night so, if I remember rightly, it was left to Me, Matt, Jeff, Shane, Adam, Shannon & Jay to finish off the beers! Shannon still had the camcorder going & I flipped him the finger when he pointed it in my direction! Matt decided he was going to kick Jay's ass on Mortal Kombat so I leaned my head against the pillow & closed my eyes.
"Budge up!" I opened one eye to see Shane standing above me so I sat up & swung my legs out over the side of the bed. "Want another one?" He held his bottle of beer up.
"Yeah go on, why not!"
He pulled a bottle of beer out from under the bed & grinned, "My secret supply!" he sat down next to me & handed me a bottle. I knew I shouldn't really be having any more but I'd past the point of logical thinking & therefore didn't give much of a damn!
"So do you guys do this a lot when you're on the road?"
"Sometimes!" he smiled, "Oh if only Vince knew what we got up to sometimes when he was tucked up in his penthouse suite!"
"Vince? Isn't he your dad?" I laughed.
"Yeah, but I only call him Dad when we're at home!" he winked. "So, Bec-the-nanny, how are you finding life on the road with this bunch of dick heads?"
"Well, Shane-the-slave-driver I kinda like it actually! Tiring though!"
He nodded, "Hey Shannon!" he shouted, "Bring that thing over here a minute……Adam!" Adam looked up & Shane waved him over.
"What ARE you doing?" I asked curiously.
"Come here!" he pulled me to my feet & positioned me against a bare wall then did the same to Adam. "Ok here's your unofficial WWE screen test!"
"What?"
"Interview Adam, Um I mean Edge!" he took the camera from Shannon & pointed it at us.
"Nooooo!" I giggled & held my hand up to the lense!
"Go on! Just give it a go!" Shane laughed.
"Shane dude I really need to pee!" Adam ran off into the bathroom but Matt had finished his game so Shane grabbed him & put him in Adam's place!
"Ok go on Bec!" Shane laughed from behind the camera.
"Ok! Ok!" I laughed & held up the beer bottle like a microphone & cleared my throat. I burst out laughing again! I couldn't get any words out!
"Come on!" Shane moaned.
"Ok! Alright!" I coughed, "Ok, Matt Hardy…" I bit my lip to stop myself laughing again! "You have to face….um…The Undertaker in a steel cage match later tonight, what are your thoughts on that match?" I moved the 'microphone' to Matt's mouth.
"Well, my first thought is thankyou, darling, for putting me in a steel cage match with the Undertaker!!" I laughed. "Ok so my second thought would be Holy Shit!" Shane could hardly keep the camera still he was laughing so much! "And my third thought would be if it wasn't for my Mattitude…." Matt was interrupted when Adam came out of the bathroom & speared him onto the bed!! He pinned him & Jeff jumped up & did the three count!
"And Edge gets the victory over the gay boy!" Adam shouted as he jumped up & down with his arms in the air! What followed was an all out war between Matt, Jeff & Adam on the bed & Shane took the camera from his eye as we stood back & watched the ensuing mayhem.
"I really don't think the other guests should be hearing this!" Shane laughed.
I leaned my back against the wall, slid down until my ass hit the floor & I took another gulp of my beer.
"He'll never get up for work you realize!" I said to Shane as he sat down beside me a little more gracefully than I had done!
"Neither will I so that's ok!" he grinned. "So how long have you & Matt been together?" A boot landed at my feet so I picked it up & threw it back at the guys hitting Jeff on the head & we both laughed.
"Oh I dunno…..6 maybe 7 months? Not long really!"
Shane nodded, "Well I think you guys make a great couple!"
"Thanks!" I gulped some more beer.
"No, seriously, you two look good together! Must be love!" He grinned.
"Yeah, something like that!" I smiled but inside I was thinking 'yeah I wish!'
"A few years ago he was with a girl, well they looked a lot like you two look like together!"
"Oh? And what happened to this super woman?"
"Dwayne married her!"
My eyes widened & then I burst out laughing! "You are kidding me right?"
He laughed & shook his head. "Nope!"
"Oh my God!" I laughed, "Man it's not even funny!"
Shane smiled, "Yeah, they're ok now, Matt & Dwayne, but Christ it was a nightmare to begin with!"
"I can believe that!" I gulped from my bottle again, which was almost empty. "Well so did they have an affair or what?"
"Well who knows for sure? They say not….but….ah well as far as I'm aware she finished it because of the wrestling, y'know the schedule, she couldn't handle him being away all the time. So I guess it was a knife in the heart when three months later the shit hit the fan, if you excuse my language!" he smiled, "So personally………….. three months?" Shane wrinkled his nose up & shrugged his shoulders, "Well figure it out! It's not for me to say! And I reckon it damn near broke his heart! He was bad enough when she left him but after finding out she was with Dwayne…well…."
"Go figure!" I said quietly, looking over at Matt in the middle of the scrum.
"Oh it's nothing for you to worry about now!"
"Hm that's not it Shane, it's just like there's so much stuff I don't know about him y'know? You're sitting here telling me all this stuff & it's like you're talking about a completely different person! Makes me realize I don't really know him at all!" I suddenly felt very sober indeed!
"Ah….." Shane stood up, "You just look after him! Love him! He's a great guy!" I looked up at Shane & nodded. "Well, I'm turning in or I'll look like shit in…" he looked at his watch & groaned, "3 and a half hours!" I smiled. "Alright you lot! The boss is putting his foot down! Bed the lot of you! You're already ugly enough without missing your beauty sleep!"
After a few moans and groans the guys headed for the door. "Um…Matt? Er….EXCUSE ME GUYS!!!!" I shouted & pointed at the heap on the bed!
"Ah screw him I'm goin to bed!" Jay laughed & walked out of the door, followed by Shane, Shannon & Adam!
"Well, come on he can't stay there I need my bed!" I tried to hoist Jeff off the bed but Matt stopped me.
"It's ok I got it!" he held him up.
"I'll give you a hand!" I put my arm around Jeff's waist & his head lolled onto my shoulder & I giggled.
"I said I've got it!" Matt snapped & started to walk away with Jeff.
"Matt? Is there something wrong?"
"No just, well I can manage to get him to bed! It's not the first time!" He dragged Jeff out of the door. He hadn't wanted me to touch Jeff that was pretty obvious! I sighed & started to clear away some of the empty beer bottles that were lying around on the floor. I didn't notice Matt standing in the doorway until he spoke.
"He said your name!"
I jumped & dropped some of the bottles! "Jesus Christ Matt! Don't do that to me!" He just hung his head. "What did you say?"
Matt looked at me & shook his head, "Nothin' it doesn't matter!" He walked into the room & took some of the bottles from my hands, putting them on the bedside table. "Leave those!"
"Oh Matt I just don't wanna have to face all this shit in the morn…."
"We need to talk Bec!"
I gulped, "Not now! Not after all this beer!"
"No, actually I think now would be a very good time!"
He sat down & put his head in his hands & sighed.
"Matt, you're drunk & I'm about legless!" I sat down beside him on the bed & put my arm around his shoulders, "Let's just get some sleep yeah?"
He turned to face me & took hold of both of my hands, "Bec…I..I do….well I care about you a lot y'know that don't you?"
"Hmm…. Let me see, erm NO actually I didn't know that at all!" I was too drunk to care what I was saying to him! I smiled sarcastically in his face.
"What?"
"Well Matt you just have a funny way of showing it so no I didn't know that you even gave a shit about me!"
"How can you say that?"
I stood up, "Oh it's pretty fucking easy really! Take tonight for example! I learned that Dwayne married your ex girlfriend from Shane McMahon! Did you tell me this? No Matt you didn't!" I was yelling at him now I couldn't help myself! "Y'know it made me realize I learned everything I know about you from your damn entrance video!!" Matt just looked up at me & didn't say a word. "Ok so add this to your Matt Stats….how about Matt likes to piss people off to show he cares about them! Oh or here's a good one, Matt Hardy doen't actually give a shit about anyone but himself! Yeah that would look pretty cool on the Titantron!!" Still he didn't say a word to me & that annoyed me even more!! I went over to him & shoved his shoulder! "Don't you wanna get up….yell at me? Call me a bitch! Yeah go on Matt!! Tell me how you really feel about me! Tell me how much you despise me & think I'm a……a freak!" I pushed him again, I just wanted him to show some emotion, anything!
"I don't think you're a freak!" he said quietly & calmly.
"Oh really? Well how DO you feel about me Matt because I'm buggered if I know! I never seem to know where I stand with you!"
Finally I'd pushed him too far & he stood up! "You knew how it was going to be from day one!" he raised his voice a little but still he wasn't quite shouting at me although he was right in my face & I did feel a little un nerved! I took a step backwards so I wasn't craning my neck to stare him in the face. "That day at the hospital, I told you how it was gonna be & you accepted that!"
"Yeah, well that was then!"
"Oh right well sorry but I can't give you any more than what I offered you in the first place!"
"THAT WAS LIKE 6 MONTHS AGO MATT!!" I screamed at him, "6 FUCKING MONTHS!!"
"YOU KNEW HOW IT WAS GOING TO BE!! I NEVER PRETENDED & I NEVER LEAD YOU ON!!!" He was shouting now & pointing his finger right in my face, his face was slightly flushed & I slapped his finger away.
"So, nothing's changed is that what you're telling me? In all this time we've been together, your feelings haven't changed for me in the slightest?" We stared at each other & I was shaking I was so mad at him. "You still can't say that you love me?"
Matt looked away & rubbed his eyes, "No." he said quietly.
I nodded & walked out of the room, slamming the door behind me.