-+- Standard Disclaimer -+-
The characters depicted in this story are not mine. Ranma 1/2 and all other related characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Story is partially based on "All You Zombies" By Robert Heinlein. I have written All You Ranmas purely for entertainment.
-+- End of Disclaimer -+-
All You Ranmas
A fiction novella by Dave Zhang (dzhang@its.caltech.edu). Comments and criticisms welcomed. Copyright 2001.
"This text is spoken." 'This text is thought.'
Chapter 3: Mystery
April 28, 1998, Nerima
"HI-YAH!" shouted Ranma as swung a knifehand at Genma. Genma easily leapt over Ranma's attack and snickered, "Ha ha boy. You aren't concentrating very well today. That's the fifth time you've done a roundhouse-jab-knifehand combination. What did I tell you? Variation is the true path of a martial artist."
Genma was quite pleased with himself. Today, he has lasted quite a bit longer than normal. This probably meant, as Genma verbally suggested, that Ranma wasn't concentrating as well today. But of course, in Genma mind, it was proof that Genma himself was getting better too, and that old age and decrepitude were still several decades too early to try to claim him.
Genma's daydreaming of winning Olympic titles was interrupted by Ranma's throwing him into the koi pond. "Hah! Old man. Should learn from your own adages. Concentrate!"
Ranma walked off to go take a bath before breakfast, leaving a very upset and very angry panda wading to the shores of the koi pond.
Twenty minutes later, Ranma came out of the furo, smelling much nicer, and was about to run down the stairs when he saw Nabiki struggling to hobble down the stair. Without second thought, Ranma grabbed Nabiki into his arms and ran down the stairs. No sooner had he reached the bottom step and put Nabiki down did the entire dojo resonate to the din of...
"RANMA!!! YOU WOMANIZING PERVERT!!!"
Ranma was promptly batted into the koi pond, courtesy of Akane's interdimensional mallet. Swimming out of the pond, Ranma-chan yelled, "Whadja do that for!?" and walked upstairs to take another bath.
Kasumi looked on, and said, "Oh my. Akane, Dr. Tofu told Ranma to help Nabiki around."
Akane flustered, but maintained her self-righteousness. "Well, he didn't have to hold Nabiki that close!"
Nabiki, for her part, was becoming more sure every moment that Akane was indeed adopted. 'How ungrateful! Akane's actually a guest too!' Nabiki briefly contemplated telling Akane there and then that she was adopted, but decided against it. 'Well, I don't like how she's abusing Ranma but I don't want her to move out either. I guess I'll tell her and Ranma privately after amassing more evidence, and then she'll willingly relinquish Ranma to me.' Circulation to her cheeks increased at that thought.
***
Ranma was confused. In walking Nabiki to school, Nabiki had many times tottered and almost fallen. Ranma, of course, was there to save her every time microseconds before she hit the ground. 'Funny. Nabiki was walking much better than this last night. I guess the cast is throwing her weight balance off.'
Akane was fuming. 'That pervert! It's just like him to touch a pretty girl every chance he gets.' Akane glanced at Nabiki, who again was in the process of falling. Just like the ten or so times earlier, Ranma leapt to Nabiki and put his arm around Nabiki's waist to steady her.
Ranma, upon noticing Akane staring at the interaction between himself and Nabiki, looked flustered, and said, "What? She's YOUR sister; I don't see you volunteering to help her get to school!"
"Fine! Let me do it next time then! It's not like you're that much better than me at martial arts!"
Nabiki, at the moment entranced by Akane and Ranma's conversation, tripped over a stone in the road, and fell, for the first time today, unintentionally.
Akane, seeing her opportunity to prove her martial arts prowess, attempted to leap towards Nabiki in mimicry of what Ranma had done minutes earlier, only to realize barely a half a second after her feet left the ground that her agility was nowhere near Ranma's. At her current trajectory and velocity, she would barely cover a fourth of the ground to Nabiki before Nabiki hit the ground.
Ranma, seeing that Akane obviously wasn't going to be able to make the save, leapt his now routine leap from on top of the fence towards Nabiki. He would have easily made it and saved Nabiki yet again, were it not for the fact that he was nailed to the ground in the middle of his trajectory by Shampoo and her bicycle.
Having now been accustomed to being saved by Ranma, Nabiki was totally surprised when Ranma did not reach her on time, and did not brace herself for the imminent collision, thus being dealt a lot more pain than necessary.
'Damn that Shampoo! Always acting cute but trying all sorts of underhanded schemes to get Ranma to marry her. Not that there is a chance in Hell that Ranma would pick her. Even if Akane wasn't around, there's still no chance for her! There's no way she can win against Ukyo; Ranma's feelings toward Ukyo are almost as strong as his towards Akane. Yep, Ukyo's the runner up...'
Nabiki cold sweated as she realized that she was in the same position as Shampoo. 'Damn! I guess things aren't going to be as simple as I originally planned. If I just tell Akane the truth and get Daddy to change the engagement, then Ranma will probably turn to his Ucchan. Well, maybe he'll choose me at Genma's behest for the honor of the school.' Nabiki shook her head. 'No Nabiki, don't delude yourself! Ranma stays in his engagement with Akane because he wants to, not because of honor. If I tell him that Akane is adopted, the two most likely outcomes are him still accepting Akane as his 'main' fiancee, and him taking on Ukyo as his 'main' fiancee. Knowing Ranma and Akane, the first outcome will probably transpire. Ranma will valiantly declare in front of everyone that he'll marry Akane anyway, and then Akane will be so touched that she'd marry him then and there. No, that's not what you want. That's not good at all. No, Ranma must not know about this right now.
'Well, it's a good thing that I'm the only one who even suspects this right now, and I'm going to keep it that way for a while. Don't need Ryoga or Kuno blurting out secrets.'
Nabiki glanced at the trio of Ranma and two of his fiancees. Their heated discussion seemed to be winding down now after Ranma sustained some physical abuse. Ranma approached Nabiki, but his head was still turned, yelling at Akane, "Argh! You stupid tomboy! You're going to make us late!"
Ranma broke into a run as he turned his head to face Nabiki still approaching her. Nearing Nabiki, Ranma did not stop; rather, Ranma scooped Nabiki into his arms, and leapt onto the top of the closest building.
"Hey Nabiki, I'm going to take you to school. Don't squirm or complain now; you're in no condition to carry water buckets in the hall."
Nabiki had no intentions of complaining. After Ranma carried her in this manner to Dr. Tofu's yesterday, Nabiki had longed to carried like that by Ranma again. She quietly placed her hand on Ranma's chest as he leapt to the next building. They travelled at top speed to school so that Nabiki won't be late, leaving a fuming Akane running after them.
***
School passed rather uneventfully, save for Kuno verbally attacking Ranma for "being close to fair Akane's sister," and being physically attacked by Ranma as punishment. The outcome was the expected, and Nabiki failed to make any money in terms of gambling profits, as no one would bet on Kuno even though she set odds to 100:1. In fact she lost a couple hundred yen when students scrambled to bet on Ranma before she closed betting.
Sustaining financial loss had a barely discernable effect on Nabiki today. Even though she normally wore her Ice Queen mask at Furikan, Anger would seep out of the edges of the mask when financial losses were manifested. Today, Nabiki bore it with absolute uninterest, as she had other, more important, matters on her mind.
By the time school let out, Nabiki had formed a tentative plan. 'After I collect enough evidence to convince Akane, I'll break the news to her gently. I'll tell her that she'll no longer have to marry Ranma. Then I'll tell her that I'll see her as a sister no matter what, and that her secret is safe with me. Talk about killing multiple birds with one stone! She'll be guilt-tripped into distancing herself from Ranma, I'll have her complete goodwill, and Ukyo and Shampoo will be none the wiser when I start getting closer to Ranma.'
She was smiling happily at her plan when she arrived at the school gates, where Ranma and Akane waited for her.
"Hey, Nabiki, after yesterday, me and Akane think we should walk you home every day from now on."
Nabiki looked at Ranma with genuine happiness. "Thank you."
Upon seeing in her peripheral vision the form of Akane drawing out her battle aura, Nabiki quickly turned to her "sibling" and said, "I'm so glad you're my sister."
***
May 3, 1998, Nerima, Tendo Dojo
Nabiki was frustrated. It's Sunday afternoon, and Nabiki had no more proof of Akane's being adopted than she did when she first came upon the revelation on Monday night. After exhaustively searching through the records of all local orphanages of the years from 1980 to 1986, through channels both legal and illicit, Nabiki came to the conclusion that Akane never lived in an orphanage. And, as far as the information she could gather, neither Daddy nor Mother had actually ever visited an orphanage.
This was quite an unexpected thorny obstacle. Well, adopting from an orphanage had seemed to be the most likely way to acquire Akane. Now Nabiki had no leads. While Akane *might* be her real first name, her last name most definitely was not Tendo before entering this family. So, the upshot is that Nabiki knew a birthday that may be a few days off, a date of adoption accurate to within a few years, a first name that might not be real, and a last name that was definitely not real. This would be a difficult case for even the most elite professional P.I.'s, not to mention an amateur like Nabiki.
The abortive search for evidence wasn't Nabiki's only cause for grief. She made hardly any money this week, so enthralled was she with her quest. Add to that the fact that Shampoo and Ukyo have morally gotten past their embarrassing actions at the wedding and having started pursuing Ranma like before. Nabiki was starting to understand Akane's frequent anger outbursts, except she held everything on the inside, and was perceptive enough to blame Ranma's fiancees and not Ranma. Or so she thought; the truth was more due to favoritism rather than perspicacity.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the familiar sound of Ranma breaking the surface of the koi pond. Nabiki rolled her eyes, and turned to see what the cause was of the most recent flight, as she had not heard raised voice seconds ago.
"Whatcha do that for!?"
"Oh, be grateful; I just saw Auntie Nodoka approaching the house."
Genma who had to this time been imperturbable in his game of shogi, quickly leapt to join Ranma in the pond.
"You coulda done it using a glass of water, you vi--Oh hi, Auntie!"
"Hi there, Ranko-chan. Playing in the pond with Mr. Panda I see." Nodoka smiled sweetly.
"Eh... Hai!"
"Mr. Panda" was squirming quite painfully under Ranko's fierce underwater pinch.
Nodoka turned to Soun Tendo and said, "Hello, Tendo-san. Have you heard anything from Genma lately?"
"Nope!" Sound violently shook his head, "That postcard I showed you was the last of the written correspondence I ever got from Genma." Well, technically true; there's no real need to write letters to each other when living under the same roof.
"Oh... that's too bad." Nodoka walked toward the kitchen. Kasumi walked out at the same time, and greeted her, "Oh hi, Mrs. Saotome. You're early. Daddy? I bumped into Mrs. Saotome at the grocery store a couple days ago and invited her to have dinner with us today."
"Oh, I came by early to help with the cooking. You don't mind, do you, Kasumi?" Nodoka put her basket on the kitchen table, and started removing various vegetables and meats from the basket.
"I'll help!" volunteered Ranma-chan as she was toweling herself dry.
"Glad to hear it!" said Nodoka, turning around to face the living room, "Would you like to help as well, Akane?"
Ranma-chan, Soun, Mr. Panda, Nabiki shook their heads in unison at Nodoka, but Akane ignored them, and beamed happily, "I would *love* to, Auntie!"
***
"Oh, Mr. Panda must be weeping tears of joy at receiving so much panda food today!" said an amused Nodoka. No matter how often she comes to visit the Tendo household, the actions of their household pet, Mr. Panda, never ceased to amuse her. It almost reminded her of her husband.
Genma, natually, was not weeping tears of joy. Seeing the Tendos and Ramna feasting on Nodoka's wonderful home-cooking while he was relegated Akane's 'experiments' was definitely enough to put him to tears. It was times like this that made him actually consider reneging on Tendo's promise and support Ukyo's or Shampoo's claim; after all, as father-in-all, he would have to eat Ranma's wife's cooking once in a while. After all, all three girls seemed perfectly capable of financially supporting him in his old age.
'Hm... either Akane's improving, or she wasn't able to find bleach today.' thought Genma after taking an experimental bite. Glancing into the living room, Genma saw mountains of food disappear into Ranma's mouth. 'That ungrateful boy! He's intentionally eating more than he can just so that I will have less!' thought Genma angrily, completely forgetting that he does the same to Ranma every morning.
At that moment, he caught Ranma-chan's eye and the two locked gazes at each other for a few moments, with Ranma-chan shooting him a victorious smirk.
"Huh?" said Ranma-chan, as he realized that his mother was talking to him.
"Oh, it's nothing. I was just saying that your ferocious eating style reminds me of Genma..."
** Flashback: June 10, 1978, an upscale restaurant near Nerima **
Nodoka stared her date wolf down his chicken entree, and start on his fried rice. Less than four minutes after the waiter brought their food, Genma had completely cleaned off his plate, while Nodoka had not even started working on her meal, so startled was she by the quick, executioner-like efficiency of Genma when dealing with food.
Genma, having finished his meal, looked to Nodoka, and saw her untouched food. "What's wrong, Nod-chan--May I call you that? Does the food not suit your taste?" said Genma as he eyed Nodoka's food. This restaurant was definitely something in terms of food quality; if only their quantity was generous...
"Of course you can call me Nod-chan. Oh no, I haven't tried it yet... My, you must be really hungry."
Genma, lacking any prepared smart response, said the first thing that came to mind, "Seeing you gives me appetite!"
Nodoka giggled at this completely nonsensical statement.
She was enjoying herself. True, this is only their first date, but she liked the man--he kept her amused. Genma was so unlike any other man she had ever met; the others bored her so.
After taking a small bit of rice into her mouth, chewing it slowly, and finally swallowing it, Nodoka said, "You know what, Genma? I think this is the start of a great relationship."
** End of Flashback **
Nodoka softly told Ranma and the Tendos about her first date, with her eyes closed, as if reliving wonderful memories that will be savored always.
Ranma and the Tendos were shocked--not by the fact that Genma had pretty much remained unchanged for some twenty years, but by the fact that someone would actually like him because of his despicable traits.
Nodoka continued sadly, "It's too bad I haven't seen Genma or Ranma in so long. I miss them so!"
Tears flowed from Nodoka's eyes as she sobbing quietly. She wiped away her tears, and collected herself again. "I'm sorry for ruining the happy mood for you all... it's just that... my daughter would have been your age if she survived childbirth, Ranko, and probably would have had a similar eating style."
"DAUGHTER!?" The group collectively exclaimed. In the corner of her eye, Nabiki saw a certain panda try to blend into its background.
"Oh my, Mrs. Saotome. I didn't realize you had a daughter."
"She was Ranma's twin sister. Genma and I would have named her Ranko, just like you," said Nodoka, facing Ranma-chan. "It's too bad that she didn't have an opportunity at life like Ranma did " Nodoka was starting to cry again.
"She died a few hours after conception. I wasn't even there to see her for a second time before she passed away; I had fainted from exhaustion. Genma, out of consideration for me, even tried to conceal it from me."
** Flashback: September 15, 1980, Nerima Hospital **
Sitting on a hospital bed, Nodoka stared at the birth certificate. In the row which said "Sex," a neatly written "female" was crossed out repeatedly, and a sloppily written "male" was written beside it.
"Genma, what is this?"
"Why, Nod-chan, it's Ranma's birth certificate," said Genma, who was sitting in a chair by the bed.
"I know that, but why is 'female' crossed out and replaced by 'male'?"
"Um... ah... the notary made a mistake, and I had him correct it."
Nodoka frowned. Something wasn't right here. She could tell from Genma's fidgety mien. But why would Genma lie to her? Genma had been completely honest to her for the two years that they had been married (or so she thought). "Genma? I remember the doctor saying 'It's a girl!' right before I fainted. Is there something you're not telling me?"
Genma tensed notably, and racked his brain trying to come up with a plausible extemporaneous explanation. Fate smiled on him this day.
"Nod-chan, I didn't want to tell you this but... you had twins..."
"Genma! That's wonderful news! I understand now, the notary must have been confused and thought you wanted to name our daughter 'Ranma.'"
Nodoka, seeing that her husband was still upset, continued, "Genma honey, don't worry, my parents are wealthy. I'll just ask my father for a small loan to cover for the costs of the other baby."
"No, that's not it, Nod-chan," said Genma, putting his brain to overtime in attempt to complete the explanation, "You see... uh... our daughter died shortly after she was born... I didn't want to tell you this because all it would've done is make you upset. Also, you're still weak from the childbirth ordeal, I didn't know how you would handle this news."
Nodoka collapsed back into her bed in shock at this 'news.' After the 'reality' of the situation sank in, she glomped Genma with a strength that would have rivaled Shampoo's seventeen years later. She sobbed hysterically for about twenty minutes.
"Where's Ranko's body?" asked Nodoka, having run out of tears, and starting to analyze the situation rationally.
"Um... ah... I don't think you should see that right now."
"Genma, I want to see my daughter! It's the least I can do for a daughter that I will never have an opportunity to raise."
Genma sweated, but the goddess of prevarication blessed him once again, "Well, Nod-chan, it's like this: I talked to the doctor and the nurses, and everyone agreed that it would be a good idea to keep this from you at least for a while until you recover physically. So we had her cremated several hours ago, and all personnel are under strict orders to tell you that you only had one child, that being Ranma."
"Oh... I understand now... Thank you Genma, for trying to protect me. I love you." Nodoka buried herself in Genma's chest again, crying out newly formed tears.
***
Later, the Saotomes checked out from the hospital, with Nodoka carrying "Ranma."
"Sir!" said Nodoka to the obstetrician who delivered Nodoka's baby, who happened to be walking by, "Thank you for taking care of my daughter."
"No problem. She's a very beautiful girl."
"Yes," Nodoka said quietly, "I'll bet she was."
The doctor, confused, was going to ask Nodoka what she meant when he caught Genma's glare and decided to keep quiet to preserve his own health.
** End of Flashback **
// Afterthoughts on this chapter:
Ah, back to the good ol' Nabiki we know. What? Did you think Nabiki was going to all of a sudden become and stay WAFFy?
Ok, can any one of you think of a better lie for Genma to tell than this? If so, I'd be happy to revise the story.
Oh, BTW, I've had several sources confirm that Nodoka never found out that Ranma and Ranko are the same person in the TV series. She did in the manga, but that doesn't matter; I haven't read the manga.