Lost, Confused, Unkind (Sequel To "Freaked")
Chapter 30
When I woke up Matt was still sound asleep in my arms & when I looked at the clock it was 9pm! I couldn't believe we'd slept all day & half the night aswell! Matt stirred and yawned.
"Hey! How long have you been awake?" he asked, sleepily.
"Oh not long!" I smiled down at him & he shuffled up the bed and kissed me, running his hand through my hair & sending tingles down my spine. His hand gently moved down my neck as we continued to kiss & then he cupped my breast & squeezed it gently making me catch my breath. He moved his mouth to my cheek & then down my neck & I could feel his breath, hot on my bare flesh & I swallowed hard & closed my eyes. His kisses continued downwards until he came to my breast where he circled my nipple with the tip of his tongue before gently taking it into his mouth & I gasped.
"You ok?" He whispered & I nodded. He rolled me on top of him so we were face to face & his finger traced my jaw line. "I wanna make you happy!" he said quietly.
"You do make me happy Matt! I love you!" I kissed him.
"But we don't have fun anymore! We're not friends like we used to be…" his voice trailed off & I knew he was right! We'd hardly seen each other & maybe it would have been better if I hadn't come on this trip at all! "I don't make you happy any more & I'm sorry!" he kissed my lips lightly.
"Matt, things have been a bit hectic lately but you do make me happy I promise you!"
Matt looked up at the celing. "I don't make you laugh any more, not the way Jeff does…" he paused, "Or Dwayne or Shane or Adam even!"
"Where's this come from?" I sat up & moved to his side, wrapping the sheet around my shoulders.
"Well I was watching you last night with all of those guys & well you looked happy! I feel like all I do these days is bring you down!"
I sighed, "Matt I am happy when I'm with you! Happy doesn't mean rolling around the floor splitting my sides!" I stroked his cheek & he turned & kissed my hand.
"Do you still love me?"
"I love you more!" I smiled & he seemed to cheer up a little. He rubbed my leg & smiled.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you!" he laughed, "We'll spend more time together I promise!"
"Haha well you'll be sick of the sight of me by the time we get home I bet!"
"I'll never.." he propped himself up on one elbow & reached up, putting his hand on the back of my neck & pulling me towards him, "…..ever…" he kissed me, "Get tired of looking…" he kissed me again, "…at you!" Again he kissed me & then smiled. "Even if you have caught some sort of Manic Panic disease from my brother!" he ruffled my hair where the red patch was & we both laughed. It sounds stupid now but I felt some huge relief that he actually noticed! It meant he was looking at me instead of around me & it was a damn good feeling to have!
Gently he rolled me onto my back & kissed me softly, running his tongue around the inside of my mouth. We made love like we'd never done before, it was slow & deep & all the time we weren't locked together in a kiss we were staring into each others eyes, while he ran his fingers slowly through my hair or over my face & neck! It was amazing, it felt like he loved me & I longed for that so much! I wanted to stay like that with him forever and an hour & a half later when we both climaxed together I had tears in my eyes he'd made me so happy!
By 11pm we decided to get dressed & try & get some food from somewhere! I couldn't even remember the last time I'd eaten things had been so crazy over the past few days!
We went out into the corridor. "Maybe I should check on Jeff?"
"Yeah he might wanna come along with us if he feels up to it? I might give Dwayne a knock if that's ok with you?"
"Sure thing babe!" He smiled. As I went to walk away he caught my hand & pulled me back into his arms for a kiss.
"Mmmm, what was that for?" I smiled.
"Oh no reason!" he smiled & kissed me again, I really was getting a lot of attention that night! Not that I was complaining!
Matt knocked on Jeff's door & went in & I poked my head around to see him sitting on his bed strumming his guitar! Matt didn't see me looking in, he had his back to the door so I gave Jeff a quick smile & left! I kinda needed to know he was ok myself & I felt better for seeing him up & alert! I knocked on Dwayne's door & he shouted, "It's open!" so I went inside. He was up & dressed, as a matter of fact he looked HOT DAMN in his leather pants & I whistled! "Check it out!!" I giggled. Dwayne held up his hands,
"Ladies please! I'm a married man!" He smirked.
"Yeah so I hear!" I raised my eyebrows!
"Awwww sorry to disappoint you!" he smiled.
"Get over yourself Johnson!" I laughed.
"So if it's not my body you're after what can I do for you?"
"Hey who said I wasn't after your body?" I winked & he laughed, "Ok! Ok! I'll admit it! Me & Matt were wondering if you wanted to go get something to eat with us?"
"Sounds like a plan I'm starving!" he grinned.
"Yeah hopefully Jeff will come along too, he's in there now trying to persuade him! So get ya coat & let's hit the bricks Rocky my boy!!"
He shook his head & laughed before grabbing a jacket from the bed, "You are spending waaay too much time with the Rock you know that?"
I looked at him innocently & said, "It doesn't matter how much time I'm spending with The Rock!"
"Get out of here!!" Dwayne laughed & pushed me out of the door!
Matt managed to persuade Jeff to come with us & even though I couldn't talk to him alone I was pleased he was with us all the same!
We went for Chinese & the night seemed to pass without a drama in sight! As we sat in the restaurant Matt held my hand or stroked my leg all the time, but there was something in the way he was paying me all this attention that I didn't like! He seemed to be keeping an eye on me & I had a feeling it was something to do with Jeff but I couldn't say for sure! I hardly spoke to Jeff all night though, I was too paranoid that my every move was being monitored! Eventually Matt went to the bathroom & Dwayne took the hint from my evil looks and followed him in leaving me alone with Jeff finally!!
"Are you ok?" I said as Jeff shuffled along the seat to be beside me.
"Yeah listen we haven't got long but I have to tell you he thinks I tried to kill myself last night!"
"I kinda got that feeling myself! What did he say?"
Jeff nervously looked over his shoulder, "That doesn't matter listen he thinks.." Jeff looked into my eyes, "well he thinks the reason I was trying to…commit suicide was….well…because there's something going on between me & you!"
"What? He said that??"
"No not in so many words but I know him Bec, I know how his mind works & it was the questions he asked me I just know that's what he was implying!"
"So, I guess we can't hang out as much then huh?" I said sadly.
Jeff sighed, "Well lets not give him any fuel for the fire! I know him & I know if he suspects that he'll kick my ass & ask questions later!" Jeff took hold of my hand & squeezed it. "Anyway things seem to be going very nicely for you two tonight!"
"Tell me about it! And I have no idea why he's all lovey dovey before you ask!"
Jeff smiled & looked down at our hands on the seat in between us, our fingers locked together, "look…" he rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb, "I know it's tempting fate but I need to talk to you about last night and if you're still adament that Matt shouldn't know then…"
"No I don't want to tell him, not yet!"
"Fine ok well…..meet me tonight!" Jeff's eyes sparkled like a naughty school kid & I would have laughed if I hadn't been so damn shocked that he'd even think of such a thing!
"I can't do that!"
"Wait until he's asleep then come to my room, I'll leave the door unlocked!"
"Oh God I don't know I mean…"
"Look it's up to you but I think we need a plan of action here don't you?" he looked around in the direction of the men's room again.
"I don't get ya?"
"Well the police won't do a damn thing! The bastard almost drowned me in a fucking bathtub! I'm not about to sit around on my ass waiting for him to put a bullet in my head Bec!" Jeff hissed at me through clenched teeth.
"Ok! Ok! I'll try but I'm not sure this is such a good idea!!"
Jeff smiled & I Smiled back at him, then we heard Matt talking to Dwayne behind us & Jeff quickly moved back along the seat. When they came back to the table Dwayne raised his eyebrows at me in a very disapproving manner!! I just looked away!
Chapter 30
When I woke up Matt was still sound asleep in my arms & when I looked at the clock it was 9pm! I couldn't believe we'd slept all day & half the night aswell! Matt stirred and yawned.
"Hey! How long have you been awake?" he asked, sleepily.
"Oh not long!" I smiled down at him & he shuffled up the bed and kissed me, running his hand through my hair & sending tingles down my spine. His hand gently moved down my neck as we continued to kiss & then he cupped my breast & squeezed it gently making me catch my breath. He moved his mouth to my cheek & then down my neck & I could feel his breath, hot on my bare flesh & I swallowed hard & closed my eyes. His kisses continued downwards until he came to my breast where he circled my nipple with the tip of his tongue before gently taking it into his mouth & I gasped.
"You ok?" He whispered & I nodded. He rolled me on top of him so we were face to face & his finger traced my jaw line. "I wanna make you happy!" he said quietly.
"You do make me happy Matt! I love you!" I kissed him.
"But we don't have fun anymore! We're not friends like we used to be…" his voice trailed off & I knew he was right! We'd hardly seen each other & maybe it would have been better if I hadn't come on this trip at all! "I don't make you happy any more & I'm sorry!" he kissed my lips lightly.
"Matt, things have been a bit hectic lately but you do make me happy I promise you!"
Matt looked up at the celing. "I don't make you laugh any more, not the way Jeff does…" he paused, "Or Dwayne or Shane or Adam even!"
"Where's this come from?" I sat up & moved to his side, wrapping the sheet around my shoulders.
"Well I was watching you last night with all of those guys & well you looked happy! I feel like all I do these days is bring you down!"
I sighed, "Matt I am happy when I'm with you! Happy doesn't mean rolling around the floor splitting my sides!" I stroked his cheek & he turned & kissed my hand.
"Do you still love me?"
"I love you more!" I smiled & he seemed to cheer up a little. He rubbed my leg & smiled.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you!" he laughed, "We'll spend more time together I promise!"
"Haha well you'll be sick of the sight of me by the time we get home I bet!"
"I'll never.." he propped himself up on one elbow & reached up, putting his hand on the back of my neck & pulling me towards him, "…..ever…" he kissed me, "Get tired of looking…" he kissed me again, "…at you!" Again he kissed me & then smiled. "Even if you have caught some sort of Manic Panic disease from my brother!" he ruffled my hair where the red patch was & we both laughed. It sounds stupid now but I felt some huge relief that he actually noticed! It meant he was looking at me instead of around me & it was a damn good feeling to have!
Gently he rolled me onto my back & kissed me softly, running his tongue around the inside of my mouth. We made love like we'd never done before, it was slow & deep & all the time we weren't locked together in a kiss we were staring into each others eyes, while he ran his fingers slowly through my hair or over my face & neck! It was amazing, it felt like he loved me & I longed for that so much! I wanted to stay like that with him forever and an hour & a half later when we both climaxed together I had tears in my eyes he'd made me so happy!
By 11pm we decided to get dressed & try & get some food from somewhere! I couldn't even remember the last time I'd eaten things had been so crazy over the past few days!
We went out into the corridor. "Maybe I should check on Jeff?"
"Yeah he might wanna come along with us if he feels up to it? I might give Dwayne a knock if that's ok with you?"
"Sure thing babe!" He smiled. As I went to walk away he caught my hand & pulled me back into his arms for a kiss.
"Mmmm, what was that for?" I smiled.
"Oh no reason!" he smiled & kissed me again, I really was getting a lot of attention that night! Not that I was complaining!
Matt knocked on Jeff's door & went in & I poked my head around to see him sitting on his bed strumming his guitar! Matt didn't see me looking in, he had his back to the door so I gave Jeff a quick smile & left! I kinda needed to know he was ok myself & I felt better for seeing him up & alert! I knocked on Dwayne's door & he shouted, "It's open!" so I went inside. He was up & dressed, as a matter of fact he looked HOT DAMN in his leather pants & I whistled! "Check it out!!" I giggled. Dwayne held up his hands,
"Ladies please! I'm a married man!" He smirked.
"Yeah so I hear!" I raised my eyebrows!
"Awwww sorry to disappoint you!" he smiled.
"Get over yourself Johnson!" I laughed.
"So if it's not my body you're after what can I do for you?"
"Hey who said I wasn't after your body?" I winked & he laughed, "Ok! Ok! I'll admit it! Me & Matt were wondering if you wanted to go get something to eat with us?"
"Sounds like a plan I'm starving!" he grinned.
"Yeah hopefully Jeff will come along too, he's in there now trying to persuade him! So get ya coat & let's hit the bricks Rocky my boy!!"
He shook his head & laughed before grabbing a jacket from the bed, "You are spending waaay too much time with the Rock you know that?"
I looked at him innocently & said, "It doesn't matter how much time I'm spending with The Rock!"
"Get out of here!!" Dwayne laughed & pushed me out of the door!
Matt managed to persuade Jeff to come with us & even though I couldn't talk to him alone I was pleased he was with us all the same!
We went for Chinese & the night seemed to pass without a drama in sight! As we sat in the restaurant Matt held my hand or stroked my leg all the time, but there was something in the way he was paying me all this attention that I didn't like! He seemed to be keeping an eye on me & I had a feeling it was something to do with Jeff but I couldn't say for sure! I hardly spoke to Jeff all night though, I was too paranoid that my every move was being monitored! Eventually Matt went to the bathroom & Dwayne took the hint from my evil looks and followed him in leaving me alone with Jeff finally!!
"Are you ok?" I said as Jeff shuffled along the seat to be beside me.
"Yeah listen we haven't got long but I have to tell you he thinks I tried to kill myself last night!"
"I kinda got that feeling myself! What did he say?"
Jeff nervously looked over his shoulder, "That doesn't matter listen he thinks.." Jeff looked into my eyes, "well he thinks the reason I was trying to…commit suicide was….well…because there's something going on between me & you!"
"What? He said that??"
"No not in so many words but I know him Bec, I know how his mind works & it was the questions he asked me I just know that's what he was implying!"
"So, I guess we can't hang out as much then huh?" I said sadly.
Jeff sighed, "Well lets not give him any fuel for the fire! I know him & I know if he suspects that he'll kick my ass & ask questions later!" Jeff took hold of my hand & squeezed it. "Anyway things seem to be going very nicely for you two tonight!"
"Tell me about it! And I have no idea why he's all lovey dovey before you ask!"
Jeff smiled & looked down at our hands on the seat in between us, our fingers locked together, "look…" he rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb, "I know it's tempting fate but I need to talk to you about last night and if you're still adament that Matt shouldn't know then…"
"No I don't want to tell him, not yet!"
"Fine ok well…..meet me tonight!" Jeff's eyes sparkled like a naughty school kid & I would have laughed if I hadn't been so damn shocked that he'd even think of such a thing!
"I can't do that!"
"Wait until he's asleep then come to my room, I'll leave the door unlocked!"
"Oh God I don't know I mean…"
"Look it's up to you but I think we need a plan of action here don't you?" he looked around in the direction of the men's room again.
"I don't get ya?"
"Well the police won't do a damn thing! The bastard almost drowned me in a fucking bathtub! I'm not about to sit around on my ass waiting for him to put a bullet in my head Bec!" Jeff hissed at me through clenched teeth.
"Ok! Ok! I'll try but I'm not sure this is such a good idea!!"
Jeff smiled & I Smiled back at him, then we heard Matt talking to Dwayne behind us & Jeff quickly moved back along the seat. When they came back to the table Dwayne raised his eyebrows at me in a very disapproving manner!! I just looked away!