Coming Home
An ER fan fiction by AbCaLuDa
Chapter 12
"You should get some rest," Carter says. His hand feels like white heat on my shoulder. I look up at him. His hair is a mess, his beard is starting to show. He looks like hell, and I know if he looks that bad I must look ten times worse.
He's right. I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. But I shake my head. "I want to sit here and hold his hand."
"I can hold his hand as well as you can."
I look down and sigh, then look back up to meet Carter's eyes. "He thinks I'm Danijela."
"He's been shot, he's in a lot of pain and he's on a lot of medication. He's not thinking straight."
"That's why I have to stay here. Right here. When he wakes up, he will expect me to be here."
The nerve in his cheek twitches, but he only sighs and goes to sit on the other side of the bed. I reach across with my free hand and clasp his. He smiles at me, and I think about leaning over Luka to kiss him, but I won't do that. That would just be…wrong.
But that doesn't mean I can't think about it. I close my eyes and lick my lips, imagining him there. I feel my hands in his hair and his in mine. I feel his heart beating against my chest, but it isn't real. I open my eyes and he's looking at me with his head cocked to one side.
"What?" I say, trying to appear innocent.
"What?" he mimics me. I roll my eyes at him. "Penny for your thoughts," he grins. I feel my cheeks flush. Damn him and that irresistible grin of his. I look down at Luka's hand in mine.
"That good?" Carter asks.
I look up at him and smile. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
He just shakes his head. I lick my lips again, this time for his benefit, and tilt my head slightly to try to look sexy.
"You're cruel."
"I can't believe we're having this discussion in a hospital. In Africa."
He throws his arms up. "You started it."
"You instigated it!"
"Me? How?" He makes his eyes wide with innocence.
I snort and shake my head at him. "If you don't know by now…Why should I tell you?"
Luka stirs, putting a stop to the highly charged banter between Carter and me. Both of us turn our attention to Luka. Unfortunately he wants to talk in Croatian and neither of us can understand anything he says, except Danijela's name. I catch Jasna and Marko too, but Carter and I can only glance at each other helplessly.
"Luka," Carter says finally and leans in closer to Luka. "It's John Carter. Do you know where you are?"
Luka's eyes open briefly and his head moves slightly from side to side. "Hospital," he says.
"Do you remember what happened?"
Luka looks at me. "Danijela…"
"That's Abby. Do you remember Abby?"
His eyes close. He looks distressed. I stroke the back of his hand with my thumb. "Hey. It's okay. I'm right here."
"Danijela…"
I glance at Carter. He shakes his head. I turn back to Luka. "No, Luka. Danijela isn't here. She…"
"She died a long time ago," Carter says. Luka turns toward his voice and opens his eyes for only a few seconds. Carter continues, "During the war in Vukovar. You're in Africa now. Do you remember? We were working with the World Medical Group. I went back to Chicago and you stayed. You got shot, Luka. Abby and I came back to get you and take you home. You were hurt very badly and it wasn't safe to put you on a plane. So we're still in Africa. But I'm going to take you home soon, okay?"
Luka looks at me, and I feel like he wants me to tell him what Carter says isn't true. I just smile at him and hope he's comforted by that. I reach up to stroke his hair. The corners of his mouth relax, and he slips into sleep quickly.
I look at Carter and I want to throw him down, right there on the floor and have my way with him. My hormones feel all out of whack. Being this close to him without touching him is killing me. We need to find a way to have some alone time…before I go insane…
"What?" he says innocently, but the glint in his eye is anything but innocent.
I shrug. "I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
"I'm not telling."
"Awww, come on."
I shake my head. "You are impossible."
"We need a hotel room."
"Carter!" I yelp.
He laughs. "I know that's what you're thinking too."
"How do you know?"
"I can tell." He grins that silly grin again and I just want to melt into his arms and pretend none of this other stuff is going on. But Luka is still laying here fighting for his life on the bed between us, and Gillian is still asleep in the corner behind me and we are still in Africa…and Luka's condition is still too precarious to even think of taking him home or leaving him for a moment…
"I wish…"
"So do I," he says and reaches for my hand to squeeze it. "I'm going to go see if I can arrange something."
"Carter…"
He walks around the bed to stand next to me. "Gillian will be with him, Abby. We won't leave him alone."
"I know…"
"The truth is I'm going crazy here." He brings his hand up to caress my jaw. "I want you so bad I can't stand it another minute. So I'm going to go find us a hotel room and we're going to spend the night in a real bed, in each others arms. Okay?"
I nod and my hair falls in my face. He pushes it away and hooks it behind my ears. He gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek. I feel tears fill my eyes, but I blink them back and hope he doesn't notice.
"Are you okay with this, Abby? Because if you're not…I won't do it."
I shake my head. "I want to. I just…"
"Don't want to leave him, I know. But he's doing better now. And Gillian will stay with him."
I nod. "I love you, John Carter."
"I love you too, Abigail Lockhart." He grazes my lips ever so lightly then turns away. I watch him go before turning back to Luka.
* * * * * * * *
Tell me what you think. Feedback is like oxygen to the fire…I crave it, I need it…so give me some! Please! Thanks for reading!
An ER fan fiction by AbCaLuDa
Chapter 12
"You should get some rest," Carter says. His hand feels like white heat on my shoulder. I look up at him. His hair is a mess, his beard is starting to show. He looks like hell, and I know if he looks that bad I must look ten times worse.
He's right. I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. But I shake my head. "I want to sit here and hold his hand."
"I can hold his hand as well as you can."
I look down and sigh, then look back up to meet Carter's eyes. "He thinks I'm Danijela."
"He's been shot, he's in a lot of pain and he's on a lot of medication. He's not thinking straight."
"That's why I have to stay here. Right here. When he wakes up, he will expect me to be here."
The nerve in his cheek twitches, but he only sighs and goes to sit on the other side of the bed. I reach across with my free hand and clasp his. He smiles at me, and I think about leaning over Luka to kiss him, but I won't do that. That would just be…wrong.
But that doesn't mean I can't think about it. I close my eyes and lick my lips, imagining him there. I feel my hands in his hair and his in mine. I feel his heart beating against my chest, but it isn't real. I open my eyes and he's looking at me with his head cocked to one side.
"What?" I say, trying to appear innocent.
"What?" he mimics me. I roll my eyes at him. "Penny for your thoughts," he grins. I feel my cheeks flush. Damn him and that irresistible grin of his. I look down at Luka's hand in mine.
"That good?" Carter asks.
I look up at him and smile. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
He just shakes his head. I lick my lips again, this time for his benefit, and tilt my head slightly to try to look sexy.
"You're cruel."
"I can't believe we're having this discussion in a hospital. In Africa."
He throws his arms up. "You started it."
"You instigated it!"
"Me? How?" He makes his eyes wide with innocence.
I snort and shake my head at him. "If you don't know by now…Why should I tell you?"
Luka stirs, putting a stop to the highly charged banter between Carter and me. Both of us turn our attention to Luka. Unfortunately he wants to talk in Croatian and neither of us can understand anything he says, except Danijela's name. I catch Jasna and Marko too, but Carter and I can only glance at each other helplessly.
"Luka," Carter says finally and leans in closer to Luka. "It's John Carter. Do you know where you are?"
Luka's eyes open briefly and his head moves slightly from side to side. "Hospital," he says.
"Do you remember what happened?"
Luka looks at me. "Danijela…"
"That's Abby. Do you remember Abby?"
His eyes close. He looks distressed. I stroke the back of his hand with my thumb. "Hey. It's okay. I'm right here."
"Danijela…"
I glance at Carter. He shakes his head. I turn back to Luka. "No, Luka. Danijela isn't here. She…"
"She died a long time ago," Carter says. Luka turns toward his voice and opens his eyes for only a few seconds. Carter continues, "During the war in Vukovar. You're in Africa now. Do you remember? We were working with the World Medical Group. I went back to Chicago and you stayed. You got shot, Luka. Abby and I came back to get you and take you home. You were hurt very badly and it wasn't safe to put you on a plane. So we're still in Africa. But I'm going to take you home soon, okay?"
Luka looks at me, and I feel like he wants me to tell him what Carter says isn't true. I just smile at him and hope he's comforted by that. I reach up to stroke his hair. The corners of his mouth relax, and he slips into sleep quickly.
I look at Carter and I want to throw him down, right there on the floor and have my way with him. My hormones feel all out of whack. Being this close to him without touching him is killing me. We need to find a way to have some alone time…before I go insane…
"What?" he says innocently, but the glint in his eye is anything but innocent.
I shrug. "I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
"I'm not telling."
"Awww, come on."
I shake my head. "You are impossible."
"We need a hotel room."
"Carter!" I yelp.
He laughs. "I know that's what you're thinking too."
"How do you know?"
"I can tell." He grins that silly grin again and I just want to melt into his arms and pretend none of this other stuff is going on. But Luka is still laying here fighting for his life on the bed between us, and Gillian is still asleep in the corner behind me and we are still in Africa…and Luka's condition is still too precarious to even think of taking him home or leaving him for a moment…
"I wish…"
"So do I," he says and reaches for my hand to squeeze it. "I'm going to go see if I can arrange something."
"Carter…"
He walks around the bed to stand next to me. "Gillian will be with him, Abby. We won't leave him alone."
"I know…"
"The truth is I'm going crazy here." He brings his hand up to caress my jaw. "I want you so bad I can't stand it another minute. So I'm going to go find us a hotel room and we're going to spend the night in a real bed, in each others arms. Okay?"
I nod and my hair falls in my face. He pushes it away and hooks it behind my ears. He gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek. I feel tears fill my eyes, but I blink them back and hope he doesn't notice.
"Are you okay with this, Abby? Because if you're not…I won't do it."
I shake my head. "I want to. I just…"
"Don't want to leave him, I know. But he's doing better now. And Gillian will stay with him."
I nod. "I love you, John Carter."
"I love you too, Abigail Lockhart." He grazes my lips ever so lightly then turns away. I watch him go before turning back to Luka.
* * * * * * * *
Tell me what you think. Feedback is like oxygen to the fire…I crave it, I need it…so give me some! Please! Thanks for reading!