Chapter Four: In Which We Meet Jeannette
She was more beautiful that Arwen Evenstar herself, Legolas had to admit. She stood almost as tall as he was, he noted, after she arose with a willowy grace that rivaled that of a swan. "Legsy," she said, looking up at him through thick dark lashes. In her small dark hand there was a rather large (by Legolas's standards) book, with one slender finger marking her spot. "I am pleased to meet you."
Legolas did not know what to say. He had never been called Legsy before. "Thank you," he finally managed. "I'm, um, flattered." He grinned hopefully. "Yes, that's it. Flattered. Will Arwen really actually like me?"
Jeannette pointed to his hand. "If you can use that, yes."
Legolas automatically covered his hand. "Um." he said.
"You see, Legsy," Jeannette continued, forcing Legolas to sit, and then perching on his lap. "I've read The Lord of the Rings."
"What?" Legolas managed to gasp out, before Jeannette continued.
"I know all about Nenya, and Narya, and Vilya. I can tell you who has each of the three Elven Rings of Power. I know everything about you." She poked his nose, and Legolas blinked. "And since I know what Vilya can do, I should take it from you and use it to make you love me, and not that stupid Elf Arwen."
"Arwen's not-"
"Hush Legsy," Jeannette said. She leaned closer to Legolas, and he tried to lean back as far as his chair allowed. "Come back," she said, leaning even closer, trying to kiss him.
"NOOOOO!" Legolas yelled, and he frantically tossed his head. Looking down, he saw that Jeannette was in. blue breeches?
SMACK! Jeannette caught him on the cheek. "Thanks, Legsy," she said, tossing her hair in a victorious way. "Again?"
"No, thank you," Legolas squealed, trying to get away from Jeannette. "I am, um, perfectly content without a significant other."
"Wow," said Jeannette. "That was quite impressive. But I don't care. Give me Vilya." She held out her hand.
Legolas screamed. "NOOOOOOO!"
Jeannette smiled, and Legolas was blinded in the flash of white teeth. What kind of toothpaste does she use? he wondered. "Yes," she said firmly.
Legolas, unwillingly, dropped the Ring into Jeannette's open hand. Looking desperately past her, he noticed that her hair fell in soft curls down to her waist. What kind of conditioner does she use? Nevertheless, Jeannette was still on his lap, he was stuck in the chair, and she had Vilya. I'm screwed, he thought. "Somebody help me!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.
A servant stuck her head into the room. "Am I interrupting something?" she asked slyly, seeing the strange young woman on Legolas's lap.
Before Legolas could open his mouth, Jeannette said sternly, "No. Legsy and I were having a fine time, weren't we Legsy?"
Legolas found himself nodding. *CENSORED*, he thought. Now she's got me! "A wonderful time," he squeaked, terrified at the thought of he himself, Legolas Greenleaf, the most beautiful Elf in Arda, agreeing willingly with Jeannette. "You can go," he added, struggling valiantly to get out from under Jeannette. Now matter how small she was, she was strong. "Why are you in blue breeches?" he gasped out.
"They aren't breeches, silly," Jeannette said. "They're jeans. You know, pants." She looked expectantly at him.
Legolas didn't know. "Actually," he said. "I don't know. I have no idea what in the name of Elbereth you are wearing." And he didn't.
"Oh," Jeannette said, sounding puzzled and slightly hurt. "Well, then, give me some nicer clothes! I'm sooooo tired of stupid jeans and t- shirts!"
"Um," Legolas said. "I'll ask my father."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Jeannette cried, throwing her arms around Legolas and almost toppling them both from the chair.
"Um," Legolas said again. "You're welcome." He was immediately buried under a rain of kisses from Jeannette.
"Oh, Legsy!" she said happily. "I always knew you were really nice. Orli made you such a jerk to everyone else. A really hot jerk, but whatever!" She kissed him again, narrowly missing his lips. "Oh, this will be wonderful!"
She was more beautiful that Arwen Evenstar herself, Legolas had to admit. She stood almost as tall as he was, he noted, after she arose with a willowy grace that rivaled that of a swan. "Legsy," she said, looking up at him through thick dark lashes. In her small dark hand there was a rather large (by Legolas's standards) book, with one slender finger marking her spot. "I am pleased to meet you."
Legolas did not know what to say. He had never been called Legsy before. "Thank you," he finally managed. "I'm, um, flattered." He grinned hopefully. "Yes, that's it. Flattered. Will Arwen really actually like me?"
Jeannette pointed to his hand. "If you can use that, yes."
Legolas automatically covered his hand. "Um." he said.
"You see, Legsy," Jeannette continued, forcing Legolas to sit, and then perching on his lap. "I've read The Lord of the Rings."
"What?" Legolas managed to gasp out, before Jeannette continued.
"I know all about Nenya, and Narya, and Vilya. I can tell you who has each of the three Elven Rings of Power. I know everything about you." She poked his nose, and Legolas blinked. "And since I know what Vilya can do, I should take it from you and use it to make you love me, and not that stupid Elf Arwen."
"Arwen's not-"
"Hush Legsy," Jeannette said. She leaned closer to Legolas, and he tried to lean back as far as his chair allowed. "Come back," she said, leaning even closer, trying to kiss him.
"NOOOOO!" Legolas yelled, and he frantically tossed his head. Looking down, he saw that Jeannette was in. blue breeches?
SMACK! Jeannette caught him on the cheek. "Thanks, Legsy," she said, tossing her hair in a victorious way. "Again?"
"No, thank you," Legolas squealed, trying to get away from Jeannette. "I am, um, perfectly content without a significant other."
"Wow," said Jeannette. "That was quite impressive. But I don't care. Give me Vilya." She held out her hand.
Legolas screamed. "NOOOOOOO!"
Jeannette smiled, and Legolas was blinded in the flash of white teeth. What kind of toothpaste does she use? he wondered. "Yes," she said firmly.
Legolas, unwillingly, dropped the Ring into Jeannette's open hand. Looking desperately past her, he noticed that her hair fell in soft curls down to her waist. What kind of conditioner does she use? Nevertheless, Jeannette was still on his lap, he was stuck in the chair, and she had Vilya. I'm screwed, he thought. "Somebody help me!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.
A servant stuck her head into the room. "Am I interrupting something?" she asked slyly, seeing the strange young woman on Legolas's lap.
Before Legolas could open his mouth, Jeannette said sternly, "No. Legsy and I were having a fine time, weren't we Legsy?"
Legolas found himself nodding. *CENSORED*, he thought. Now she's got me! "A wonderful time," he squeaked, terrified at the thought of he himself, Legolas Greenleaf, the most beautiful Elf in Arda, agreeing willingly with Jeannette. "You can go," he added, struggling valiantly to get out from under Jeannette. Now matter how small she was, she was strong. "Why are you in blue breeches?" he gasped out.
"They aren't breeches, silly," Jeannette said. "They're jeans. You know, pants." She looked expectantly at him.
Legolas didn't know. "Actually," he said. "I don't know. I have no idea what in the name of Elbereth you are wearing." And he didn't.
"Oh," Jeannette said, sounding puzzled and slightly hurt. "Well, then, give me some nicer clothes! I'm sooooo tired of stupid jeans and t- shirts!"
"Um," Legolas said. "I'll ask my father."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Jeannette cried, throwing her arms around Legolas and almost toppling them both from the chair.
"Um," Legolas said again. "You're welcome." He was immediately buried under a rain of kisses from Jeannette.
"Oh, Legsy!" she said happily. "I always knew you were really nice. Orli made you such a jerk to everyone else. A really hot jerk, but whatever!" She kissed him again, narrowly missing his lips. "Oh, this will be wonderful!"