II. "Blasphemous", Would Not Suffice
Kaisarion walked towards the Great Hall with Telemachus by his side. Tonight was one of revelry and celebration. As was a tradition the night of the Volunteer Selection was celebrated with a grand party.
"Got a dramatic entrance planned out?" Telemachus asked
"Oh, I'm counting to hype me up, Tel"
"I won't let you down."
"Don't make me should sound like a self-absorbed prick"
"So don't make you sound like Nero."
"Precisely."
"Who do you take me for? One his lackeys?" Telemachus said.
"Don't you know Nero is simply the most talented trainee these halls have ever seen," Kaisarion said in a mocking tone.
"He simply the clear choice, he'd crush the competition blindfolded!" Telemachus added in the sample mocking tone.
The pair chuckled. They approached the entrance to the Grand hall. "You got my entrance speech prepared?"
"Allow me," Telemachus said, opening the door. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the arrival of one of the ones you have all been waiting for, the greater, the supremely skilled, the one and only Kaisarion Van Doren!"
"I said hype me up, Tel!"
Telemachus laughed. "Not the best improvising, should have given me time to prepare something in advance."
The pair walked into the Hall. Kaisarion was soon approached by Nero. "To what do I owe the displeasure?"
"I just wanted to say, that you are worthy of the volunteering spot and that you will do District Two proud," Nero said
Kaisarion let out a guffaw. "You have me on right now? How to put up to this, one of your lackeys? The party has just started you shouldn't have that much to drink"
Nero stood there seemingly bewildered.
"You know what Nero, I didn't have time to deal with you and your games" Kaisarion added as he walked away.
"Well, that was odd." Telemachus
"Who knows what Nero is on half the time? I think a drink after that, an extra strong one."
"Kai, it's a party you don't need to conjure up excuses."
Kaisarion laughed.
"One would think that you have been with the amount your laughing."
Kaisarion handed a drink to Telemachus. "I could say the same about you Tel"
The celebrations continued for some time with many congratulating him on his success, trying their best to mask their disappointment. Kaisarion noticed that Nero and his lackeys has sequestered themselves away in their corner. As they should, it was his moment of glory and celebration, not theirs. Amongst the celebrations, a certain absence was noticed, Enyo Thebes the female volunteer for this year was yet to show her face. Some begin to whisper that they had another Valerian on their hands. Though most did their best to keep words hushed, they looked around to make sure that he was near. Though Kaisarion developed a certain aptitude for detecting those who slated his brother.
"It's Valerian Van Doren, all over again!" Nero shouted "At least he waited until Reaping Day to disgrace himself. Knew they shouldn't have selected someone from The Crags."
Kaisarion began to shift towards Nero, only to have Telemachus grab his hand. "He's not worth it," he said.
Kaisarion pulled himself from Telemachus' grip and stared at Nero, trying to quell his surge of anger.
He was soon interrupted as the doors of the Grand Hall opened. Enyo Thebes entered through them. She was alone and did not look at anyone as he walked. She continued until reached the centre of the Hall.
"I know some of you by doubts, due to my origins. That is a mistake I may be have born in the Crags but my home is in the Institue." Enyo declared
A silence fell over the Hall.
"I carry honour and strength in my heart. I know some have doubts, but you are wrong and I will prove that to all of you!"
"She's perfectly capable of hyping herself out I'd watch out, if I were you," Telemachus whispered to Kaisarion.
After an uneasy pause. the Hall returned to its previous state of celebration. Kaisarion walked towards Enyo. "What was all that about?" Kaisarion asked
"What?"
"What did you think? That little speech"
"I wanted to make sure everyone knew where I stood. I wanted to ensure that I had the support of my fellow trainees, otherwise, how can I say will bring glory and honour to Two?" Enyo replied
"Good reasoning. Still a little strange though" Kaisarion replied
"But I guess you could say that's to be expected since I'm from The Crags and that place is not known for producing trainees let alone volunteers," Enyo said,
"What's life like in the villages, I know The Crags are different from the rest of the outlying villages, but I've only ever known the city," Kaisarion asked.
"Shit."
Kaisarion did not reply.
"Maybe somewhere like Granite Hill is different where they respect our values, but The Crags may as well be bloody Rubbletown," Enyo added
"I'm sorry to interrupt your little meeting, but It's time for Volunteer's cup," Telemachus said. He handed Kaisarion and Enyo each cup. "You have to drink this, all out it, down in one"
"What's in this?" Kaisarion
"I tell you after in you finished. It's more fun" Telemachus answered
Kaisairon sighed and put the cup to his lips. He began to gulp the drink down, its horrible concoction of contradictory flavours. He finished knocking back the drink and found throat and lips were ablaze. "So what's in that?"
"A mix of everyone's drinks here, with some vinegar, hot sauce and mustard thrown in for good measure. And put extra hot sauce in your Kaisarion because I know you can't handle spice"
"And neither can you Tel"
Returning from the night's celebration he opened the door to his home only to find a letter in the door. He picked it up. He recognised the handwriting it was Valerian's. He ran upstairs and into his room.
Dear Kai
Come place my place in Rubbletown, there is something of much importance that I wish to discuss with you. Come alone and come soon. On the other side, I have provided directions.
Valerian.
Kaisarion clung to the letter in his hands, his nails digging into the paper. Valerian. He had probably dropped off just a few hours back. No doubts he knew that Kaisarion would be first to see, the only one who would cross the threshold of the door at this early hour, on this particular night.
He wanted to talk. No doubt he wanted to persuade Kaisarion into not volunteering, something unthinkable. Kaisarion considered if he should cast the letter into a fire, in hopes that it would burn away the ghost of Valerian that still dwelled within his mind. Leaving nothing but the shadow that crawled out of a pathetic existence in Rubbletwon. But something stopped him. He still yearned for answers. He yearned to show that Valerian was wrong. Why should someone throw such a glorious opportunity?
Did Valerian realise something he didn't?
No. That was impossible. The only reasons Kaisarion had to visit Valerian find out how had become such as fool and prove him wrong.
Valerian still had such a hold over Kaisarion, even though meant to be a spectre in mind and the memory of someone better. Kaisarion would meet with what he had become in the years since his failure. Stare into the soul of something that thrown away everything that he had worked for and everything Two stands for. When he did he would banish the last claws in which Valerian clung to his mind.
Kaisarion would be free from him.
He climbed up the stairs and grabbed a hooded jacket which flung on himself. Dashing back down the stairs and out of the door. He knew that could not hesitate and allow doubt to clog his mind. The decision he had made at this moment was the right one.
Rubbletown of the shadow and same of District Two. Everything looked as if it were crumbling or had been assembled from what had a part. People walked with their shoulders hunched and their faces angled towards the ground. Kaisarion mimicked their postures, for fear of repercussion should they notice that was an outsider. The path beneath him was a myriad of dusty and small stones, that scraped against each other with each step that he took. Dim and oft-flickering light illuminated his dismal path.
Why would Valerian throw away everything, only to be forced to live here?
He walked down narrow street after narrow street drawing deeper and deeper into this desolate place. Clinging to note, looking down on occasion to check to he was on the right path, with each step he questioned if should turn back and run home. Damn, his brother for choosing to live in the heart of this wretched hive. To his relief had at last reached the shack that Valerian now called home. He knocked on the door and waited for an answer. Kaisarion heard the sound of footsteps through the door. The door and open and Kaisarion saw his brother for the first time since Reaping Day three years ago.
He looked just as he remembered him. Valerian wasn't the shadow or shell that Kaisarion thought he would be - that hoped he would be. He was as he was in Kaisarion's treasured memories.
He was Valerian.
"Come in," Valerian said. "I knew you would come."
Kaisarion stepped into the shack.
"I have come to prove that you were a fool," Kaisarion said
"Of course, you have," Valerian replied. His voice was filled with a certain resignation.
Kaisarion took a moment to take in his surroundings. The room was small, with a single shoddy wooden table and chairs in the centre. Counters against walls with various pieces of cutlery and crockery thrown across them, a rusty-looking hob and oven.
A pitiful place for a pitiful man. But Valerian wasn't that. At least he did appear to be, but perhaps he was just adept at masking his nature.
"You will not convince me." Kaisarion declared
"Who says I am here to convince you? And what exactly?" Valerian replied
Kaisarion paused for a moment. "Too not volunteer. To disgrace myself."
"You free from the Games and to see not volunteering as a true mark of honour."
Kaisarion scoffed.
"You are not as self-assured and certain as you think you are," Valerian continued. "If you were you would not be here. I doubt that Justinian and Hecate would be if had asked them."
"Maybe father and mother have more sense than I do," Kaisarion said. "And I have already told you why I am here." Kaisarion hissed
"To convince me of my own foolishness, yes. Something you know is futile. Since you believe me to be wanting to convince you of your foolishness. No, you are here to convince and assure yourself," Valerian said.
"Mind games won't work on me!" Kaisarion spat, slamming his hands against the table.
Valerian took little note of Kaisarion's comment. "After all, what could the brother you looked be so wrong about."
"Don't. Don't use my memory of you like that!" Kaisarion attempted to calm himself. "I…I… admired you and you were going to be pride and yourself, to our family, to District Two and threw all away so sit rot away here! And now you're here claiming that my admiration of your former self is why dragged myself here!" Kaisarion said, his words full of fury.
"That was wrong of me. Let us get back to the matter at hand. Ask the question that you came here to ask, " said Valerian
Kaisarion took a few moments to stop storming out right then and there. Answers. He needed answers and this might be the only chance that he had to get them. "Why did choose to not volunteer".
"Because there is nothing to be found in the Games. Nothing noble or glorious, anyway." Valerian answered
"What?"
"Every year we watch Games. And every year I saw those Outer Districts be slaughtered, with their moments being ones of utter terror, tell me where honour in that?"
"In our tributes. It is not our fault if the Outers are without pride or honour. That's fucking on them!"
"What answer you were expecting? For me to admit that I'm a coward and a fool? Is that what you hoped for?"
"That would have been easier to understand!" Kaisarion replied
"You are not ready to accept the truth yet. I can only hope you do before it is too late."
"I am going to prove you wrong. I'm going to volunteer and return home victorious and just what a fool you are and what you have thrown away." Kaisarion declared
"Of course you are."
It would be so easy. He just had to wait for the right moment. For Valerian to turn his back or even look away. Then he could strike. A sharp knife lay just behind him. He could grab it easily. Then rush towards his target. It would be unexpected. It was unthinkable. His dear little brother could never do such a thing.
But that was where his target was wrong. He was capable of killing, as his target knew that. The kill tests, one had proved were prepared to shed blood if they were to stand a chance at getting into the Games. His target knew that he had done it himself. He knew that he had done it. Yet here stood acting all holier than thou, like hadn't killed someone just to prove something? It didn't make sense. He wasn't telling the full story. He wasn't telling the truth. He had to be silenced. So couldn't spill his filth anymore. So could bring the same upon his family any longer, so they could finally be rid of them and move forward.
It was a simple matter. He could do it. Fix everything.
A cover would be needed though. He would place his body somewhere, make it look like he had been killed by some lowlife. A motive wouldn't be hard to conjure up. Someone who held his former position as a chosen volunteer against him, after all, numerous dissenters, traitors and cowards lurked here.
It was a simple matter. A single well-placed strike. They wouldn't trace it back to him. Would it even be noticed, and if they did wouldn't they care?
What if they did? He could lose everything. Dragging a bloodied body across the streets would draw suspicion. If he did do the deed, how could show him that he was wrong? It was unthinkable.
He was his brother, someone who he still did care for despite everything. Someone he had many fond memories of despite everything. It was unthinkable. No matter how much he tried to deny it, at the end of all he did still deeply care for his older brother, a weakness though it may be.
"We're done here," Kaisarion said, moving to make his departure.
"Farwell, Kai"
Kaisrion left the shack, looking back as Valerian closed the door behind him. He stood there for a moment. How could he have even considered such as thing, to even have thought it? It was this place. Something about this place was corrupting. Something he felt would twist him into something else if stayed any longer. He hastily made his way out of Rubbletown, where he headed back to the Circle of Honour, where his home was. He hoped that no one sees him on either journey. His visit to Valerian had to remain his secret and the word said in the meeting to be kept between them. His parents wouldn't understand, nor his sibling, nor anyone.
It could have been the last opportunity had to see him. Though he loathed thinking about it, there was a chance that he might return in a casket, instead of a crown. It was a slim chance, but it was still a chance. Considering that, he had to see his older brother one last time, even if did not as the man had become. Though had hoped his meeting had left with more answers and closure, instead of doubts and questions.
Arriving back home, he quietly opened the door and crept in. Ascending the stairs as quietly as he could, he noticed someone standing at the top of the stairs - Julian. He could not now.
"What are you doing up so late?" Kaisarion whispered
"I heard you leaving somewhere in hurry" Julian answered
He must have made a racket in his rush to leave, his hurry to not give the mind the opportunity to change itself. "A little afterparty, Tel dragged me out it, and couldn't say no to my best friend, could I? Just not tell mother or father. Now back to bed with you"
Hesitating for a moment Julian returned to his bedroom.
Kaisarion took no pleasure in lying, especially to his little brother, but it was better this way. He would not understand, he was too young and he couldn't risk him telling mother and father. He returned to his own room and tried to put himself into the mindset that he hadn't had his late-night adventure.