PG-13 (Because Trigun is K-13)
Humor/Parody (?)
By PopMonkey7
Description: After the Trigun anime show had ended, everyone's life came very boring and especially their love life's (if there even were one). But suddenly their problems has been solved; dating company 'Perfect Match' has arrived to the town and everybody wants to find that special one.
A/N: Oh this insanity! BWHUHAHHAHAHAAA!! BTW, I don't own Trigun, Mr. Nightow owns but I own the dating company, because I'm the boss! XD Note! All the characters are OOC, so this story would be possible and more interesting.
Wolfwood: Boring. -_-_?
Vash:
Wolfwood: Maybe hell has been frozen
Vash: I dunno maybe
Wolfwood: Ever since the show ended, life has become so boring back in the show, there never was a day without action, now, the action is than can I get rid of Milly the hyper active pudding girl *deep sing* -_-_?
Vash: I though you liked Milly?
Wolfwood: I do like her when she's not trying to force me to marry her
Vash: Marry?! O.O Why you haven't told me? I'm your best friend! You lucky one I wish I could get married some day with a pretty girl ;_;
Wolfwood: Propose Meryl.
Vash: Huh?
Wolfwood: Ya heard me propose Meryl, marry her
Vash: Are you serious? O.o
Wolfwood: I'm a priest, Vash. T_T
Vash: Hmm Meryl Stampede Hihii no!
Wolfwood: Why not?
Vash: She will only slap me and blame everything I wanna a fairy princess not a slapping bitch.
Meryl: Who's slapping bitch, Vash? :-o
Vash: O.O;; Meryl um
Wolfwood: Vash meant you are Meryl.
Vash: WOLFWOOD!
Wolfwood: I'm bored go a head Meryl it's all yours. ^_^
Meryl: Thank you, Wolfwood.
Vash: Guys! O.O I'm your friend! You can't do that to me!
Meryl: Oh yeah just watch me! *slap*
Vash: +_+
Meryl: That was refreshing.
Wolfwood: You said it. ^_^
Vash: 56 beer bottles on the wall, 56 beer bottles on the wall x_x
Wolfwood: You have come soften, Meryl. Usually he faints right away
Meryl: You are right! O.O I can't believe that I'm starting to wish that Knives would be on the lose again.
Knives: Hi.
Wolfwood: Well, well it's devil himself ¬_¬
Knives: Hey, I haven't yet insult so shut up.
Vash: 81 beer bottles on the wall, 23 beer bottles on the wall, Vash: 6 beer bottles on the wall, millions of shiny knives on the wall x_x
Knives: May I ask what happen to my brother? ¬_¬
Wolfwood + Meryl: No.
Knives: Good. I didn't want to know. T_T
:: Knives sits on the couch next to Wolfwood, and Meryl sits next to Knives and Vash sings something odd on the floor ::
Wolfwood: Maybe there's something on the TV *turns TV on*
Knives: I wanna watch National Geographic.
Wolfwood: We are not watching some boring documentary films again! ._?
Meryl: I want to see the Young And Restless.
Wolfwood + Knives: O.o
Wolfwood: I though you don't watch TV much, because what was the reason, Knives?
Knives: There only comes some stupid soup operas and the Young And
Restless is soup opera, Meryl You are not making any sense here.
Meryl: I know, but I'm bored... I don't have anything else to do.
Vash: I think Ridge is best! ^_^
Everyone: O.o
Knives: Vash, he's in the Bold And The Beautiful, not in Young And The Restless ¬_¬
Vash: I know, but he's the best. ^_^
Knives: None of you are not making any sense! LEGATO!
Legato: *in kitchen surprise, surprise* YES, MASTER!
Knives: We are out to kill humans!
Legato: Hooray. -_\\ ß Legato is happy.
Knives + Legato: *leaves*
Wolfwood: Vash, shouldn't you stop them? They are going to kill humans. ¬_¬
Vash: O.o
Wolfwood: 1
Vash: o.O
Wolfwood: 2
Vash: O.O Oh crap! *runs out* KNIVES! LEGATO! STOP!
Wolfwood: 3
Meryl: Slow headed moron. ¬_¬
Wolfwood: Well, at least he's on time. T_T_?
Meryl: Seriously, you shouldn't smoke inside.
Wolfwood: I know, but I try to keep Milly away.
Meryl: Wolfwood
Wolfwood: Before you ask why, I will answer you right away. I don't wanna get married! I'm a priest! I wanna keep my freedom! Okay? Understand it?
Meryl: Um, yes I understand, but I was just about to ask that could we watch Young And The Restless now
Wolfwood: O.o Oh um okay. *turns TV on*
Pretty women on TV: Is your life boring? So boring that you are watching Young and The Restless now??
Wolfwood: How did she know? O.ô
Meryl: I hate commercials -_-;;
TV-Women: Do you need more action in your life?
Wolfwood: Yes, please.
TV-Women: Is your love life well lame?
Wolfwood: Hell yeah!
TV-Women: If you answered yes to all of these questions yes, we have solution to you.
Wolfwood: You do? O.O
Meryl: -_-;;
TV-Women: 'Perfect Match' is your answer. We have thousand of lonely and bored persons like you waiting for a date or just a friend. Everyday we get tens of peoples together and make them happy. Do you wanna be like them? *shows a picture of a happy couple* If you do, just give us a call. The number is 1-800-BTG-IS-BEST. Or you can just visit our site and take our 'Love Machine' test what will pick your perfect match from thousands of persons. Call now. The number is -
Wolfwood: I'm calling, I'm calling! *picks up the phone* 1-800-BTG-IS-BEST
Meryl: Are you really seriously going to call there, Wolfwood? O.ô
Wolfwood: Why not? I don't wanna marry Milly and have ten kids with her! This maybe be my last possibility to be free priest.
Meryl: T_T
Wolfwood: Hello?
Women on phone: Welcome to Perfect Match -
Wolfwood: I wanna date right away!
Women: That's why we are here; to help you get a date -
Wolfwood: Yeah, yeah get to the point! I wanna a women!
Women: What kind of company are you looking for, sir?
Wolfwood: O.o Um I dunno tall pretty lady who likes smoking priest?!
Women: Wait for a second, our machines are working right away and give your perfect date company would you like to hear out other special offers, sir?
Wolfwood: Special offers?
Women: Yes. We do lots of more than help people to find the perfect match. Perfect Match is more than a date service -
Wolfwood: I just want a date, that's all. T_T_?
Women: - we have this new hair spray for bold men -
Wolfwood: I'm good-looking guy with hair and who doesn't need anything else but a date -
Women: Maybe out new 'Relaxing Water Aerobic' video would be good for you, sir -
Wolfwood: I hate aerobic, especially water! T_T
Women: Ah, your result is ready.
Wolfwood: FINALLY! Who is it?
Women: A pretty women name Milly Thompson. I'm sure you two will be have a wonderful date -
Wolfwood: MILLY?! O.O Did you said Milly Thompson?
Women: Yes. Do you like to hear more about her, sir?
Wolfwood: Not thanks. *hangs up the phone* O.O
Meryl: Well, did you get a date? you don't seem to be happy.
Wolfwood: The result was Milly.
Meryl: What result?
Wolfwood: The machine said my perfect date company was Milly Thompson. O.O
Meryl: O.o Huh?
Wolfwood: I will go for a walk I need to start thinking about our kids names ;_;
Meryl: o.O
Vash: *hiding in a trash can, once again* Why Knives won't ever stop killing humans? ;_; It's so sad ya know.
Kuroneko: Nya! (I know)
Vash: *sniff* And Legato gees he's so scary. I can't do nothing when he's around. He always uses his mind powers and I don't even know who to use them like Knives do maybe I'm really a stupid ;_;
Kuroneko: Nya! Nya! (I agree. You are stupid as a wood stick.)
Vash: ¬_¬ Stupid cat
Kuroneko: Nya!! (SHH!)
Vash: O.O
Legato: Master, did you hear that voice? My left hand is shaking I think your brother is near.
Knives: Well, that means no killing humans today again. Life is so boring. I will kill myself soon.
Legato: O.O PLESE, MASTER NO! DON'T DO IT! DON'T KILL YOURSELF, KILL ME!!
Knives: ¬_¬ I was just joking and I won't kill you. You are all ready dead, Legato.
Legato: O.o Um, oh yes You are so wise, master. -_\\ -- Legato is REALLY happy.
Knives: -_- I know that all ready. Tell me something new.
Legato: Um, there's a new pet shop in the town??
Knives: Let's go there. I don't have anything better to do.
Vash: Pet shop? O.o
Legato: There is was a again master!
Knives: Forget it. Let's go use your MasterCard.
Legato: Um, may I ask, why mine?
Knives: Who was the one who borrowed my card last time and bough food so much that I can't get a new card until someone pays 10 000 dollars to Credit Card Company?? :-o
Legato: -_\\;; I deserve to die, master. It was me.
Knives: It was you, I know! STOP THAT MASTER THING ALLREADY EADY! IT'S STARTING TO GET IN MY NERVES GOD DAMMED! XO
Legato: Yes master. -_\\
Knives: God dammed, that I have humans -_-;;
Vash: O.o
Kuroneko: Nya! (He's a scary man your brother I mean.)
Vash: Yup it's still a deep mystery how we are twins. O.o
Legato: Master -_\\
Knives:
Legato: Master. -_\\
Knives:
Legato: Master. -_\\ ß Legato is annoyed.
Knives: Yes?
Legato: My left hand
Knives: I know. He's just behind us and hiding behind a newspaper. -_-;;
Vash: O.o;; Darn, you are good
Knives: Why are you following us, dear brother of mine? T_T
Vash: Um well it was the cats idea! *points nothing* Um, were did it go? Kuroneko-sama? Lord Black Cat? Were are you? Kitty, kitty
Kuroneko: *in another trash can* (I hate that name.) =T_T=
Vash: Oh well
Knives: Why are YOU following us?!
Vash: I'm sure you two are up to your no-good evil plans again. And it's my duty to protect these humans.
Random man: I hate my life! I wanna die and kill myself!
Random women: Oh, Pierre doesn't love me oh why why you life hate me? I will go home and hang myself!
Random teen: Everyone hates me I hate everyone I will become satanic and kill myself.
Legato: I deserve to die, like we all of us. -_\\
Knives: -_-;; Not again
Random person: *sings* I hate this world, this fucking world, this cruel world I wanna die
Random kid: I want a lollipop boo hoo!!
Vash: At least that kid didn't want to die. O.o.;; What's with people they only want to die. ;_; Suicide is bad.
Knives: So these are the persons you wanna save, Vash? o.ô
Vash: Um yes. O.o.;;
Knives: -_-;; Well, I give up. If everyone wants to die then I won't kill no one.
Vash + Legato: O.O. -_\\ ß Legato is surprised like Vash is.
Knives: Legato, give me your MasterCard. T_T
Legato: Yes master. *give it away*
Knives: Thank you. And now on, you won't call me master, there won't be anymore Gung-Ho Dumds, no killing just me and my hamster
Vash + Legato: Hamster?? O.O. O_\\
Knives: Yes. I will buy myself a hamster and move away from you all. I don't want to see you anymore and you won't see me anymore. Smell ya later. *walks away*
Vash: Just before he came to his sense, he left me alone with this freak next to me ;_; Boo-hoo!
Legato: O.\\
Vash: Legato?
Legato: O.\\
Vash: Legato?!
Legato: *brakes down in tears* MY MASTER HAS LEFT ME! I AHVENO REASONS TO LIVE! I WANNA KILL MYSELF!
Vash: O.o Legato crying?
Legato: ;_\\ *sniff* I - need - hot dogs *walks away like a zombie*
Vash: O.o
End of part 1