Lost, Confused, Unkind (Sequel To "Freaked)
Chapter 33
We hardly spoke on the drive to the airport. I didn't know what was happening, all I knew was Shane had called & told them Vince wanted them on Raw and Adam & Shannon would meet us there! My mind whirred with a thousand possibilities of what I could do next & what I could do if I was pregnant, God forbid! Don't get me wrong, given time I would have had ten kids with Matt, but right now things were too unstable, if I was pregnant it would be the end of me & Matt & I didn't know how I would cope with a baby on my own!
When we got to the arena the fans were out in force again except this time Matt was in no mood for autographs & pleasantries and he politely told them all he was late for work! Jeff made up for his absence and ended up out there for over an hour!
In the locker room we were greeted by Shannon & Adam. I put on a face & smiled, laughed at their jokes & pretended everything was just fine, until they left. Once me & Matt were alone it was awkward & we didn't speak.
"I'm havin a shower! The camcorder's in the bag if you want it!" He slammed the bathroom door & I winced. I wasn't in the mood to go around smiling at everyone while I filmed for Jake but I just wanted to get away from Matt for a while so I took the camcorder as an excuse to leave. I didn't know half the guys I passed in the corridors but my mind was elsewhere & I didn't even switch the camera on! I headed in what I hoped was the direction of the main arena & thankfully I was right! I loved this time, before a show when everything was being put together & I sat in an empty seat to watch, still fascinated by the hustle & bustle of the pre-show activities!
I was lost in my thoughts when a girl came up & asked if she could sit with me.
"Sure!" I smiled, "Plenty of empty seats!"
She laughed, "Yeah there is now anyway! I'm Trish!" She held out her hand & I shook it.
"Bec! Nice to meet you!"
"Hey Bec! You too! You work here?"
"No I'm here with a friend, well he's kinda my boyfriend I guess!" Trish looked confused, "Matt, Matt Hardy?"
She smiled, "Oh so YOU'RE Bec! Now I'm with you! Jeff told me about you!"
"Oh…um….right!"
"So you here with Jeff then?"
"No, no, Matt's here!"
"Matt's here? At Raw?"
"Yeah! He's meant to be doing a run in or something with Shannon! Oh & Adam's here too!"
"Oh cool!" she beamed, "I'll have to catch up with them!"
"Yeah go for it, they are all in the locker room as far as I know!"
"Hmm listen I couldn't help but notice you were a little well, away with the fairies there!" she smiled, "Anything I can help you with?"
I laughed. "I doubt it! But thanks anyway!"
"Oh here's the man of the moment! Hey Matt!" She stood up & hugged Matt, "so good to see you!" she kissed his cheek.
"Yeah you too Trish! How've you been lately?"
"God thanks! Yourself?"
"Yeah…um Bec I'm goin' down to the ring! Catch you later Trish!" Matt went down the steps & Trish sat back down.
"Ok so now I get it!"
"Get what?" I said as I watched Matt walking away.
"You guys have a fight? That's why you looked so down before! Am I right?"
I laughed, "yeah, something like that! It's nothing really, just a bit of a tiff!" I lied.
'Hey girls what's happenin'?" I looked up to see Jeff standing beside us with his hands on his hips, chewing gum as always.
"Oh hi Jeff! Nothing really, Matt's in the ring!" I looked away.
"Hey Jeff! I was just getting acquainted with your future sister-in-law here!" Trish smiled & Jeff looked down to the ring, nodding. "I hear from Bec that Adam & Shannon are here too huh?"
"Yeah….." Jeff said absentmindedly, "listen I better go, catch you girls later!" He headed off in the direction of the ring & I watched him all the way.
"Nice guy Jeff!" Trish said.
"What? Oh yeah, he is!" I forced a smile.
"Mighty fine ass too!" Trish winked.
"I guess! I hadn't really noticed!"
"Sure you have!" She nudged me & giggled. I smiled, Oh if only you knew what I'd noticed about him I thought to myself! I went back to watching the guys in the ring. Matt seemed a little overly aggressive & I hoped he wasn't about to take it out on Jeff! "We dated for a while, me & Jeff!"
"Oh?" I said, turning to face her, "Was it serious?"
"Naaah! I think I wanted fun & Jeff was all hearts & flowers!" She laughed, "I always used to joke that I was dating the wrong brother!" She giggled, "Oh I didn't mean….well I don't…y'know?"
"That's ok! I totally understand!" I looked back to the ring.
"You do?"
"Yeah!" I sighed then realized how it sounded, "Oh no! I don't mean, with Jeff…me? No!" I forced a smiled, "I meant the hearts & flowers thing y'know? Like as in Matt & Jeff being complete opposites!" I rolled my eyes. "Ok I'm gonna shut up now!"
Trish laughed, "That's ok! I think I know what you mean!"
"Ah I'm just feeling sorry for myself, pay no attention!" I smiled, but she was right! I wanted hearts & flowers & I wasn't gonna get that with Matt! I watched them in the ring, things were getting a bit rough & I was getting a bit concerned! Trish was about to say something when Matt clotheslined Jeff with such force it almost knocked him out of his boots!
"Jesus!" Trish stood up, "Where the hell did that come from? That's not like Matt to slip up like that!"
Jeff lay in the ring & some of the other guys stared at Matt, who just stood there, staring at his brother on the floor clutching his neck.
"Go to him Matt!" I said quietly to myself. "Go on! Go to him!" I bit on my lip as Matt still just stood there, "Please God make him go to him!" Trish started down the steps.
"Something's wrong! You coming?" I slowly shook my head not taking my eyes off the ring.
"Go to your brother you son of a bitch!" I said through clenched teeth! I knew if he didn't in the next 5 seconds then I was gone! Next plane back to England, out of his life forever! I held my breath & Finally Matt jumped to his brother's aid, sitting him up & putting his arm around his shoulders as Jeff fought to get his breath back! He looked up towards me & I just stood up & left. I was getting tired of his shit & I didn't have the energy for another argument.
The corridor was full of people and I had to push my way through the crowds to make my way back to the locker room. Just as I reached out for the door handle another hand got to it first, a huge hand & I smiled before I even looked up! I knew it had to be Dwayne!
"What in Gods name are you doing here!?" I smiled & reached up on tiptoes to hug him.
"Well, I knew you'd be missing me so I swung it with Vince!" he laughed.
"Yeah yeah! Now tell me why you're really here!" I laughed & Dwayne opened the door & ushered me inside.
"Ah ok you got me! Well I'm here to be a bad guy! I'm staying on Raw, well for the time being!"
"Oh NO! The Rock….a bad guy? Jake will be gutted!" I giggled.
"Yep I'll be a bit of a nasty bastard but hopefully I can work a comedy aspect into it! I think it'll be fun! Well I hope it will!"
"I'm sure you'll pull it off!"
"Well I hate to leave you honey but I have to go to work!" Dwayne stood up.
"Aww well I guess we'll catch up sometime soon!" I stood up & he hugged me before he said goodbye & left me alone in the locker room. As soon as he closed the door behind him the feeling of dread came over me again!
Chapter 33
We hardly spoke on the drive to the airport. I didn't know what was happening, all I knew was Shane had called & told them Vince wanted them on Raw and Adam & Shannon would meet us there! My mind whirred with a thousand possibilities of what I could do next & what I could do if I was pregnant, God forbid! Don't get me wrong, given time I would have had ten kids with Matt, but right now things were too unstable, if I was pregnant it would be the end of me & Matt & I didn't know how I would cope with a baby on my own!
When we got to the arena the fans were out in force again except this time Matt was in no mood for autographs & pleasantries and he politely told them all he was late for work! Jeff made up for his absence and ended up out there for over an hour!
In the locker room we were greeted by Shannon & Adam. I put on a face & smiled, laughed at their jokes & pretended everything was just fine, until they left. Once me & Matt were alone it was awkward & we didn't speak.
"I'm havin a shower! The camcorder's in the bag if you want it!" He slammed the bathroom door & I winced. I wasn't in the mood to go around smiling at everyone while I filmed for Jake but I just wanted to get away from Matt for a while so I took the camcorder as an excuse to leave. I didn't know half the guys I passed in the corridors but my mind was elsewhere & I didn't even switch the camera on! I headed in what I hoped was the direction of the main arena & thankfully I was right! I loved this time, before a show when everything was being put together & I sat in an empty seat to watch, still fascinated by the hustle & bustle of the pre-show activities!
I was lost in my thoughts when a girl came up & asked if she could sit with me.
"Sure!" I smiled, "Plenty of empty seats!"
She laughed, "Yeah there is now anyway! I'm Trish!" She held out her hand & I shook it.
"Bec! Nice to meet you!"
"Hey Bec! You too! You work here?"
"No I'm here with a friend, well he's kinda my boyfriend I guess!" Trish looked confused, "Matt, Matt Hardy?"
She smiled, "Oh so YOU'RE Bec! Now I'm with you! Jeff told me about you!"
"Oh…um….right!"
"So you here with Jeff then?"
"No, no, Matt's here!"
"Matt's here? At Raw?"
"Yeah! He's meant to be doing a run in or something with Shannon! Oh & Adam's here too!"
"Oh cool!" she beamed, "I'll have to catch up with them!"
"Yeah go for it, they are all in the locker room as far as I know!"
"Hmm listen I couldn't help but notice you were a little well, away with the fairies there!" she smiled, "Anything I can help you with?"
I laughed. "I doubt it! But thanks anyway!"
"Oh here's the man of the moment! Hey Matt!" She stood up & hugged Matt, "so good to see you!" she kissed his cheek.
"Yeah you too Trish! How've you been lately?"
"God thanks! Yourself?"
"Yeah…um Bec I'm goin' down to the ring! Catch you later Trish!" Matt went down the steps & Trish sat back down.
"Ok so now I get it!"
"Get what?" I said as I watched Matt walking away.
"You guys have a fight? That's why you looked so down before! Am I right?"
I laughed, "yeah, something like that! It's nothing really, just a bit of a tiff!" I lied.
'Hey girls what's happenin'?" I looked up to see Jeff standing beside us with his hands on his hips, chewing gum as always.
"Oh hi Jeff! Nothing really, Matt's in the ring!" I looked away.
"Hey Jeff! I was just getting acquainted with your future sister-in-law here!" Trish smiled & Jeff looked down to the ring, nodding. "I hear from Bec that Adam & Shannon are here too huh?"
"Yeah….." Jeff said absentmindedly, "listen I better go, catch you girls later!" He headed off in the direction of the ring & I watched him all the way.
"Nice guy Jeff!" Trish said.
"What? Oh yeah, he is!" I forced a smile.
"Mighty fine ass too!" Trish winked.
"I guess! I hadn't really noticed!"
"Sure you have!" She nudged me & giggled. I smiled, Oh if only you knew what I'd noticed about him I thought to myself! I went back to watching the guys in the ring. Matt seemed a little overly aggressive & I hoped he wasn't about to take it out on Jeff! "We dated for a while, me & Jeff!"
"Oh?" I said, turning to face her, "Was it serious?"
"Naaah! I think I wanted fun & Jeff was all hearts & flowers!" She laughed, "I always used to joke that I was dating the wrong brother!" She giggled, "Oh I didn't mean….well I don't…y'know?"
"That's ok! I totally understand!" I looked back to the ring.
"You do?"
"Yeah!" I sighed then realized how it sounded, "Oh no! I don't mean, with Jeff…me? No!" I forced a smiled, "I meant the hearts & flowers thing y'know? Like as in Matt & Jeff being complete opposites!" I rolled my eyes. "Ok I'm gonna shut up now!"
Trish laughed, "That's ok! I think I know what you mean!"
"Ah I'm just feeling sorry for myself, pay no attention!" I smiled, but she was right! I wanted hearts & flowers & I wasn't gonna get that with Matt! I watched them in the ring, things were getting a bit rough & I was getting a bit concerned! Trish was about to say something when Matt clotheslined Jeff with such force it almost knocked him out of his boots!
"Jesus!" Trish stood up, "Where the hell did that come from? That's not like Matt to slip up like that!"
Jeff lay in the ring & some of the other guys stared at Matt, who just stood there, staring at his brother on the floor clutching his neck.
"Go to him Matt!" I said quietly to myself. "Go on! Go to him!" I bit on my lip as Matt still just stood there, "Please God make him go to him!" Trish started down the steps.
"Something's wrong! You coming?" I slowly shook my head not taking my eyes off the ring.
"Go to your brother you son of a bitch!" I said through clenched teeth! I knew if he didn't in the next 5 seconds then I was gone! Next plane back to England, out of his life forever! I held my breath & Finally Matt jumped to his brother's aid, sitting him up & putting his arm around his shoulders as Jeff fought to get his breath back! He looked up towards me & I just stood up & left. I was getting tired of his shit & I didn't have the energy for another argument.
The corridor was full of people and I had to push my way through the crowds to make my way back to the locker room. Just as I reached out for the door handle another hand got to it first, a huge hand & I smiled before I even looked up! I knew it had to be Dwayne!
"What in Gods name are you doing here!?" I smiled & reached up on tiptoes to hug him.
"Well, I knew you'd be missing me so I swung it with Vince!" he laughed.
"Yeah yeah! Now tell me why you're really here!" I laughed & Dwayne opened the door & ushered me inside.
"Ah ok you got me! Well I'm here to be a bad guy! I'm staying on Raw, well for the time being!"
"Oh NO! The Rock….a bad guy? Jake will be gutted!" I giggled.
"Yep I'll be a bit of a nasty bastard but hopefully I can work a comedy aspect into it! I think it'll be fun! Well I hope it will!"
"I'm sure you'll pull it off!"
"Well I hate to leave you honey but I have to go to work!" Dwayne stood up.
"Aww well I guess we'll catch up sometime soon!" I stood up & he hugged me before he said goodbye & left me alone in the locker room. As soon as he closed the door behind him the feeling of dread came over me again!